Tally Report post Posted December 30, 2008 If I tell someone, then I have to go through with it this time. I am sick of everything. I am sick of the ex not leaving me alone and doing stupid things and making outrageous claims. I am sick of my job. I hate it and everyone hates me now. I want to walk out and never go back, though I can't do that yet. I hate working so hard to look after myself and after all this time I still have nothing to show for it. So I am selling my house and going back to live with my parents. I won't stay there forever, eventually I will get my own place near to them, but I plan to stay with them for 6 months to a year. I have to buy before the house prices start going back up. I am going to get a part time job. I hope to work 3 nights a week in a supermarket. That is what I do now and I like working nights. I am going to do some voluntary work at a cat rescue centre, and do a distance learning course on Cat Behaviour. Living nearer to London will give me more opportunities to join some kind of social group with other autistic adults, as there is nothing here. I am actually going to do it. I wish I'd done it before, but I couldn't see a way forward at that time. I couldn't imagine getting a new job or anything. I can now, and I can see a lot of positive reasons for doing this. It's really scary, but it feels like the right thing to do. I have to arrange a Home Information Pack, but it's the holidays and the solicitors are not in their offices. As soon as I have it arranged I can call the estate agent and get it on the market. It could take forever to sell, but hopefully it won't, because I am ready to pack up and leave now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
something_different Report post Posted December 30, 2008 hope everything goes well for u Tally Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickyB Report post Posted December 30, 2008 Best of luck with everything Tally Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGeek Report post Posted December 30, 2008 Good luck Tally, I hope that things go well for you. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted December 30, 2008 Hi Tally - really really hope it all works out for you. Tread carefully with the house sale etc - as you say. timing will be crucial when you take the plunge again Distance Course on cat behaviour - they do what they want when they want L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stella63 Report post Posted December 30, 2008 Wow Tally!! That comes across as a really positive step forward and I think you are very brave <'> <'> Make sure you get some good advice for selling your place, it can be a very stressful time and you need to be in control and know what is happening the whole time. Make sure you post regularly so we can all 'move' with you and give you whatever support you need. Stella xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted December 30, 2008 I am going to get a part time job. I hope to work 3 nights a week in a supermarket. That is what I do now and I like working nights. I am going to do some voluntary work at a cat rescue centre, and do a distance learning course on Cat Behaviour. Living nearer to London will give me more opportunities to join some kind of social group with other autistic adults, as there is nothing here. I don't know how close you will be to London, but I know the people who lead a number of the adult social/support groups so could put you in touch. I'm personally not involved although I've been asked to go repeatedly, as I'm not quite ready to make that step yet, but they might be able to help or know someone who can. Again, don't know where you'll be, but have you thought about Battersea dogs and cats home - I'm pretty sure they would want volunteers and it's very easy to get to from most areas. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted December 30, 2008 Wow. New year, new start One step at a time. And remember to breathe <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted December 30, 2008 Tally <'> Good luck with it all and wherever you go remember we're still here. The ex sounds like poison and it will be a weight off your mind once you're away from him. I didn't know you could do courses in cat behaviour - sounds like fun. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted December 30, 2008 Tally, Sometimes when things get to that level of being intollerable you just have no choice for your own sanity but to cut loose. I've done it myself in the past, when I had the luxury of only having me to be responsible for (not so easy with 3 children!!). For what it's worth, if your way of life is making you so unhappy I think you have absolutely made the right choice to make radical changes. Very best of luck with all your new plans. And here's to a very peaceful, fullfilling and happy 2009 for you (and all of us for that matter). Flora XXXXXXXXXX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted December 30, 2008 Tally.I hope things work out well with all of the changes in the coming year.Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billabong Report post Posted December 31, 2008 Another 'wow' - good for you, Tally. It sounds as if what you are doing is for very good reasons and the changes you are making are well thought out. You'll probably get a few people telling you that you're mad but sometimes you've just got to do things for your own sanity. I left a job the other year and once I'd decided to hand in my notice, I wondered why I'd stuck with it so long when it was making me so miserable. Just making the decision can be enough to make you feel better. Take care and all the best, Billabong Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted December 31, 2008 I don't know how close you will be to London, but I know the people who lead a number of the adult social/support groups so could put you in touch. Yes please!!! It is in Battersea that I am hoping to get voluntary work. Alternatively there is the Cats Protection National Cat Centre in Haywards Heath. Neither of them are particularly close, but I will have more energy for the travelling since I will be working less hours. My mum's just quit teaching Economics and still takes a keen interest. I will be keeping an eye myself too. Since I will not have a house to sell, I could view several houses and be putting in offers within a week if I needed to. Either that or I could wait for the next recession, I'm sure my parents would be delighted Distance Course on cat behaviour - they do what they want when they want Ah, but soon I shall know WHY! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Enid Report post Posted December 31, 2008 Tally you go for it! Life is way way too short to just "get through" I too put my house on the market this year, even with 4 kids!, not sold it yet but am/will be moving to the other side of the country and living a completly different life, and will need a job, somewhere to keep all my many pets, chickens/tortoises/cats/dogs as well as the kids of course, I am excited but terrified but not bored and stagnating!!! go Tally Enid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted December 31, 2008 Wow ...Tally.....that's some plan, my advice go for it ! Wishing you lots of luck and I hope you find exactly what you are looking for. Please do keep us posted on your exciting new journey. Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 5, 2009 Does anyone know anything about Home Information Packs? Do they actually need to come to your house? I could just ring them and ask but I don't want to look like a div. The estate agent came today to take some photos and then another one came this afternoon to measure everything because they include floor plans on the details. She said it will be in the paper on Tuesday, but I think she means Tuesday week. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted January 5, 2009 Does anyone know anything about Home Information Packs? Do they actually need to come to your house? I could just ring them and ask but I don't want to look like a div. The estate agent came today to take some photos and then another one came this afternoon to measure everything because they include floor plans on the details. She said it will be in the paper on Tuesday, but I think she means Tuesday week. When I briefly had my house on the market last year, the estate agent organised the HIP by contacting a firm who they used to provide them. They then had to send a man out who looked at the lighbulbs, the radiator valves and stuff like that - as far as I know they can't do this over the phone (not suggesting anything but unscrupulous types might do something called 'lying'). Of course this was a different man (and therefore a different appointment) to the one for the photos, and the one for the measurements, and the one for... The estate agent should have asked what you're doing about your HIP as you'll either need one (which you obviously do) or you have an existing one (in which case they'd need it). If it was me then I'd give them a call and say that you need to arrange this, can they do it for you, what do you need to provide etc. (you can always say that you're asking so as to make life as easy for them as possible). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted January 5, 2009 Does anyone know anything about Home Information Packs? Do they actually need to come to your house? I could just ring them and ask but I don't want to look like a div. I'm glad I sold before these came out... This is the best info I could find. Looks like you have the choice of doing it yourself or getting someone to come and do it for you. If it were me and not to costly I would probably get someone to do it to save having to get lots of individuals to provide various bits. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 5, 2009 The estate agent offered to get one done for �300, but I found someone who will do it for �139. I have paid them and they have sent me a Confirmation of Order - so I am now legal to market the property. They said "we will be in touch as soon as the HIP is complete," but I can't see how they can do the Energy Performance Certificate without actually checking for things like double glazing, etc. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 5, 2009 Oh, but the good news is, I think the ex has a new obsession, I mean girlfriend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted January 10, 2009 Well Tally and Enid, I hope all goes well for both of you, may it go swiftly and smoothly. Good luck!! Esther x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 10, 2009 I've had a draft of the house details, which all look fine. The sign has gone up outside. It appeared yesterday. Someone rang me about the Energy Performance Certificate which is part of the HIP, and they are coming on Monday. Now all I need is a buyer. It will appear in the local paper on Tuesday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted January 10, 2009 Good luck, Tally! K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
