feeling down

[hassleabe]

well its 6 days now till my son goes to residentail school and i am feeling totally down. i know it will be good for him but i have never been without him will he cope without his twin brother..how will he sleep when he can't get in my bed.... he says i wont be his mum anymore cos they will be looking after him......i am also so scared that it wont work out and he will kick off and attack someone there its been 8 months since he has had any socail interaction with anyone since he got kicked out of school god i hope he can cope....i know this school WILL be good for him its only been open 3 years and is built totally around kids with autism and its only 40 mins away but he as become so violent i worry for his future sorry for waffling just needed to write down how i was feeling

[sesley]

<'> for you, i am sure things will be fine it is hard, i haven't to face packing him off to residential school yet, though i am wondering if and when,since he does loose his temper and lash out at teachers and anyone else if its the best for your son and he gains a lot of positive experience from people who know and understand autism then i am sure he will be fine, Highland schools have now broken up and i have p signed on to Hapi play scheme, a local charity that offers play schemes for children on Autism and they collect them on a bus and take them swimming and to farms etc, its for p to experience life without us and try to learn some independence,it will be hard packing him off on a bus with strangers, so i can feel for you putting your son to residential school, i do hope you and him get the very best from it and i am sure he will inderstand in his way that you are and always will be his mum.

[madme]

Just to say my son boards. I miss him so much when he is away. The only thing that keeps me going is that in some ways it is doing him good. I know in my heart that he couldn't cope at the local schools and so it must be the best decision for him, however hard it is for me. And you do have those holidays! I pick mine up this week for 9 weeks. Sad as I am I'm looking forward to cookng him his favourite meal and doing his washing! It doesnt get easier - you just find ways to deal with it! Avoid his bedroom for the first few weeks- I found myself unable to stop the tears at those moments. We have to let go to let them grow.

[Enid]

Just to say my son boards. I miss him so much when he is away. The only thing that keeps me going is that in some ways it is doing him good. I know in my heart that he couldn't cope at the local schools and so it must be the best decision for him, however hard it is for me. And you do have those holidays! I pick mine up this week for 9 weeks. Sad as I am I'm looking forward to cookng him his favourite meal and doing his washing! It doesnt get easier - you just find ways to deal with it! Avoid his bedroom for the first few weeks- I found myself unable to stop the tears at those moments. We have to let go to let them grow.

[Enid]

Hi, I remember posting you a few months ago when we were both having awful problems with our sons, I went through a good patch for a few months, but boy am I having a rough time now, I probably wont be far behind you, and as we are thinking of moving back "up north" to be near family and services, might actually be nearer than you think!! I know the decision you have taken is sooo hard but none of us would take it without an alternative, I too have other kids and its so hard for them, you know deep down you have made the right decision for all the family, day at a time is my advice, 40 mins is nothing, you can be up there in no time if need be. Will be thinking of you and yours <'> Enid

[hassleabe]

Hi, I remember posting you a few months ago when we were both having awful problems with our sons, I went through a good patch for a few months, but boy am I having a rough time now, I probably wont be far behind you, and as we are thinking of moving back "up north" to be near family and services, might actually be nearer than you think!! I know the decision you have taken is sooo hard but none of us would take it without an alternative, I too have other kids and its so hard for them, you know deep down you have made the right decision for all the family, day at a time is my advice, 40 mins is nothing, you can be up there in no time if need be. Will be thinking of you and yours <'> Enid

thank you for the repys sat here crying at min lol......

[loobylou2]

<'> Must be so sad for you. Take care and remember that what you are doing is for the best. <'>

[bikemad]

Aaawww hun. Try to keep in mind that it is because you are doing the best for ya lad. <'>

[pookie170]

Aw, hon, this must be so hard for you, and I can only echo what the others here have said- you're doing it for him and I'm sure he'll benefit from it. Make sure the school knows how he's feeling, (I'm sure he won't be the first OR the last!) as they'll be able to keep an eye on it and hopefully help him realise why he's there.....

I may well be in your shoes this time next year-I've only just visited a prospective resi school for my lads higher education, and while I think it's gonna be the one we fight for him to go to, I feel sick at the thought of him going....it's such a terrible quandary, but I think you're doing the right thing. Better to give it a go than sit years later thinking, 'what if...?'

Hope it goes well, and have a <'> from me

 

Take care.

