bluefish Report post Posted December 22, 2009 just thought I would post to say I am feeling sad! I think all the up beat impression I give all year kind of catches up at this time of year! even the supermarket is a mine field of well meaning people asking ds if he has been good and telling him santa wont come if he bites his mummy! I think this time of year more than any other I feel the difference between having an NT child or an ASD child really shows. I want to have what they have got with the excitment and not being able to wait santa/father christmas comes. instead I have a little man that hates being off school and will need to be shown his presents and even then will act like a man in his fiftys and be very quietly pleased but show no excitment! I do understand how very lucky I am that ds speaks and i can hear his voice he also at times hugs me so I feel blessed but i find it all very sad . I feel sad that I am pleased with achiements that most consider normal and at times wish his life could be much easier! x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted December 22, 2009 Just sending you some of these, <'> <'> sorry your going throw a hard time, hope that things improve soonxxxx JsMumx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mygifts1306 Report post Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) Hi there ! I can say I understand how you feel. Ds is nearly 7 and was diagnosed last christmas, He was not excited about christmas at all, infact he asked me how does santa get in my house, surely he cant go thru the chimney as he is a quite a big man. I tried to brush this off by saying " its magic", most children would find this answer enough, but no, Ds then asked me if Santa teleported- I was gobsmacked, as i didnt think he knew what this word meant. This year we are trying to keep the magic of christmas, I made a little booklet for him on christmas, what it means and what people in his family do, and we do hope christmas will be a little less chaotic for him. You are absolutely right- yes we hope for our children to be filled with excitement and be super happy but children with autism are different really. Yes it is good to count one's blessings but you are still allowed to cry and feel the way that you do, you are only human. kind regards Edited December 22, 2009 by mygifts1306 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Teresa Report post Posted December 22, 2009 Hi Bluefish Sometime's I wish i had a magic wand, not to change the person my daughter is but to be able to be more helpful to her, as i know i get it wrong time and time again, she's a deep person and very passive, sometime this might sound stange but i would like her to just have a tantrum or shout at me so i know how she feeling. But then i think i should know. Take care teresa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted December 22, 2009 thanks for your replys tonight I have had total break down and cryed and cyed guess I had to do this at some point?I cant believe my son is autistic Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted December 22, 2009 A stupid thing to say butI still cant get my head round it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted December 22, 2009 Hi Bluefish Sometime's I wish i had a magic wand, not to change the person my daughter is but to be able to be more helpful to her, as i know i get it wrong time and time again, she's a deep person and very passive, sometime this might sound strange but i would like her to just have a tantrum or shout at me so i know how she feeling. But then i think i should know. Take care teresa Have you ttied gluten and dairy free diets? Or testing her for scotopic sensitivity? She could be passive due to low confidence and depression issues. Some research has suggested that probiotics can be beneficial for depression and autism. Alexis Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted December 23, 2009 thanks for your replys tonight I have had total break down and cryed and cyed guess I had to do this at some point? We all have to sometimes - and it's good for us. Thinking of my mum earlier, who died 16 years ago today... The chords and vocals on this (but not necessarily the lyrics!) hit me hard earlier today, but ultimately helped me feel better. Hope it can work the same magic for you. L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted December 23, 2009 thanks for your replys tonight I have had total break down and cryed and cyed guess I had to do this at some point?I cant believe my son is autistic A stupid thing to say butI still cant get my head round it Don't be too hard on yourself. it can take a long time to get your head around all that is involved in having a child on the spectrum. Sometimes having a good cry is exactly the right thing to do. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) I know I felt exactly the same when my son was little. But as one of the few parents here whose child is now an adult can I just offer some hope...my son has progressed and done things that I never, ever thought he would be able to do back when he was 7/8. And you really do reach a place of acceptance, albeit with the odd wobble sometimes. Have a special Christmas Bluefish <'> Bidx Edited December 23, 2009 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sesley Report post Posted December 23, 2009 This is a extremely distressing and anxiety filled time of the year, its full of hustle and bustle of people trying to organise themselves for this weekends big blow out. It must be a nightmare for people like ours who find the whole experience impossible to comprehend and end up with the meltdowns. This year, he has coped extremly well, on Monday we had a snow day, and enjoyed tramping around out in it until he got cold. His excitement has showed in trying