littlenemo Report post Posted October 27, 2005 Gosh! What aBIG one, Baddad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted October 27, 2005 Good Gawd Baddad.......Pantiles??!! Rough as ya like Gotta be Envy........fab 6o's dancing room bit......much more fun........... "Lets do the timewalk agaiiiinnnnn" Hmmmmmmm, maybe super-heros need to be set to Envy (it's a nightclub by the way ). Secret recharge batteries mission . Whaddya wanna dance to?? Bitta Abba? Greese? ......Urm.........B**ger....what's that song from 'There's something about Mary'.......it's one of me fav's........can't bloomin' think of it now...............Grrrrrrrr.......will have to go search c.ds...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted October 28, 2005 OOOOHHH!, another bright morning in the cave.Suze tumbles from the top shelf of the airing cupboard and lands on Cinders nuts............... OUCHH!, says Suze, crack !, nut dust everywhere!Cinders immeadiately gets the dust pan out. Mel , is still contentedly snoring, but there,s no sign of Legs or the Judge any where .Cinders and Suze peer into the kitchen , they don,t seem to be there either...........very strange! Kettle on toast toasting still no sign.............Then giggling , and raucous laughter..............more giggling, Suze and Cinders push open the de-briefing room door..........and there they are!!!!!!!!!Sat up in bed together ................bold as brass ................"BOW BEFORE THE GREAT WHEN YOU ENTER" commands the judge, "whats got into you mister big head" laughs cinders, the judge gets angry, "The rules have changed Legs and I are both Demi-Gods now and deserve the respect, pampering,serving, fetching and carrying that this en-tails" ................Suze is shocked ..."Legs is this true".................."Yep "she answers "great isn,t it?".........................Well Suze and Cinders turn and look at each other AARGH!...............Meltdown ............. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted October 28, 2005 .......................oh just checked my status and it appears I,m a demi-god too............................ Sorry Cinders......................back to the cave, Suze calms down wipes her eyes and realises her mistake ............."sorry Cinders I think it might be best if us demi-gods stick together you know how it is", and she jumps into bed with Judge and Legs.............put the kettle on Cinders! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted October 28, 2005 "At least Smileymab and I aren't half human like you lot! " says Cinderella Boy, flouncing off to the kitchen. Cinders tries to put the kettle on, but it doesn't fit so he puts on his best pinny instead and starts taking out his agression on one of the Judge's more intractable curry stains on the stove. "And since when did verbal diahorr..diarea... drivel become a determining factor in godhood anyway? There must be a loophole " So off he goes to check his well-thumbed copy of 'The Larousse Encyclopedia of Mythology', only to discover that their only obvious flaw (well, ignoring all the more obvious ones... ) is that they are mortal. This isn't much use as Cinders doesn't really want to kill all the others, just stop them basking in the reflected glory of their newly-inflated egos. Oh, yes, and ordering him round like an underling. "Right, there's only one thing for it..." So splits the technosquirrels into teams and sends them off to the library, town hall, cybercafe, etc. By his calculations, if they all log on as littlenemo it should only take about half an hour to add another 300 posts to his total He sneaks to his computer to play his part. Clicks on his krism bookmark. 'MYSQL error: too many connections' back to the drawing board. just you wait... and wait... and wait... this may take some time Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted October 28, 2005 Or maybe not... I hear Tufty has just joined the krism team. Us squirrel-types need to stick together PM time, I think Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted October 28, 2005 And a 1, 2, 3.................. "Why do ya build me up? (build me up) Buttercup, baby just to let me down, (let me down) And mess me around, And then worse of all, (worse of all) You never call, baby, when you say you will, (say you will) But i love you still.. I need you, (i need you) More than anyone baby, You know that i have from the start.. So, buid me up, (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart.... Dee dum, dee dum, dee dum....." Oh, the relief........that was drivin' me crackers........oh........allready am you say...........hmmmm...........right........ok, then CB - Quite right to, you tell 'em.....more than happy to founce with you.... Demi - Gods.... .....can't live with 'em.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 28, 2005 Beware Nemo, I used to be in the Tufty Club. Do not presume he will stick to squirrel types He taught me how to cross the road and I'm not a squirrel.....honest.........so there Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted October 28, 2005 Did,nt tufty have a friend who was a ferret?..................prefferred charlie the cat myself...............get out of that poool!...you can,t swim........Charlie says.........blah blah blah....we like the hedgehogs at the moment..........whoo whoo who oo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 28, 2005 As the Angels prepare for their usual Friday Pinot, Twiglet and anything else drinkable and edible session. Decisions need to be made. What will they wear? What will tonights playlist be? Can Cinderella boy and the Angels prevent Judge Thredd from sharing his Friday night curry with them three hours after he has eaten it? We will find out soon enough.......... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 29, 2005 Oh well, maybe Saturday night instead Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted October 29, 2005 Annie what,s your angel singing/saying ?!........... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 29, 2005 Something along the lines of "oh bu**er, why does my halo keep slipping" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted October 29, 2005 Any one watch HI 5 ON CHANNEL 5 at about 8.00 am.It,s a kids programme.Thought the bat team could become aussie singing kids entertainers............bagsy being Charlie...........my daughter,s fave.Actually met the aussie 5 during their whistle stop theatre tour this year.Waited for an hour with daughter outside the regent in Hanley stoke on trent.Have to confess went all overcome when I met the guys ................lovely in realife and so good with the kids. I believe our kiddies deserve some entertainment aswell as super-hero escapades...........so HI 5 any more suggestions?...........Basil brush?...............Rod Hull and emu?Anyone got the Fimble-ing feeling?............time for tubby bye bye............Hong Kong fuey faster than the human eye(what was the cat called )..............I know I was a fan .The hair bear bunch ooh ooh Mr. Peeveley.............right I,m off got some gardening to do!..........Hate gardening Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted October 29, 2005 TV at 8.00am on a Saturday morning? Used to do that, but that was when TISWAS was on The phantom flan flinger, tea, toast and tray of treaties, Trevor McDoughnut. It didn't cure your hangover , but it made you forget about if for 3 hours Don't know anything about HI 5, but i'll be the quiet camp one (all boy bands have to have one by law) and Baddad can be the cute cheeky one (same again) But does this mean we'll have to swap our herb nerbs and pinot for raw prawns and tinnies? And Orlando for that butch one from Gladiator (Russel Crowe, I'm told) ) i think i hear rumblings from the batcave... Oh, it's alright, it's just the Judge digesting last night's curry (like Duracell batteries they run and run and run) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 29, 2005 (edited) What about Blue Peter???? Lots of sticky back plastic, 'one I made earlier' and seeing as though it's nearly Crimbo we could make the annual decoration from 2 coat-hangers and some tinsel John Noakes, Peter Purves and Val........what a team............nobody has ever come up to John Noakes standard Edited October 29, 2005 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted October 29, 2005 and seeing as though it's nearly Crimbo we could make the annual decoration from 2 coat-hangers and some tinsel You need four candles to make that... Now there's a cue for a million Two Ronnies sketches to be re-hashed... Got any o's? Now dear son has appeared at my side and wants the 'puter for the cbbc site... Laters (hopefully) BD Ben wants to send you all a Rabbit, a Ninja, and a George before we shoot through, so here goes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 29, 2005 Thanks Ben XX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted October 30, 2005 Somebody somewhere thinks I'm a batcave angel. Can I please let it be known that I merely aspire to being Cinderella Boy's understudy. Nothing too taxing, bit of light dusting and cushion plumping. BTW I've noticed during cushion-plumping CB doesn't do washing up and have asked the Fairy Godmother (is that Kris?) for a dishwasher. If we all wish hard enough... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted October 30, 2005 That'll be me As I have no understanding of names or personalities, I just made a list of everyone who had posted here lately. Sorry if you got drafted against your will. An understudy? Ooh goody As for the mountain of washing up, that is not what it is. All those towers of dirty plates are, in fact, my half-scale model of the acropolis . And all the bowls encrusted with the Judge's furry curry remnants represent the invasion of the unwashed Mongol hordes. It'll be a shoe-in for the Turner prize next year, I reckon And if we're going to quote favourite songs, here's this week's top Bonzos lyric: They say that I'm unusual But I don't think it's true. In fact I'm just as usual As any one of you. And you are just as usual as any one of me. We're usual, we're usual; A usual family. Off to take the kids to see Corpse Bride now, Toodle pip Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 30, 2005 As for the mountain of washing up, that is not what it is. All those towers of dirty plates are, in fact, my half-scale model of the acropolis . I can feel a Greek night in the Batcave happening some time soon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted October 30, 2005 CB would spend the evening in his room, looking up Stargate web sites, having misheard it as "Geek night" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 30, 2005 Would he be also looking up Zorba the Geek ?