 

Esther x

[hev]

you and your boy will be ok,you wont think you will but you will,i never thought in a million years i would stop crying when steve went to residesi but i did and its the best thing for him and us as a family,thats not to say i dont still have my funny days where i miss him loads but it has got easier,he comes home wkends and holidays,if you ever need to pm me dont hesitate,i know what you are going through and its a heartbreaking decision <'> <'> i used to ring bagpuss crying so i hope i can be there for you if you need me cos it helps so much talking to people and writing on the forum

[Zosmum]

Don't know what to say to you to help, sorry, so sending loads of hugs

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[hassleabe]

you and your boy will be ok,you wont think you will but you will,i never thought in a million years i would stop crying when steve went to residesi but i did and its the best thing for him and us as a family,thats not to say i dont still have my funny days where i miss him loads but it has got easier,he comes home wkends and holidays,if you ever need to pm me dont hesitate,i know what you are going through and its a heartbreaking decision <'> <'> i used to ring bagpuss crying so i hope i can be there for you if you need me cos it helps so much talking to people and writing on the forum

 

thanks hev over the past few months have read your posts knowing that i was goin to be in the same situation soon ....he as today and yesterday been tricking me into believng he doesnt want to go ...he took great delight in making me cry saying he was goin to miss me and cant live without me then today he told someone guess what tricked my mum and make her cry grrrrrrrrrrrrr monkey

[Enid]

Hi, is your boy going to a boarding school as in weekly, or a residential as in 52 wks? just wanting to know as will probably be going the same way shortly!!! Enid

[hassleabe]

Hi, is your boy going to a boarding school as in weekly, or a residential as in 52 wks? just wanting to know as will probably be going the same way shortly!!! Enid

 

hes going weekly but education class it as 38 weeks which means they get out of paying for taxis just beginning of term and end but finally after 8 months of fighting everyone socail services have said they are paying for him to come home on a weekend and one day a week so he can see his rabbits (his obsession he shows and breeds them) they are also going to pay for respite 1 nite a week in the school over the summer holidays ....about time they gave us something as we have had no help from them in 8 months even when the police were involved every week ....

[Suze]

Hi , I,m sure they will introduce him slowly into school and take the utmost care of him <'> , maybe you could pack him some special things from home to take to school, maybe do a photo board of family with messages on it for him, can he take his own bedding/pillow from home?..........feel for you it must be so hard, take care suzex <'>

[Flora]

I know exactly what you are going through <'>

 

My son started at a residential school after the Easter holidays. He is there monday to friday, with a taxi picking him up monday mornings and dropping him home on friday afternoons.

 

It's very hard. I knew it was the right place for him, but was overwhelmed with guilt and I do miss him:( I fought for a long time to secure the funding for my son to go to this school and it can only be described as bitter sweet when we finally won.

 

It may take some time for your son to settle in. My son still gets homesick but it's getting easier all the time and Fridays are lovely when he comes bounding into the house when his taxi drops him off. Last night I drove over to take him to pizza hut. He brought 3 friends with him (two support workers came along too). I sat on one table with the support workers, and the 4 boys sat on another. The best feeling for me was seeing him laughing and joking with THREE friends. I drove home last night with a real feeling of hope for his future. When he first started at the school he was determined that he 'didn't want to make any friends'. Now he has a group of lovely friends and it all happened very naturally.

 

It's a sacrifice, but if it's the right school, it's one worth making.

 

Flora X

[hassleabe]

I know exactly what you are going through <'>

 

My son started at a residential school after the Easter holidays. He is there monday to friday, with a taxi picking him up monday mornings and dropping him home on friday afternoons.

 

It's very hard. I knew it was the right place for him, but was overwhelmed with guilt and I do miss him:( I fought for a long time to secure the funding for my son to go to this school and it can only be described as bitter sweet when we finally won.

 

It may take some time for your son to settle in. My son still gets homesick but it's getting easier all the time and Fridays are lovely when he comes bounding into the house when his taxi drops him off. Last night I drove over to take him to pizza hut. He brought 3 friends with him (two support workers came along too). I sat on one table with the support workers, and the 4 boys sat on another. The best feeling for me was seeing him laughing and joking with THREE friends. I drove home last night with a real feeling of hope for his future. When he first started at the school he was determined that he 'didn't want to make any friends'. Now he has a group of lovely friends and it all happened very naturally.

 

It's a sacrifice, but if it's the right school, it's one worth making.

 

Flora X

i hope it goes as well here ..he as spent the day there today and a couple of hours at the resi side tonite he came home and said he cant wait to go as he as realised what an awful life he as here and how much better it is there ..i know hes trying to make me feel guilty but he as said such hurtful stuff tonite...we are trying so hard not to ite or wind him up cos we dont want him to have a meltdown in a way i will be so glad when its sunday (now i feel awful for saying it )

[Bagpuss]

Hassleabe, I can't imagine how you must be feeling <'>