Does your child bring his pillow and bedcover down?

[JeanneA]

Since being poorly Glen has brought his pillow and bedcover down every morning. The problem here is we have a very small house, we only have 2 2 seater sofas and when anyone comes to visit I will have problems. I had hoped by now Glen wouldn't still be bringing his pillow and quilt down every morning especially as he is back at school.

[Mandapanda]

Since being poorly Glen has brought his pillow and bedcover down every morning. The problem here is we have a very small house, we only have 2 2 seater sofas and when anyone comes to visit I will have problems. I had hoped by now Glen wouldn't still be bringing his pillow and quilt down every morning especially as he is back at school.

 

Hi JeanneA

 

This might just be a hangover from being ill, and getting used to school again.

 

[caci]

Our son is 11yrs (PDD-NOS) and if he is feeling insecure, he will bring a large cuddly toy dog downstairs with him each morning. Normally his cuddly toys are out of sight in his room, but if he is worried, he feels the need to carry one with him.

This tends to stop after a while, then comes back. To be honest, I accept this, and let him continue to do it for as long as he needs to (usually a couple of weeks at a time)

 

I suppose the quilt is the same thing, a security blanket. Would you prefer a cuddly toy? If you would, then does your son have any that you could re-introduce ?

[JeanneA]

Hi I don't think a cuddly toy would work. I hope like you said manda that its early days, Glen's only just gone back to School, I will have to see how the week goes I guess.

[baddad]

Hi Jeanne -

 

I think you missed the boat on this one when he went back to school, and you've now got an established behaviour.

I think you're going to either have to 'lump it', or tackle it head on, depending on how strongly you feel about it. My personal feeling is that if this is going to cause problems whenever you have visitors then tackle it before that arises, because i don't think a 'battle of wills' at such times is going to make visits very comfortable for you or your guests and it's going to be even more distressing for Glen because what have become his usual routines are being challenged for what (to him) are casual and incomprehensible reasons.

A b&w rule like 'no bedding in the lounge' is far easier for him to understand thatn 'bedding in the lounge is okay most of the time but not when we've got visitors (and actually it depends on who's visiting because it's different if it's immediate family rather than [introduce your own variables here]...'

It won't be easy either way, but the first, I'd pretty much guarantee, will be a lot less problematic than the second.

 

hope that's helpful

 

L&P

 

BD

[chris54]

Not a pillow and bed cover but he does have a small blanket, a sort of knee blanket (which was a gift to him a few years ago) which he drags out ever so often, and a giant cat and rabbit,(Toys), and well shall I go on. But these are treated more as toys than comforts. He does tend to take over the house. When he runs out of room in one room he moves on to the next.

 

Fortunately we have the room, it all gets chucked behind the settee if anyone calls.

 

His comforter is a small beanie toy which he has had for years and is not usually far away when he is at home and goes to bed with him, many a night I wondering around the house at bedtime looking for this thing.

 

If the bed cover is a comforter then try getting him a small blanket as a substitute, put it on his bed as if its part of the normal cover, just an idea.

 

My cousins comforter was an old fashioned nappy. he carried this round with him everywhere. As he got older the got smaller , down to the size of a hankie be the time he started school, which he was still carrying round in his pocket when he was 10 but no one know.

[bid]

As Glen is non-verbal, have you tried a little card with two PECS pictures on: bed and duvet/pillow. Then when he starts to bring his duvet and pillow downstairs you give this to him, and keep saying 'No, duvet and pillow for bed'? While you're working on this, I would also have the same pictures on his bedroom door and in the sitting room too.

 

I think you will have to sit this one out, and repeat this every time, returning the things to his room because if you give in once he'll be confused. He won't like it at first, but if you want to change this behaviour then I think you will have to put up with his anger until he gets the message.

 

Just thought, although I know it must be really difficult, does he have anything he loves doing that you could use to distract him during this exchange? A favourite DVD, game, snack, etc, that you can introduce as an alternative to the duvet/pillow?

 

Good luck <'>

 

Bid

Edited January 31, 2010 by bid

[purplehaze]

Hi, if your going to use visuals prohaps you should have a picture of the pillow & bedcover with a red circle & line through the middle-like the PECS not available sign and put it on the doors of the rooms you don''t want him to take them into. XXX

[bid]

Hi, if your going to use visuals prohaps you should have a picture of the pillow & bedcover with a red circle & line through the middle-like the PECS not available sign and put it on the doors of the rooms you don''t want him to take them into. XXX

 

Yup, much better than my suggestion

 

Bid

 

[lisac]

Well i guess pick your battles. In the grand scheme of things, is it really that much of an issue him doing this? Iv'e learnt to become very relaxed regarding new habits that bring pleasure/comfort, they dont last forever , x

[JeanneA]

Hi Lisa I think you are right I guess its better to be relaxed about the situation, I probably worry too much!

[lisac]

I would say, given his level of reasoning, if he is happy doing this then just let him be . In my experience behaviours good and bad come and go. Far far less of a worry than self harming and eating the contents of the duvet

[purplehaze]

I've got too say-I agree with Lisac, you need to pick your battles, if it isn't causing much of a problem then don't worry about it-particularly if you have other issues to contend with!!!

