Gobsmacked

[Paula]

Im in shock

 

This morning my son.............15 of his own bat had a shower.............first time hes used the shower in over 4 years would insist on a bath and then only once a week due to the water hurting him if he showered.................he even used soap,he even run his dads razer round his face..............he has whiskers and normally i shave them of for him every week............he then sorted himself out when it came to drying himself ....againe i normally have to sort all that out...........then and i was in utter utter shock he put deodrant on..............unasked...............normally he refuses to do so says he hates it it smells and stings him...........and all hell breaks loose if i try to force the issue............he then put on fashionable jeans and a nice shirt..........he normally sits round in a raggy dressing gown............

 

 

I then entered his bedroom and hed made his bed,opened his window and put things away.

 

 

 

Im looking across at him now and yep its still my son hes not been replaced in the night.

 

 

Im not going to question him............as to why after years and years of me saying you need to shower,dress,deodarize ect and him going beserk why suddenly it all clicks and he does it.

 

 

Its been comeing on for the past few weeks gathering speed.

 

I guess eventually stuff clicks into place...............why does it take years though............I guess like all men hed to think it was his idea

 

 

 

[pearl]

quantum leap there

[baddad]

hmmm...

 

I wonder if the concept of 'girl' or 'girls' is starting to occur to him. It's amazing the impact just the idea of them can have...

Good news, though, girl related or otherwise, and the 'girl' thing is just an easy handle for 'wider understanding', IYKWIM. <'>

 

[bikemad]

Thats fantastic.....

[sonj186]

thats great!

 

mines only 6 and i think the body snatchers have replaced him! its much nicer when you dont have to go on and on and on! long may it last

[Paula]

Well the day continued in a good light..............we went into town together.............on me own as husband working..............he was cooperative in buying new jeans for himself.............said he wanted to be cool sylish.his sisters influence and whingeing finally hitting home............thn he went with me to a coffe place and low and behold he isnsited on going to the counter with me because..................the girl around 20 purple haire trendy pierced lip smiles at him he said..............suddenly it all falls in to place............typical shes had more influence with one smile..god help her shell learn hes now fixated on her.............than years of me whineing on.............he even insited on takeing the empty coffee cups back to the counter............i got me revenge though by saying shed got a fan he quickly exited shamed apparently be mum.

 

 

 

Onwards and upwards long may it continue...............i joked with me neighboure when she spotted hed got a bag with new items in i said its his relaunch into the world............last week and this is no lie he got his eyebrows waxed...........hed been helping me deliver leaflets for a freind who did waxing and other treatments and as payment i could choose anything of the list and coz hed helped he insisted he got something too...........hes spruceing him slef up...........lock up yer daughters.theres hope yet well marry him of

Edited April 19, 2009 by Paula

[shaz71]

Well the day continued in a good light..............we went into town together.............on me own as husband working..............he was cooperative in buying new jeans for himself.............said he wanted to be cool sylish.his sisters influence and whingeing finally hitting home............thn he went with me to a coffe place and low and behold he isnsited on going to the counter with me because..................the girl around 20 purple haire trendy pierced lip smiles at him he said..............suddenly it all falls in to place............typical shes had more influence with one smile..god help her shell learn hes now fixated on her.............than years of me whineing on.............he even insited on takeing the empty coffee cups back to the counter............i got me revenge though by saying shed got a fan he quickly exited shamed apparently be mum.

 

 

 

Onwards and upwards long may it continue...............i joked with me neighboure when she spotted hed got a bag with new items in i said its his relaunch into the world............last week and this is no lie he got his eyebrows waxed...........hed been helping me deliver leaflets for a freind who did waxing and other treatments and as payment i could choose anything of the list and coz hed helped he insisted he got something too...........hes spruceing him slef up...........lock up yer daughters.theres hope yet well marry him of

 

Hi my son also changed at about 15 nearly 16 he started to change his socks and clothes as well, lol, he has now gone from not changing and showering to changing like the weather which changes reglularly as we know and showering for about 20mins a time, which does a lot for elec bill definatley a girl thing.....At the ripe old age of nearly 18 though still as not mastered the art of tidying his bedroom, making his bed, opening his curtains or windows to let the smell out, but we might get somewhere eventually Sorry this is from a lad that isn't autistic Sharon x

[Karen A]

hmmm...

 

I wonder if the concept of 'girl' or 'girls' is starting to occur to him. It's amazing the impact just the idea of them can have...

