Any suggestions ...

[Hectorshouse]

Our SENCO has received a copy of a confidential psychiatric report that she was not on the list to be copied, and has taken in upon herself to reply to the psych's findings.

 

T only attends school p/t (part of a long running battle with school to acknowledge AS they wanted to dispute dx in favour of ADHD dx which has since been refuted), p/t attendance was agreed at a PSP meeting (Dec 04) by the bods NOT me, the psych picked up on this in his report and the SENCO has told him that it was my decision, and even though we now have increased provision I do not want him to attend f/t as it makes him to tired ... complete bull! I wanted a a gradual reintegration. She also denies that they haven't acknowledged AS, they do NOW but only after having to go through the dx process again! She even says that all teacher have had 'some' training with the Autistic Advisory teacher, teachers had the opportunity of a drop in with him if they wanted any advice ... I'm not sure how many actually did this ...

 

Firstly this report was CONFIDENTIAL and I had asked for it not to be copied to the SENCO, secondly she has blatantly lied about my part and I have minutes of meetings to back this up. Finally she disputes the fact that they see T as a 'naughty boy' ... read the following quotes and tell me what you think ...

 

T is ' non-compliant, rude, shows no respect especially for TA's working with him, although it is noted there is a degree of control here'

 

'he constantly pushes boundaries, but this has now gone to the point of him openly defying authority and carrying on doing what he wants'

 

hmmmm ... sounds like a naughty boy to me, not a child with AS who is extremely distressed, doesn't understand the work, and has a SENCO whose attitude until very recently was he had ADHD not AS ...

 

I am furious, to put it politely, I saw this woman on Friday she was as nice as pie to my face, no suggestion that this letter was going to drop on my doorstep during half term, PP who were there at all meetings totally disagree with her comments and on her advice as school say it has been my decision for T to only be there p/t even though we now have increased provision, I will be taking T in on Monday to stay f/time, they have 25 hours from the LEA there are no more excuses ...

 

Any suggestions, I am so mad at the moment, everyone of the bods are on annual leave because of half term. I thought I would write to the dir of ed, HT, governors, Head of SEN at the LEA to start with, I am planning a meeting with HT as soon as I can get hold of her.

 

sooo frustrated .... HH

[oracle]

T is ' non-compliant, rude, shows no respect especially for TA's working with him, although it is noted there is a degree of control here'

 

'he constantly pushes boundaries, but this has now gone to the point of him openly defying authority and carrying on doing what he wants'

 

 

Hmmmm sounds like a SENCO with little if any understanding of AS - hopefully the psychiatrist will realise this too!!!!

 

I will mail again later off out to the hospital with my Mum.

 

Carole

[Helen]

HH I'm so sorry that you are being treated like this <'> If I were in your position I too would be furious.

 

Be careful on how to make a complaint about this issue, as the school would have a complaints procedure - if you don't follow its complaint procedure then you'd be leaving yourself open to criticism.

 

Are you going to make a complaint about the person who sent the report to the Senco? You'd have grounds to complain against this person for divulging confidential information.

 

I'm glad to hear that you have a copy of the minutes of the meeting and that these accurately reflect what has already been discussed, the minutes would be important to your complaint.

 

The Senco was wrong for responding to the report.

 

Good luck with everything, Helen

Edited May 31, 2005 by Helen

[Zemanski]

I would ask for a meeting with the head, possibly putting your concerns in writing to her and asking for an advisor to be there (if your authority has one for autism and if you or anyone else knows who it might be) as well as the ed. psych., PP, etc.

 

You could, instead, ask for an emergency or interim review to completely reassess the situation - you are entitled to do this and insist that the responsible officer is there too. You are entitled to put in a letter to the review (parents' advice) and from your child both of which must then stay in the statement files.

