Help for aspie in the playground

[saffronsunflower]

Hi all,

 

My son has just started P1 (Scotland) We kept him at nursery for an extra year while his additional support needs were being assessed. he is now 6 now has dx of Aspergers.

 

He is coping far better at school than we hoped with one exception, he is at a big school 600 pupils. On breaks and lunch they stagger the breaks so it's never too busy in playground but in the morning it's chaos.

 

My son gets very anxious and try as i can to distract him, he ends up very upset before going in due to the noise etc.

I have spoken to school head and asked if i could take him straight to class (on bad days) to avoid the anxiety laden line up, but they feel this would be open to manipulation and would continue.

 

Having spoken to class teacher she feels he settles very well after this period and seems to enjoy school, but this morning line up every day is upsetting him & breaking my heart leaving him either very very angry or upset.

 

I feel this is a very small allowance to make for a child with additional needs, should i push this more, does anyone else have similar experiences...

 

Any suggestions?

[Tally]

I don't get how this is "open to manipulation," and presumably it would be wise to continue this as long as is necessary. It is a very small allowance and seems completely reasonable.

[sueeltringham]

I think I would persue it further. It seems perfectly reasonable to me for him to go into the classroom first, maybe to do a 'job'. I would even push for it to be a routine on a regular basis until he is more settled! I think it's very unreasonable they've refused, and to do so means they are not understanding his problems/sensory issues/special needs at all. Have staff had autism awareness training? If they haven't maybe you could suggest it? Someone came into my sons school and all staff were trained. Part of this training involved flashing lights, playing music full blast, spraying smells and asking staff to complete a complex task. This helped to make staff realise how difficult classrooms, etc can be for children with ASD.

 

Hope you get a more positive response,

 

Sue

[oxgirl]

I don't understand the school's attitude on this, tbh. My lad had the same problem and in the end the teacher suggested I bring him in later than everyone else. By the time I brought Jay in, his class were sitting nicely on the carpet doing registration and it was no problem at all, I'd just bring him in quietly and he'd sit down in his special place and off I'd go. At break-times, the second the bell went one of Jay's army of little girl helpers would run and find Jay, grab him by the hand and take him straight inside to change his shoes for him whilst the rest of the classes were lining up outside in the playground. Then she'd take him straight to his TA who would stay with him outside of the classroom in a general shared area. Once all the other kids were in from break, shoes changed and sitting on the carpet, his TA would bring him in to join the class. Maybe I took this for granted at the time, but I'm sure it made an enormous difference to how he started sessions, because he didn't have to cope with all the hustle bustle and pushing and shoving, he always entered a classroom when it was calm and quiet and so he didn't get wound up. I would suggest this again to the teacher, I think it's very important for our children to start off calm and relaxed.

 

~ Mel ~

[chris54]

We had the opposite situating.At my sons new school. At break times they line up but in the morning it is a free for all.

 

To start with I would wait with A and go right into the classroom with him. The head emailed my to tell me that I could do this for as long as A needed the support.

After a few weeks A would go in on his own and with practice we get to school just as the rush is over.

 

A likes to line up as it gives him the sense of order.

Edited September 24, 2008 by chris54

[NickyB]

My DS has the same problem - it'a very small playground and it was really hard for him in the mornings. The teacher has now said that he can come into class early via the main door, which avoids the playground altogether. He's been doing this for the last couple of weeks, and it means that he doesn't start the day in an anxious state.

I really can't see the problem with this - as his teacher says, what's the point of setting him up to fail before the day has even started?

I'd go and see the head teacher and explain the sensory difficulty your son has. I really think they should be more aware of these issues.

 

Hope you get it sorted <'>

[JsMum]

J defo has difficulties with lining up, be that in school or doing other activities, in school he often was at the front of the line, or like others have said, J use to go into school later than the other children and leave the premisis early.

 

I too do not understand why the school are been obstructive, if he gets visually upset, distressed, angry then they should be working towards reasonable adjustments to accomadate your son's emotional and mental health.

 

I would write a letter to express your concerns and what you would like to be implimented, first go to the Headteacher, then the chair of govenors and if your still finding it difficult to address your sons SENs then write to the SEN department of your local Council.

 

Even in schools where I didnt find them very understanding, still knew J had great difficulties with lining up and made allowances, so it can be done.

 

I dont think any teacher should under estimate the effects of anxiety either, its a very debilitating condition and every effert should be made to ensure a child is feeling comfortable and reasured, Im sure thats in there aims as a school and propbably advertise that on their website or prospectus.

 

JsMum

[pookie170]

My eldest attended mainstream from P1 to P2, and likewise, could not cope with the line-up process. In the end, I basically told the school that I'd be taking him in via the front door,which they acquiesced to....I think the fact he started lashing out at the other kids helped with this though!

 

Something that may help while you're 'bringing them round' to your way of thinking could be the use of earplugs to baffle the noise, or alternatively, don't take him into the playground until it's going in time.

But I agree, pursue the matter, it's a tiny thing and it's most unreasonable of the Head not to accomodate your son's needs in this manner.

 

Esther x

[KateBall]

My ds too had difficulties with lining up. The school were however prepared to work on it - sometimes taking him in, often allowing him to be at the front (which helped a bit). He gradually got better but still finds it a bit troubling. I think it is part of his disability and it should be addressed and not ignored.