Good news, though, girl related or otherwise, and the 'girl' thing is just an easy handle for 'wider understanding', IYKWIM. <'>

 

 

Yes I wondered about girls too.

Good news though.

 

[Karen A]

Well the day continued in a good light..............we went into town together.............on me own as husband working..............he was cooperative in buying new jeans for himself.............said he wanted to be cool sylish.his sisters influence and whingeing finally hitting home............thn he went with me to a coffe place and low and behold he isnsited on going to the counter with me because..................the girl around 20 purple haire trendy pierced lip smiles at him he said..............suddenly it all falls in to place............typical shes had more influence with one smile..god help her shell learn hes now fixated on her.............than years of me whineing on.............he even insited on takeing the empty coffee cups back to the counter............i got me revenge though by saying shed got a fan he quickly exited shamed apparently be mum.

 

 

 

Onwards and upwards long may it continue...............i joked with me neighboure when she spotted hed got a bag with new items in i said its his relaunch into the world............last week and this is no lie he got his eyebrows waxed...........hed been helping me deliver leaflets for a freind who did waxing and other treatments and as payment i could choose anything of the list and coz hed helped he insisted he got something too...........hes spruceing him slef up...........lock up yer daughters.theres hope yet well marry him of

 

See what I just said........Can you tell I have a thirteen year old son.

[Pippin]

"At the ripe old age of nearly 18 though still as not mastered the art of tidying his bedroom, making his bed, opening his curtains or windows to let the smell out, but we might get somewhere eventually"

 

Hubby still hasnt managed that one....never mind the kids!!

[Mandapanda]

My 15-year-old son wouldn't have a friend round at one time cos the friend smelled too bad (at that time Mj was showering once a week with relatively no probs). Later the friend started washing and my son almost stopped! He also refuses to use anything like deodorant and I don't think he uses soap or shampoo, just pretends. When I remind him how his friend used to smell he just shrugs. He's going to college in September and has said he needs to go and buy a whole load of new clothes, having only ever had one favourite outfit all his life! Maybe the washing will come when he's at college. When he was about 8 he turned round to me one day and said, accusingly, "mummy, why do you always give me fishfingers?" Why did I - because it was all he would eat for about 3 years!!!!!

 

[Paula]

 

 

Typical mandapanda

 

 

 

 

My son starts a week job experiance on monday at a local joiners theyve had kids from his school.........a special school before.My sons dead excited and hes to go for like a mock pretend interview tommorrow......hes announced hes wearing a shirt,clean jeans and shoes........i said you haveing a shower...............nope he said...........i thought typical so much for a new leaf a new start his relaunch into the world.............must only happen when hes of to particular coffee gaff with said eye candy for him

 

 

 

 

[Mandapanda]

 

 

[Paula]

Just thought there might be a young office junior at this place me sons of to today.............hell be kicking him self that he didnt shower then wont he...............

 

 

 

[Paula]

He did his first day of work experiance today and it went well.He was a bit shakey in the morning kicking of and being very controlling but i put this down to him fealing nervous and not realy knowing how to express this.

 

Of he went and i worried most of the day but i neednt have bothered he was full of it when he got home about how hed been out in the works van,how hed helped deliver stuff,clean up and lift things how hed had his packed lunch in the work place.

 

Hed had a good day and said the people were nice to him.

 

he looked dead grown up in his workmen boots............health and saftey said hed to wear steel toe cap ones........im a happy proud mum.

[NickyB]

He did his first day of work experiance today and it went well.He was a bit shakey in the morning kicking of and being very controlling but i put this down to him fealing nervous and not realy knowing how to express this.

 

Of he went and i worried most of the day but i neednt have bothered he was full of it when he got home about how hed been out in the works van,how hed helped deliver stuff,clean up and lift things how hed had his packed lunch in the work place.

 

Hed had a good day and said the people were nice to him.

 

he looked dead grown up in his workmen boots............health and saftey said hed to wear steel toe cap ones........im a happy proud mum.

 

 

[pearl]

Soooo glad it went well

[Kathryn]

That's great Paula - hope he continues to enjoy it!

 

K x

[Paula]

 

 

 

Spoke too soon...............i know hes stressed with the change of routine and even though on the surface hes enjoyed yesterday this m orning has been more hellish than normal.He was refuseing to get out of bed and ready,he wouldnt get dressed i was trying to gently coax him he was rtanting and raveing at me.Rightly or wrongly i lost me rag coz i couldnt take any of it anymore...............ive had a rotton few weeks not feeling well womens stuff.......dodgy test results follow up appointments ect realy worrying as this happened years ago and id to be treated .............anyway i lost me rag shouted for gods sake move yourself and that naturally made it worse.