[Sooze2]

My son still does this a lot, he is 10. One thing that worked was to let him chose a large fleece blanket (Primark) which is in a less bedroomy dark purple colour. I think its meant to be a sofa throw but it is so soft and cosy, he has it on his bed and generally brings it in the front room and even takes it camping but because of the colour its fine.

 

I never really worried about what my visitors thought about having a duvet or blanket in the front room realy - my house is for my family to relax in and if they want to lounge then so be it. Mind you my freinds are all the same way so wouldn't notice.

 

Good luck what ever you try.

[Jordasmum12]

Since being poorly Glen has brought his pillow and bedcover down every morning. The problem here is we have a very small house, we only have 2 2 seater sofas and when anyone comes to visit I will have problems. I had hoped by now Glen wouldn't still be bringing his pillow and quilt down every morning especially as he is back at school.

My son is 12 and has a habit of bringing his quilt down with him. Ive tried to put a stop to this by getting him a big fluffy dressing gown and insisting that he wear that rather than bringing down his quilt. Ive been quite strict about it and it does seem to be working

[jon79]

i still do am im30. Too cold in winter with no heating not to be under blankets when sitting/ or watching tv.Can stop once into mid Apr through to early Oct. Only have hot water for washing, too expensive to heat home.

Edited February 2, 2010 by jon79

[JeanneA]

Its not only does Glen bring his pillow and cover down, he isn't interested in any of the things he did before he was ill, I thought by now he would be playing with these things again, strange

[Willow-Tree]

How long was he ill for? Maybe he just slipped into a morning routine, instead of an 'ill routine'. I'm afraid, at 17, that I still drag my pillow and cover downstairs sometimes. Just makes me feel safer/warmer. Maybe you could get a throw for the living room and a nice cushion, that will look okay and not out of place if they are there permanently, and see if he will snuggle up in those instead of his bed things?

[JeanneA]

Glen was ill for 2.1/2 weeks. He seems ok now but has no interest in anything.

[caci]

Jeanne - I think 2.5 weeks is a long time to be ill with a cold type thing. I can usually think in terms of 3 - 5 days here.

 

I think Glenn is probably still feeling unwell, and that is why he is lethargic (sp?). Even if he is over the physical symptoms he is probably still feeling confused as to what happened when he was ill. It must be very scary to have a sore throat, headache etc and not understand that these things are temporary and will go away.

 

Maybe let things carry on for a couple more weeks, and if he is still not showing any signs of doing things, talk to yor GP ?

 

 

[JeanneA]

Well I've heard of some kids on here who have been ill that length of time so its not that unusal depends on the child I guess, some get over things quicker than others. I agree with what you've said though about the cover I will give it another couple of weeks and see if things get back to normal. I don't want to go back to the GP though as I'm not happy with him.

[lisac]

Well behaviours come and go , even if there has been a long break . My son has suddenly started taking his coats/jackets out of his wardrobe and placing them on the floor, then asking/telling me to put them back! All night he's been doing this . So ive tied the wardrobe handles together for now so he cant get to them. Its some sort of ritual and while irritating and not what id chose , i'll live with it. What about locking the duvet away till bedtime , would that work, or would he kick off?

[lil_me]

We got throws for the sofas and encouraged the boys to use those instead of bringing quilts etc down. They have one each. Works well. £3.99 in Dunelm I think.

 

As for lengths of time with a cold etc, my boys usually over a week, I have had one since before Christmas

[Sooze2]

Thought I'd add another comment, my son has now started sleeping on his bedroom floor again - I have no idea why. He makes up a really good nest and sleeps soundly all night - in fact he went to sleep the quickest last night than he has for a long time. For some reason he finds sleeping like this comforting. Still, at least he's not right infront of the door like he used to be, he used to drape sheets from the door, shelves and wardrobes to make a kind of tent over himself and when you went in he got bumped on the head and woken up!

 

Just quicky, your boy could just want to shut off. This is exactly how my son switches off when he's had a bad day or towards to end of term when he's had enough - the blanket and duvet come into the frontroom along with cuddley toys, tv goes on and he zones out. I think he feels safe and cosy - like it is when they are ill and being looked after and having their snacks and drinks in the front room where its nice and quiet. He does this a lot now and I'm sure its just that there is so much going on at school and so much homework etc etc that he just needs to chill at home and have no demands on him.

[JeanneA]

Hi Glen is still bringing his cover & pillow down. I don't feel he has got over being ill think it did probably scare him as Glen isn't a child who normally gets ill very often. He is showing signs of anxiety again at School, hitting his head which he does when he is upset/anxious/not well etc. The staff have no idea why Glen is doing it as it happens very randomly.

[justine1]

Hi Jeanette

Have you been back to the GP since he returned to school? I think it would be a good idea,could be something linked to the cold,like an ear infection.

 

M Sam must have same cold,he got ill just before Christmas,then seemed to improve between new year and about the 18 January,he has been ill again but since yeasterday seems to be okay,not so snotty The weather doesnt help much.

 

He may also just wish to be home after his long "break" at home.Sam can take weeks even months to get back to a normal school routine,after holidays etc.