Whole family exhibit Autistic traits

[szxmum]

Wow, what a rollercoaster the past 2 weeks have been - my learninmg curve has gone into orbit

 

Having to put ds life under the microscope has led me to scrutinise my whole family - it is like a light turning on - when you consider my whole family in terms of the Autistic spectrum, it all suddenly makes perfect sense - it helps explain why we are all such an odd bunch with lots & lots of mental health problems. None of us are diagnosed, ds will be the first.

 

Here we go:

 

My dad - very, very clever man, engineer, appalling social skills, extreme anxiety problems leading to self-medication with alcohol. This turned into alcoholism which he died from at the age of 51.

 

My mum - also clever, never worked, better social skills - will talk but usually very, very intensely about her special interests eg stamp & postcard collecting, no idea that people get bored and when subject is changed will always revert to what she is talking about, invades personal space (to the point of inducing panic attacks in me), very poor skills in terms of looking after a house, herself and her children (I finally accepted at the age of 33 that my brother and I were neglected as children and I had been turned into my brother's carer).

 

My brother - becomes extremely anxious in social situations, also not good at reciprocal conversations, very opinionated and will talk at length about his problems, going round and round in circles, panic attacks +++, also self-medicates using alcohol

 

Me - not good socially, never know how or when to enter a conversation - I sit mesmerised watching people talk about anything and everything and think "how do you do it?" I am the master at killing conversations. I'm much better at talking knowledgably about things that I am an "expert" in. I also come with a history of anxiety and depression. I have worked but have trouble sustaining a job - I always end up in overload where it all becomes too much - full-time jobs always end quicker than part-time jobs but one way or another they all come to an end.

 

My dh - uber-talented artist, very literal thinker - cannot problem solve (drives me mad that he can only see one option and refuses to accept other possibilities)

 

My dh's dad - also alcoholic

 

My dh's mum - severe mental health probs (died very young at 43)

 

My dd - the most NT of the lot of us but the traits are still there - also an uber-talented artist, is hanging onto school social life by her finger nails - she describes herself as being on the fringes of the "in-crowd"

 

 

No wonder my poor ds is having such a hard time - he has had a double genetic whammy from both sides of the family along with environmental factors of parents who have most probably lived their lives in spectrum families and are unwittingly reinforcing behaviours.

 

It's absolutely mind-blowing and fascinating.

 

Would love to hear from others who have been similarly "enlightened".

Edited April 27, 2009 by szxmum

[lisac]

szxmum, that is very interesting. When ive thought about it, every single person on both sides is dysfuntional/odd, apart from myself , honestly! .

Edited April 27, 2009 by lisac

[Emma_74]

its really funny you mentioned this because i have done exactually the same!! when Connor was dx in Nov i just couldn't get my head round it i knew he had ADHD but as for ASD i thought "well he's just the same as i am" I am now undergoing evaluation myself .

 

This then led me to evaluate all the family and one of my other sons defo has traits (has been dx) and my with my husband i wouldn't be suprised if he was on the spectrum either.

 

When i mentioned all this to my mum she said well that's what i'm like aswell! so for fun both my mum and i took an online assesment and both got high scores so who knows

 

One thing i do know is that if my son hadn't been dx then i wouldn't have looked no further and just excepted that thats the way i am it's normal to me as i have lived with it all my life

 

Emma

[Karen A]

<'> <'> szxmum.

I have certainly wondered in great depth about my side of the family.

My situation is very complicated.My elder brother committed suicide at the age of 16.His death had a traumatic impact on the family.I was nine when my brother died.

I developed mental health problems in 1998.I was never diagnosed with any mental health condition.However it was always thought that my difficulties were purely due to childhood trauma.I have spent nine years in private psychotherapy and am very well now.

Three years ago Ben's teacher who has a son with AS suggested that Ben was very similar toher son and might have AS.

CAMHS looked in depth at my family history.It included features in both of my parents which were similar to what you described.

I have also wondered at length over the years about my brother and whether he might have had AS.

The impact of the trauma of my brother's death on the family has been such that it will never be possible to answer many of the things I wonder about.

My dad died when I was 19.Mum died 4 years ago.

CAMHS psychotherapists and psychiatrists who are specialists in childhood trauma are unable to untangle my extremely complex situation.

When Ben was assessed by CAMHS they thought that he did not have AS.They were certain that Ben was how he was because of the impact of my mental health in the first three years of his life.

Last Autumn we were refered for Ben to have a 3di.The 3di is a specialist assessment which can differentiate between ASD and other conditions.The CAMHS psychotherapists were certain that Ben did not have AS.Ben wanted to know.He is 10.

Anyway it turned out that Ben has AS after all.

