Siblings/homework......I feel quite shocked and sad really

[Sooze2]

Ive just done writing homework with one of my twins who's 5 and in reception. She wrote 4 lines telling the teacher where she goes for a walk in the woods. It took about 5 minutes. She then drew a picture of the woods and river. I helped her spell a lot of the words and used both phonics and letter names but she was great, no fussing, no tantrums.................. which brings me to my point.

 

DS is 8 - 9 in October. He takes at least 10 minutes usually a lot more to think of a sentence which usually has 3 - 4 words. I then have to make a sentence up for him because he refuses to extend them to use more words. I then have to spell every word using phonics because he refuses to recognise letter names. I have to remind him to use finger spaces, capital letters and full stops every time! This can take a very long time with intervals of tanrums, crying, falling off the chair, dropping the pencil, breaking the pencil me leaving the room to go outside for a fag so I don't ring his neck.................... are you getting the picture yet.. Editing to say that this is just the first sentence, he has to do 8 - with spellings!

 

He is said to be very bright, I thought it would happend but didn't realise how quickly my daughters are catching up with him. I don't and haven't done much work with them up until recently because I always thought it was my fault he reacted like he did. Feel very guilty I have done this. How come his teachers have always said he hasn't got a problem up untill this school year!!!!

 

I feel quite sad...................

Edited July 1, 2008 by Sooze2

[oxgirl]

Grrrrrrrrrrrr, homework!!

On Sunday my lad (who is 14 by the way, 1 ..... 4 count 'em!! ) had a bit of homework to copy out a few lines onto some paper. He spent most of the morning wailing and flinging his book across the room, screwing up bits of paper, scribbling and crying and still hadn't got it done by lunchtime. In the afternoon he sat down to try and get it finished and started all over again! FINALLY got it done halfway through the afternoon. He managed to drag out a simple piece of work that should only have taken about 20 minutes so that it lasted practically all day, gave himself a migraine and sulked for the rest of the evening. He never seems to learn that if he'd only sit down quietly and GET ON WITH IT that it could be done and he could then go off and do something else. Instead, he sits there torturing himself with thoughts of all the things he'd rather be doing and makes it last all day!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

~ Mel ~

[KarenT]

Don't get me started. We had the weekend from Hell with Literacy homework. He had to write a short letter about why the zoo should be kept open and by the time I'd helped him plan it, built in rest breaks, dragged ideas out of him to bullet point for later, made them into sentences etc etc... it took three hours. He'd actually started grumping about it at bedtime on Friday night because he was dreading it so much. We've worked so hard on homework and have written plans and structure for how we do it - same time every week, reward driven, big family movie night for completing it on time, plus a Sunday day out with the family to show that we can do fun things when we use our time sensibly - yet it's this hard every bleedin' week. Going to have words with his teacher in September, see if we can come up with something they can do to help - I seem to be doing it all at the moment and we're not getting very far.

 

Deepest sympathies, I know exactly what you mean and I'm sure there are loads more in the same boat.

 

Karen

x

[sesley]

oh loverly homework an extension of school work p is off the national curriculum they can't get him to do what they want him to do he gets and he and he hits out when he can't get his own way and can't control and manipulate the way he wants,so writing, he gets help for scripting and because he see's the teacher not writing it in his mind perfect, he demands its screwed up and in the bin,if the computer does not print out the image perfectly,he gets the same at home i script for him ,if he does it he takes ages rubbing out making a horrible mess and gets even more and i end up getting no where so now i split the homework up over days over breakfast and play hangman with him to spell his word get him to make a sentence from the word i script the sentence barring the word he has to spell,it works he does it no no

[Sooze2]

oh loverly homework an extension of school work p is off the national curriculum they can't get him to do what they want him to do he gets and he and he hits out when he can't get his own way and can't control and manipulate the way he wants,so writing, he gets help for scripting and because he see's the teacher not writing it in his mind perfect, he demands its screwed up and in the bin,if the computer does not print out the image perfectly,he gets the same at home i script for him ,if he does it he takes ages rubbing out making a horrible mess and gets even more and i end up getting no where so now i split the homework up over days over breakfast and play hangman with him to spell his word get him to make a sentence from the word i script the sentence barring the word he has to spell,it works he does it no no

 

 

PMSL - you said it better than me!! Hugs <'>

[sesley]

if you can chill <'> your doing a good job

[Zosmum]

Hi All

In our house homework seems to be the biggest swear word ever. I've given up.

If Z isn't in the mood for it then we risk being stabbed with the pen or pencil, so I told school if it's done consider it a bonus but I'm nt putting the rest of us at risk of anything just for a bit of homework

 

Sending you hugs

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Bard]

I hate giving homework, and I really hate marking it.

