Dx in writing

[DAS999]

We had a follow up appointment and now have a firm diagnosis of Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I asked why the doctor has said this rather than his first diagnosis of Aspergers. When I asked why I was told that it was a better diagnosis for my girlfriend as it put less expectations on her and that she displayed too many "autistic tendencies" to be Aspergers. They said that although 70 percent of the time she was "high functioning" (whats this mean) the other 30 percent of the time she was "classic autism" (again what is this).

I know I should be happy with the diagnosis and I think I am but reality has hit home very hard. It does not change my love for her (she is my world) and I will not stop caring and supporting her but it has broken my heart. Upset is an understatement. I never thought I was an emotional person, this has proved I can be.

Sorry just needed to vent my upset.

[lindy-lou]

aw das <'> <'> <'> try and think of it as the beginning rather than the end,at least now your G/F can get the appropriate help and you know where shes coming from,aspergers is an ASD,it may make things clearer in her head too,knowing that there is a reason for her being the way she is and shes not just "odd" , is she open to learning about her condition?knowlegde is power,and you can educate her yourself,das i sincerely hope that when my daughter and nephew grow up they find someone as wonderful and caring as you,your a very special person and i know you will deal with this with dignity and grace,your g/f is a very lucky girl to have found you

 

lynda x

[Brook]

Hi Das, <'> <'>

 

As you will have probably read by now, even if a dx is expected it can still really stir up emotions, obviously I'm talking from a parents perspective but can imagine that it is exactly the same for you, a rollercoaster of emotions. <'>

 

I too would be happy if my son met a partner as caring as you when he is older, but Das please remember yourself, I know it's easier said than done, but you are going through an emotional time too.

 

I dont know if this following link will be of any help with your questions.

 

http://www.autismvictoria.org.au/diagnosis/#autism

 

Sending lots of these <'> <'> to you and your partner.

 

Brook

[ceecee]

Hi Das

 

I think a diagnosis for anyone is a shock even if you are expecting it.yousound like a fantastic caring guy.Please remeber to take time out for yourself though to get your head together.At least with a diagnosis you can perhaps get some kind of help if needed for your girlfriend and hopefully if she is willing learn more about the condition together.there should be more people like you in the world.i think your story gives many people hope on this forum.

 

Take care of yourself <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Guest flutter]

think this is something we all go through

has been a few months since we got the 'papers' and still we have ruff times

read and learn, and life will change,

take care

C xxx

[baddad]

Hi das -

as everyone's said, a time of very mixed feelings, so take it easy on yourself.

In real terms, nothing has changed - your g/f is the same person she's always been. What's really good, is that now she may have more of an idea about WHO that person is, and start coming to terms with stuff that maybe she's been internalising for a very long time. That's a wonderful opportunity for both of you.

Support networks for adults are (as you've already found out) few and far between, but at least you are on the inside track for what is available now. I hope it makes things less uncertain and problematic for you both...

Two weeks to go before christmas... a bit longer would have been nicer, but you've got a couple of weeks grace to get a little acclimatised. After that comes the big 06 - And what better start could there be than to have some questions answered and a better understanding of how to move ahead

L&P to you both

BD

[Elanor]

DAS

 

I'm so glad for you that you have got a confirmed diagnosis, and I really do understand that you feel heartbroken - I will never forget how I felt when my son was diagnosed. It feels like heart break, but its really shock - take some time, and you'll come to terms with it bit by bit. Be kind to yourself, and remember that you really are a wonderful boyfriend.

 

Elanor

[Suze]

Hi Das <'> ............it,s a strange time the dx, I remember being told by the physch, but it really hit home when the letter arrived. ..........This gives you the ability to hopefully access some help for your girlfriend, has she had any counselling or CBT?...........How does she feel about the dx.Do you both have supportive families?...hugs to you both <'> <'>

[lil_me]

<'> From someone who knows how much of a shock even an expected diagnosis can be. You've proved on here what a caring and supporting partner you are and I wish you all the best for the future, it's only a piece of paper and will hopefully help open doors of understanding, but apart from that she's still the woman you've fell in love with and always will be.

[reuby2]

I know exactly where you are at the moment as the proffessionals use all kinds of words when they speak to you and then seem to change their minds and confuse the issue. We were told in a conversation with Camhs that son was high functioning autism then when it came through in writing it said ASD, when i rang to clarify, the pyschiatrist talked herself into knots saying that because he had no language delay he didn't fit into that catagory!! but that he is on the spectrum. I wish they would just be clear about things.

 

Right now is a really emotional time for you both.But remember she is the same person she was yesterday and the dx changes nothing in that respect.Perhaps now you will both be able to get some support. I really wish you all the best and I know you'll get support here. I felt terrible when we had son's dx 4 weeks ago but the people here have made me feel so much stronger.

 

Take care,

<'> <'> <'>

[supersec]

DAS can't add anything to what everyone else has already said but wanted to send you both these <'> <'>

 

Supersec

 

xxx

[barefoot wend]

It's always difficult seeing it in 'black and white'. Take care you're doing a grand job.

[DAS999]

Thanks for all the posts. In answer to a couple of the questions you asked.... No to families. I don't have one and my g/f's parents are very anti disability (stuck in the 9050's) and we have had no support or CBT yet but she is on the waiting list for CBT but its quite a long list!! Oh well life goes on and you are right the dx does not change her I am just hoping it changes the people around us in to understanding why!

Thanks again to you all

 

XX