 

if you can find the advisor then see if you can meet with her/him to discuss the issues before you approach school again - ours turned out to be lovely, very knowledgable and extremely hard-headed where intransigent sencos and senior management were concerned; finding her was the best thing we ever did! We now email regularly (and as you know I am working for her) and she even decided to work with Com 1:1 herself as she felt noone in the school was up to it.

 

- I seem to be feeling better today HH

 

stay strong

 

Zemanski

[Hectorshouse]

Thanks for all the advice, as ever always very good.

 

Glad your feeling better Z

 

Just to clarify, we are currently in the reassessment process, draft statement due beginning July, the report the SENCO has is from a referral at the behest of the LEA's EBD advisor who in his wisdom chose to redefine T's dx as ADHD, but fortunately the Psych was able to reconfirm the already very clear dx of AS and co-morbidties (dyslexia/dyspraxia).

 

I've tried getting intouch with the Austist Advisory Teacher, who I am on first name terms with now, and the EP and the EBD bod, but there all on blumming annual leave

 

I did manage to speak to the head of the SEN case work team, as a copy of this letter that the darling SENCO (said between very gritted teeth) has sent to the psych, to let her know exactly what I thought of its comments, reminding her that it was the LEA EBD bod that set this referral up in the first place, and it was a multi agency decision to move to a p/t time table, NOT MINE!

 

But I have left a very nice message on the school answer phone, that T would be delighted to return to full time school as of monday morning, especially as they have the extra provision from the LEA for this now, I will be booking a meeting with the HT as soon as I can get hold of her, and then consider making a complaint through the proper channels.

 

The SENCO also copied her letter to just about everyone EP, Paed, EBD, AAT, CAMHs, Geneticist (I haven't even met him yet!), GP, and Special Ed .... she omitted from her list Parent Partnership and our Social Worker ..... but I have kindly copied them for her myself

 

I am spitting tacks at the moments, bl**dy half term AAAAGGGHHH ...

 

Ok am taking deep breathes again now ...

 

Helen you are absolutely right there was no need for the SENCO to respond to this report, they gave their assessment to the psych in Feb and we saw him in March, the Psych asked me then if I wanted the school to have a copy, and as our relationship has been a bit rocky since T started there I asked him not to. The psych had all the relevant info, EP reports, PSP's, original DX info etc ... as well as the schools own recent assessment, he compiled his report based on the evidence he had recieved and from his very thorough assessment of T.

 

Interestingly, when we had our visit to the Pead, he also put in writing in his report that he felt it was inappropriate for T to only be attending school p/t ... SENCO didn't write to him, I just don't think she likes to be criticised, well she had better watch out on Monday!

 

HHxx on a mission

Edited May 31, 2005 by Hectorshouse

[Zemanski]

Go for it HH

 

 

why is it that these letters always arrive on the first day of the holidays?

 

 

In Oct. just before the annual review I sent out a huge number of letters (copies and transcripts) because the school decided to reduce Com's support without telling us and then lied about it.

the senco's letter complaining that we weren't cooperating came at the beginning of HT and his review was on the 3rd day back- plenty of time to make sure the governors, head, responsible officer, chief executive ..... knew what she was up to - I quoted the code of practice and children's act!

I'm sure they loved me - coming back off holiday to that.

 

The review went with a bang!

 

His support was back in even before the review.

 

you have to be so firm with these idiots

 

 

Zemanski

[phasmid]

Oh boy, what a flipping mess.

 

One thing at a time. I would be asking what the hell the pysch was doing by sending the report to anyone other than those you had given permission for. I would be looking for a written apology from them at the very least.

 

The SENCo was, in my opinion, bound to reply to the letter. Unless she was aware that she shouldn't have had it, why wouldn't she? That said, to put in writting things which you are able to prove are wrong is simply asking for trouble!

