harmony

Well done to you! Think of all those amazing places you can go now, just hop in the car and you're off. congratulations Harmony

Hi My daughter, with diagnosis of AS, dyspraxia and ADHD. Lies constantly, all day everyday! she is now 14, but this has been going on for years. I remember when she was small she told all my friends my husband and I were getting a divorce (100% not true) She lies about taking money from my purse, about having removed things from our room ( when I find items belonging to me under her bed) She makes up stories all the time, so I do understand where you are coming from. I don't think our children understand that lying can and will eventually get them into real trouble. It is almost like my daughter doesn't care if i acuse her of lying or not. If you find an answer do let me know, as I too am at a loss. Thoughts are with you Harmony

Hi Just to say, My daughter is almost 14, was diagnosed with AS at 11/12 Although had an earlier diagnosis of dyspraxia. I do understand what you are going through. She was considerd too bright at certain things to be statemented??? Yet now she is behind and getting c/d grades. We have put her in to a small private school ( paying for it is a struggle) It has helped to a certain degree as class sizes are small, and she can't "hide" I find this age with girls is so hard, their AS symptoms seem to be magnified, and emotions can run high. It is hard to know what our children will do as they get older in this exam/test obsesed culture we live in, but AS children have been through a lot, and are quite oftern very resourceful. Maybe your daughter will not go on to A'levels, but maybe there is something greater for her around the corner. I really hope you find a solution, if you ever want a sympathetic here just post. love Harmony

Kathryn, you are so right.I love what you say and agree 100% she is 14 and needs to grow up a bit, a lot actually. I have told her from now on when I find wet things she has to put them in the wash, hang them out to dry and put them away. I need to be a parent and prepare her for life, not a doormat who does everything for her. Perhaps if she is made to be responsible for her clothing/bedding she will at least try to keep them clean, and when she runs out of tights again, mine are off limmits!! Sometimes i think she uses her AS against me, and I feel so sorry for her I accept everything as part of her condition, and she ends up doing just what she feels comfortable with. She is such a sweetie really,and all my friends adore her, as she wants to know everything about them, their lives, their dreams. She always wants to be with me, and is so affectionate (overly) with all the family, but she lives in a world where good always wins, where she will always end up with what she wants, and where mummy and daddy will protect her from the big bad wolf. Life is tough, she needs to understand that..........watch this space, and thanks again, you said the words I couldn't quite. Harmonyx

DD, AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia born at 36 weeks 72 hr labour, forceps delivery, and incomplete placenta DS (1) NT 39 weeks normal delivary DS (2) NT 37 weeks, induction after waters broke. Harmony

Thank you all so much for your help. She certainly has sensory issues, and I think she actually likes the sensation of warm/wet. we are being referd to a peadiatric urinary consultant (didn't know there was such a thing) It seems strange for a teenager, who is as tall as me and "borrows" my clothes (then pees in them) to have such issues, but that is AS for you. Also didn't know we could get any financial help with this so will look in to that one Thanks again Harmony

Hi Havn't been on for about a year.......life flies by My DD is now almost 14 AS, ADHD and Dyspraxia. Life with an AS teen is challenging to say the least. The last time I posted we were having trouble with DD wetting day and night, and now it has got totally out of control! we have seen doctors,consultants incontinence nurses etc etc. 3 mattresses in a year, and 4 duvets. When she wets which is almost daily, (unless desmotabs have been rememberd, which are oftern forgottern) She hides her wet sheets, pants p'j's etc around the house, have found them in some very odd places but never the washing machine, our house smells terrible. My daughter doesn't give a damn. She is not daft she knows what she is doing, but can't stop. She will not wear incontinence pads, or use plastic sheeting and would rather be wet. Likewise her hygine during her periods is quite appaling. I can't invite anyone over incase the smell is too dreadful, or incase she has left dirty knickers on the bathroom floor. I work almost full time,and have two younger boys to look after, and this is really getting me down. When I read posts about mums with 7 and 8 yr olds still wetting at night and finding it hard, I wonder how they will cope if their child is still doing it at 14. None of my friends knows my daughter does this she has asked me not to tell anyone as she is deep down embarresed. After school her pants are wet everyday and all her clothes are rotting. Please help!!!! I am drowning in a sea of wee..... advice much appreciated Regards Harmony

teeth

Hello I havn't visited the forum for about 6 months, life just took over. It is good to be back though as having a nightmare with my DD aged 13 diagnosed with dyspraxia aged 6, ADHD and AS 2 years ago. Her bedwetting is constant. Everyday! and she will not wear pull-ups, and removes plastic sheet. She has also started eating weird foods in her room. horse raddish, Mayo, flour choclate powder to name a few. She then hides the evidence in with her clothes.... Her periods have started, and that is proving unpleasant.(I won't go into details here) In general I manage but with 2 other children and an almost full time job life can be full on. It will be good to chat again with you all, as I know you understand. Harmonyx

Just want to empathise, DD 13 Smells like a drain...or worse!! I told her so this A.m, I am her mother I lover her so I felt it was my duty to tell her she stinks. She hasn't washed her hair for a week, her teeth hardly ever see a toothbrush, and she wears the same clothes in the day as she wears to bed, (despite having loads of p.j's) I can't talk underwear.... not nice. Let's hope they grow out of it, otherwise I will need a peg for my nose.....soon!

