Is the teacher being deliberately awkward?

[Flora]

A bit of a rant, and also wondering what others think of this.

 

William's had the same teacher for about 2 years, and he makes no secret (to me) of the fact that he doesn't really like her. I've often suspected that the feeling is mutual, but it's really starting to irritate.

 

These are some of the things she's done in past:

 

Hauled him out of assembly because she claimed he made the V sign at her. He was in fact scratching his nose and had no idea until this happened what the V sign actually means.

 

On several occasions she has mimmicked him when he's been upset, and ridiculed him in front of the other kids. (like, oh just ingnore him he's being silly, that sort of thing.)

 

Called him selfish on several occasions

 

Those are just some of the things she's done, and they can occur on a daily basis.

 

Today I was picking William up from school at 12, he has a half day every friday. But I had to take his sister to the orthodontist at 12. So I rang the school this morning asking the receptionist if she could ask his teacher to let him out at 11.45 instead of 12.

 

I got there at 11.47 and there was no sign of him. So I went in to his classroom (which is a portokabin) to get him, he was still working and seemed surprised to see me so early. I signalled to the teacher but she totally blanked me. There was a lesson going on so I just ushered William out. When we were in the car he told me that he had seen the receptionist come in to the classroom and that his teacher looked annoyed. After that there were a few children watching the teacher do something on the computer; william couldn't see properly so he'd moved round to the side to try and get a better view. She lashed out at him saying ' William you're clearly not interested in this so you can go and sit at your desk and do some more of that English'. Which is what he was doing when I went to get him.

 

I'm so p'd off;first of all that she totally ignored my request for him to come out a bit earlier, and secondly that she would take her annoyance out on him. It's so petty that I can't see what could be achieved by talking to her, but it is so horrible of her that she should single him out like this because he is different.

 

Lauren

[Tilly]

How rude.

 

The teacher must have known you were coming to pick him up earlier or she would have been surprised to see you there 15mins before normal. To not acknowledge you is downright bad manners. What example is she teaching her pupils.

 

Tilly

[AmyNelson]

william couldn't see properly so he'd moved round to the side to try and get a better view. She lashed out at him saying ' William you're clearly not interested in this so you can go and sit at your desk and do some more of that English'. Which is what he was doing when I went to get him.

 

If you read the sentence it does not sound like lashing out. It actually sounds like the typr of thing teachers often say. When I have needed to pick my daughter up early shes never ready. I think they are busy and don't remember everything.

 

The other things that you said don't sound very nice though. But teachers aren't perfect. On the other hand, to me it doesn't sound too bad and could be a lot worse. My son has been through hell in school, locked in cupboards, classroom, and got restraint injuries.

[Flora]

Amy I think you're right. And I do realise there are far far worse things happening. I did put that it was petty which is why I don't think it's worth saying anything. I think I'm just fed up because it's been going on for two years, and even the most trivial of irritations will start to grate after a period of time.

 

Lauren

Edited March 3, 2006 by Lauren

[oracle]

A Teacher 'once' but only once did an impression of my eldest none ASD son. Rob had a history of what we called 'The Cough' it was no laughing matter and Rob was hospitalized on quite a few occasion with a cough that sounded like and acted like Whooping Cough The only difference being that it only ever lasted 72 hours during which time he coughed and vomited . All of this ended with Rob needing a serious Op on his throat.

 

However one day while he was in year 6 and absent once again because of 'The Cough' his teacher mentioned to the class that Rob was once again absent because he had a nasty cough. Cue laughter from whole class He then did a really good, or so I am told, impersonation of Rob and his cough I know this because three of the children in the class actually came a knocking at my door to tell me.

 

I was waiting outside of the Heads door at 9am the next morning and it never happened again.

 

You should not put up this this from any teacher. Your son has a diagnosed condition and he deserves some respect. Would a child with Down be impersonated or dis-respected in this manner? Would a child with Cerebal Palsy be impersonated or dis-respected in this manner? I severely doubt that they would. If I were you I would be really peeeeed off

 

Carole

Edited March 3, 2006 by carole

[AmyNelson]

Will he be moving to another school in the next few years?

[Tilly]

Would a child with Cerebal Palsy be impersonated or dis-respected in this manner? I severely doubt that they would. If I were you I would be really peeeeed off

 

Well said Carole

 

Tilly

[Paula]

This teacher sounds like a right paine in the bloomeing backside.

 

If youre child doesnt like her then that says it all.Why should he have to put up with it all.Sounds like bullying to me.