As I said nobody will ever be able to decide regarding a possible diagnosis for me.There is nobody currently in this country with the ability to decide.

I do not know if I would ever want to know anyway.Each time we have undertaken further assessments it has involved explaining a family history that is complex and traumatic.

Apart from todays post I have been coming to the point of deciding that now we have a dx for Ben I can get on with my life.I have a right to move on.

However I have to say that I do have a few areas in my life which even after a lot of psychotherapy and even when I am well remain.

I have read one or two biographies written by women with AS and certainly identify with some of the things they write.

 

I think it is not unusual to start and wonder about other family members.

AS dx is really very new.I am 43.In my parents generation AS did not exist.Even in my generation there are not many people with an AS dx.

However there have been several occasions on the Forum where children have been diagnosed with AS.Subsequently there has been some thought regarding parents or grandparents.Karen.

[Tally]

When you first start learning about autism, it is very common to start seeing it everywhere.

 

There do seem to be a lot of autistic traits floating about in my family as well.

 

I am diagnosed with Asperger's.

My brother excels in social situations and exhibits no autistic traits whatsoever. But he is a remarkable mathematician and often gets nicknamed Rainman.

I believe my father has Asperger's, but he had a traumatic childhood and I don't know whether anyone would be able to untangle what has led to which traits. Nevertheless, my mother has found that using techniques designed for people with Asperger's has helped them communicate better with each other.

My mother does not exhibit any autistic traits, but feels that she has some sensory processing difficulties.

My mother's father is a very quiet man, but I think that is just down to shyness.

My mother's mother is rather eccentric, does not enjoy social situations, and avoids them when she can. When she cannot, she seems to float on the edge rather than mix, and resorts to some unusual behaviours, which may provide comfort. I think she may have some autistic traits.

My mother's elder brother seems to have some mild social difficulties, which we always assumed were caused by spending much of his childhood in hospital, and later being unable to join in games with other children. Having discovered autism, we are now not so sure.

My mother's younger brother has extreme social difficulties and talks for hours about Irish place names, even if you really do not want to know. He has finally found a niche in acadaemia, but still has many social difficulties. I believe he probably has Asperger's.

I never knew my father's parents, though his mother had severe mental health problems and committed suicide.

My father's aunt was an absolute loon and exhibited many autistic traits.

My father's brother has turned out remarkably normal, but his son has learning difficulties (not autism).

Edited April 27, 2009 by Tally

[Karen A]

Hi again.I thought that having just posted above it was worth sounding one note of caustion.

Having had extensive support from CAMHS and private psychotherapy.

It is very well documented and widely recognised amongst mental health professionals that having parents with long term severe mental health problems can impact on children and other family members.

So where there is a clear family history of mental ill health professionals may well argue that difficulties are far more likely to be due to mental health difficulties than to anyone having ASD.

It is also worth bearing in mind professionals also consider it likely that some mental health disorders could also have a genetic component.

So although it is intersting to consider it could be that the presence of ASD and mental ill health in the family could be a coincidence.

A significant proportion of the population have mental health problems at some time in their life.So it would be surprising if there was not one member of the family with mental health problems in most wider family groups. Karen.

[pearl]

We have one other person (on my side of the family) formally dx'd with Aspergers, & lots of "spectrumy" peeps on both sides. Pretty sure that mr p's uncle would have been dx'd had a dx been available 60 years ago.

 

I think this "lightbulb" moment comes to many of us during the process of diagnosis - it makes perfect sense that there might be a genetic component & other family members may be affected - I would add a note of caution though about "assuming" autism in people. I think it can sometimes be a case of finding what you are looking for - a bit like seeing pregnant women everywhere when you are pregnant yourself if that makes sense. Diagnosis, as you know, is a long, hard, gruelling process, & I do know that some folks are sensitive about autism being "diluted" by assuming someone is AS without a formal dx. However, I must say it has helped me cope with some family members much better when I have made that very assumption!

[Karen A]

When you first start learning about autism, it is very common to start seeing it everywhere.

 

There do seem to be a lot of autistic traits floating about in my family as well.

 

I am diagnosed with Asperger's.

My brother excels in social situations and exhibits no autistic traits whatsoever. But he is a remarkable mathematician and often gets nicknamed Rainman.

I believe my father has Asperger's, but he had a traumatic childhood and I don't know whether anyone would be able to untangle what has led to which traits. Nevertheless, my mother has found that using techniques designed for people with Asperger's has helped them communicate better with each other.

My mother does not exhibit any autistic traits, but feels that she has some sensory processing difficulties.

My mother's father is a very quiet man, but I think that is just down to shyness.