to be mischievious,hiding under his bed clothes throwing his teddy about,he is 10 and has come along way in progress,the sad thing he ws excluded from the school concert,just because he calls out inappropraate times, in the end of term service yesturday he was taken out as he started to show signs of restlessness,but he did well to stay as long as he did, his bro has his school shut since Monday, i thought there would be trouble that his school was open and he had to go,he accepted it all and happily went to school. He went to the after school club and he as upset,because he got a bit rough pushing and shoving others and kept saying I am naughty I am fired ,the leaders said no your not, he did say sorry,but i think its all been a lot of emotional stress and tonight was just the top of the iceberg. Roll on 2010. Back to normal and maybe more snow Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted December 23, 2009 Thanks for all the lovelly replies, I cant help but feel silly and selfish as my life with ds might be hard at times but we are very very lucky I know many parents out there would love to hear there childs voice this christmas and I feel very humble. things ok here I have done his visual timetable ready for christmas day and hope like mad he opens his stocking this year! again thankyou for the lovelly replies x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted December 23, 2009 Bluefish <'> <'> You're allowed to feel sad but as Bid says, it won't always be like this. I've been through some horrendous times with my daughter but wouldn't change her for anyone. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) We all have to sometimes - and it's good for us. Thinking of my mum earlier, who died 16 years ago today... The chords and vocals on this (but not necessarily the lyrics!) hit me hard earlier today, but ultimately helped me feel better. Hope it can work the same magic for you. L&P BD Damn it wont play for me :-( but i looked it up on spotify and played it. Cool track. Alexis Edited December 23, 2009 by trekster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted December 23, 2009 This is a extremely distressing and anxiety filled time of the year, its full of hustle and bustle of people trying to organise themselves for this weekends big blow out. It must be a nightmare for people like ours who find the whole experience impossible to comprehend and end up with the meltdowns. This year, he has coped extremely well, on Monday we had a snow day, and enjoyed tramping around out in it until he got cold. His excitement has showed in trying to be mischievous,hiding under his bed clothes throwing his teddy about,he is 10 and has come along way in progress,the sad thing he was excluded from the school concert,just because he calls out inappropriate times, in the end of term service yesterday he was taken out as he started to show signs of restlessness,but he did well to stay as long as he did, his bro has his school shut since Monday, i thought there would be trouble that his school was open and he had to go,he accepted it all and happily went to school. He went to the after school club and he as upset,because he got a bit rough pushing and shoving others and kept saying I am naughty I am fired ,the leaders said no your not, he did say sorry,but i think its all been a lot of emotional stress and tonight was just the top of the iceberg. Roll on 2010. Back to normal and maybe more snow Agreed it is very stressful and i was quite hyperverbal today. Is there enough demand for an autistic friendly out of schools club like the ones run in England? i know one parent set up her own youth club in 1996 which i still attend so her son could meet other asperger teens. It could work with younger kids as well. Alexis Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted December 23, 2009 Thanks for all the lovely replies, I cant help but feel silly and selfish as my life with ds might be hard at times but we are very very lucky I know many parents out there would love to hear there child's voice this Christmas and I feel very humble. things ok here I have done his visual timetable ready for Christmas day and hope like mad he opens his stocking this year! again thank you for the lovely replies x A social story could prepare him for opening the stocking, explain it is only once a year and why children do it. Maybe "twas the night before xmas" book would help? Alexis Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted December 24, 2009 I find the isolation at Christmas the worst thing. We're cut off from family because we don't fit in with them and it doesn't work for us to go down to visit and Jay hasn't any friends to share the holidays with. It's just the three of us and we'll be okay, have a nice time, but it's far from what I'd like it to be, with family and friends gathering round, etc., that's just a dream for us. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisac Report post Posted December 24, 2009 I identify with all of it, lots of love to you x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted December 25, 2009 I find the isolation at Christmas the worst thing. We're cut off from family because we don't fit in with them and it doesn't work for us to go down to visit and Jay hasn't any friends to share the holidays with. It's just the three of us and we'll be okay, have a nice time, but it's far from what I'd like it to be, with family and friends gathering round, etc., that's just a dream for us. ~ Mel ~ Problem with the more people is the harder it is to satisfy everyone. Xmas dinner takes longer to cook and eat more demand for who talks when. More problems with what game to play. i think you've done the right thing by not subjecting your son to potential upset. Alexis Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