 

My sons school escort on the special bus once said to my son he was weak and a softy !!!

 

I was very angry and he was very upset screaming at me that he wasnt weak.I knew she must have said this to him because it wasnt the type of terminology hed use,plus he mimiked the way she said it.I confronted her and asked her what she was playing at.She just stood there and sniggered.So i reported her to school transport.Turned out i wasnt the only one whoes kid shed ridiculed.She was promptly removed from her job.

 

Thats what people should think how many more kids is this teacher/person doing this to who dont report stuff. Dont let her get away with it.Voice youre opinion it might be one of many shell think twice next time.

 

I hope william is ok.

 

Our kids have an hard enough time without any of this carry on.

[jb1964]

Lauren - And I do realise there are far far worse things happening. I did put that it was petty which is why I don't think it's worth saying anything. I think I'm just fed up because it's been going on for two years, and even the most trivial of irritations will start to great after a period of time

 

I can understand your frustration and I think very often it's the after effects of the events that cause the bigger problems too.

 

Like you say the teacher saying he clearly wasn't interested etc, this could have caused a massive problem for my daughter - she would have kept on and on at me that she was interested and why would the teacher say that, why would she lie etc etc, this could go on all evening until it would escalate into a massive tantrum.

 

In this life I think we have people who are understanding and those who are not, people that will go out of their way to help and people that won't, people who are deliberately spiteful and hurtful and people who are so kind and caring that it makes you want to cry, etc.

 

Unfortunately some of the 'not' people do work in schools - years ago I can remember someone telling me people went into teaching because they had a vocation for it - I think now I'd be naive to believe that.

 

Having said that I've come across some wonderful teachers who have been so helpful and understanding that little do they realise just what a difference they can make to a childs life in school.

 

Hope Williams' ok about it all now.

[curra]

I agree with Carole.

When my son was 6 or 7 he came home once looking very sad and said that the teacher had said to the whole class, "Doesn't XX look stupid the way he walks?" At that time my son walked on tiptoes a lot without noticing it. He still has an odd gait that makes other people make fun of him. I spoke to the head and it never happened again. I know that teachers are human (am a teacher myself) , some of them like kids and others don't, but there must be clarity about what the special needs of children are and there's nothing wrong with a polite reminder about a child with SEN .

 

Curra

[timelord]

lauren, put in a written account of what is happening, to the headmaster of the schol, if that gets you nowhere then appraoch the board of governors, that will get things moving

[Flora]

Thing is I've had so many head-to-heads with this woman and she always has an answer,,, oh it wasn't like that... that's not what I said... etc etc. I'm sure there have been times in the past when William MAY have exagerated but I don't think he always has. She's sometimes really nice but obviously has bad days but I would really like it if she stopped taking her bad days out on my son.

 

Thanks for your responses everyone.

 

Lauren

[timelord]

take it further, make it official, write to the head. see what happens

[Guest hallyscomet]

Hi,

Sorry I am a bit late to this post and will probably repeat what is already said but, well said, Carole.

 

CAROLE: You should not put up this this from any teacher. Your son has a diagnosed condition and he deserves some respect. Would a child with Down be impersonated or dis-respected in this manner? Would a child with Cerebal Palsy be impersonated or dis-respected in this manner? I severely doubt that they would. If I were you I would be really peeeeed off

 

Speak with the Head about it, you will get action, and your child deserves RESPECT.

 

I will tell you recently my 16 year old daughter was teased in front of the whole class about her Annorexia, she wasn't dancing a part correctly and the school teacher wouldn't show her what she was doing wrong, just kept targeting her, this went on for three hours as they were preparing for a concert they are putting on for the whole community.

 

In the end she said oh, I bet you haven't even eaten today thats why you can't get it right, two of my daughters friends intervened and said thats not true she has eaten today......my daughter had had enough and walked out in tears...... so I rang the Principal and asked her what was this womans problem, I said she had a habit of picking on one child constantly if ever there was problem in the dance, like she got some satisfaction out of humiliating a child, my daughter has complained to me about this in the past......so when she got all personal and "as I said to my daughter J. that is priviledged information she has about J.'s health, and she has no right, to tease her about it....." the principal was wonderful, she spoke to this teachers Head, I said to the Principal it sounds like when she gets PMS she gets vicious and takes it out on the children the next day J had to go back for more rehearsals, and this teacher apologised to J... but J. firmly said to her, you had no right to make fun of my weight like you did. I was really pleased with her. Oh, and no she doesn't have annorexia, we have since found out after many visits to the Specialist, it is stress, phew, we are working on that.