My mother's mother is rather eccentric, does not enjoy social situations, and avoids them when she can. When she cannot, she seems to float on the edge rather than mix, and resorts to some unusual behaviours, which may provide comfort. I think she may have some autistic traits.

My mother's elder brother seems to have some mild social difficulties, which we always assumed were caused by spending much of his childhood in hospital, and later being unable to join in games with other children. Having discovered autism, we are now not so sure.

My mother's younger brother has extreme social difficulties and talks for hours about Irish place names, even if you really do not want to know. He has finally found a niche in acadaemia, but still has many social difficulties. I believe he probably has Asperger's.

I never knew my father's parents, though his mother had severe mental health problems and committed suicide.

My father's aunt was an absolute loon and exhibited many autistic traits.

My father's brother has turned out remarkably normal, but his son has learning difficulties (not autism).

 

Tally.Your family history is nearly as long as mine.... <'>

I remember well the first appointment with a wonderful child psychiatrist who did the family history as part of the assessment for Ben.

I had only been talking a few minutes when he put is note pad down and said a copy of my notes that I had brought might be more helpful than any attempt he could make to note the information down.

[Tally]

One thing that caused a major delay to my diagnosis was when I said that my father worked long hours, was not affectionate, and we did not have a close relationship until I was an adult. They interpreted this to mean he was dismissive and unkind toward me, which is not remotely the truth, but led them to blame everything on psychological causes rather than consider AS. They even recorded that my speech delay was due to my father's working hours, completely disregarding the fact that I actually have another parent!

[bikemad]

Im convinced my brother has it, know uncles n cousins have it know my son biological father and my sons half sisters have it...my other half is convinced ive got it too.

[bid]

Well, it's gotta come from somewhere!

 

Bid

[bikemad]

Well, it's gotta come from somewhere!

 

Bid

 

 

[Karen A]

One thing that caused a major delay to my diagnosis was when I said that my father worked long hours, was not affectionate, and we did not have a close relationship until I was an adult. They interpreted this to mean he was dismissive and unkind toward me, which is not remotely the truth, but led them to blame everything on psychological causes rather than consider AS. They even recorded that my speech delay was due to my father's working hours, completely disregarding the fact that I actually have another parent!

 

Oh dear distant unresponsive father......one hint of anything like that is a huge flag for a mental health professional.Not as big a flag as a depressed mother but not far behind.

Unfortunately Pearls comment '' I think it can sometimes be a case of finding what you are looking for '' can also be applied to mental health professionals and parental mental health difficulties.

Karen.

 

[Mumble]

When you first start learning about autism, it is very common to start seeing it everywhere.

I would add a note of caution though about "assuming" autism in people. I think it can sometimes be a case of finding what you are looking for - a bit like seeing pregnant women everywhere when you are pregnant yourself if that makes sense.

I completely agree with both of the above. With the pregnancy thing, I know someone who was desperate for a child but couldn't conceive naturally and she would say that everyone she saw was pregnant. Of course she was only focused on pregnant woman. The dx criteria are quite wide and it's very easy to mould what we see to fit the criteria we have. In addition, if we're set on seeing something we can easily (and not always consciously) conveniently forget aspects that wouldn't fit the criteria. This applies to a wide range of diagnoses and medical conditions, not just autism. It is why I think we do have to be very cautious about the dx process, why I believe self-dx is wrong (fine to say 'a suspicion of' not to say 'I have') and why some (ooh, I feel I'm about to get hit over the head with a non-rubber mallet ) private dxs are dubious if the person has approached with a set dx already in mind which may cloud the judgement of the psychologist etc.

 

Well, it's gotta come from somewhere!

Divine intervention... (No insult intended to anyone)

 

[madme]

Yes. Both my kids have a formal diagnosis. My mum has some social issues but would not qualify for a diagnosis. MY dad's brother probably had a form of autism. He was labelled as slow and had odd social behaviour. He died young - mainly from his inability to communicate how ill he was feeling. I found him really hard to understand and felt saddened so many years later when my son was diagnosed that we had not really understood what was going on.

My dad's cousin committed suicide and from what he tells me I suspect was ASD.

My Hubbie has definiate traits. His Dad also. His grandfather I am informed had very clear asd traits - I was advised by a cousin of my husband who has a child dx with ASD. My hubbie has another cousin also with a child dx as ASD and ADHD. I have a cousin who was very ADHD ( I recognise it now as my son has a dx of severe adhd/hyperkinetic disorder as well). A few of my grandmothers siblings were very very eccentric and possibly ASD.

I think that I have traits of Adhd and Aspergers.

