Who of AS people is doing this ?

[Sa Skimrande]

Partly inspired by an email I have just had to answer and the ongoing hot topic of how useful is the NAS, I considered my own position now and so wish to know how many others are doing the same ?

 

How many of you are unemployed and not going out, perhaps not answering the door or the phone and spending as much time as possible locked away in their gilded cage, be that their room or their home ?

 

And how many of you don't receive any kind of external help from any organisation or other ?

[dekra]

I am undiagnosed, may never be dx so may never be sure if I am AS or not but I will answer anyway.

 

My life as it is now is stressfull as it's full of family and university life. This involves other people but I do sometimes wish I could still go back to those awful lonely years when I was able to shut myself away from the world for weeks on end. In reality I don't want to go back to those days but the solitude I do miss.

 

I did tend to hold down jobs for a few months at a time and was never out of work for long periods just a week or 2 here and there but I could never stay in one place long, I just didn't fit in, couldn't cope. And I'd go to work and come home and not go over door again or see/speak to anyone again until it was time to work again. I'd just get settled in one job when I'd get unsettled again and need to find a new job, it was like that first horrible day almost made me sick but then for the next couple of weeks the newness was easier to cope with but by the 3 or 4 month mark I'd be taking sick time and desperately looking for new employment. The job I am in now I have been doing for 5 years now and that is only because I get to work from home and I am able to interact with people only by typing, no face to face or phonecalls. For the last 14 months I have also been a student nurse and I find that very very stressful socially speaking rather than academically which is not an issue. But I want to progress and I refuse to let it get to me so I will persevere and although the stress of that and getting my son's needs addressed have taken their toll on me in recent months and I have had to see my GP for medication for depression I will do this.

 

Assuming I do have AS I refuse to let it control anymore of my life. Yes it makes it very hard for me to do certain things but the consequences of not doing some of those things make other things hard. Somethings I can learn to do and somethings I can learn to find other ways of managing. I'm not sure if that means the coping techniques I've learnt over the years are working or if it means I'm not actually an Aspie but I'm fed up of being controlled by my fears (fears is the wrong word here, not sure should it be inabilities, should it just be that general feeling of wanting to throw up at the idea of spending time with people I just don't get and don't get me but I'm sure you guys know what I mean), I know what I want I am going to get there.

 

I know that's a bit of a tangent from your OP Sa sorry.

Edited November 9, 2012 by dekra

[Shnoing]

How many of you are unemployed and not going out, perhaps not answering the door or the phone and spending as much time as possible locked away in their gilded cage, be that their room or their home ?

Not in my case, but I've read that this is "normal" or at least quite common behaviour in people (NTs, too!) who have given up their search for a job. I don't know whether you can get a dx of depression, then.

[robert7111a]

For those that have given up their search to find a job (for whatever reason), is staying indoors and cocooning oneself away from society a kind of defeatist retreat from the world?

[Sa Skimrande]

Not in my case, but I've read that this is "normal" or at least quite common behaviour in people (NTs, too!) who have given up their search for a job. I don't know whether you can get a dx of depression, then.

 

I have got a dx for anxiety and depression and I don't want it, in that I want out of anxiety and depression given I know have the answers to my lifelong questions. But the staying in and hiding comes with financial problems, no cash to go out as going out makes you think big then one gets depressed for being stuck and not answering lines of communication comes with financial problems again in that numbers I do not recognise and people I don't recognise usually means someone is after what little money I have.

 

Not that I have debts, I don't, I paid them all off and didn't run up big debts to start with as I always tried to live within my means, that is save for what I want and don't spend where spending is not needed as I realised long ago spending money can be like a drug and many depressives do it to feel better, not realising the after effects of that drug make things much worse. But people at the door and trying to get my on my phone, they always selling something I don't want and not being very savvy when it comes to sales people, I have to be rude and I don't want to be rude, so it is best they think I am not in.

 

But like everything we come to do in life, what we learn, It all comes with experience and negative experiences promote negative thinking and existences.

 

But I have to change.

[trekster]

For those that have given up their search to find a job (for whatever reason), is staying indoors and cocooning oneself away from society a kind of defeatist retreat from the world?