You may also find interesting the fact that my ds OT suggested that giving him something heavyish to carry in the queue - eg a box of things - would distract him (giving him a responsible thing to do I suppose and a focus - ie carry this box carefully don't drop it and keep it upright) and apparently has been found to help in other cases. Not sure if its been implemented at school yet don't think so couldn't tell you but it was an interesting concept.

[Zosmum]

Z used to have these kinds of problems at primary so it was suggested for her to have someone as a point of contact. I would take her to school then she would go straight to her point of contact, completely avoiding the playground. This person would then take her to class just after everyone else had gone in.

Now she's at secondary school where they have an early morning contact group for kids who can't handle the outside hustle and bustle. The kids are dropped off at school but instead of waiting outside they have a room just inside school where they wait, with supervision from a TA, until everyone else has come into school before they have to go to their form rooms. It really helps Z.

Maybe you could suggest something similar, there must be other kids in the school who would benefit from this. But be sure to mention that you go through a main entance door and not a door on the playground(if that's possible)

 

Good Luck

[LittleRae]

Hi Saffonsunflower. Welcome to the forum.

 

Just wondering, does he hate the lining up, or just where he is in the line? My DS always had to be at the end of the line - it was years later before we discovered that he could line up, but hated having anyone standing behind him.

 

If school don't want to co-operate with you, just take him in 5 mins late every morning & say nothing about it.

 

Good luck

[barb]

Hi Saffonsunflower. Welcome to the forum.

 

Just wondering, does he hate the lining up, or just where he is in the line? My DS always had to be at the end of the line - it was years later before we discovered that he could line up, but hated having anyone standing behind him.

 

If school don't want to co-operate with you, just take him in 5 mins late every morning & say nothing about it.

 

Good luck

 

 

in my sons school they have the photos of the kids on the wall and asked my son where he would like to line up, once he chose where he wanted to be he seemed ok with it, sometimes its just the smallish of things that need to be understood

[alisonatt]

my son also has problems with lining up, so what his class teacher has done is put all the children in different groups and all given a number for which is the number they are in the line, my son is in line blue and is number three in line so he knows he is always in blue line and is number 3 in line and touch wood he seems to be alright with that it helps him know where he is and it makes him get the routine he love.I would have a chat with your sons school see if you can come up with any ideas, cos surely its better for the school that your son goes into school happy then stressed and upset, the school need to undertand that what works with other children does not mean it will work for your son.

[bikemad]

We had to go see the teacher bout this the other day....my son has sensory issues and the O/T has told the school he has to be either the 1st in line or last in line, might be worth speaking to your local o/t as it sounds like my lad with lining up. <'>

[saffronsunflower]

Hi all,

 

Many thanks for all your replies, glad that i'm you all confirmed for me that i am right to push for a small allowance to be made.

 

I think i'm just anxious about having to be pushy so early on, week 3 here in scotland....

I had naively believed that at a "good mainstream school" with experience of aspergers that i woudn't have to feel awkward about making special requests.

 

He is doing so well apart from the line and all the things i thought i may have to do such as picking him up at lunchtime everyday, haven't been needed as he as adapted pretty well.

 

I must say that the comment about it being open to manipulation really got my back up at the time, sometimes is hard to tell when it's justified or feeling protective. I'm sure you more experienced parents of asd kids will remember the strange state that is a new diagnosis when you are still trying to come to terms with it all.

 

Thank you all again

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I live in Scotland too. My son is nearly 7 and has AS. Whilst I think my son's mainstream school could do better, I'm also aware we could do a lot worse. I have however, had to be very pushy. I'm fully aware that I've been labelled a 'troublesome parent' because I ask a lot of questions. Obviously schools have limited budgets and have a whole school full of kids to cater for, not just one - but my son is my priority and I won't apologise for asking questions when I feel like I'm being kept in the dark. Recently I discovered that my son has not had the 25 hours support that I was told he'd been receiving (I've got it in writing). In fact, the support was shared between another two kids, therefore he's actually only received 1/3 of that! Needless to say, I'm having to be careful about not going mad, despite being furious. Instead, I've pointed out to them that I feel they've failed my son by not providing the support they said they had and as a result I'm distrustful of them and have lost the confidence that comes with trust. Guess, that's my long-winded way of advising you that you may have to be pushy to ensure your child gets the support he needs and deserves.

 

For what it's worth, I think it's dreadful that they school are not making necessary allowances for your child ie allowing him to avoid lining up. Whilst I think it's important to try it, it's also important to recognise when it's not working. Mainstream schooling and inclusion are something that we hear so much about, yet there are lots of problems, which are mainly to do with staff knowing little or nothing about autism.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[bikemad]

I wouldnt worry bout being too pushy..im known for it round here lol...the teachers dread seeing me come up the drive cos they know what im like. Your child has you n only you to push for them so push as hard as you want to.

[jonathan]

We had to go see the teacher bout this the other day....my son has sensory issues and the O/T has told the school he has to be either the 1st in line or last in line, might be worth speaking to your local o/t as it sounds like my lad with lining up. <'>

HI

I totally agree with you my son has aspergers and in the early stages of school the teacher always

placed him at the front or at the back of the line as he couldn't stand the noise or the pushing and shoving also in class they always let him sit approx a foot away from the other kids this helped to

relax him and now at age nine and with the same child he has grown up with he doesn't care

where he stands and laughs and jokes with the other kids so PLEASE push the teachers on letting him

in early or as suggested front or back of the line, this will help him feel relaxed and make school

a better place rather than a place of anxiety for him, I wish you a lot of luck!!