 

 

[MelowMeldrew]

One can perhaps read more into things than there are, once you have an autistic child, then the search is on for a rhyme or reason for it, and given Medical opinion is varied and inconclusive or just plain vague, then you naturally turn to family itself. What did I do wrong etc, has he/she inherited autisms from ? Behaviour patterns are NOT a clear indication, someone singularly minded is not necessarily an obsessive compulsive or an autistic person. Someone who's always painfully shy is also not 'socially' challenged or again exhibiting autistic traits either. Many 'tests' for Autism and its traits that medicos have created fail if the person had language issues or even hearing loss, as they are interactive on each other. If you cannot hear someone properly speaking the natural tendency is to avoid the situation and stress of it, its a fact in the deaf areas. There is an entirely different 'test' if there is hearing loss, and, often then it goes belly up, as they cannot determine the autism clear enough. Some autism may be inherited, but not apparent at all, because no other family member shows any such trait or clue, none of mine do. His Mum's family did have compulsive tendency issues, mum and grandmum both did. But I'm not in the area of blame and even those clues don't really clarify autism, as OCD's are a different thing.

[baddad]

The title of this (whole family exhibit autistic traits) is undoubtedly on the money.

However, if you take out 'family' and insert 'world' and add an 's' to the end of exhibits you'll still be on the money!

Autistic traits are completely natural to human behaviour, but elements appear more intense in the autistic population. Once you start looking for those traits you'll find them in anyone - in fact, in another thread I've just noted how behaviours are interpreted completely differently once autism is introduced into the equation (the example I mentioned was an interest in music - but it applies to absolutely anything).

 

L&P

 

BD

[Enid]

interesting post, after having a nephew just diagnosed as Autisic, age 2, and my own DS , who was diagnosed ASD aged 11, we as a family started to think about this, but just think, not going to take any online tests!!!! but the more you think the more you see it, but like Pearl says it has to come from somewhere <'> <'> Enid

[Sally44]

Wow, what a rollercoaster the past 2 weeks have been - my learninmg curve has gone into orbit

 

Having to put ds life under the microscope has led me to scrutinise my whole family - it is like a light turning on - when you consider my whole family in terms of the Autistic spectrum, it all suddenly makes perfect sense - it helps explain why we are all such an odd bunch with lots & lots of mental health problems. None of us are diagnosed, ds will be the first.

 

Here we go:

 

My dad - very, very clever man, engineer, appalling social skills, extreme anxiety problems leading to self-medication with alcohol. This turned into alcoholism which he died from at the age of 51.

 

My mum - also clever, never worked, better social skills - will talk but usually very, very intensely about her special interests eg stamp & postcard collecting, no idea that people get bored and when subject is changed will always revert to what she is talking about, invades personal space (to the point of inducing panic attacks in me), very poor skills in terms of looking after a house, herself and her children (I finally accepted at the age of 33 that my brother and I were neglected as children and I had been turned into my brother's carer).

 

My brother - becomes extremely anxious in social situations, also not good at reciprocal conversations, very opinionated and will talk at length about his problems, going round and round in circles, panic attacks +++, also self-medicates using alcohol

 

Me - not good socially, never know how or when to enter a conversation - I sit mesmerised watching people talk about anything and everything and think "how do you do it?" I am the master at killing conversations. I'm much better at talking knowledgably about things that I am an "expert" in. I also come with a history of anxiety and depression. I have worked but have trouble sustaining a job - I always end up in overload where it all becomes too much - full-time jobs always end quicker than part-time jobs but one way or another they all come to an end.

 

My dh - uber-talented artist, very literal thinker - cannot problem solve (drives me mad that he can only see one option and refuses to accept other possibilities)

 

My dh's dad - also alcoholic

 

My dh's mum - severe mental health probs (died very young at 43)

 

My dd - the most NT of the lot of us but the traits are still there - also an uber-talented artist, is hanging onto school social life by her finger nails - she describes herself as being on the fringes of the "in-crowd"

 

 

No wonder my poor ds is having such a hard time - he has had a double genetic whammy from both sides of the family along with environmental factors of parents who have most probably lived their lives in spectrum families and are unwittingly reinforcing behaviours.

 

It's absolutely mind-blowing and fascinating.

 

Would love to hear from others who have been similarly "enlightened".

 

Sounds like my family too!

I thought we were all so normal until my son was diagnosed

[lisac]

I think there is definately something to it, as no one elses families seem to have such a collection of odditys and behaviours as you've described, it is very interesting .

[baddad]

I think there is definately something to it, as no one elses families seem to have such a collection of odditys and behaviours as you've described, it is very interesting .

 

Hi Lisa -

 

if you look through, you'll see that almost everyone who's responded has 'such a collection' - including you!:

 

When ive thought about it, every single person on both sides is dysfuntional/odd, apart from myself , honestly! .

