the panic attack war zone

[A-S warrior]

ok we all have them on here, me included and have no damn idea how to cope with them, once one hits it wrenches around me like a snake and gets tighter and tighter and doesnt let off. ive had them so bad before ive passed out, had seizures, thrown up, not been able to move, paced around like a mad man, you name it. mine are triggered when pepole talk about illness, symptoms, viruses, if i see blood or walk into a hospital. typical really since im very interseted in bio mechanics, nutrition and medicene. but regardless of the trigger, we all have them so i thought as a forum we can take our panic attacks to war and togeher find stratiges for each other.

 

whos in?

[lizzy-wilson]

I hate panic attacks...I wouldn't wish them on my own worse enemy. A couple of years back I found this thing on the Internet, it's called Panic Away. It's set up by an Irish guy...can't remember his name...but it worked, there were about 5 coping methods. It cost a bit but it worked and if I'm feel a panic attack comeing on, I use one of the methods 'the 21 second method'.

 

My panic attacks are set off by people being ill, or talking about being ill. If someone's been sick, I can't go near them for at least a week...it's worse when my nieces are ill.

 

Another thing is thunder & lightning. Can't stand it but I'm getting better with it.

 

Oh...and another thing is anything new that's happening or I get stressed which then leads into a panic attack.

 

 

[darkshine]

I managed to learn to hide them, it isn't a perfect art though cuz it only works for medium to lower strength ones... So I stand or walk or sit there looking "fine" when inside I feel like I'm falling to pieces, can't breathe, the world feels like it's ending and I lose control inside and just want to die rather than feel the way I do.

 

I have major problems with showing emotions at times.... I don't like people seeing me react.

 

If I have a severe panic attack I can't stop it til it's done, so I try to get out of everyone's way so nobody sees - or I don't go out... and afterwards I usually crash for a few hours cuz it drains me completely.

[robert7111a]

I rarely have panic attacks but the only situation I will have one is when I'm suddenly expected to do some group activity where I haven't grasped the task in hand because the panic takes over.

[Sa Skimrande]

My panic comes from being threatened and that threat is everyday life and dealing with authority and bureaucracy, forms, bills and explanations of how bureaucracy works I cannot understand and when I do understand I find the problem is the wording, it is not explained very well, so what I can't understand if forced to deal with it I go into panic mode a situation where others do not like being near me as I become irrational and aggressive where the urge is to just run away or tear someone a new hole, or yes, break something.

 

Panic of course is something from our past and something that can still serve us in the future, it is not an evil we must rid, but is something we must understand and control, because it has no gauge, it is a natural reaction to perception and when the perception is of a particular state an automatic response is generated, it is all to do with the survival of life, one of the most powerful forces in the universe, we must survive, life must go on, so panic is the fight or flight mechanism built into every sentient animal.

 

But a question to ask is if we feel panic, are we wrong to feel panic or is it all of us being different we all have our own levels of tolerance where we thrive, the panic territory, is it at that point we are on uncertain or unexperienced ground where we must learn more to tolerate more ?

Edited July 12, 2012 by Sa Skimrande

[LancsLad]

Good topic and one that is tackling this issue from the right direction, well done.

 

My first comment might not make sense but please stick with me on this one;

 

The more panick attacks you have the better!

 

What I am saying here is that with experience and the right attitude you can get better at reading the signs. I am now 47 and as such panick attacks have been there for a good few years now avout 43 as far as I can remember. When I have an attack or get close to one it is important that I take time to reflect on what was happening 1 second,1 minute, 2 minutes, 10 minutes, an hour, half a day, before the attack, whatever it takes to build up a picture as to why the attack happened, there is always an answer and in that answer there is part of the solution for avoiding the next one.

 

In my experience the answer is about getting control back into my mind and body. At low levels being focused on breathing and little things can work but the problem is this can simply lock stuff in and tighten up and strangulate the inevitable reaction and I can explode. When I know this is not going to work rather than intensify it I would always choose to have a lesser attack on the move.

 

The key for me is distraction to focus on something else its about taking as many of my senses and emotions into another time and place. It's not about going to war, I am not going to fight it, thats what my panick attack wants me to do rather I am saying get on with it if you can but I am doing something else instead, by the way I need my body and mind for this one you take what's left!

 

Again what I am about to say might seem odd to some but it isn't for me, so try and see how this might work for me, then see if you can think of something equally as powerfull for yourself. If I feel a big attack coming on I simply go for a climb. I used to climb a lot on a local quarry called Pex Hill. I know a lot of the routes and traverses off by heart what every move feels like how many toes I can get in a crack at what angle my foot will be at. How far each stretch is between holds where my centre of gravity lies. I know the details of each pich grip, how I stack my fingers to get three not two into a crack how rounded the rock feels which bit are gritty which holds have a little pebble embeded in the rock, move after move like this. I know what it feels like, how far off the ground it is what the rock smells like on a damp day, what the sound of the bushes at the top of the qaurry is like depending on the prevailing wind direction, and I simply go for a visual and semi physical climb again, I take my body back to a past time and place.

