purplehaze

Hi, try talking to the school or phone your local children and young peoples services they should be able to help you. Some teams need a referal from social services but in my area parents can now refer but this makes the waiting list much longer!!!

Hello, I just wanted to say-I know how hard things can be and I have also had days where I just want my son to have some empathy It is so hard sometimes when your 16 year old son just doesn't seem to have any feelings for you-when I feel like this I try to think of the others things my son does for me to show he does care in his own way-he might play my favourite song while I'm in the bath-might be small to some but for me it means he is trying to make me happy!! Try to think of the good times as the bad times might be hard and often but the day ends!!! I completely understand it is hard because sometimes all you think of are the horrible times particularly when thats all it seems to be! Talk to us, write down the good days to remind you and try to take some time for you-if possible and remember scream if you want to scream!!! Sometimes I put music on (only if my sons at his dads) and dance around jumping just to remind my self it's ok-I'm ok!!!!!!! Thinking of you-take care-look after yourself-have you anyone to talk too or professional involved for support? <'> <'> <'>

Thought some of you might be interested in this-I think it could be interesting to find out what each MP would say

Hello I use PECS at work and at the begining you have more of a structured session once you find out what the motivators are for a particular child you then have those things at hand, then you use it during free play but always make sure the motivators are at hand but out of reach, incase the child will request independently or you entice with a motivator and if the child goes to reach for it that is the first communication response then the prompter adult will guide the child to the PECS to request. I think PECS is great and actually did my dissertation on it!

Hello it's the natural history museum xxx

Intensive interaction is great-I use this where I work and it does work wonders!!! The video was fantastic x

Hi my son is also 16 with autism and hates brushing his teeth-when he was younger I had to hold him down to try and clean them-I have to keep going on at him and then he will only brush them for seconds. He has lots of sensory difficulties and hates the taste of the tooth paste (tried lots of different flavours, I have even tried tooth paste from spain that a friend got me) and he hates the feel of the brush in his mouth-so you are not alone. I managed to get him to the dentist last week and she said 'you have been cleaning your teeth well' I nearly fell off the chair with laughter and shock-I just think it's a combination of not eating too much sugar and just having good teeth. He now thinks he ony has too clean them now and again as he cleans them at the right time!!!! My son has told me many times he wishes his teeth would fall out so he didn't have to clean them-thats how much he hates it!!! It doesn't make you a bad parent-just a parent of a child that finds cleaning his teeth difficult!!!

I was told by professionals that where I live there was good autism support, diagnosing and apparently people move here so they can get the right diagnoses or support-so the numbers of adults and children with autism is high! I'm not sure if this is right but my life deffinately has lots of autism in it-I work with young children and some have autism, my son has autism, his dad has aspergers, I work with 2 adults that have 2 children each that have either autism or aspergers, I know everyone that I know that has been refered for DX as an adult or child has had no problems what so ever and they have been DX straight away-whether thats because they have classic autism behaviours and DX is straight forward or that professionals are good at DX here????????

Hi My son was refered by our doctor to our local children and family services and he was seen by various professionals and had to complete various tests and then he was diagnosed with autism-but my earlier post was about my sons dad who was diagnosed last year with aspergers-he was having support for depression and anxiety for a few years and they sent him to a place that assesses adults who may have ASD's. Not sure if it is legal for you to be told there is no funding for your son to be seen-go back to your doctor and say he needs suppport and you want to be refered again to someone that can diagnosed autism or any other conditions. Good luckxxx Edited to say-apparently I live in a hotspot for autism and the support is supose to be good!!!

Hi jimbo, I just want to let you know there is support out there, my ex was DX last year with aspergers and it wasn't hard at all as soom as he plucked up the courage to get help he was DX soon after.