 

and here's the danger - no matter how reassuring it might seem to label the entire family/world as autistic (thus 'normalising' the behaviours of your child) the reality is not that your child will 'fit in' better, but be doubly excluded. If the whole world is autistic and your child still doesn't fit in - then he/she is 'autistic PLUS'... they're never going to get access to the support they need because, well everybody's on the spectrum.

 

Imagine one of those 'run in's at the school gates that has been the subject of another thread, only this time the other party - despite clear evidence that their child is much MUCH more socially aware than your own - can 'claim' the same disability on the basis that their child keeps their footballer bubble gum cards in strict alphabetical/team order and have an 'obsession' for hotwheels!?

 

Mumble: I'll go one further (I've got good at ducking!):

 

private dxs are dubious if the person has approached with a set dx already in mind which may cloud the judgement of the psychologist etc.

 

and where the person (consciously or unconsciously) patterns their responses accordingly.

 

In my earlier post I mentioned the way that people will interpret behaviours (and mould them to fit that preconception) as autistic once the idea of autism has been introduced to the equation. That is no less relevent to the interpretation of personal motivations than it is to judgements made about others.

 

Quite odd, given the suggestion in another thread, that I find myself so often posting to preserve the diagnosis of autism as a genuine and distinct condition.

 

A cold is not 'flu'. A cough is not tuberculosis. Traits are not autism.

 

L&P

 

BD

Edited April 27, 2009 by baddad

[Karen A]

Hi Lisa -

 

if you look through, you'll see that almost everyone who's responded has 'such a collection' - including you!:

 

 

 

and here's the danger - no matter how reassuring it might seem to label the entire family/world as autistic (thus 'normalising' the behaviours of your child) the reality is not that your child will 'fit in' better, but be doubly excluded. If the whole world is autistic and your child still doesn't fit in - then he/she is 'autistic PLUS'... they're never going to get access to the support they need because, well everybody's on the spectrum.

 

Imagine one of those 'run in's at the school gates that has been the subject of another thread, only this time the other party - despite clear evidence that their child is much MUCH more socially aware than your own - can 'claim' the same disability on the basis that their child keeps their footballer bubble gum cards in strict alphabetical/team order and have an 'obsession' for hotwheels!?

 

Mumble: I'll go one further (I've got good at ducking!):

 

 

 

and where the person (consciously or unconsciously) patterns their responses accordingly.

 

In my earlier post I mentioned the way that people will interpret behaviours (and mould them to fit that preconception) as autistic once the idea of autism has been introduced to the equation. That is no less relevent to the interpretation of personal motivations than it is to judgements made about others.

 

Quite odd, given the suggestion in another thread, that I find myself so often posting to preserve the diagnosis of autism as a genuine and distinct condition.

 

A cold is not 'flu'. A cough is not tuberculosis. Traits are not autism.

 

L&P

 

BD

 

Oh well.I can only speak for myself.I was not attempting to reasure myself.I ponder these things as a way of attempting to come to some understanding of myself and my family.All of the significant people are dead now except myself and Ben.As I said nobody would ever be able to diagnose me due to my complex history.

I will just return to the belief that my brother was depressed and that my parents both had mental health problems that were made worse by trauma.

I have to say it is not that reasuring.

I have said elsewhere in the last few weeks that I think I should leave my history be.

If this is what happens when I try to post stuff that is extremely difficult then that is obviously the case. Karen.

 

[Diane]

Yes it is definately in the genes. My DH side absolutly and my side just have OCD me I am the NT one who has the wieght of the families problems on her shoulders.

[MelowMeldrew]

The title of this (whole family exhibit autistic traits) is undoubtedly on the money.

However, if you take out 'family' and insert 'world' and add an 's' to the end of exhibits you'll still be on the money!

Autistic traits are completely natural to human behaviour, but elements appear more intense in the autistic population. Once you start looking for those traits you'll find them in anyone - in fact, in another thread I've just noted how behaviours are interpreted completely differently once autism is introduced into the equation (the example I mentioned was an interest in music - but it applies to absolutely anything).

 

L&P

 

BD

 

 

Exactly.... and even labeling other family members such via autism, somehow 'legitimizes' them doesn't it. No longer an awkward or uncooperative family member but someone with a recognized medical issue, which also badly reflects on our children who are not the way they are by poor behavior.. That can and too often does cover up poor behavior in many areas. The difference between poor nurture, and a natural norm has to be recognized for what it is. We had a rash of bad parents who blamed the fact they let their kids run wild, on 'Autism' and 'Hyper Activity'. I hate it when they say bad behavior is autism, this is not the case, as autistic behaviour is not that premeditated.