 

As someone else has already pointed out, the school will have a set complaints procedure. Get a copy (they CANNOT refuse you a copy) and follow it, to the letter. Likewise the LEA procedure. If you try to skip a part they will use it against you. Red tape, I know, but don't fight against it - fight with it. Everything in writting is my motto. If you are unhappy with the senco's response to this letter (and her cc's of it to all and sundry) tell them to strike this off the record as she is responding to information she should not have been party to.

 

As for Monday well, if they're so keen I'd take them up on it. If the agreements have all been put into place for him they should expect him to be there and everything should be waiting for him. I'd have gone with a gradual return, but if thats what she wants....

[Hectorshouse]

and to update ...

 

We arrived at school bright eyed and bushy tailed at 8.30 a.m. T was very excited to be going back f/t, I couldn't see the HT straight away, but her PA gave me a copy of the schools complaints policy after I asked for it having been advised by my SEN solicitor (a little white lie, I didn't ask him, but I do have one, just can't afford him) that it was essential that I follow the procedure. Also, gave her a copy of the SENCO's letter. Whilst all this was going on SENCO was rushing about, came to see me and asked if I wanted to talk to her or just the HT, to which she was told the HT! Deputy Head, came to see me in reception, but as he has not been in on any of the meetings unlike the HT I felt it was more appropriate to speak to her. Lots more frowning and staff scurrying about ...

 

I came home and waited, and then got a call from the HT, was able to see her at 11.30 a.m., she was EXTREMELY!!!! apologetic about the letter, came up with some dross about it being the end of term and the SENCO was tired and probably should've worded it better. BLAH BLAH

 

I have asked for this letter to be retracted and removed from all files, as this is a very damning letter and proposes that the current situation is one that I have orchestrated, and not infact that this was a multi agency decision that I have never been happy with and have fought ever since. And if I had known back in December what I know now, I would never have been steam rollered into agreeing to it in the first place.

 

She wasn't happy with T being brought into school out of the blue ... as this has obviously caused some problems for staff ... I did appreciate this, but felt that now they have 25 hours provision and the supposed training required I did not anticipate that there would be any further problems ( I can hope though .... can't I). She also felt that I had drawn T into my disagreement with the SENCO, but I said that this happens every day, when the SENCO tells T that if he's being 'non-compliant' then she will call mum!

 

I also had to see my GP to set the record straight, I do not want any kind of comments on any file that could hinder what I am trying to do, or worse still for these to be used against me. We have all read about the damage done to Debbie Storey, and this letter clearly intimates that this has all been my decision and that I have been using T for my own means.

 

Anyway, waiting for the retraction and apology from the SENCO, T is now at school f/time (YIPPEE!!) I just hope it doesn't all go pear shaped too soon.

 

HHxx

[Suze]

Gosh just caught this thread ...HH what a mess I hope you manage to sort all this out.It makes you want to .

[phasmid]

I also had to see my GP to set the record straight, I do not want any kind of comments on any file that could hinder what I am trying to do, or worse still for these to be used against me.  We have all read about the damage done to Debbie Storey, and this letter clearly intimates that this has all been my decision and that I have been using T for my own means.

 

Anyway, waiting for the retraction and apology from the SENCO, T is now at school f/time (YIPPEE!!) I just hope it doesn't all go pear shaped too soon.

 

Well done for sticking to your guns. You want the above retractions IN WRITING, do not accept just a verbal apology. Likely as not that will mean the records haven't been altered. You would be well within your rights to ask to see these files (Data Protection/Freedom of Information acts) and check this has, in fact, been done.

 

Hope T is settling OK.

[Hectorshouse]

Thanks Phasmid, T seems to be settling back in ok, but it is early days yet, he has only had to go to his quiet area once today and once yesterday when he was stressed which was good, but mind you that was according to T, he has also said he hasn't 'lost it' with his TA and hasn't been swearing, but whether thats totally true I don't know. When he gets really stressed the verbals just seem to pour out and he has little memory of it afterwards.

