Fagsandbooze

hi, mother in need , i am trying my absoloute best to learn german and in fact know quite a lot, i have been there loads of times and find that they are fine with me not being able to speak the language. I just wanted someone to give me some support with us having a common link namely aspergers. This will be my last post on this forum as i feel completely let down in terms of support. Danke. P.s. I have recently been dx with AS aged 35.

my understanding is that as soon as outside agencies have been involved your child should be on school action plus. In my experience having this label does not make much difference anyway. I thought it would make things better/easier, but just made things even more complicated. I wouldn't waste my time if i had the benefit of hindsight!

we get 25 hours on the statement and the school cover lunchtimes all be it reluctantly. That's why we're moving abroad....... for a better education and hopefully more respect and understanding.

Hi, as my as son gets older his differences seem to be more obvious (i still find it hard to accept the dx) he seems to spend more and more time just pacing back and forth, anywhere even in the classroom. Is this common? When he is stressed it's more intense, tends to walk round in circles sometimes on tiptoe. Why does he do this? Is it a stim?

Hi, Can anyone help me with the language once i move? I'll need help enrolling my as sons into school etc Any little bit of broken german would help enormously. Thanks in advance x

my asd son has been excluded more times than i can remember even a permanant exclusion. He is now in a mainstream school and doing ok, i won't hold my breath though, if you know what i mean. My advice would be trust your instinct, if you think he's not happy, tell them in no uncertain terms that you are going to defend him no matter what, because if you don't who will? Never agree that he is naughty, he's not, he has aspergers.

thanks lks and tally, lks anything you can find out from your dd will help me enormously and will be much appreciated. Thanks for saying i'm brave and not mad, that means so much to me.

Hi, I've decided to move to Germany with my partner and two sons one of whom is dx with aspergers the other almost certainly has it. None of us can speak German. I intend to put them in school there. I'm hoping they will relish the challenge, they are extremely bright and get into so much trouble at school here, what do you think? Am I crazy?

either i'm autistic or you are normal, who knows?

why has bid resigned? I haven't been on here for a while.

Our CAMHS is totally cr*p!! When we needed a dx the psycologist said there was no point in labelling people, and generally spouted a right load of twaddle(star charts etc) in this really patronising dreary tone that was so irritating, anyway after about three appointments we had had enough and literally shouted at her if you won't diagnose send us to someone who will!! and guess what.... she did!! So it just goes to show that those who shout loudest.......... So from experience my advice is, forget politeness and patience with these people it gets you no where, give 'em what for.... it works!!

my youngest son(7) does this and it's soooooo annoying. He will not shut up until he gets an answer, that's fine when it's me, but other kids at school and even his AS older brother don't realise and can end up getting on the receiving end of one very angry and aggressive boy. He is suspected of having AS as yet not diagnosed, could this be a trait worth mentioning to professionals? that's if I can muster up the energy to go through another onslaught of appointments etc, it took years to get the dx for older son, I often wonder if it was worth the aggro and stress!

School is closed on tues here in staffordshire too.

Wow! The first thing his dad said was along the same lines, he's really into all that spiritual stuff, but I have no idea about all that kind of thing. I suppose it's a nice idea, the thought of him being watched over by some kind of spirit guide or guardian angel. One things for sure, it's better than my initial reaction, that it was a mental health problem like paranoia or something. This has turned into a much more interesting thread though!!

Thanks, that helps a lot. It's funny you mention playstations, my son hasn't given his up yet but he did say he keeps losing on his game because he has to keep looking around to see if anyone is behind him, he finds that really annoying!! Kinky, I had considered saying something along those lines (guardian angel) but decided it could be too hard to explain, and he used to be obsessed with death and dying so I don't want to bring that back again, I think the thought of anyone or anything watching over him whether good or bad would worry him. I haven't mentioned this to any health professionals, mainly because I never think of it when I'm there, if it gets worse though I will make an appointment.

hi, my 9yr old AS son keeps feeling like he's being watched from behind,he's obviously scared by this, I have been reassuring him that he's not being watched but I really don't know what's going on. Has anyone experienced anything like this with your AS kids? This has been happening for quite a long time, probably about a year but he only mentions it about once a month. Any ideas would be appreciated.

whoops! I forgot to say, ds attended school mornings only before, 9-12 so he had full time support for the time he was there, thats why I couldn't believe the lunch time thing.I finally get him in school full time and they won't even have him for 45mins without support.... unbelievable!