I'd make it optional in Primary...here's the work if you want it.

I'd rather give a list of stuff they should be practising this term for parents who want to help their children at home: tables,

spelling list of common words, basic science, tying laces and making things.

Not compulsory.

 

edit: too knackered to spell

Edited July 1, 2008 by Bard

[Bard]

And I've just thought, if teachers sent home the normal expectations for the year group as optional tasks, it would give the parents an idea of how difficult their children would find the work, and then you'd know what was going on wouldn't you?

And if your child was managing what the standard child their age could.

Or not.

Or am I babbling?

 

Stream of consciousness typing going on here.

 

If everything is differentiated, how will a parent know their child is in the lower ability set and not average?

Because if you set work within the child's capacity, then the parent might not realise that other children are doing much more challenging work. And how much does that matter?

Or is it more important that the child is happy and feels that they are doing well?

 

Brain overheating...going for a cuppa.

Edited July 1, 2008 by Bard

[pearl]

However cr*p I am feeling, and however cr*p JP is feeling, we thank God every day that we no longer have homework.

 

The only comparable thing now is helping him with job applications, which is a breeze by comparison.

No help for you at the mo I know, but it does end <'>

[Sooze2]

That sounds like a great idea Bard. I think they should get homework that THEY can do rather than the parents to be honest, surely it should be based on the things they have beeing doing at school just to see if theyve understood the lessons and to reinforce it! Rather than my year 3 boy getting year 4 homework and me having to do it all for him like this weeks maths (oops I mean numeracy - lucky DS didn't hear that!) especialy. If he had been doing this work at school he would have known what to do surely!!!! But that is silly of me really, its not his teachers fault its him isn't it - I seriousely mean that becasue she is really nice and understanding.

 

I wrote the teacher a note a few months ago saying that homework was becoming such a stressful issue for me that I wouldn't be doing it with him anymore and suggested they start a homework club at school! She took it in good humor which is how it was meant but half of me meant it and hoped they would start that club!

 

I think its important that the child feels they are doing well and should get work according to ability, the teachers should have home/school books to report the real stuff like how the child is ACTUALLY doing IMO. BUT DS is very very bright but can't record those thoughts to make it show which is where everyone, teacher, child, parent is frustrated

 

I wish you taught at our school Bard.

 

Sorry, an essay again!

Edited July 1, 2008 by Sooze2

[bikemad]

O gawd-homeowrk is like a swear word in ds's vocab-he hates it bigtime.

[Kazzen161]

I was talking about homework with the Head of the school where I am a Governor, and she didn't think children should get homework. Our parent questionnaire showed that most parents thought their children got the right amount of homework, but some thought they should get more!

 

Primary aged children should only get x minutes of homework per night/week, so if they are taking too long, then you should let your child stop and just write a note on the homework to say they spent x minutes on it. If you don't let the teacher know of any problems, then they will get the wrong impression.

[Enid]

Hi All

In our house homework seems to be the biggest swear word ever. I've given up.

If Z isn't in the mood for it then we risk being stabbed with the pen or pencil, so I told school if it's done consider it a bonus but I'm nt putting the rest of us at risk of anything just for a bit of homework

 

Sending you hugs

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

I`ll second that, Enid

[Suze]

Hi sooze, just wanted to say I understand completely <'> , my boy/daughter have a similar age gap and at that age it was obvious the differences in them , especially regarding homework.My daughter loved doing it for a start .

 

..........anyways things got soooo bad with it at about the age of 8/9 that I told/begged school not to give him anymore as there was nooo point , it was turning him off the idea of writing all together!My boy is dyslexic also , has a very slow writing , and a poor understanding of vocabulary etc so doing spellings at home was a complete waste ...........as he would destroy his book and have a meltdown and invariably never get it all done.The school listened and the last years at primary he did,nt have written homework.Sometimes he would have stuff to do/look up on the computer which he coped with.He,s at high school now and any extra work/ homework is done in special free periods he has with support staff to help him.This has been a huge help for me as it has taken so much tension out of our home.Best of luck sooze , I,d have a word with school see if they can lay off all the written work , give him and you a breather. <'>

[Flora]

And I've just thought, if teachers sent home the normal expectations for the year group as optional tasks, it would give the parents an idea of how difficult their children would find the work, and then you'd know what was going on wouldn't you?

And if your child was managing what the standard child their age could.

Or not.

Or am I babbling?

 

Stream of consciousness typing going on here.

 

If everything is differentiated, how will a parent know their child is in the lower ability set and not average?