 

I am definitely getting the apology and retraction in writing, yes sirree bob! After what they've put us through this last 6 months, damn right. I am waiting for the draft statement to come through (1st July) and then I will be back into school to go through the records to make sure I haven't missed anything, or that anythings in that shouldn't be etc ...

 

Thanks Suze, yep it has been a hell of a mess, but its sorted, I have been 'compliant' and passive through far too much of this, not any more

 

T has come home with his new timetable, colour coded for easy reference for him, laptop provision marked out, TA provision marked out, 1:1 highlighted, and have successfully managed to get him disapplied from languages, I mean come on he can just about manage English, so all in all it seems like it has been a success!

 

But the proof is in the pudding, we will have to wait and see, what really gets me the most is that this could've been done blumming months ago, there was no need to do this, it has so far cost me my job, my degree, nearly my relationship, and it has cost T his self respect, self esteem and shrunk his already small world beyond belief. I can only hope that things will get better, but we have the statement to finalise yet , and that looks like it could even more fun that this ...YIPPEE!!!

 

HHxx

[admum]

good luck. im a lwayer and still cant sem to get it right for son. The system stinks. Legal aid should be available for the child and not the parent. That would redress the balance. Oh and yes make the Leas pay when they lose at SENDIST as the reality appears to be that its parents not leas winning. I may be mad cant spell anything more complex at this time of night. I wish that I was a specialist in this area. The :eas seem to have it all too easy.

[call me jaded]

GMC and other links on Patient Confidentiality here:

 

http://www.prs-ltsn.leeds.ac.uk/ethics/doc...dentiality.html

[Zemanski]

don't let them finalise that statement without looking at it with IPSEA or NAS

 

good luck again

 

Z

[phasmid]

Agree with Zemanski. If they do try and push this through without proper consultation with you you CAN get it thrown out and make them start all over again. When you get your copy acknowledge reciept and tell them you will have comments to make on the statement AFTER you have taken advice. If you don't like a part of it you are (as with IEP's) entitled to have them make changes - do not let them try and say otherwise!

[Hectorshouse]

Thanks Phasmid and Z, am ready and waiting for the statement, when all this ho hah began back in December I began reading and reading and reading, finding fab fourms like this one, and asking loads of questions. I'm armed with handbook from ACE, loads of info from IPSEA, a stack of stuff from the NAS, all colour coded and organised (god I sound anal but being 'slightly' OCD had its uses). Copy of my well read COP and Toolkit, and DDA never far from my puter.

 

I wait with baited breath, and have resigned myself to wait until 1.7.05, which has a big ring around it on the calender. Thats the due date of our long awaited amended statement.

 

I know, I really should get a life!

 

HHxx

[Hectorshouse]

For the record ... if I haven't bored everyone to death yet that is ... this is the original letter ...

 

"Dear Dr K

 

Re: T

 

I thought you would like to know that T only attending school part time was due to mother feeling that he should only attend to participate in activites that he enjoyed. Even though recently we have had provision increased, she has felt it more appropriate to keep the same level of schooling partly because he tires easily and when stressed his behaviour is obviously more confrontational.

 

We do not see T as a naughty boy and are fully aware of his diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. In fact his keyworker was selected deliverately as she has a child herself with the same diagnosis.

 

All subject teachers have had some training with P B, Coomunication Advisory Teacher, regarding Asperger Syndrome, and we have many strategies in place to support the difficulties he may face. At a recent training course we were congratulated on our provision and the adjustments we have made.

 

I hope this information is useful.

 

From the SENCO !

 

and cc'd to me, EP, Paed, EDB advisor, AAT, CAMHs, Geneticist, GP, Spec Ed C Hall."

 

and this is the retraction/amended version

 

"Dear Dr K

 

Re: T

 

T was attending school part time after it was agreed at a Multi Agency Meeting that this was the best way forward. Initially, a timetable of mainly one to one sessionsd was arranged involving only subjects which T enjoyed. This was organised to raise T's self esteem and provide him with a positive experience of school. A planned re-integration programme was organised at the next Multi Agency Meeting with a gradual increase of the time T was to be in school. Mrs W attended all meetings, participated in the decision maknig and seemed in agreement with all of the plans of action.