Hi, this is a difficult one-isn't it. Your so right your son is getting older and a decision needs to be made. I really feel like your in a difficult situation-your not going to know if PECS works unless you try it!!! I only have experience of using it with young children-but if your son realises he is going to get something he really likes- then he may start to use it for requesting other things. When I use it I have to find what the motivators are for the child-because other wise they are not going to request anything. So if I have a child that really likes bubbles or raisins etc then I would entice by playing with bubbles or eating a raisin then when the child tries to reach for the item that is the first bit of communication and then another adult would encourage the child to request the bubbles or raisins by giving me a picture of bubbles or raisins-thats how you begin but eventially you get to the point where the child has a book/folder with pages of everything-food-activities etc and they will place sentence starter cards on to a strip such as 'I want' I see' etc then a card with 'bubbles' or 'snow' (which I can see now LOL). i am often amazed how quickly a child learns these skills and starts to communicate with all the adults using it-it can be very empowering for them! How does your son communicate now-if he wants a drink or something etc??????? Does he get frustrated by not being able to communicate???? I think PECS is great for the right child-but if your actually signing anyway has your son ever picked up any signs from you??? Your son could communicate with you and your wife with either sign language or PECS you could teach both-depending on your son but if he requests using PECS then you could give him the sign for the item such as 'bubble' etc I'm not sure of your son's level of understanding but he may be capable of using both eventially or start to prefer one to the other. I do feel for you-you have a decision to make that your not sure will work until you have tried-very hard but may be worth trying-Good luck XXX

Firstly I have to say I have only read quickly-sorry I can understand your resistence as to me it sounds like the professionals are not sure of what they are doing-lets do this-no lets do this-makaton then PECS etc Are they saying you should use makaton and PECS or one or the other???? I use both at work and they can be very helpful-infact there is research to suggest that children may start to use more verbal communication when they start using PECS at phase 4 (sentence strip)!!!!! you need to think about the facts-what is your child doing-what would you like him to do-what would help/support him at home and school??????? If he is using verbal communication and sign language then why are they saying he needs to change that to something else-you wouldn't expect a child to change from using English (whan English is going ok) to Chinese and vice versa (unless he lived in a dual herritage family of course)-hope you know what I'm getting at- or have I missed what you are saying!!!! XXX Edited to say if your using sign language and feel it's working then the school need to be using this not trying to get you to change to something that they use!!!

Hello, my son use to be tired and even put his head on the table to sleep while at school-I also work with children with ASD's and have had a few fall asleep when they are having difficult moments-I believe this is due to coping strategies and they are shutting down because it's easier that deal with the situation.

My son suffers with both constipation and loose stools he also has pains in his stomach and has done for years. His dad and I also also suffer with IBS (his dad also has aspergers) xxx

Hi, when my son was in mainstream he was so anxious over work experience and the school was worried about him doing it and as he had a statement he would have needed a LSA to go with him so they only offered him work experience in the local college doing cooking-he wasn't interested in cooking-so I decided he wouldn't do it and he helped his dad with a painting job around his grans. However, he is now in a SEN school and has been doing work experience in a garage since before Christmas and although he still is very quiet and I might not use the words enjoy but he has been able to cope andgo every week! It depends if your son is calm and doing something he enjoys or at least has an interest in-it's pointless sending him to make him more anxious unless your teaching him that sometimes you have to do things that you don't like-it depends if you think your son will cope. I work with work experience students that come in to my work place and I notice a big difference in those that want to be there to the ones that don't-those that are enjoying it learn so much more!!! I also know someone that works in a well known shop and they told me that when they have a student that has SEN, people can be mean to them or even bully them-so you do have to think about what kind of place your son will be at-this worried me as my son was going to a garage-but although the teacher has told me they wind my son up abit and tease him (joking way-not mean)-he hasn't told me he hates it-probable doesn't even notice-probably thinks their a bit strange-LOL

