RE: asd son homeless and starving

[florrie]

I am just posting an update on my son J who has now got somewhere to live, and things are going relatively smoothly much to my relief. I haven't had much contact as K told me to stay out of it as I would make things worse, but after a week, last saturday we went round just to check there was no blasting music coming out which to my relief there wasn't. we knocked on the door and went in, he seemed uncommunicative but that is not unusual but the place was spotless, he has a friend staying with him who I think is also homeless, which he is not supposed to have but his friend looks out for him and I think it was spotlless because of friends input, ok there were loads of beer cans but they were in recycling sack. I was impressed and relieved.

 

K saw j today and said he looked clean and tidy and had some new shoes and seemed quite together, he is getting incapacity benefit for a month, my worry now is it runs out soon and obviously doctor seems to think asd people end up in prison, and didn't seem to understand asd at all and I don't know how to get this continued long term, does it have to be issued monthly we have heard nothing from cmht who didn't seem to want to know any background info to his drug and alcohol addiction or that he was asd and had sensory overload etc and would probably write to J who would probably throw it away not really knowing what it was although i might be underestimating him.

 

On a plus side he is extremely grateful that he has been given somewhere ot live and is trying really hard and making a real effort to deal with alcohol and drugs by cutting down, he wants to work, but without proper support or understanding for his difficulties It hasn't been successful in the past, I think we need to continue with incapacity benefit for him for the present , does anyone know whether this will be possible, this was job centre's advice because if he doesn't sign on because he forgets or gets phobic they just stop benefits and everything will get worse again. I'm trying to find ways of dealing with this before we end up in disaster land

 

I'm trying really hard to be positive and to move forwards positively and not blame people.although it is hard and am grateful, for the accomodation he has got, and know there are people worse off but I worry so much, and I have to rely on K to sort things out and I'm grateful for that also.

 

Thanks to everyone for there advice and kindness and if I seem whingey and whiney and rambly it is just I get so frustrated, and although I feel positive to day, and I know I have to go forwards positively there is nothing else one can do really, I might not be tommorrow when the next thing goes wrong and causes me intense anxiety so forgive me in advance.

[justamom]

Glad things are on the up for your florrie - stay positive

 

All the best

 

justamom

[phasmid]

Glad to hear things have taken a turn in the right direction for you both. As for InCap. You used to be able to get InCap paid weekly but they changed the rules a while ago so this is no longer possible.

[helenl53]

Hi Florrie

 

In our area there are Outreach workers for the homeless who are out and about at night time. The organisation is a charity and they try to get people off the streets and into sheltered accomodation and have support workers to help with drink and drug difficulties and also to help get into college etc.

 

I know that the Salvation Army run evening soup kitchens in our area and they may do the same in your area. They may be the best place to start to find out who runs outreach support services in your area. I know your lad is not currently homeless, but he could do with an outreach worker to try and help him with any difficulties and to provide support information.

 

Hope this helps. I find it very difficult reading your postings as I am sure others do - we just wish you lived on our doorstep so we could help you.

 

You are a a wonderful caring person Florrie

 

HelenL

[nellie]

Florrie,

 

I'm pleased to hear your son is safe in his own accommodation. I think your son should have a support worker to help him with benefits, bills etc. I know how difficult it is to get this kind of support but your son does have a right to it.

 

Regarding benefits. My son is having his Incapacity Benefit reviewed, he's been on it for some years and has always received it fortnightly. We are hopeful of it continuing.

 

He was awarded DLA at the lower rate last week, I don't think we would have got it without the help of the DLA application - supplementary information, a tick box that he was able to fill in which gave us a much better understanding of his needs, this helped us with filling in the form. It also helped us when explaining his difficulties to the GP when he was filling in the form for Incapacity Benefit.

 

Although my son is high functioning he has great difficulty with communicating his needs to others, this tick box form was a huge benefit, I now understand my son much better.