 

No it is going back to routine which helps people feel safe until they are able to brave the rejection from so many job applications. i applied for over 18months to try and find work and had lots of help filling in the forms. i got 3 job interviews and i was well qualified for every job i applied for (made sure i put in the desirable and the required skills that i had and only applied if i had the required skills). Close to another breakdown i decided it wasnt worth my mental health to try for work, i have been doing volunteer work though instead.

[watergirl]

This is an interesting question.......I am currently unemployed and just switching to ESA from JSA on the advice of the Jobcentre. I don't answer the door unless someone is expected, and I don't go out all that much, but I'm quite happy to be out and about if I choose to, and don't have to interact with people, and sometimes I actually need to find people to interact with....I'm sociable by nature, but not by ability.

I used to work outside, on my own much of the time, and later had a few jobs where I was trapped indoors with people, noise, a faster pace of work with many changes etc,.... and I failed and walked out on all of them.......this was all pre dx.

I tried to stay off benefits by renting out rooms (big house) but that was awful and I ended up on JSA until dx. I've just had my follow up appointment, and that's it.....no support....so I'm wondering what to do next. I feel a little cut off just when some support would be useful. However, as it is part of my nature to do things on my own I know I'll cope, and it helps being online like this too. If I'm honest I'm not too bothered about working......I worked very hard most of my life and feel I've done my bit....especially as I also have another neuro health condition that is quite hard to deal with. Having said that if the right job/pay package came up I'd give it a go, and I'm sure I'd be better off interacting with people again. I know I have become more introverted/isolated over the last 2 years, and if I stay away too long I'll lose the capacity for stress..............that capacity is a bit like a muscle, the more you exercise it, the stronger it is......you just need to know when to rest though.

[metalhead1994]

I am currently unemployed and am on JSA. I only go out to go to volunteering and no other time. In regards to answering the phone or door I am okay with that but if it interrupts me ssay playing the xbox then I can be snappy at whoever it is (apprently!) I usually stay in my room and if people come in without knocking that really winds me up

[Sa Skimrande]

Sometimes though I want to get out, I can't like today and yesterday and the day before, I have been up since 5.30 am and I should go out seeing as today it is not blowing a gale, but I wanted to go out yesterday down to the beach in the storm with my camera, but couldn't get out.

 

Work, I have done 19 years of it continuous aside from holidays with no sicky days at all in all that time and what I am like now it is a total contrast but as I tried to explain to someone last night, it is I believe I have lost my confidence, but doing nothing probably creates that.

[jacklejacob]

i did nothing and stayed in for about a year once and it made me significantly worse so now i hang on to employment/study very strongly

[oakers]

I'm in full time employment but I can relate to this thread. I absolutely HATE answering the door to people I don't know, and I really don't like answering the house phone. I try to get off as soon as possible if it is a sales person etc and I guess sometimes I can come across as a bit abrupt, but I really, really do not like the phone. If it is someone I know I'm ok but otherwise, noooo I hate it.

 

I also cannot deal with people who don't listen properly on the phone. I have many a time had to hand the phone over to someone else who's in the house for them to deal with things as I get SO frustrated that I really cannot continue the conversation.

 

That said, when I'm at work and I'm on the phone I can deal with just about any situation you can throw at me... go figure! I really don't get how I do that, but it's almost like I can switch from one me to another. There have been times at work when I've been quite distressed and upset about something that has just happened on a personal level and I can pick the phone up and no one would be any the wiser.

[Sa Skimrande]

Phones at work, one workplace they would not let us have a phone in the workshop for fear we would be making private calls but when the phone rang through the building and no one had picked it up after three rings we were required to go through to office to intercept the call. We cured them of that idea as the phone must be answered so drop greasy bearing one was about to insert into a hub and make haste to answer the phone and the phone was answered but we left our mark on the phone - the workshop was 'ere, the office staff were not impressed, especially when it wasn't dark coloured grease we had been using. We eventually got our own workshop phone and we weren't making private calls, we were too busy for that. Autistic spectrum, there were a few in that workshop and we all got on very well, there was an almost unsaid communication, but something else unusual, we were all scorpios. But the office staff including the manager never liked to venture into our domain and it was said the owner of the business had been seen walking up to the door, hesitating and turning around and walking in the opposite direction.

Edited January 11, 2013 by Sa Skimrande