[Karen A]

Exactly.... and even labeling other family members such via autism, somehow 'legitimizes' them doesn't it. No longer an awkward or uncooperative family member but someone with a recognized medical issue, which also badly reflects on our children who are not the way they are by poor behavior.. That can and too often does cover up poor behavior in many areas. The difference between poor nurture, and a natural norm has to be recognized for what it is. We had a rash of bad parents who blamed the fact they let their kids run wild, on 'Autism' and 'Hyper Activity'. I hate it when they say bad behavior is autism, this is not the case, as autistic behaviour is not that premeditated.

 

Well.I can only speak for myself.Having spent two years recieving weekly support in support of therapy for Ben because I had had mental health problems and was perfectly willing to recognise that fact and take responsibility for it I turned out to have a child with AS.

Parents of children with ASD don't appreciate it when people make generalisations about them.A significant number of parents who have children with emotiona ldifficulties either have mental health issues or were poorly parented through no fault of their own.These parents don't like to be labled either or to have generalisations made about them .Most parents who fail to nurture there children do not set out to do so.

 

Edited April 27, 2009 by Karen A

[lisac]

well i am well and truly lost now ..

[baddad]

Oh well.I can only speak for myself.I was not attempting to reasure myself.I ponder these things as a way of attempting to come to some understanding of myself and my family.All of the significant people are dead now except myself and Ben.As I said nobody would ever be able to diagnose me due to my complex history.

I will just return to the belief that my brother was depressed and that my parents both had mental health problems that were made worse by trauma.

I have to say it is not that reasuring.

I have said elsewhere in the last few weeks that I think I should leave my history be.

If this is what happens when I try to post stuff that is extremely difficult then that is obviously the case. Karen.

 

 

Hi karen -

 

I don't know how or even if I should attempt to reply to this, because it has come from such a personal and emotive place... I will, briefly, because i think you've been here long enough and 'know' me well enough to appreciate that anything I say is not personal, that there would be no 'malice' involved, and that i'm only offering a 'perspective'...

You've started by saying, 'i'm not seeking to reassure myself', but have finished by saying (I think?)that the idea of your family history not being attributable to autism is 'not reassuring'...

Obviously, i have no idea/knowledge of your family history (beyond what you have posted on forum/here) and couldn't possibly comment on the individuals concerned; but even if autism was a factor for one, all or some of the people involved it does not in any way exclude mental health issues/depression/trauma as the cause (or a contributing factor) of the problems. These things can be co-morbids of autism, but are also significant within the general population (1 in 8, last I heard), so any imperative to associate them with autism and your son's diagnosis is a personal one, IYSWIM...

 

I don't know your motivation in examining autism as an explanation - whether it is to help you come to terms with their pain, or to signpost steps and interventions for yourself/your family. If it is the former I think sometimes we just have to accept that we can't always know and come to terms with that, rather than punishing ourselves with what might have been. If it is the latter, then the important thing isn't the label or the diagnosis, but the knowledge that there is a 'problem' and a commitment to respond to that 'problem' appropriately. If it does include a dx of autism then that's probably going to indicate some of the appropriate responses. if it doesn't then you respond to what is left.

 

hope that makes sense

 

L&P

 

BD

[lisac]

Do you think though, it could be more than just coincidence that our families that we've spoken of, seem to have such a high number of people with autistic traits? Should that be dismissed or examined ?

[szxmum]

Oh dear - I do seem to have started a bit of a heated discussion - I hope I haven't upset anyone with this thread but it looks as if I have - slinks off quietly....

 

Comes back, saying meekly....

 

I am no expert on Autism - in fact this is all so new to me and I can't thank everyone enough for all the support that I have been on this forum.

 

I started this thread as a wry observation of my own family background - nothing more. Like many, we are a troubled family - nothing unique in that. My feeling is that we have a higher than average concentration of mental heath problems in our family - I was aware of this long before I new anything about Autism and Asperger's Syndrome. I am now aware that many family members exhibit autistic traits. I am not labelling any of them with autism just wondering IF there is a link between the (now obvious to me) autistic traits and the mental health problems. It would seem to make sense but I'm not a professional so I guess I'll never really know.

 

As far as my own ds goes (wherever it came from) he does exhibit the triad of impairments and he is likely to be getting a diagnosis of AS. He does exhibit OCD whether this is AS related or anxiety related, I don't know - it's probably a bit of both. Like many, many people with AS he has high levels of anxiety and associated MH problems. In fact, at this moment in time he is emotionally burnt out.

 

The diagnosis or the label are really immaterial to me - what matters is how he is suffering / has suffered in the past. If a diagnosis helps me get him the help he needs for now and in the future - I'll fight to get it. If my son's diagnosis helps to raise awareness of AS and / or MH problems in young people then that is all to the good too.

