permament exclusion again

[desperate]

Hi all,

Neil has been permamently excluded from school today. He told an Australian boy who was taking the micky out of him that he waould find out where he lived and stab him.

I just don't know where to go from here, I know that he won't be placed in another school and as he doesn't step out side the house when he is at home I can see no future for him.

I did wonder if the stabbing business had come from the coverage of a young girl being stabbed very local to us. There was quite a bit about it on the news and in the papers. Not that where it came from matters, it was an awful thing to say and the school have reached the end of the road with him. It's a special school so there really is nowhere to go.

[bid]

<'> desperate <'>

 

I'm so, so sorry this has happened

 

Thinking of you all <'>

 

Bidx

[oracle]

It's pretty scary when a child tells you that he is going to stab someone I know, but I also know now that when David has a melt down, he comes out with things that are pretty scary, but things that I think he will never do. It's all of the frustration and anger boiling out and along with the tirad David will also usually end up crying.

 

David also never stepped outside of his room between the ages of 11 and 14 and hardly out of the house between 14 and 16 BUT he does now. I really do believe that many of our kids reach an age and stage when they need their own space and to be in their own space. I know that many would disagree but I can't see any point in trying to force them to do things that are making them feel ill and stressed. If anyone had told me that David would be playing pool, watching footie, going to the cinema and allowing his elder brother to have a crowd in his room (they share) I would have laughed at them. But coming up to 18 David is now doing all of these things on a regular basis. But even if he was not if being in the house was what made him happiest and comfortable then I could go with that to.

 

What do you want for your son and more importantly what does he want and can he tell you? David could never tell me what he wanted but he did know what he did NOT want. Maybe that's a place to begin.

 

Special schools are not always special places. There is no easy answers here but perhaps finding some shared meanings and understandings between the two of you would be helpful, if that's possible, and once you have this you can build on everything.

 

Carole

[nellie]

Desperate <'>

 

I'm sorry.

 

I find this punishment very harsh, many children with AS say things they don't mean in the heat of the moment. It can be something they have heard recently, something in the news, fantasy, something shocking, copied behaviour. Did anyone investigate to find out the reasoning behind this? It would have been much better if they had worked with him in a positive way to teach him appropriate behaviour.

 

You could go back to the LEA and discuss what happens next.

 

Sorry, I can't remember, was this an ASD specific school?

 

Nellie xx

[annie]

<'> Desperate <'>

 

I understand how you feel. We gave up with the whole school thing in the end. My son has just started Edcuation other than at School (see my post, A new Start).

 

Alex went through Primary School not fitting in, lots of suspensions because of lack of understanding. In Secondary school, he couldn't cope atall, and neither could they.

 

My son also picks up and repeats things he hears.

 

Annie

<'>

[Kazzen161]

>>I know that he won't be placed in another school

 

why do you say this? There are schools that can cope with the more challenging children.

 

(PS I also agree that exclusion seems a bit harsh - what punishment did the other boy get for teasing him?)

 

Karen