 

DLA application - supplementary information

http://www.nas.org.uk/content/1/c4/77/90/D...application.doc

 

Information on Incapacity Benefit.

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Custom...008025.xml.html

 

Hope this helps in some way.

 

Nellie <'>

[bid]

Nellie,

 

This DLA supplementary information tick boxes would have been a godsend when we applied for adult DLA for my son. He got his DLA, but it took weeks for us to complete the forms, talking to him about a few questions at a time.

 

Is this produced by the DLA, because we weren't given it. Do you have to ask for it?

 

Thanks,

 

Bid

[Kathryn]

Florrie,

 

I'm so glad to hear that your son is doing OK so far in his own place. You've worked really hard to support him and help him get this far. I hope life is a little less stressful for you than it was.

 

K x

[bid]

Florrie,

 

So glad to hear that things seemed to have turned a corner

 

Well done all of you <'>

 

Bid

[nellie]

Bid,

 

This tick box is on the NAS site. DLA - guidance for adults with an ASD completing the form.

It's not prominent so I'm not surprised people miss it. I've used that page lots of times but only noticed this recently. I'll pop it on to the DLA thread.

 

DLA - guidance for adults with an ASD completing the form

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=300&a=7788

 

Nellie xx

[asereht]

Florrie, Glad things are going well for your son.

[florrie]

Thanks everyone for all the great support, thanks for the link nellie for the tick box thing for dla i wouldn't have found that with out you putting the link on it looks useful, one of the problems we still have is having any kind of specialist with adults that can be used to contact for verification of difficulties, who understand the difficulties even basically which is why I was trying to get referred to one, and one that might be aware that the constellation of symptoms is different in females, but I am now pretty certain they are being blocked by who i'm not quite sure, it could be someone on pct and k thinks the gp who struck me off my supportive gp list after suicide attempt because he said I had an "unhealthy" relationship with him is on the pct committee, this gp also forged a letter from a pyschiatrist who I saw for 5 minutes in hospital and who barely spoke a word of English as he was foreign and agreed not to send details of conversation to gp who apparently said I told him my gp had struck me off but I hadn't been struck off at this point so couldn't have said it could I it is really complicated to explain, thing is K was behind the curtain in hospital and heard every word so it was forged to encourage my supportive gp to strike me off, and the gp who struck me off said I was trying to harm the nice gp. some months later that gp who was great at first but then began to be very unkind did resign from practice and became a locum. I think the horrid gp was furious that I attempted suicide under his care, because he forbid to speak to the nice one which threw me over the edge and led to suicide attempt and he decided to set the other one up to take the responsibility, by blaming him for encouraging "unhealthy" relationship, by of course I am aware that at the end of the day I chose to attempt suicide and that is no one responisbilty but my own, but then I was having bad reaction to seroxat the meds I was on and trying to withdraw which also didn't help and I was being misinterpreted left right and centre which made me hysterical, and J was also having a breakdown due to bullying etc and that wasn't understood either

 

I've made a right mess of trying to explain that never mind. I'm sure it is as clear as mud

 

I don't know of any other specialist other than those I have contacted 2 agreed it was serious and agreed to see me one then changed there mind and said they were restricted and the latest agreed to see me upon pct funding but that has been declined, a bit weird as they agreed the previous one. I'd go privately and borrow the money but don't know who to go to.

 

i can't prove any of this and if I dwell on it too much it can tip me over,and I know I keep repeating this stuff over and over, so sorry about that maybe i think I'll get some clarity in something by doing so.I find it difficult to stop going over it in my head, although I know it is not helpful. I don't really know what to do about it, but I can't help feeling angry that they are in a position to do this and I can't do anything about it, I don't think it is my gp although I don't know for certain. All i'm trying to do is get some understanding so we can go forward, all of us if I get verification i will feel in a better position to help J

 

My son got his accommodation I believe due to MP input last year, so again very grateful fo that,J did go to top of list but it still took several months.

Edited March 27, 2006 by florrie