 

So Lauren, I wish you all the best.

 

Love

Hailey

[oracle]

Teachers don't know it all and how dare anyone suggest that a young and impressionable girl has annorexia. Eating disorders are serious business and even if it had been true then she had no right to draw everyones attention to this.

 

Stress has a great deal to answer for I hope that she finds a way through this. I am sure she will having you as a Mother

 

I forgot to mention earlier that the teacher who was making fun of my eldest also drew attention to the fact that Rob was a bit of a scruff. Not dirty but shirt tail always hanging out from his trousers and his tie was never straight. He passed a comment that Rob would never make a male model - again well out of order, he certainly made a day of it. The irony of that comment was that while Rob was working his way through Uni he worked for a very large and well know fashion retailer in the UK and only had the job of mensware junior manager - boy did that make us all laugh

 

Carole

 

PS Matthew is sooooooo interested that I have a friend in Australia Wants to know where you live, how hot it is and do you keep kola bears, kangaroos or have possums on your roof That's Matthew question after question after question

[Flora]

Hi all. Thanks for your responses. Sometimes it's hard to know if you're over reacting or not, nice to get some feed back. Especially when, like me, you are reknown in the school for being an awkward customer at the best of times

 

Me and William have decided to keep a written account over the next month of everything that occurs in relation to this teacher. That way we will have a clear picture of what is really going on.

 

Lauren

[Guest hallyscomet]

Teachers don't know it all and how dare anyone suggest that a young and impressionable girl has annorexia. Eating disorders are serious business and even if it had been true then she had no right to draw everyones attention to this.

 

Stress has a great deal to answer for I hope that she finds a way through this. I am sure she will having you as a Mother

 

I forgot to mention earlier that the teacher who was making fun of my eldest also drew attention to the fact that Rob was a bit of a scruff. Not dirty but shirt tail always hanging out from his trousers and his tie was never straight. He passed a comment that Rob would never make a male model - again well out of order, he certainly made a day of it. The irony of that comment was that while Rob was working his way through Uni he worked for a very large and well know fashion retailer in the UK and only had the job of mensware junior manager - boy did that make us all laugh

 

Carole

 

PS Matthew is sooooooo interested that I have a friend in Australia Wants to know where you live, how hot it is and do you keep kola bears, kangaroos or have possums on your roof That's Matthew question after question after question

 

 

Hi Carole,

 

I have written a letter to Matthew on "Off Topic" hope you enjoy it Matthew, feel free to ask as many questions as you like. Australia is a lot of fun.

 

Regards

Hailey

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Edited March 5, 2006 by hallyscomet

[hev]

lauren,i do not think you are over reacting,if your child is being upset its wrong,our children have enough to put up with other kids bullying them without teachers joining in,the other kids soon pick up on what the teacher is doing and they dont need any encouragement to join in put it in writing to the head your concerns,hectors house writes good letters!!

[puffin]

M once had a teacher who ridiculed her AS and made no attempt to implement her IEP. After several months of trying to work with this woman we requested that M move to a different class.

 

Probably the best decision we ever made.

[Anneuk]

Lauren Hugs...

 

I really feel for you when you get worried about what actually goes on when you aren't their..

 

With three school aged children I have seen a lot of different teachers, I have seen how my kids get the wrong end of the stick, and imagine a punishment to have been much worse than it was BUT I have also seen on many many occasions my children especially my dd Aspie that they exagerate, that they are silly, that they lie!! I ahve also had restraint injuries.... I have also been ignored as recently as today!

 

I often feel that especially with young teachers, they have no experience of any kids never mind kids with talents like ours and they are in way over their heads some of them....

 

Personally I would like to see a parents evening where we could give our feelings on the teachers and score them according to their people skills, listening skills and general teaching skills..

 

I also think that good teachers should stand up and point the finger at cr*p teachers instead of defending them... I know why they do it.... But how damaging......

 

Sorry If I sound angry and anti school at the moment but I have had my fill of it!!

 

Anne

[bramblebrae]

It's not petty all these things add up and as said before I would be worried about how this teachers behaviour towards your son affects his classmates behaviour towards him...she should be told what damage this could do...she is not the one going to have to live with the consequences. I know what you mean about the 'answer for everything" bit my son is a very unreliable witness...he often doesn't remember things or gets them confused and so when the school say it happened like this or they know nothing about it I really don't know what I can say against them ...I wish I could fit him with a secret camera just to see what really goes on.

 

take care

Lorraine