 

We do not see T as a naughty boy and are fully aware of his diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. In fact his keyworker was selected deliberately as she has a child herself with the same diagnosis.

 

All subject teachers have had some training with P B communications Advisory Teacher, regarding Asperger Syndrome, and we have many strategies in place to try and support the difficulties he may face. At a recent training course we were congratulated on our provision and the adjustments we have made.

 

Please find enclosed minutes of the last meetings detailing some fo the provision we are making."

 

(cc'd as above)

 

With a cursary note on a comp slip.

 

NB: Mrs W

This letter replaces my earlier letter of 25.5.05, which I ask you to remove from your records as in haste the wording did not reflect the Multi-Agency approach adopted to plan for T's educational needs.

 

I'm not sure what I think about the difference, I'm getting tired and bored you all I'm sure, but what does anyone else think?

Edited June 9, 2005 by Hectorshouse

[call me jaded]

Some lovely back-peddling there! I'd be pleased with that. Of course you will be doing no such thing as removing the original from your records.

 

On the minutes. Were your concerns, etc noted? I would be tempted to write a short letter to draw attention to where this is recorded.

 

Save your energies for the statement. This is a legally enforceable document and where your priorities lie, IMHO.

[Hectorshouse]

Thanks jaded, yep I am saving my energy now, got to move in about 6 weeks as well, and haven't found a house yet, so that top of my list now, if I can drag my butt away from the puter that is, I hate packing and I'm such a time waster, I keep getting side tracked.

 

My partner has suggested hiding the keyboard from me for a while ...

[Hectorshouse]

I know here I go again, but after having resigned myself to some time before the statement comes in, foolish me! I have just been up to pick up from school, get collared by the TA with a very distressed T to go and see the SENCO, and then taken up to the HT's office. SENCO couldn't look me in the eye, was very off with me, can't say I blame her, I did haul her over the coals this week.

 

Anyway to get to the point, the SENCO kept trying to say that is was because he was back f/t it was obviously toooo stressful for him etc .. etc .. Apparently T had a stress this morning about registration, didn't want to go - reason being, it was reading, and as he said to the SENCO and HT "I can't blumming read, I don't want to look at picture books, everyone else is reading, I want to read" was crying, scratching himself, pulling at his hair. And all the SENCO could say was we have other books that are easy to read T's response "but its embarresing!, I can't stand it". They have now agreed that on thurs reg he will go to the centre and have supported reading, I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS ALL ALONG!!!

 

Also, the return to f/t has not gone well, no surprises there, but they feel the need to call an urgent planning meeting with bods, fine not a problem, I agree, get home SENCO calls and wants to make it for tomorrow at 10, I'm sorry but no can do, PP lady is off tomorrow, can't get hold of my SW until monday, and that I needed BOTH the people to be included in this meeting. Lots of huffing and puffing down the phone, OK then we'll have to see what we can do. I'm not being stupidly stubborn, but I am not walking into another meeting without support, and I not being steam rollered into anything again.

 

Round and round the merry go round I go, just about had enough, I had to sit and look at my little boy, obviously sooo frustrated, sooo upset, all he wants is to be the same but he can't do the work the same, oh for f**k sake, I've just about had enough

[call me jaded]

It never rains but it pours.

 

What is the school's method of teaching reading? Look up the Clackmannanshire research for teaching reading with synthetic phonics. It seems to reach more children than the current National Literacy Scheme or whatever it's called. More specifically it seems to reach visual thinkers such as boys with dyslexia.