I researched this a few years ago and looked into this- http://www.dogsforthedisabled.org/partners...mAssistanceDogs I have too say although we didn't end up with one of those dogs as my son was too old-we did get a dog from our local rehoming centre and she is a cross between a spaniel, terrior and may be a little collie-she is the most loveable dog we could ever ask for! I looked into this for ages before I decided to get a dog-as my son had very agressive behaviour-but I always noticed he was really calm around dogs and was always asking for one. Since the day Poppy (came with the name) arrived my son has been much calmer and also a few months after she arrived she had 5 puppies (no one knew-not even the rehoming's vet ) and it taught him so much about love-he looked up one day and just said Poppy loves her puppies doesn't she-my son doesn't like kisses, hugs, and really lacks empathy most of the time-it was amazing!!! Poppy has been scared of a lot of things especially when we take her out-so I kind of feel she was supose to be with us and vice versa (2 peas from a pod-my son & Poppy)!!! Apart from my son hasn't had puppies She is the best dog ever-infact she is lying at my feet while I type this. xxx

Hi, are you completely certain that when requested to do so the pre-school told the LA that they could meet your sons needs-if they have said in the past or when the statement was proposed that they couldn't meet his needs-due to stairs or anything else-then they really must have had to prove this because usually the LA (unless cost is invloved) listen to parents choice and tell the pre-schools or schools they can meet the child's needs (if the think they can) and the school has to acept the child. I know a school with a DSP that has said they can't meet a child's needs but it is parents choice and the LA are questioning why they can't meet the child's needs and might tell them to accept them!!! They will have specific reasons why they believe the pre-school can't meet his needs-have you asked what exactly the reasons are?

[quote the woman said, "don't say to him 'don't run', because he may only hear 'run' and do it - instead say 'walk'". Don't know how much it worked though Sally this does work-I work in a pre-school with a mix of mainstream, autism, physical disabilities etc and it's right that some children hear the word run and run so you say walk!!! Also I know an adult (who has actually just wrote a book about his life) who has tourettes and he did swear and had a lot of ticks, my son goes to school with a boy who has it and he shouts lines from films!!!

Hi I actually work in a charity run pre-school which is classed as private (not LA run) and we have always had children with autism with statements-what are the reasons the LA are saying for not accepting this place (sorry if i've missed it-I have only read quickly) -unless the pre-school have said they can't meet his needs?????

Thanks guys-it's really weird and been going on for some months but I haven't wanted to tell anyone incase they think i'm mad-but then last night I googled it and others have also had it but no one had the answer. Very interesting!!!

Hi everyone-I was just wandering if anyone knows why I have a sweet floral kind of smell just after I sneeze-it only lasts a few seconds but it's weird. xxx PS-no I don't have flowers in the room

I scored 28 but the problem with questions that you have to rate by agreeing or disagreeing etc doesn't really give you the choice to give an exact answer and I found this quite hard. I wanted to have other selections that best suited my answer. I supose what I found hard was fitting my answers into a neat little box-so to speak.

[Hello welcome to the forum xxx

Oxgirl-We are in similar positions and I too am so worried about what's going to happen to him. I had a conversation with my autism advisory person on Monday and said one of my fears is that he wants to live on his own eventially and becomes someone that doesn't eat, wash, clean properly and has no job or future and although he probably would be happy with this-it breaks my heart. After my meeting with the college and him hearing what was said-he has told me he doesn't want to go to college and he wants to stay at home. The head of my son's outreach programme is going to speak to the college so I'll have to wait and see!!! I had an e-mail from my local MP the other day because I sent an e-mail about a NAS campaign and it said if I have any problems to get in touch-I think I may be doing that. xxx

My son is doing a one day a week work experience place as part of his new schools programme and has been doing it since November, he also has been doing a basic engineering course in the same college (yes for school children like him & with support) since October/November and also has been learning to drive a car & moped as part of his school lessons-this is why i'm so shocked to the response of the college-they told me that doing all these things are completly different because they are things that are aimed at children like my son and attending a 'normal' college course is completly different. It's just that no one gave me any idea that he wouldn't be able to do it-so I was shocked in the meeting when I was told. X