 

Why why cant things me simple why cant stuff be easier..............i mean he leaves school this time next year im dreading it its going to be a nightmare .............whats going to become of him..............i know it could all be ok but im thinking oh god ill be stuck with him trapped againe for god knows how long.Its a rotton prosprect.

 

I hope today goes well for him .Ill be glad when its all over.

[NickyB]

 

 

 

Spoke too soon...............i know hes stressed with the change of routine and even though on the surface hes enjoyed yesterday this m orning has been more hellish than normal.He was refuseing to get out of bed and ready,he wouldnt get dressed i was trying to gently coax him he was rtanting and raveing at me.Rightly or wrongly i lost me rag coz i couldnt take any of it anymore...............ive had a rotton few weeks not feeling well womens stuff.......dodgy test results follow up appointments ect realy worrying as this happened years ago and id to be treated .............anyway i lost me rag shouted for gods sake move yourself and that naturally made it worse.

 

Why why cant things me simple why cant stuff be easier..............i mean he leaves school this time next year im dreading it its going to be a nightmare .............whats going to become of him..............i know it could all be ok but im thinking oh god ill be stuck with him trapped againe for god knows how long.Its a rotton prosprect.

 

I hope today goes well for him .Ill be glad when its all over.

 

Paula

 

So sorry this morning's been bad My son is only 6, but i've already discovered that it's 1 step forward and 2 steps back sometimes. It's not surprising you lost your rag - you are only human after all. It's only natural to worry about what the future will bring - you just want him to be happy, and you deserve that too. Hang on in there and take it a day at a time.

 

I really hope it goes well for him today

 

<'> <'>

 

[Paula]

You just dust yer self down down you regroup and carry on.I wont mention this morning when he gets in itd just make hikm kick of againe.He will be enjoying it but itll be the stress of haveing to fit in thats tipping him over edge.All the old behavioures are resurficing all the things i thought were long gone are back and i guess im upset coz i thought he was over all that even though deep inside i knew he wasnt its like a rotton reminder a rotton kick in the teeth at the optimism id been fealing over him this past few months...............kinda nar nar na na hes never going to be normal.what you actually thought he was improveing.

 

 

 

Off on a tangent but me daughter NT 17 is all down also coz she hates her job she was all depressed and weepy last night too..............she dropped outta college after only 6 weeks last september then her bloke dumped her in January after 8 months.shes a new fella in tow now and thats all rosey and happy.........she refuses to go back into education i cant force her............my sister and parents are always banging on saying she needs to sort her self out ect ect but shes only 17 in my opinion it could take years to settle.her bloke is 20 and hes not settled into a job he likes are owt hes been branded a waster by his daft parents.Im ranting and whineing on i know .But its like why do you have to have youre life all sorted out at 17 or even 20 yer still young and daft and finding yer way.

 

 

Moan over.

 

 

I fancy big portion of chips for me dinner and deep fried chicken..............forget the diet i need it.

[Paula]

Its his last day today................hes done that well that theyve said he can go back againe and do two weeks there later on in the year.Hes realy enjoyed it and has announced he wants to be a labourer hes enjoyed the physical work and made a freind who he says is funny.the weeks got easier as its gone on and his tantruming on an evening has stopped everything all settled as it comes to an end.................typical.

[pearl]

Yay, thats really positive!

[Mandapanda]

Its his last day today................hes done that well that theyve said he can go back againe and do two weeks there later on in the year.Hes realy enjoyed it and has announced he wants to be a labourer hes enjoyed the physical work and made a freind who he says is funny.the weeks got easier as its gone on and his tantruming on an evening has stopped everything all settled as it comes to an end.................typical.

 

Well done to you both - it can be a rollercoaster but it sounds like he'll come away with a good experience and some good memories, and potential for the future. Brilliant.

[pookie170]

Well done to him!

He sounds a bit like my lad, even though Cal is only 11. Try as I might to warn people, every time he faces a big change, there will be a brief period of respite then BOOM! The aliens land and it all goes to pot for him! And it all depends on how he's handled as to how long it takes to settle back down again.

It sounds like your son's had a big confidence boost though, Paula, and it's encouraging that he was managing to cope better by the end of the week. And aspirations, too. That's so cool, well done to him.