W.W.Y.D?

[bikemad]

My 94 year old nan has been taken into hosptial for observation cos she hasnt kept food down for days n what she does bring up aint just food itms-my dad is really worried. My grandfather(86)has also been ill n has cancer n is waiting for treatment. My dad didnt want to say before now but he said my nan rung him the other day to ask him if he could get funerals arranged for both her n my grandad cos she dont feel they have long left!!!!!!!!!!

 

Ds dotes on them both so dont know wether to tell him or not cos he will end up in tears n worry himself silly over it(he has a phobia of death). He said to me the other weekend when he saw my nan he dont want her to die n began crying.

[mossgrove]

My 94 year old nan has been taken into hosptial for observation cos she hasnt kept food down for days n what she does bring up aint just food itms-my dad is really worried. My grandfather(86)has also been ill n has cancer n is waiting for treatment. My dad didnt want to say before now but he said my nan rung him the other day to ask him if he could get funerals arranged for both her n my grandad cos she dont feel they have long left!!!!!!!!!!

 

Ds dotes on them both so dont know wether to tell him or not cos he will end up in tears n worry himself silly over it(he has a phobia of death). He said to me the other weekend when he saw my nan he dont want her to die n began crying.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

I am sorry you are having to go through this.

 

 

When people think they may be getting to the end of their lives they can often be more worried about those that will be left behind than they are about themselves. Plenty of reassurance that you have everything sorted and (even if it is not the case!) there will be enough money to pay for a decent funeral when the time comes whether it be quite soon or a long way in the future, and that whatever happens sorting things out after they have gone will not be a burden may help.

 

You should also ask about speaking to a MacMillan Nurse, they help familes as well as patients and will be able to talk to you about what might happen to your grandfather.

 

Simon

[SarahSH]

Very sorry to hear about your nan and grandad, bikemad - must be tough for all of you.

 

My guess is, your son already knows and that's why he asked last weekend. Yes he'll be very upset but it's not something you can hide from him - he'll pick up on your sadness anyway.

 

Not easy but think he does need sitting down with and talking to about it - that's just my view, anyway.

 

Take care,

Sarah

[pearl]

Really sorry you are going through this bikemad.

I've no advice I'm afraid - JP will be in bits when my mum goes

[oxgirl]

I agree with Sarah, bikemad. It will be frightening and upsetting for your lad, but it's probably best to be open and honest about the situation, without going into too many details. If he's kept informed about how she and your granfather are doing then he'll be more prepared to deal with it if the worst were to happen and it might come as less of a shock. So sorry you're having to go through his, I know it isn't easy. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[JsMum]

Hi, some of these <'> for you and your DS as its obvously going to be a very emotional time for you both, time and honesty is going to be the best I can advise, god bless you and I will pray for your grandparents.

 

Hugs again, and have as many as you like just post, you know were we all are if you need us. <'>

 

A website I use with J a lot is kids health, there is a bit about how to cope with someone who dies for the parents too, but the site has a got section for the kids, may help in prepare what to share, hope it helps.

 

 

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/death.html

 

JsMum

Edited July 9, 2008 by JsMum

[KarenT]

Sorry to hear this bikemad. That's a lot to be dealing with in one go. Sending thoughts your way.

 

Karen

x

[Cariad]

Death hit T really bad when his grandad died last year, he was 58 years old. They did everything together and they were very close. He started fantasising about death and wanted to jump in front of a car.. It was a tough time..

 

We did get a diary and he did drawings of how he felt, and we had to keep a close eye on him as he "wanted to be with him and go to heaven".

 

Sorry this is all happening to you <'>

[bikemad]

Thank you so much for the comments and advice-the link is in favs n im going to get a diary cos I think that is the kind of thing that would work for ds.

 

Its like it all came at once.

 

He had a major blowout from school today so wont be doing it tonight lol try for tomorow for a chat.

[bikemad]

This l seem a stupid question but are aspergers/adhd kids more errrr intune as it were at picking up on stuff cos ds asked if she was ill over a week ago n the last 4 days she has been-seems odd he worked it out iykwim???

[Enid]

Oh how awful for you all, its probably as he is so close to them that he picked up on it, everything seems to come at once dosnt it, sending you <'> <'> <'> to you an yours. Enid

[bikemad]

Definatly comes at once!!! Had one of them days today lol. Ought to know more bout my nan tomorow morning but apparently she is in good spirits so fingers crossed she will be ok!!!

[Zosmum]

Don't realy know what to say-Sorry

Thinking of you <'> <'> <'> <'>

[bikemad]

Spoken to my dad today n they have sent my nan home after doing a load of tests-they have given her meds n are keeping an eye on her. My grandad is still very poorly. My auntie is over helping them out atm. She still wants my dad to look at funerals for them both tho.

[Frangipani]

Not sure what to say other than what has already been said.

 

Just sending you lots of these <'> <'> <'>

 

xx:(