Thanks guys for all your replies. Daisyproudfoot, we had 15 hours before. The school are now saying he'll have to come home for lunch . We told them we are not doing it. We told them that that would be an unofficial exclusion and if they insist on this they would have to make it official. We also reminded them that they should be covering lunch times out of their own sen budget. So they ended up saying just take him home for lunch for the first three days, they were obviously just trying it on the cheeky b%$*%%*$$. Anyway I'll just have to wait and see what happens.................

I can't quite believe it, the lea have increased sons hours on his statement to 25!!!!!!!!! Just thought I'd share my good news with you all. I don't think I'd be in this position if it weren't for this forum so Thankyou!!

Hi, thanks for all your replies. I have spoken to IPSEA they were very nice but they couldn't really tell me anything that I didn't already know (thanks to this forum!). They gave me a direct number to get back to them if I have no joy. I'm going to insist on a full time education, hopefully they'll give some more support too. If it turned out that this has been an unlawful exclusion who do I complain to and is there any point? The reason he only attends part time is because his previous school wanted to do a managed transfer, he was in no fit state at the time to be dumped in a new school (he wasn't coping without a statement and this led him to attack a child in his class) I wouldn't agree to the transfer so I had a choice, permanant exclusion or home ed so I kept him at home and got the statement before I put him in his present school, he was out of school for 8 months. I think he's missed out on far too much education already. He's still top of the class academically though so that's something to be proud of.

Hiya. We are meeting at school next thursday with somone from the lea, head, senco etc to review 9yr old sons statement. He has only had the statement since November. He currently has 15 hours of support. When he started at this school in november, they only agreed to have him on a part time basis so he attends mornings only 9 till 12. They are expecting the lea to provide full time support, they will not have him in school full time without it. I can't imagine that the lea will just agree to this. It doesn't seem fair that the school hasn't even given my son a chance to see how he would cope in the afternoon without support. I wish someone would consider the childs feelings in these situations. He has behaved amazingly well since he's been there and he's gone from being depressed and hating school (old school) to an extremely happy child who loves school and wants more than anything to go to all day, this must be really hard for him to understand, all his efforts must seem pointless. I have no idea what to say at this review. Should i back up the schools request for more hours or do i demand full time education regardess. Isn't it ridiculous the way you have to battle for everything. Sorry if i'm rambling, any ideas or advice would be great.

When i read your post my first thought was, Your son is describing an innocent play fight with his dad but because he has as he hasn't understood that it was his dad being playful. An Nt child may not have even mentioned it.BUT you know this man and your son, if you have any doubts about his safety don't let this man any where near him.

Thanks for that Phasmid. I shall be having words with the head.

I can't offer much advice but I know exactly how you feel. My youngest son who is not diagnosed has exactly the same problems with hitting at school. His older brother has aspergers and it seems likely that younger son does too. My younger son is 6 and has been excluded at least 20 times for hitting, I have to bring him home for lunch at the moment because he cannot be properly supervised by the school at lunch time. I've tried all sorts of punishments but nothing makes a difference. Over the last week or so I've stopped the punishing and have started to explain to him things like, how it makes the other person feel when he hurts them and have told him that when he gets angry he should count to ten and take a deep breath or tell a teacher how he feels. He hasn't hit anyone this week (yet) which is a small miracle!! Also looking back over the years I have realised that punishing any of my boys for things they've done at school has never worked, it's just made them and me miserable, they're not naughty they have AS, patience, understanding and explaining every situation as it occurs has been the best solution for me but it does take time. Hope this helps in some small way.

Thanks for your help on this. I knew they were telling porkies!! We also have a copy of the letter from social services stating that they have had no involvement with my son. I phoned ss when the lea refused to alter this and they were going to contact the lea, but they did end the conversation saying that we'd probably have to fill in an official complaints form. How ridiculous can you get?!!!!