School Trip

[mum22boys]

What would you do????

 

 

M is going on a school outing next week. Last year I went along on any school outings as a volunteer. This year, new class, teacher etc i put my name down as a helper but was told yesterday i wasn't needed.

I felt sick with worry. M has had a hard couple of weeks at school with the routine going out the window because of christmas and he had to be dragged to school yesterday because of a minor change in the school day. I am so worried how he will be going on a coach and visiting a new place. I was relying on the fact that I would be going along to make sure he is ok.

I don't think the school take it seriously enough and he has already on sports day last year escaped out the school and was found in the school field screaming because he couldn't cope.

I honestly believe they have done this on purpose. When i expressed concerns at sports day because he was so worried i was asked 'Do you think it would be better if you weren't there' I think they have adopted this attitude this time.

I am praying he will be ok next week. he already says he isn't going if i can't. Part of me thinks well if they think they can deal with it let them but the other part of me knows he won't be able to and I will probably get it all when he gets back - that's if they don't get it when they are out.

 

What would you all do in my situation? Do you think he would be ok or do you think I am right to be worried?

[invent 10 things b4 breakfast]

Obviously I don't know your son, how old is he or his diagnosis but my son is now 8 with Aspergers and this happened to us when when he was 7.

 

He went due to go on a trip to the zoo and was suppose to be in a group of 6 children. We went in and said we felt that it wasn't a small enough group and that being as the person leading the group was a volunteer parent had no knowledge of Aspergers and therefore unprepared.

 

The school were really funny about letting me go (I think they don't like you to see what they do or don't do with your child!) and in the end we said that if I couldn't go then our son would not be going on the trip either, and how disappointed he would be and did they want that. They agreed reluctantly, but gave me an A4 sheet of paper with how I am expected to look after MY son and one other child Then there was no space on the bus, but I was not deterred, I drove there in my own car!

 

In my opinion it was a public place and they were not going to stop me going

 

Next year (Y5) he will be expected to travel to London and stay in a hotel overnight to see a show. I have no idea yet as to how I am going to approach this one

 

Good luck with your decision.

[nellie]

mum22boys,

 

Do you think the school staff have a good understanding of your child? Does he get support at school? Are they going to allocate 1 to 1 support on this trip?

 

What would I do? Unless I felt confident that the school could meet the needs of my child on this trip then I would insist on going with them or keep him at home. You know your child best, you will know if he is going to gain from this experience or if it's going to upset him. I would go with my gut instinct.

 

Whatever decision you make I hope it works out ok.

 

Nellie xx

[mossgrove]

I agree with Nellie, go with yout instincts.

 

The school plainly do not understand the situation if they have put you in this position.

 

Simon

[Paula]

I know what id do i wouldnt let him go.its just not worth the risk.

 

If he doesnt want to go because you cant go and the school wont let you go then dont allow him to go.You dont need to explaine youreself to the school i wouldnt.And dont feel bad or be made out to be a too fussy parent because youre not.Hes youre son you know best and his saftey comes first.

 

 

My son is 11 years old.he attends a special sschool where all the staff are correctly trained and very experianced.So i have no worries about trips.They go out in very small groups and its almost 1 to 1 supervision.

 

But theyd be no way he would go out if he was say in mainstream and in my opinion not supervised correctly or properly understood by the teachers.

[mum22boys]

Thanks for your replies.

 

M is 5 and in year 1. Your responses have made me realise i am not being a over protective mum but a concerned one. You are right about finding out what size group he will be in. I will be asking today and i will also insist he is not placed with a volunteer - teacher or nothing he won't go if i'm not happy. That's if he can cope with going anyway - we will find out next week.

I will express my concerns to his teacher today and see what she says.

 

Thanks all.

 

mum22boys

[loulou]

Hi,

 

I would just like to add that i agree with everyone about this one.

 

If your son can get 1:1 for the whole trip, and you and he are happy about it, then that's ok.

 

If he is not happy to go, then keep him at home.

 

Personally, I would not have been happy for Kai to go on a school trip at aged 5 whilst he was in mainstream. The school just thought he was naughty and had no understanding whatsoever.

 

Last week he went on a school trip to a panto (with his new special school), but he had 1:1 with his favourite LSA .

 

Definately go with your instincts. Mother knows best!

 

Loulou x

[Paula]

The teachers at a maine stream school i found like loulou says just thought he was a naughty boy and that i was the problem.So if i tried to interfear i was met with oh mums always make things worse and i bet if we were in charge minus the mum hed behave like normal kids!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Got me so angry.

 

They even said that why oh why was i bothering shoveing him in a special school because hed never be able to read write count do anything and i was wasteing my time.

 

Well he can read,he can spell,he can count and waite for it he did a science stat test and gained a grade 3.So put that in youre pipe you doubters.What they meant was that they hadnt a clue how to go about teaching him.