 

In that past time and place there was no room for anxiety there had to be balance controled breathing relaxed thought to not come off the face. There where times when I did come off but you land brace the fall and get back on, no one ever got hurt, well not badly, well not me anyway. In controling my major instances in this way I do not give a toss what anyone else thinks in the room or in the street or supermarket because I know a bit of missunderstanding is far better than them having to deal with me if I had a full blown attack, so I close my eyes and climb moving my body to follow my mind, and it works a lot of the time!

 

I went to an anxiety management course once and we did this exercise where the instructor put some music on and talked us through a ballon ride in a strippy coloured baloon above the ground in fluffy clouds I asked are they Sirrus or Cumulus Nimbus guess thats what you get with Aspies. I did the exercise but said I think I will stick to climbing if you don't mind because I have never been in a ballon on a day like that and rather than trying to make something up in a time of severe stress I would rather use something real, the instructor looked at me blankly, I am not sure if she was there to help us or sell relaxation tapes, not sure if she had ever had a painick attack or not to be honest she never told us.

 

The other thing I do with lesser attacks is finger exercises which is all based on the same priciples but a bit more conservative approach. I have a number of these but will throw one in. I can play 'classical gas' albeit rather badly, the person in the you tube video is a little bit better, lol. You would have to get me pissed to see this one A-S Warrior

 

 

 

Again this is simply something which has a real element in my life hours of trying to learn it as a party piece to be quite honest. As a result I can very quickly, in an instance in fact drop into it. In some ways I am lucky because I am not very good at playing the guitar so it takes every last bit of my concenration to get through this piece in fact I never have without making a mistake somewhere. As a result there is nothing left for my panick attack to get hold of. I simply don't fight it I say I am in charge and so I am taking the bits of me I need to go climbing or play the guitar with my hands in my pockets you do what you want with the rest im not interested, of course there is no rest to mess about with.

 

The natural conclusion to this approach is there can be nothing left for the panic attack to get hold off otherwise it will. So you can't play with these sorts of strategies you either decide on a few things and practice them a lot without the attacks to the point they are all consuming natural actions in your mind.

 

The big key is experience of knowing when you have to engage these strategies. I had a very close friend who was an international representitive at martial arts, he was not the type of person to go up behind and try and scare, you might just have got a broken nose in a nano second because of his reflexes. The truth is you wouldn't but the side of his hand might be a milimetre off the tip of your nose and a broad smile would say 'you messing with me or not!' I am not very good at martial arts but think I am pretty good at anxiety management strategies because my opponent would kick my butt if I was not every time, I don't think it is about getting into a fight rather getting into some serious training first just in case you have to.

 

Just a few thoughts.

[darkshine]

I tried the whole relaxation scene - your description of the balloon scenario made me laugh LancsLad

 

How I manage to look ok is because I taught my mind to do it - I know exactly how long I have to get out of people's sight if I lose control - not many people have seen me have a panic attack - yet I have them quite often.

 

Locking myself down may not be healthy, but it's the only thing I've found that has sort of worked - well - it's worked in the sense that other people don't know how I feel.

 

I know why I have them, I know the signs. And I know that a lot of it is to do with how I use my mind. When I have had more successful times where I've actually gained control - it has been because I have pushed the stuff away (in some way) instead of letting it bury me.

 

Distraction in one of my key methods for maintaining my outward appearance of normality. But it doesn't help the panic attacks.

 

What helps them is when I can have the large part of my mind back and keep it somewhere focused, rational and stable.

 

Although compared to a couple of years ago where I used to crack up because of the front door (before I even got outside) and where I used to have to cancel 70% of appointments because I couldn't leave the house - not even with someone let alone on my own. I see improvement at least

[A-S warrior]

intersesting posts, just a question to all, what does your panic attack feel like when it hits? mine feel like someone has injected poision in me, and i can feel that poison surging through my bloodstream, i also feel my adrenilne at maxed out levels, and breathing becomes out of my control. in servere cases everything goes dark and i see flashing lights (this is when i need to get out of there as soon as possible, i could be about to have a seizure) although my last seizure was in 1999 the risk is still there. panic attacks arnt as common as they used to be, but they do still happen. last one was when my girlfriend at the time was telling me about her period, and how she was bleeding more than usual, this is when i start rubbing the back of my head and the breathing starts going crazy, then the heart rate picks up and everything snowballs into trouble. its ruined alot of my life beacuse i diddnt have sex till i was 19 beacuse i was scared of infections and things. and there were alot of girls at school and at partys and things that i should of 'done' but my fear of getting chlamidya or something was too strong. i quess the one benifit that came from it all was that i waited for a girl i loved to much to even care about what was going to happen, and that i never had pointless sex with a girl that ment nothing.

 

another question for you all is, do you ever get that feeling when your in a crowded place and everything goes blury and your hearing starts to go muffeled? and it kind of feels like your dreaming, i had that alot as a child, but very rarely now. my sences would go out the window and everybody just melted together and it felt like i was floating. it was a mortifiying experience espeshilly when your a 9 year old.