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 30, 2005 .................or watching 'My big fat Geek wedding' I shall shut up now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 30, 2005 (edited) As half-term comes to an end, Judge Thredd and the Angels are in the de-briefing room discussing the missions for the week ahead . Sitting on the floor, map of the London Underground laid out in preparation for the trip to hear tomorrow's Select Committee hearing. This will be the toughest mission yet , but nothing deters our Super-heroes, as confusing as London Underground is, they WILL succeed is getting to their destination meanwhile.......... Cinderella Boy is in the Bat lounge working on his latest model .........the Pyramids of Egypt lovingly created from his empty Hob Nob box collection . Edited October 30, 2005 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted October 30, 2005 Cheops for supper again then Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted October 30, 2005 Hi you's guys... My ******* broadband connection is ********* and ***** and ****** and ***** AGAIN! I am getting extremely ***** ******* ******* at BT and Tiscali, 'cos this is getting WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too common, and it's not like the weathers been THAT bad for the past week or so... I have one of the best engineers in India supposedly calling me back in the next couple of days: presumably to suggest I try unistalling/reinstalling modem drivers/swapping filters/restarting my pc/not looking directly at the modem etc etc for the four millionth time, but I WILL NOT REST until they actually get a BT engineer out to check the overhead cable that swings about 'like a pendulum do' in the slightest breeze and GROANS under the weight of more than one sparrow at a time -'cos I suspect this MIGHT be the crux of the problem... Anyways, Have fun without me, and rest assured even if I'm not posting I am using the odd minutes I CAN connect to check in and see what you're all up to... Now, can I connect long enough to paste this in and get it posted? here goes nothing............ L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted October 31, 2005 The super-heroes all arrive back from an adventure worthy of a Spielberg script and film, plus at least 12 oscar nominations and a few baftas.Judge would of course win for comedic performance, Cinders for clean performance and the Angels for all round un-beatable cillit bonk cleaning performance.............................Anyway back to the mission .............JT, CB, Jaded Underling, Legs, and Suze were all up for it An early start had JT sleeping- in typical .................So half an hour late and there off in the Bat buggy, capes and cheeks(ooh er) flapping in the wind (it,s a convertible).Sprayed purple with big alloys,and a huge fin on the back.(specially pimped ...at pimp my buggyR us)..............So back to the mission.The heroes are all spruced ,cod pieces and uber- thongs in place.Support bras and tights for Suze and Legs. sequins and ostrich feathers and all day lipstick(thats just for the boys)...........so ,were off, were off, were off, in our Bat Buggy, The heroes deciede to park and ride at the elephant and castle, should be a quick ride in on the tube to Whitehall and the Select Commitee Hearing.So they all jump on the tube and try to look inconspicuous ...........not easy when you,re hanging around with JT in his purple lycra and sequinned cod piece. A quick stop at Starbucks for a latte and a muffin and they arrive at they,re destination .Infiltrating Whitehall is no easy matter but the ploy that they are an eastern european circus troupe checking their visas seemed to work .They creep down the corridors (JT had to take his platforms off as they were too noisy .) Eventually they come to the room with Select Commitee Meeting written on a sign on the door."This must be it "whispers Legs............"no kidding einstein " JT adds sacastically...........he recieves a sharp thump in his from Legs,s bat bag."Sarcasm gets you no where hunny bun" ...............................so they listen at the key hole desperate to try and make out what is being discussed.Just then they all notice a rather large tea trolley laden with coffee ,tea, cakes, scones and biscuits,"I have an idea, you lot hide under this big cloth covering the trolley and I,ll pose as the tea boy ...should be easy in my pinny and hair net,"says Cinders.Excellent!.............the team enter the inner sanctum .........what will they glean?????????...............it does ,nt take long before they begin to make out the faint murmurings of flower arranging, housekeeping, 1001 things to do with baking powder...................happy gardening , and jam making for beginners.............."hold on a minute".........shouts Suze as she leaps from under the tablecloth................"what sort of a Select Commitee Meeting ...is this?"............Suze is shocked to see a room full of old grey ladies drinking tea and munching biscuits.The old dears are all shocked to see Suze in her 32 DD resplendant lycra refinery ."Hello dear this is the Select Commitee Meeting for the womens institute at Whitehall"............... ..................well there was lots of embarassment all round, but on the bright side the super heroes stayed for tea and cakes and discussed the perils of sewing sequins on lycra.Cinders signed up for the 1001 things to do with baking powder talk .Of course the team get back to the cave knackered and in need of refreshment.............open a crate of Pinot Grigio my merry mates, twiglets and a big bumper box of refreshers for Legs ............................................... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted October 31, 2005 cillit bonk cleaning performance Had to read that one more than once!!! If your mind's like a sewer you'll know what I mean Lauren ps... will write more when have more time... major super hero work going on here! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 31, 2005 Suze With more sweaty lycra than a fitness dvd , our superheroes settled down for a nice relaxing evening . Cinderella Boy had persuaded JT to stop at the Bat supermarket on the way home for a boot load of baking powder. His latest model was taking shape......the Alps. "'ere Cinders, I bet that wasn't one of the uses that came up in the baking powder talk". said Legs looking at the ever-enlarging mountains . "shhhh", said Suze, "while he's a happy , leave him be, he's had a long day, bless him". Jaded Underling was plumping up cushions in a fashion which brought a nod of approval from Cinders between mountain building Suze and Legs were sprawled on the Bat sofas, glasses of their favourite Pinot in hand, support bras slung over the dining chairs. "Girls", muttered Cinders, "I couldn't borrow your bra thingys could I? . I've run out of baking powder for the last few mountains, oh, pretty please" . "oh go on then", sighed Suze, knowing better than to refuse and risk a meltdown. JT, wiping bits of twiglet off his codpiece and knocking back his third glass of Pinot was flicking through the satellite channels hoping to catch the free 10 minutes of naughty stuff before the channel gets encrypted. "JT", said Legs, "have you forgotten, the clocks have gone back, you're nearly an hour early" . A cheeky grin rose on JT's face There is a (demi)god after all, I thought I'd missed it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted October 31, 2005 What's all this about baking powder? You should try looking at vinegar - a MILLION and one uses, apparently...A million and two if you include putting it on your chips! Granny swore by it, I'm told' and when she wrapped brown paper soaked in the stuff around grandad's split head following the legendary 'frying pan incident' of 1932 he swore AT it! I've heard if you soak your conkers in it they come up hard as rock and gleam like Diamonds... And in case you hadn't heard, Neil Diamond's conkers are very, very shiney... You know the Cillit Bonk penny test? VINEGAR! You know the Daz Challenge? VINEGAR! You know the 'Shake 'n' Vac'? VINEGAR! Pickled Eggs!! Pickled Onions!!! Pickled Herrings!!! Is there no end to this stuffs versatility? L&P BD (Gherkins) Can't give you a decent broadband connection though, so on the fifth attempt to post this, I'm orf for the rest of the night! BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted October 31, 2005 If your mind's like a sewer you'll know what I mean Mind like a sewer..............Batcave super-heroes................they go together like Pinot and Herb Nerbs Go get 'em Lauren Annie, er Legs I mean <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted November 1, 2005 After a very late night of pinot/twiglet and satellite skipping Jt retires to bed .No sooner had he disappeared then out they came, the squirrels all dressed in matching pinnies and hair/fur nets, bushy tails tweaked to a curly perfection .Underling Jaded creeps out from under the kitchen sink cupboard, also wearing her ensemble of cleaning housecoat AKA dinner ladies, and a loverly pair of rubbers(gloves!).Quickly they get to work all beavering...........(sorry should say squirreling away!)...........singing together in the words of bagpusses mices...............we will mend it ......we will fix it.........they set about removing the nasty stains and odours left by the partying super-heroes, the worst by far were those left by JT on his swivelling man-only chair.The baking powder begins to fly clouds of it engulf the cave.It,s stain and odour removing powder/powers know no bounds . The clock strikes 12 ding dong and they all scurry away quick as a bushy tailed flash.........gone into their crevices ,holes and squirrel beds............................................................................ ................................................................................ ........Tis morning in the bat cave again,Legs and Suze bounce out of the bat cupboard , and dive into the kitchen for the first cuppa of the day ........... but what is this , can it be so, a fresh smell is in the air and that chocolate stain on the floor appears to have gone.Very strange...........very strange indeed! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted November 1, 2005 Armed with herb nerbs and a cuppa, Suze and Legs take their places on the Bat sofa. "Suze", says Legs looking slightly puzzled "what's happened to Cinder's models?, they've disappeared". Suze doing a bit of channel hopping let out a scream "Legs, look, they're doing an item on Asperger's on 'This Morning'. As the girls listened, a thought came to Legs. "Shall we give 'em a call?" she said, never wishing to miss out on a chance to give their plight a bit of exposure . Phone in hand, Suze explained to the producers the difficulties our children face in the hands of devious LEA's and schools with no understanding. "tomorrow at 7am, we'll be ready" Legs heard Suze say........ As Suze got off the phone, she screamed and did a somersault, a dangerous thing to do when you have humungous and you are not yet wearing your support bra "they're picking us up at 7 tomorrow morning...... in a limo", screamed Suze excitedly. "Orlando Blooming hell, we'll have to nip down to 'Superheroes R'us' and grab us some nice new outfits" . screamed Legs, almost wetting herself. Must remember to put some Tena pads on the list, thinks Legs "right, let's wake the others, we've got lots to do", said Suze. and so the day began........... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted November 1, 2005 ,....................Annie!..............................Tis mid morning and the super dudes are in a flap, Cinders is on his 6th melt down brought on by the un-believable stress of what to wear on telly.Jt is doing some sort of a stim in his revolving chair and Legs and Suze are in a panicked frenzy in the bat cupboard trying on outfits .The mission to super- heroes r us had gleaned a wealth of possibilities, now it is down to which outfit to wear.Cinders walks in a circle murmuring , yellow pinny, blue pinny, yellow pinny , blue pinny.Suze and Legs are re-gluing their hair extensions, and it seems JT is in fact fantasing over Fern Brittons fluffy pillows as he stims spinning in his chair., . ......................................(Annie it,s over to you, pick us a good outfit ). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted November 1, 2005 Underling reporting for duty. I have a mission for the Angels to go sort out the headteacher of H********* M**** school who is operating a discriminatory admissions policy. What a witch. In fact if it's not too late I need someone to hex her. [Jaded starts dusting, muttering under her breath] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted November 1, 2005 Jaded Underling, this mission will be exercised as soon as we have all been on telly tomorrow....................the witch will be hexed.(whats hexed? )> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted November 1, 2005 After a good re-gluing session, Suze and Leg's minds turn to make-up. "I know" says Legs practising her bestest TV interview voice, "let's go for the Angelina-full-pout-alicious lipstick, you never know who we might meet backstage" "brilliant" said Suze, praying that Johnny Depp or 'Our Orl' might make an appearance . The first attempt at applying their new lipstick didn't quite live up to their expectations, looking in the Batmirror, the girls let out a scream of shock "oh bu**er, we look more like Jackie Stallone than Angelina" , uttered Legs while grabbing a make-up remover pad . Three hours later , lipstick applied and looking like movie stars , no, not Wallace and Grommet , the girls begin to rummage for an outfit. Clad in only their support bras and tummy-trimming knickers , the girls try on item after item until eventually decisions have been made . The girls have plumped for black lurex (Bat)catsuit (black always makes you look slimmer) , especially-made-for-the-occasion silver lurex uber-thongs, thigh-high, six inch heeled black shiny leather boots and of course the matching Bat-mask . Continued below............... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted November 1, 2005 As the girls opened the door to the Batlounge, JT let out a whistle. "f'nar,f'nar girls I'm gonna have to sit between you two and Phillip", said JT still stimming like mad "right JT my dear, it's your turn for a workover" (ooh, 'er) said Suze grabbing JT by the arm. After a good pluck (why does nasal hair grow so fast?) pluck I said , the girls set about dressing JT. Within minutes his outfit was complete ........the girls had plumped for scarlet Lycra for Judgey boy, with silver lurex cod-piece encrusted with diamonds to form JT's initials . Suze and Legs had a slight curfuffle over footwear though, the platforms that they had ordered need to be taken back, they had asked for J to be stitched into one and T onto the other, unfortunately some moron had mistakenly put L (left) and R (right) instead . Not to worry, lucky they had grabbed another pair, which had silver bats on them. Now to Cinders.............finally..... he had decided..... He had gone for the yellow pinny with the slogan 'I love my feather duster' across the top his colour choice was good news for the girls because it went beautifully with the emerald green Lycra Batsuit and yellow fur-trimmed Marigolds. His new black platforms finished the ensemble, one having a dustpan emblazened on it, the other a brush Our super-heroes were so pleased with their new look that JT insisted on a group photo ................now there's one for the album . to be continued....................... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted November 1, 2005 You really are going? Thought that was a virtual trip (I'm tired and confused - need it to be Pinot time). Woo hoo! I'm in a meeting tomorrow morning and will miss it. My daughter was hexing half the neighbourhood last night. They so enjoyed being allowed to play out in the front garden in the dark and dishing out treats to passing kids and frightening themeselves by creeping up behind each other and going wooooooooooooooo! Shall I do you now? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