Because if you set work within the child's capacity, then the parent might not realise that other children are doing much more challenging work. And how much does that matter?

Or is it more important that the child is happy and feels that they are doing well?

 

Brain overheating...going for a cuppa.

 

Oooh bard, this is so spot on. This has been a gripe of mine for a long time. Yes the work should be differentiated obviously, but it really would help if parents were made fully aware of the level that would be expected for a child of that age!

 

I think it's important that the child is happy and feels that they are achieving, but I think it's equally also important that parents are aware how far behind their child is.

 

I can see why in some cases it could be a disaster though. I have a friend with a 10 yo son. He goes to an accademicaly ambitious private Junior school so the kids are already working ahead of the curriculum for their age. Her son gets loads of homework but if he gets any of it wrong she makes him do it again. I think this is awful poor little guy is doing well but you can just see she's storing up problems for herself for when he gets older. He's only in year 5! She was telling me that he had done his homework at school the other week and had already handed it in (probably to avoid the inquisition!). She went to see the teacher to ask if she could check he'd done it 'properly' because if not she'd take it home with them and make him do it again..Apparently the teacher looked at it (without showing it to my friend) and told her 'Mrs xxxx, this is absolutely fine, he doesn't have to do it again'. The teacher is obviously on to her.

 

Anway, I'm rambling. Basically, for parents who want to hot house their kids, being made aware of their child being behind their class mates could be a problem. But for us 'normal' parents who just want to be fully aware of the facts, I would like to be fully aware of how far behind my child is.

 

Flora

[fiorelli]

We don't get to see L's homework, or reading book, or find out what spellings he has, or find out what he's doing in class, or find out what he's done well in, or find out what spelling test results were, or find out what he's found difficulty with, despite asking for a quick note in his home/resi/school diaries. Apparently 'Another perfect day', 'another day in paradise', 'great week again', 'he's cooperated well with staff and peers' are all we - his parents - need to know... We don't even get the courtesy of a phone call when he's hurt his ankle and been taken to hospital to have it looked at, or be told that he went under the water at swimming and had a life-guard pull him out - I get these bits in an 'Oh, by the way...Before L tells you...' when I phone to speak to him of an evening while he is in resi... (sorry, bit of a rant there)

 

 

 

Anyway, yes, it is becoming abundantly clear how behind L is compared to his brothers. L is 10 in September. Will be going into year 5. He is being taught his 2, 5 and 10 times tables (by rote I might add, apparently, he doesn't need to know that 2x5=10, or 2x10=20 - 2,4,6,8,10....is all he needs to learn to be marked as 'knowing' his tables....sorry, off I went again).

 

His 8 year old brother (P) is in year 3. He knows all his number bond stories inside and out, he knows his 2,5,10 times tables inside and out, and knows his 3's by rote, and is working on learning them out of sequence. His spelling isn't great, but it is age appropriate, and is much more advanced than L's.

 

His 6 year old brother (M) is in year 1. He knows all his number bond stories inside and out, and is getting tested on them today/tomorrow with a view to going onto his times tables next week. His spelling is really good. - L can't spell most of M's spellings.

 

There is definately a clear distinction now between L's learning and his brothers'. As the weeks go past, the gap is gradually getting larger, and L is starting to realise himself, causing all sorts of self-esteem issues.

 

Why is nothing ever easy?

Edited July 2, 2008 by fiorelli

[Sooze2]

We don't even get the courtesy of a phone call when he's hurt his ankle and been taken to hospital to have it looked at, or be told that he went under the water at swimming and had a life-guard pull him out - I get these ######-bits in an 'Oh, by the way...Before L tells you...' when I phone to speak to him of an evening while he is in resi... (sorry, bit of a rant there)

 

Oh my god, that's awful isn't it!!! <'> <'>

 

 

Anyway I think a group <'> is in order here. I thought I was alone in this and that I was just doing it all wrong!! DH isn't interested so I'm alone at home and drive myself mad with it all. Thanks so much for replying, youhave really made a difference to how I feel about myself. <'>

[BusyLizzie100]

Hi All

In our house homework seems to be the biggest swear word ever. I've given up.

If Z isn't in the mood for it then we risk being stabbed with the pen or pencil, so I told school if it's done consider it a bonus but I'm nt putting the rest of us at risk of anything just for a bit of homework

 

Sending you hugs

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Yes, yes yes!!

 

<'> <'> <'> <'>

[dooday24]

i have the same problem with reece he just will not do anything to do with school at home and he was having major meltdowns all weekend in the end i spoke to the school as i was loosing out on quallity time with the children and he ruined the weekend for everyone..

and he hasnt done homework now since last sept....

 

love donnaxxxx