[Zemanski]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

don't so much as sniff at that meeting without your support there - and get them to minute it properly if you can (maybe your PP lady will do that so it's acurate - the last minutes we got from a meeting were complete bull and didn't include half of what was said)

 

on reading there is a thread somewhere

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=2328

 

good luck

 

Zemanski

Edited June 10, 2005 by Zemanski

[phasmid]

Stick to your guns HH and don't go without support. This meeting should also be minuted. Don't let them set a time limit on it either!

 

I always advise people that you write down everything you want to raise at the meeting. That way you can make sure that everything that is worrying you is disscussed.

 

Good luck.

[littlenemo]

As an IPS I almost always get together with a parent before a big meeting and put together a statement for the meeting - take copies for everyone - we usually call it 'parents advice'

 

In the statement you should first itemise the concerns you want the meeting to deal with

 

then state what you want to happen - what should be in place and how it should be managed (refer to professional advice/code of practice/the statement, etc)

 

It's sort of like the list Phasmid suggested but a bit more formal and it means if you get flustered or upset and forget something then it's there in writing the way you want to say it. It should go in the records of the meeting so it's always on file.

It also helps focus the meeting on what you want it to focus on.

 

I've recently helped 2 families avoid tribunal using this technique and our LEA never backs down if it can help it

 

Zemanski

 

sorry Nemo

Edited June 10, 2005 by littlenemo

[Hectorshouse]

OK am totally at the end of my tether ... school have been on again, Ohhh I just love monday mornings ... my bath is run but I haven't so much as put a toe it yet.

 

They wanted to schedule the meeting for 9 am tomorrow, but as I can't get PPS there or my SW I declined ... 15 mins later ... school ring again, they are going to to go ahead with the planning meeting with or without me so of course I have to go, as if I am going to let a meeting go ahead without me if it concerns my son I did make it very clear that I was not happy about going into a meeting without any support, and that any decisions that were made I would not agree to until I had had the chance to go over them with PPS and probably IPSEA and ACE (didn't mention the later, just a mental note for me!). They said that they have to have the meeting then as the SENCO is going away for 2 weeks from wednesday and she would need to be involved etc etc ... didn't seem to matter that she wasn't there for the very first PSP meeting we had (a point that I made to the secretary who had the unfortunate task of calling me).

 

I have just rung back first to apologise to the poor secretary who got the wrong end of my wrath this morning ... but I mean come on, can you blame me, but she was fine, need her on side as she gets hold of all info I need very quickly often above and beyond the call of duty, secondly to ask for copies of the staff room day book for last week, as this was T's first week back f/t and I need to see a breakdown of the lessons and the problems articulated by the teaching staff in their own words, rather than just a concise version according to the SENCO.

 

Any other advice would be appreciated, I am soooo fed up with this, fighting spirit is there but waning ... does this ever end!

[call me jaded]

Hold firm, you can do it, you're nearly there. That's all I have time for right now.

 

Try to enjoy that bath!

[Hectorshouse]

and theres more ...

 

but at least its something good this time ...

 

PPS have rung and my PPS lady will be coming 2moro at 9 a.m, it was her day off and someone rung her at home (I think I might need to give her a box of choccies) so huge sighs of relief that I won't be going in there alone.

 

Thanks for all the support by the way, I know this has been quite a long and drawn out thread, but what a bl**dy mess!!! and I didn't make it!!!

 

HHxx

[phasmid]

First post of today made go GRRRRRR.

 

They are trying to throw their weight around - how dare they! Good for you for saying what you did.

 

 

But second post made me

 

Do the school know? I hope not, might shake them up when you BOTH turn up. I'm sure the choccies would be well recieved!

[Hectorshouse]

I did think about not telling the school that I would have PPS with me, but then thought no sod it!!! told them with a smile on my face, and that she had been contacted at home on her day off as her co-worker believes this to be such an important meeting and considering the recent goings on was totally in agreement that someone should be there with me. Going out now to buy box of choccies ...

