dorsetmummy Report post Posted October 18, 2005 this is a difficuly one to explain, sophie will be 8 in 4 weeks time and i want to make her birthday special for her. We are currently in the process of diagnosis, we have been to hospital twice and on the last visit they could see how she was and are now seriously looking into the possibility that she could have aspergers. well my problem is that in the past she had always had birthday parties at a local hall/play centre etc. but as she is now behaving so badly at school, hitting the other kids, and hiding under the tables, she has issolated herslef and has no friends. Its heratbreaking for me to see. i want my daughter to have a wonderful birthday but she has no friends to invite to a party, and we only have my mum living close by no other realtives near. I am going to taker her and her younger brother and our two neighbours children to an indoor play centre, and was going to take her bowling with the one friend she does have, but today she told me that her friend doesnt want to go, maybe the influence of other kids?? I am definately gonna do the playcentre thing, and poss a tea party but its heartbreaking for me this year. just needed to get that off my chest. Julie X Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted October 18, 2005 i know exactly how you feel,steven never got invited to parties as well as having no one to invite to his,it is heartbreaking isent it,its better now as hes 12 now and it doesnt notice as much,go to the playcentre,he will enjoy himself,sometimes i think we get upset and they dont even notice if that makes sense Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted October 18, 2005 Would the 'friend' be more willing to go to the new wallace and Grommit movie,or something?xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted October 19, 2005 One of the things I've come to realise recently is that my own ideals are secondary to what my son wants. Of course I'd like him to have perfect birthdays and nice family outings but they just don't happen because he can't cope with them. I try to put myself into his shoes and work out what would be best from his perspective, try to get his ideas on the subject, work out what he wants to do rather than what's best for me, then try to compromise between the two. I've found that there's no point in trying to make him fit into a wrong-shaped hole just because it's the shape I'd like him to be. He's a dodecahedron and that's all there is to it! Karen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anxiousmom Report post Posted October 19, 2005 It is heartbreaking and I really feel for you. I've cancelled our traditional halloween party this year... I just can't stand the head torment I get... who to invite, who'll say no, who'll not even reply, who'll say yes but then not come, who'll come but just play with other guests and ignore my son anyway. The kids will notice and probably be dissappointed so I'm currently trying to think a way around it... and I'm coming down on the 1 freind 'party' type idea.... it's the way to go for now? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressed out mum Report post Posted October 19, 2005 Hi Julie We had the same problem with our son. Does your daughter have an interest in something special? At that age my son had an interest in farms so we used to have a family day out to a farm! His older sisters came and sometimes one of their male friends so that my son had some male bonding apart from his father. That way it didn't matter if his so called friends didn't want to come, although sometimes I think that the parents of the other children had something to do with it. I am sure that your daughter will enjoy just being made a fuss it's not numbers that count it how much you enjoy the day! This year we are going go-karting not sure I will enjoy this one though! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted October 19, 2005 Julie I know exactly how you feel, our son was 8 last week and we celebrated it within the family as he didn't have anyone to invite from school. As has been said eleswhere, times like this make you think about what is meeting our desires as parents to have children that are sociable an popular, and what is there to meet our childrens wants needs. On his birthday we had a couple of friends round who have young children, he was quite happy to have them there but only really played with his brother (Also ASD), the other children played woth our younger NT children. We also went for a Pizza as a family (Pizza hut is the only restaurant we go to as a family, it's quick, it's cheap, it's well structured and they are VERY tolerant), and I took him to his first football match last night (Just me and him). Within himself he has had a good birthday, and doesn't seem to mind the fact there was no party. Is there something special that Sophie wants to do? If she does want the party and she hasn't got the firends it is heartbreaking, but it may not be what she wants. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mandyque Report post Posted October 19, 2005 I had to look at alternatives for my daughters birthdays after my marriage ended, therewould be no more family get togethers as I made all the effort for the parties and it was all his family who turned up for them. I have discovered she loves to go to Pizza Hut and the cinema, so I have invited a friend for moral support more than anything, she has a young daughter who is very tolerant and understanding of my dd so she has a 'friend' with her too. Truth is, she would be happy completely alone though, she doesn't have any social awareness at all, doesn't crave friendship and other kids just get on her nerves She's been singing happy birthday a lot lately too so I think she will love it when we all sing it for her Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted October 19, 2005 He's a dodecahedron and that's all there is to it! Excuse my ingnorance, but what's a dodecahedron??? Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stressed out mum Report post Posted October 19, 2005 Hi Lauren Google says that a dodecahedron is a shape with twelve faces. Had to look it up because I was wondering that too! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
streamdreams Report post Posted October 19, 2005 Have you asked sophie what she wants? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Strange girl Report post Posted October 19, 2005 Is it possible to take something into the school for her birthday, cake or sweets to share around? That way noone has to be invited as they are all ready there, and it could just be made more of a point to have her special day acknowleged at school? Then you could do something else as a family as well. My son is 8 in Dec and I too am wondering what to do. i' m sure it'll come to me... well.. happy birthday to her from us anyway Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dorsetmummy Report post Posted October 19, 2005 thankyou all for you replies. Ye ssophie would like the visit to sharkeys with her brother and the neighbours two boys. and a trip to the bowling alley with me hubby bro, and prob still her friend, her friend is also my friends little girl, and dthey are in the same class at school. I know you are right its prob justr me worrying about it, and as long as she gets some specail treats she will have a great day. Julie X Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