 

Sorry again for any upset, szxmum xx

 

 

[Mumble]

Do you think though, it could be more than just coincidence that our families that we've spoken of, seem to have such a high number of people with autistic traits?

I think that's exactly the argument that is being made. Look and you shall see? And as BD says, traits are not autism (I really like that cold is not flu etc. thing - been mulling it over and it's quite an interesting way of thinking).

 

[lisac]

Ok, so do we dismiss the amount of things that we can see?

[pearl]

szxmum <'> you haven't upset anyone. Threads like this often attract very diverse opinions, & its valuable to debate these things.

[Karen A]

Hi karen -

 

I don't know how or even if I should attempt to reply to this, because it has come from such a personal and emotive place... I will, briefly, because i think you've been here long enough and 'know' me well enough to appreciate that anything I say is not personal, that there would be no 'malice' involved, and that i'm only offering a 'perspective'...

You've started by saying, 'i'm not seeking to reassure myself', but have finished by saying (I think?)that the idea of your family history not being attributable to autism is 'not reassuring'...

Obviously, i have no idea/knowledge of your family history (beyond what you have posted on forum/here) and couldn't possibly comment on the individuals concerned; but even if autism was a factor for one, all or some of the people involved it does not in any way exclude mental health issues/depression/trauma as the cause (or a contributing factor) of the problems. These things can be co-morbids of autism, but are also significant within the general population (1 in 8, last I heard), so any imperative to associate them with autism and your son's diagnosis is a personal one, IYSWIM...

 

I don't know your motivation in examining autism as an explanation - whether it is to help you come to terms with their pain, or to signpost steps and interventions for yourself/your family. If it is the former I think sometimes we just have to accept that we can't always know and come to terms with that, rather than punishing ourselves with what might have been. If it is the latter, then the important thing isn't the label or the diagnosis, but the knowledge that there is a 'problem' and a commitment to respond to that 'problem' appropriately. If it does include a dx of autism then that's probably going to indicate some of the appropriate responses. if it doesn't then you respond to what is left.

 

hope that makes sense

 

L&P

 

BD

 

Thanks.We do have a diagnosis of AS.Ben was diagnosed last October.I thought you would know that.

Incidently Ben obtained a diagnosis through the NHS because he wanted to know and CAMHS decided to offer the 3di.We were not pushing for it.The psychotherapists who are excellent were convinced that Ben could not have AS.However they were as surprisedas anyone.The criteria for dx for ASD specifically do not allow for ASD and attachment disorder so there was never an option for there to be a combined diagnosis.

We have excellent support in place for him.

 

I do not expect you to provide answers or to agree with me.I am generally beyond the stage of coming to terms with my pain.However I do feel there are very valid reasons for considering the possibility that my brother might have had AS.

As far as my wider family are concerned there is nothing to consider re support for them....as I said both my parents and my brother are a bit beyond signposts or intervention.

J [our elder son] and my other half are absolutely NT.As for me I am actually very well now and nobody would ever have a hope of assessing me with a complex history and nine years therapy behind me. Karen.

 

 

[mariag]

Oh dear - I do seem to have started a bit of a heated discussion - I hope I haven't upset anyone with this thread but it looks as if I have - slinks off quietly....

 

Comes back, saying meekly....

 

I am no expert on Autism - in fact this is all so new to me and I can't thank everyone enough for all the support that I have been on this forum.

 

I started this thread as a wry observation of my own family background - nothing more. Like many, we are a troubled family - nothing unique in that. My feeling is that we have a higher than average concentration of mental heath problems in our family - I was aware of this long before I new anything about Autism and Asperger's Syndrome. I am now aware that many family members exhibit autistic traits. I am not labelling any of them with autism just wondering IF there is a link between the (now obvious to me) autistic traits and the mental health problems. It would seem to make sense but I'm not a professional so I guess I'll never really know.

 

As far as my own ds goes (wherever it came from) he does exhibit the triad of impairments and he is likely to be getting a diagnosis of AS. He does exhibit OCD whether this is AS related or anxiety related, I don't know - it's probably a bit of both. Like many, many people with AS he has high levels of anxiety and associated MH problems. In fact, at this moment in time he is emotionally burnt out.

 

The diagnosis or the label are really immaterial to me - what matters is how he is suffering / has suffered in the past. If a diagnosis helps me get him the help he needs for now and in the future - I'll fight to get it. If my son's diagnosis helps to raise awareness of AS and / or MH problems in young people then that is all to the good too.