[LancsLad]

I get a sense of the adrenaline building up as as a response to the fact that external sensations start to overload me if I can't intervene and find it hard to keep my mind from racing. This is very much a fight or flight type response. I then get a very tight chest and feel light headed. I then to go into a hyper ventalation stage with my heart running like mad, I have had a minnor one with a pulse metre on my chest after a farmer let of a shot gun unbeknown a few yards from me shooting crows in lambing season whilst I was out training on my bike in a pretty exhausted state. My HR file showed I had gone very quickly from abot 135 bpm to about 170bpm in a couple of seconds a lot quicker than a normal muscle induced response I might create in training but interestingly 10 to 12 bpm below my maximum. I took about 10 miniutes for it to calm down because of adrenaline, loads longer than normal. People around me often think I have had a heart attack, but as I have never had one I cant say if this is close or not to be honest.

[darkshine]

My heart-rate goes through the roof, my chest goes tight like I'm being crushed and then I feel like I can't breathe and I either then don't breathe or I breathe too shallow and fast. The world seems to change, it all goes faster and louder. My head hurts and I feel sick. It becomes very difficult to make myself do what I want to do. Then i feel like I described earlier in this thread.

 

I managed to learn to hide them, it isn't a perfect art though cuz it only works for medium to lower strength ones... So I stand or walk or sit there looking "fine" when inside I feel like I'm falling to pieces, can't breathe, the world feels like it's ending and I lose control inside and just want to die rather than feel the way I do.

 

 

If I fail to keep this all inside I usually end up on the floor and totally lose reality, it's one of the few things that actually makes me cry, because by that point I have lost all ability to control anything. It feels like I'm going to die. It's like I lose myself or something.

 

This is the point where if somebody is actually witness to this they better get out of the way cuz one wrong word and they can end up with me turning on them, because afterwards I get uncontrollably angry (shame, guilt, feelings of failure).

 

After that I go into shock and end up either laid down staring into space for hours or I go to sleep.

 

And that is why nobody must ever see me lose control ever... it's better to keep it inside for me for my sake, for other people's sake, for everyone really.

[Sa Skimrande]

Black outs, anyone get that one ?

 

The feeling that all the blood is responding to gravity, vision fading and sound becoming distant ?

 

One feels very stupid when it happens in town and you have a crowd around you, so it is a case of exit the scene sharpish.

[lizzy-wilson]

Extremely tight throat, struggle to breathe, my hands get cramp. Worse feeling in the world!

[Mike_GX101]

It's when they grip you so bad that you lose sensation in your mouth and throat and you feel about to collapse, all shaky and confused etc.

 

I live alone and when this happened to me the first time I was terrified of actually collapsing with no one around; that's when it hits you how serious things are and that of course triggers ANOTHER PANIC ATTACK on top of the one you've already had.

 

And to have them on cold winter evenings too when everyone else is asleep - well that's even worse!

[LancsLad]

I have blacked out possibly twice. I am not sure about this first one which was at the end of a bike race in a city centre at night with lots of light changes, noise and smells, took a dozen people out and in hindsight I think it might have been a panic attack the description of onlookers might indicate this. The riders around me felt there was something going on for a minute or so, I knew I was fighting to keep in control then apparently I just went down like a sack of spuds for no reason at all. The second time was in a night club, and I hadn't been drinking before anyone asks and I was out for about two minutes according to people there.

 

I am not sure if people picked up on the point I was making regarding having a heart rate data regarding a panic attack. This data gives me quite a bit of security in many ways. It showed that whilst I felt things were very bad in respect to heart rates, they were in fact not dangerous because I would go above this level quite a few times most weeks and I am no where near inducing a heart attack at those points. Rather there is a massive adrenaline surge but would question if this one bit of evidence is correct is this as dangerous as it might feel? In some ways this gives me a bit of security in that my attacks might not be as dangerous as I first thought.

 

I would confirm almost everthing everyone has said. Mike I have also had them on my own but fortunatly my early ones were in places with people around and so I have been scared but not that scared when no one is at home. Rather I have gone with it and then slept like the dead for a couple of hours.

[Mike_GX101]

It's OK if you can sleep but if it is minus 20 degrees outside and the wind has been howling through the rafters and your bedroom is cold and you are suddenly gripped by a panic attack...the last thing you are likely to be able to do is sleep.

 

I have been in that deeply scary double-dipping panic attack state and I've run out into the freezing cold and raced around trying to get myself into a state of normality again. It is scary when it happens not least because you don't know how serious it is.

 

Do you risk dozing like the dead or do you rise like the living and get as active as you can??

[darkshine]

When it happens to me there's no choice about "dozing like the dead" or "getting active" it wipes me out so much I have to crash for a couple of hours...

[Mike_GX101]

Where the mind goes the body follows...

[darkshine]

Good point - to be honest I think my mind just shuts down afterwards in a self defence kinda thing, it's like I use everything up and have to reset everything again and recharge.

 

By that point it doesn't matter...

 

It's controlling my mind before it even gets that bad that is the key thing.