 

Have just had copies of the day book and incident log, severe discrepancies between the both, there are not as many incidents recorded in the day book as the SENCO has highlighted on her lovely little colour coded chart, me thinks that she is a little put out by my actions/reactions to her lovely letter and T returning f/t, I will be querying all this as well tomorrow, and they thought they were going to get me cornered ... oh no not likely, I might get worn out and thoroughly dragged down, but I come up fighting everytime.

 

Thanks again, I really need this support, just to know that what I am doing is right helps soooo much.

 

HHxx

[phasmid]

Just wanted to say good luck for this morning.

[LKS]

HH how'd it go was thinking of you

[Hectorshouse]

Thanks Phasmid and LKS, I haven't long been home, and am trying to absorb the meeting at the moment, will post the details later, just really glad its over.

 

HHxx

[Hectorshouse]

update ...

 

Get to school for 8.30 drop little darlings off and am waiting in the car compiling last minute notes, the PPS lady (forgot her choccies by the way, but will send them in post) was just going in so came and sat with me in the car to go over what I had prepared and discuss recent events ...

 

She had had a telephone call from the SENCO last week, basically having a go at her for advising me to return T to school f/t. To which she replied, that she was acting on the evidence that she had (i.e. the letter) and its implications. SENCO told her that me returning T to f/t was abuse ... and this was before I got into the meeting ...!

 

The meeting started with the usual gang, EP, AAT, TA keyworker, SENCO and her 2nd in command, HT, PPS and little ole me, the Psychiatrist was invited through the CAMHS nurse, but didn't come and the HOY felt there was little he could offer the meeting. SENCO proceeded to give her blurb about the current situation, and using her incident log to highlight the 'serious' increase in major incidents, to which I was able to query the day book entries to number of incidents, and got the blurb, that the TA's don't always have time to write in it, to which I said that unless they have an accurate record of the incidences and precurring events this information was as good as useless. They are now keeping a small comment sheet attached to the incident log, and have managed to try and get across that we need to reinforce the good days and/or lessons, and not to focus only the bad!

Much ho hah about about his defiance etc ... and that was her report.

 

The HT was chairing and was absolutely fab, made sure that EVERYONE knew that this meeting was about finding the best package for T. I won't bore you all with the ins and outs, but it had its heated moments, and silences, usually when the SENCO had made a comment. The SENCO and her 2nd did try and push for p/t again, saying that really this was best as this is what had been working before and didn't I agree with that ... ERRR well actually NO! T's world had been shrunk beyond all recognition, and that he was entitled to a f/t education according to HIS needs. Much discussion was made about the use of social stories to help T cope with his behaviours, and I have said that I will help with this at home, as I have had much success with them myself particularly as he has been at home sooo much and as I no longer work (because of the p/t) I have been able to much of this with T.

 

Anyway, the action plan is along these lines ...

 

> An individualised t/table, working from the p/t programme and extending it (which is what I wanted all along!) to include supported reading and literacy programmes.

 

> Social stories for coping with difficult situations.

 

> Stress breaks/walking therapy to be used if a meltdown can be detected at the rumbling stage.

 

> An incident log for good and bad to try and work out any pattern of behaviour or problems.

 

> His tutor group during a student development lesson are going to have a lesson on ASD, I am taking in my copy of 'make me normal' to be edited highlighting Maneer and his problems, as he is almost identical to T, to help them understand why some days T decides he is a parrot or most recently Darth Vader! or why he appears to get away with being abusive and then don't.

 

> Increased use of visual aids, to help T articulate when he is stressed, rather than going into a full blown meltdown.

 

> All to be review on 5.7.05 which is a meeting proposed with all concerned to go over the draft statement which should arrive 1.7.05.