 

Sorry again for any upset, szxmum xx

 

 

Hi i am also new to this site, in fact you are the first person i am responding to! I have 3 children 2 of whom are on the spectrum and the other we are waiting to be diagnosed. We have had confirmed by a professional that in our family it is geneitc, so i am thoroughly convinced that this is the case in my family. My husband has also got many issues and probably needs to be assessed but we are dealing with too much at the moment to even think that far. His father and grandfather both displayed/display autisitic traits, it's very very canny! My mother also displays traits. This is only a few members of our family but we can already see a picture building up. My husband and i often joke about it and say that our children never had a chance of being "normal". We are doing a course on autism run by camhs and one of the biggest questions is where did it come from? It generally points to genetics, so somewhere along the line, somehow, those of us that have autisitic children have produced them by means of a chromosome defect. We have been told that it may be one of the chromosomes that are faulty, they are still doing research into this......!!

 

Anyway something for you to think about.

Maria

[Karen A]

Oh dear - I do seem to have started a bit of a heated discussion - I hope I haven't upset anyone with this thread but it looks as if I have - slinks off quietly....

 

Comes back, saying meekly....

 

 

 

Sorry again for any upset, szxmum xx

 

I am not upsett.Well not by this thread anyway.Don't mind me.I found out yesterday that a friend of the family has died.My waffle probably has most to do with that.

Now Pearl was it you who spoke some time ago about knowing when to use the x at the top of the screen ? Karen.

 

[Karen A]

Hi i am also new to this site, in fact you are the first person i am responding to! I have 3 children 2 of whom are on the spectrum and the other we are waiting to be diagnosed. We have had confirmed by a professional that in our family it is geneitc, so i am thoroughly convinced that this is the case in my family. My husband has also got many issues and probably needs to be assessed but we are dealing with too much at the moment to even think that far. His father and grandfather both displayed/display autisitic traits, it's very very canny! My mother also displays traits. This is only a few members of our family but we can already see a picture building up. My husband and i often joke about it and say that our children never had a chance of being "normal". We are doing a course on autism run by camhs and one of the biggest questions is where did it come from? It generally points to genetics, so somewhere along the line, somehow, those of us that have autisitic children have produced them by means of a chromosome defect. We have been told that it may be one of the chromosomes that are faulty, they are still doing research into this......!!

 

Anyway something for you to think about.

Maria

 

Welcome to the Forum Maria.Many people tiptoe in and test the waters here on the safest of topics.You are obviously happy to wade right in. <'> <'> Karen.

Edited April 27, 2009 by Karen A

[baddad]

Thanks.We do have a diagnosis of AS.Ben was diagnosed last October.I thought you would know that.

 

No, i knew about ben, but wasn't sure if you were specuating/thinking about other members of the family...

 

[MelowMeldrew]

Do you think though, it could be more than just coincidence that our families that we've spoken of, seem to have such a high number of people with autistic traits? Should that be dismissed or examined ?

 

It depends on the definitions of 'traits' as badad said if you seek you will find something that looks like autism, if you are looking for it. The diagnosis is so vague that's the problem. I can honestly say, that checking up on my family history there are none really exhibited that I can hang a handle on. I was trying NOT to find a blame area... my son is autistic I accept and go with that, albeit I had doubts and regarded MMR as a possible, because of the speed and severity after his inoculations, it just did not fit the usual 'patter' of autism kicking in after a certain time of normality. Medical opinion has shouted me down. They know best. What is to be gained by finding other family members with the 'traits' ? does it help assuage a guilt feeling I wonder ? "It's in the family, so not my fault..." ? We don't need to do this.

[Sally44]

Anyone can have autistic traits. But surely it is on a sliding scale and if you have enough of them, in the triad of impairments, then you get a diagnosis.

My understanding is that there is a suggested possible genetic weakness, along with possible environmental triggers. When talking to parents there are definately different feelings about when autism began to be evident and what they feel was the cause. For some children that regress immediately after vaccinations that is bound to bring questions from the parents. Would those children have regressed anyway without the vaccination, you never know. My son was showing some autistic traits before the MMR, but I only know that now with hindsight.

As for family, well. We have a number of things going on, and the doctor explained it to me like this. He said that when you have an individual, or a family with something outside of the 'normal' (my words not his), eg. developmental delay, mental illness, chromosome differences etc - then there is a greater chance of other things being present as well. That is why children with an ASD have a higher chance of having a co-morbid condition.

What surprised me in my family, was that I had assumed we were all okay, but post diagnosis of my son I found out about a number of diagnosis within my immediate family that I didn't even know about. And we all had to go for screening for a chromosome disorder that was found.

Also, as part of the initial assessment of my son I was asked about other family members.

[bid]

At both my son's assessment and my own we were asked about any other family members with any dx's, so it's obviously of some significence to the medics...

 

Bid