[phasmid]

A risk assesment MUST be carried out for all school trips. They cannot base these on the previous trip either as things may have changed. This assesment must include details of any pupil difficulties that could be faced. In your son's case that OUGHT to include the full run down of things that could trigger a meltdown, new place, no mum etc etc. Ask to see it. I really don't know for certain one way or the other if this is a public access document though so your request might be refused. If they let you see it and you are happy with this assesment and you feel comfortable with what it says, let him go. If you're not then tell them why you're not. They should react to your concerns. After that? Well, it's going to be a judgement call by you on this. You know him best, you also know the school. Only you will know if they really have covered all possibilities or not.

 

I will say thisthough, the trip should, in fact must, be fully accessable to him. If it isn't then the trip should not go ahead. They are required by law (DDA amongst others) to act this way.

[mum22boys]

I just wanted to keep you updated.

 

 

Your words of support gave me courage to speak out today anout my concerns. I told his teacher i wasn't happy, mainly because of the sports day scenario and that it is a serious matter. His teacher said she had been thinking about it and she would if necessary be with him on 1-1 basis. She agreed to sit next to him so i did feel happier. HOWEVER........

Whilst i am talking to her he is getting very agitated because the school xmas fair was after school, the playground was full of people and he couldn't cope. So she saw first hand the problems. He shouted abuse at her then tried to trash the classroom whilst i ran round after him trying to stop the whirlwind of distruction. He threw chairs, their models, the craft box and paper until i contained him. Teacher was in shock, she ran to get help.

After half an hour he was ok. She however had seen the other side to him. I'll see what she says next week with regards to the school trip!!!!!

[phasmid]

Well they can't say they didn't know how he could react to odd situations now, even those in familar places! Hope it all works out for the best.

[Paula]

To me that proves shes hasnt a clue how to cope what to expect or anything.

 

Dont let him go.Youll be worried sick all day long its just not worth it.It realy isnt.At 5 years of age come on a school trip isnt that vital to educational needs.I know its just my opinion but itll cause more harm than good.

[phasmid]

Curious to know what happened. Did he go and enjoy it, go and hate it, go and not say what he thought or did he not go at all?

[Zemanski]

Com went away on all trips and in fact did 3 week long residentials at primary school.

 

From Y3 (in KS1 I always went) he always had 1-1 from an LSA who knew him well, even before he had diagnosis or a statement, for the residentials the teacher and LSA asked me in for meeting and we drew up a sheet of pointers to make life easier.

 

I trusted them because they trusted me and consulted me.

 

Com always had a great time.

 

trips can be brilliant but must be carefully planned

 

Zemanski

[reuby2]

Like Zemanski , my son did okay and enjoyed himself at this years outing which was to the pantomine.

His last experience at the panto ended up with him screaming at the top of his voice and he was petrified, to be fair it was aladin and there was a huge hologram that was moving it's lips and filling the auditorium with a loud wierd voice ( i was a bit scared myself!!!!!) and this was supposed to be suitable for a 4 year old !!!

 

So now in year 2, everyone was going to the panto and although I didn't want him to miss out I was also really concerned and questioning whether it was worth him getting upset!!!

 

He didn't want to go but I worded it that it was somewhere his class were going to and he accepted that.

I had spoken to the teacher and was going to wait outside just in case!!

She thought it would be better if I wasn't there but wanted to take my mobile number and promised to ring me if he was at all unhappy.Anyway I sat by the phone and it didn't ring and when I picked him up he had had a fantastic time and looked really happy.

I know that if I was there and he looked slighty scared I would have taken him out, however without me he learned to cope in his own way and came away with confidence and a positive experience. I was so chuffed to hear how much he enjoyed it-----Something that he wouldn't even attempt to do with me and Dad!!!

 

I feel that we have moved on a step. For my son me not being there was a positive thing, everyone's situation is different but i just wanted to say that sometimes they suprise us with what they can actually achieve without us.

 

Take care, hope it goes well

[mum22boys]

Hi,

 

Thanks for all your replies and advice. M went on the panto trip and much to my relief he was fine. His teacher sat next to him and although he didn't join in with the other kids it went ok.

[loulou]

Hi,

 

I'm glad the trip went ok. Stressful for you though!

 

Loulou x

[phasmid]

That's brilliant to hear. I am really pleased that it all went off without a hitch.

[DAS999]

This might sound a bit harsh but this could be a good learning curve for the school. Your first priority is to your son and to make sure he is safe, please do not get me wrong I do not want your son to suffer but it may be good for the school to see him in a strange environment without his support system (you).

I hope all goes well and I hope this has not offended you or sounded bad but somtimes it is worth others seeing what you see. My G/F had a major meltdown a month back which was witnessed by friends and the GP I called out and people seemed to take a different view after they saw it, The GP especially.

Good luck to both of you.