 

All this took 1.5 hours, was so tired afterwards fell asleep in front of phil & fern, thanks for all the support, its another battle behind us, hopefully I can now relax a bit until the statement comes through that is

 

I really really wish this was a wind up, but her comments to PPS about me returning T to f/time constitutes abuse have really upset me, was it not the school that decided T go p/t? YES!!! this decision has cost us literally our home, my job, my degree, T's world dissapeared before his very eyes, they weren't at home with a distraught child day in day out who didn't understand why he couldn't go all daylike everyone else, isn't this abuse! Surely it is and I didn't ###### well agree to any of it, have fought it tooth and nail all the way. And to top it off, my SW who had disappeared into the midst of social services has now called to arrange an urgent home visit with me and T following a recent allegation from school ... hmmm I can guess what thats about !

 

HHxx feeling tired confused very

[phasmid]

SENCO told her that me returning T to f/t was abuse ...  and this was before I got into the meeting ...!

 

 

 

Really!This was her professional opinion was it? Can you get your PP lady to put that in writing I wonder...that would be a lovely quote.

 

 

...to which I said that unless they have an accurate record of the incidences and precurring events this information was as good as useless. 

<'>

 

 

 

Well done you. Absolutely spot on Without a full account of the why's and the wherefore's of each event these 'records' are simply no use to anyone. They could not be used as any reliable form of evidence to show a pattern of behaviour, as they don't, as you rightly state, provide any insight into what may have sparked any 'behaviour'.

 

The action plan you have thrashed out looks good to me, although it is a fairly short time span before it gets reviewed. The important thing is that they stick to it. The only thing I am concerned about is the video (My thoughts on this are on the TES website in full). Surfice to say, please make sure you see what they are planning on showing first (if you don't edit this yourself) . It could be very easy to scare some kids with some segments (imo).

[sel]

Hiya HH,

 

I'm really sorry you are having such a s**t time. At least things are moving for you now, hopefully in the right direction!.

 

It really takes it out of you doesn't it?.

 

Hope things get better soon hun,

 

Take care

Sel.

P.S Those choc's i think you should have them!.

[Carol]

just read through this thread - what a total nightmare for you - it is truly awful the way your poor lad has been treated - and as for that SENCO

 

you hang in there - you are doing a fantastic job.

 

Carol

[Elanor]

Hi HH

 

The problems you're having, and the way you're being treated just isn't fair - but you're doing great by your son - you're a great Mum.

 

The SENCO is clearly out of her depth, but the PP shouldn't have repeated her comments about 'abuse' to you. We all say things that we'd not really be willing to own up to in the cold light of day - you already know that the SENCO isn't up to her job, but I'm sure she never meant that comment to get to you. Try not to let it get to you so much - you've achieved a lot that the SENCO didn't want today, let that be your revenge.

 

Elanor

[bid]

Just sending loads of these <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Hang in there, you're doing a brilliant job!

 

Bid <'>

[Helen]

HH you're doing so well <'> <'> xxx

[Hectorshouse]

Another sh*t day in paradise

 

T was meant to go on a trip today, but on the way to school this morning big brov decided it would be a good time to remind T of his behaviour yesterday at school, and the fact that he was really rude to a member of staff when A was there. T starts huffing and puffing with all the usual no I didn'ts etc ... finally comes out with the truth and by this time, he's wound up I'm wound up and we're doing a u-turn at the school gates dropped big brov off and T and I are on our way home, nice one big brov

 

To be fair, he finds it really hard, he can't understand why T behaves like he does when he doesn't do that at home with me, big brov gets it, but a lot of that is sibling stuff its not all AS related.

 

I'm now in a situation where I'm afraid to send T to school incase in has 'a major incident' or to afraid to keep him at home in light of recent events and that maybe this will be used against me. Anyway have kept him home today, he is distraught for not going on the trip, looks like I'll have to keep him home tomorrow to recover from today's events, waiting for the SW to call, feel like I can't win.

 

i know he needs to be in school f/t but not at his own risk or those around him being at risk, I would not stand for his abuse and I don't know why he is soo abusive to everyone there, everyone except the HT.

 

Thanks for everyone's support, but today is a really bad day, ssooooo fed up