LKS Report post Posted April 3, 2006 My NT son passed his driving test on Friday. He has been offered a part time job on Saturdays, for which he needs to have the use of a car (mine!) They will give him a petrol allowance. Problem is my ASD dd started swimming lessons a while ago on Saturdays. We spent a VERY long time finding the right teacher. She works with people with different sorts of disabilities. She has been perfect and dd has gone from not even wanting to get in to the water to recently passing 5M badge This lady has recently had a baby and Saturdays is the ONLY day she can do lessons. I really want to continue with them as DD will start swimming lessons with the school in yr. 5 and I wanted her to be fairly confident. My NT son very rarely asks for anything and his needs have often taken second place to his 2 AS siblings. He is desperate for some money as we (dh and me) are finding it really hard to finance anything for him now. There is no way I can get to this pool by public transport as it is not on any route that goes near our house 2/3 bus changes. God what ever I decide someone is going to be really disappointed. DH can't help as he works and needs his car on Saturdays. Help Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Sorry LKS Sounds like you have one huge dilemma on your hands. <'> <'> This is one you will have to go with your heart and feel who has the biggest need, only you can make that decision. Can you go back to the swimming lady and tell her your dilemma and how important it is and why, maybe she might be able to wave a magic wand and help you through this dilemma. Sorry, this is a tough call. This sounds really important to your NT child as well, sometimes they can feel like the forgotten child living with a sibling with ASD from my experience. Sending you lots of these <'> <'> <'> Hailey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted April 3, 2006 You're really stuck between a rock and a hard place aren't you! I really don't know what to suggest. There will be a solution somewhere though. I know exactly what you must feel like, they are both equally important and you don't want either of them to miss out. It really is hard on NT siblings because more often than not they are the one's who have to make the concessions. I know it's very hard on my daugher at times. If you can't find an alternative means of getting your daughter to swimming, then you have a very difficult choice to make. How much will your daughter miss her swimming? I know it's important, but it sounds to me, this being your son's first job that his needs might tip the balance here. Just my opinion of course! Good luck Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted April 3, 2006 <'> <'> I dont envy you this one.Either way its going to kick of. Any chance youre NT son could run you to the baths with the AS child then take the car.Maybe you could cadge a lift back or share a taxi. Or could you drop the NT son of then go to the baths even if it means the nt son arriving early could he have a coffee or something whilst he waites.Maybe after the first couple of weeks youre Nt son might be able to cadge a lift with someone. Could you cadge a lift to the baths. The only other option is the said son getting his own transport maybe a small moped initialy funded by you put paide for via his new money or petrol allowance. Good luck i Ive been in similar positions myself where my nt daughter hasnt been able to do stuff because of her as brother you feel so bad as the emotional pressure mounts. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Gosh - what a tough one. Can you take your husband to work and pick him up or does he need the car while he's there? Is a taxi viable? I'm sure you've thought through all possible options yourself! This is just my opinion, but if you can't find a solution to keep everyone happy, I'd be inclined to stick with the swimming lessons simply because it's an existing arrangement. It would be tough on your son, but another job will almost certainly come along for him. Good luck with whatever you decide, K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Is it possible to find out if there is a special disability mini bus service in your area. We have one in Newcastle (can't remember what it's called - U Call or something) but what you do is ring them up and they'll take you, as a taxi would, around and about. It's a lot cheaper than a taxi and probably a lot more understanding too. Either that or purchase your son a cheap little banger! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted April 3, 2006 Thanks for replies everyone. Daisy I shall look into that bus as I know there is one that drops some people off on Saturday at the pool, hadn't thought of that. Have spent most of my day on the phone trying to find out if anyone I know goes to that pool on Saturday. I shan't give up, I'm a mum on a mission Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted April 3, 2006 mums on missions normally get it sorted.Good luck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted April 5, 2006 Whoohoo. Was out in the garden speaking to my neighbour having a gossip Told her about ds and son and she said why didn't I mention it before. I can borrow her small car for the swimming lessons I am so grateful to her and knowing her she won't accept anything so I shall just make sure I keep car filled up for her, and also she is about to become a grandma for the first time so I will get somethings for the baby. There are some really nice people about aren't there. Hard to remember sometimes when you spend so much time dealing with some of the more ar**y people that are involved in education Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyBlue Report post Posted April 5, 2006 Pleased to hear you got it sorted! Nice one! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted April 5, 2006 That's great news LKS - what a lovely person. I hope your son's job, and your daughter's swimming lessons go well, and that your son allows you the use of your own car occasionally! K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
redberry Report post Posted April 5, 2006 Fab result! redberry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted April 5, 2006 Thanks guys. My car has gone for a drive AGAIN this afternoon. But he has offered to go and do supermarket shop tomorrow Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted April 5, 2006 Great news LKS . Glad you got it sorted. What a lovely neighbour you have Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted April 5, 2006 oh thats great, what a lovely neighbour, that is really kind of her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted April 5, 2006 That is so lovely. Shame there aren't more neighbours like yours. I don't think my neighbour would lend me her car - she's seen the scratches on mine! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted April 7, 2006 Glad you got it sorted. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted April 7, 2006 LKS.... So glad you got a solution. What a lovely neighbour!!! Wish there were more like that one. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted April 7, 2006 Oh,I want a neighbour like that.Glad you sorted out your dilemma.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Two naughty children! Report post Posted April 7, 2006 two sayings spring to mind It's not what you know it's who you know And better to be born lucky than rich I would love a neighbour like yours and I hope your son enjoys his new job Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