Absoloutly yes DD now 13 her very first word aged 12 months was cardigan! followed by babygrow, then trousers!! strange but 100% true. Her vocab is unreal, she ran out of English words (her words not mine) and now her French and Spanish vocab are better than some A'level students. She talks fluently and confidently with adults, but can't cope with her peers. DD is so immature in so many ways, still soft toys, bath toys and little girl dresses (hates jeans) while her class mates are in to make up and boys! Perhaps I should count my lucky stars she doesn't want to hang out at the shopping center or go to Mcdonalds, or heaven forbid talk to boys! harmony x

Insightfulness 86! that is very interesting, will have to get hubby to do it, but knowing him he will insightfully lie when he answers harmony x

Really interesting discussion, I think we must have just struck lucky with our diagnosis. Had "issues" with daughter for years. She was diagnosed with dispraxia at 5 or 6, we spent the next 6 years dealing with the clumsiness, the obsessions, the innapropriate behaviours, bladder problems, eating problems, innability to understand the world around her. We delt with the meltdowns, the stress, the falling over, the short attention span, the innability to understand concepts such as personal space. As you all know the list is endless.We did not return to our GP for 6 years, as we didn't think there was anything anyone could do, it was our lot, and our daughters, and we just thought we had to get on and deal with it. The only reason we went to GP this year was that DD's wetting was getting out of control, when the GP asked if we had any other problems I listed about 20 things that were hard to deal with. We had private medical insurance, so a couple of days later we had an appt with a consultant paed, who is well known in the field of AS. Within 20 mins we had a diagnosis of AS and ADHD. This diagnosis has been accepted without any issue by our NHS GP and by the school. DD has some one2one support at school. Having a diagnosis hasn't changed anything except that I now know as does DD that her behaviour and habbits are part of this condition and that she is ultra special and may need more help than others with certain things throughout her life. She feels sadly it is a stigma so will not let me tell anyone, but at 13 it is her choice, and if she wants to tell people that is up to her not me. At least with a firm diagnosis I know what I am dealing with, for me it has been a blessing. Just thought I would tell you our experience. Good luck Harmony

Godparents

I was listning to the radio 4 programe you mentioned.......hiss........seethe...... my daughter has AS, dyspraxia and ADHD. I didn't hear the whole program but the 5 mns I did hear there was no mention of ADHD being on the spectrum, but the Dr (well I think he was a DR) was insinuating no child was born with ADHD they aquired it through nuture only, by which he ment (and said) poor parenting, lack of love from parent to child, not enough attention having been given to the child etc etc!!!! My daughter has only ever been given tons of love, attention huggs kisses etc etc since the day she was born, yet she still has ADHD. she has had more attention than most children and yet she has dyspraxia and AS as well. Are they linked? or is it just bad luck for her, and the many other children around the globe that have both AS and ADHD. I don't think this Dr has a clue to be honest, a week in my house might give him a vague idea of real life! sorry not much help to you i'm affraid, it would be good to hear if any one else listened the programe

This is such a tricky one, Hopefully your little one is just going through a period of adjustment, and I am sure he will be fine. Keep your eye on things though as my daughter who is 13 with AS and ADHD still wets now, especially if stressed, it still doesn't bother her, it bothers me more, so she hides her wet things so as not to stress me!! Go to your GP if you think things are getting worse, there are various things you could try. hope all goes well harmony x

HI I call my daughter the angel with elephant feet! she is almost 13, she is tall, about 5ft 5 weighs a mere 6 stone and sounds like a very large elephant, how such a skinny lizzy with the frame the size of a fairy can have such stomping great noisy feet is a mystery to me. I have never heard anything like it!!! harmony x

V111

bag

Hi Like the others not sure how common self harm is, but my daughter age 12 does pick at her skin. If she has a scratch or spot, she will pick and pick until it becomes infected. She had a few mossie bites in the summer, and because of the picking she has been left with scars. She tells me she has no idea she is doing it. I think she must have a high pain threshold, as the sorness never seems to bother her, it just looks dreadful. Her AS is quite pronounced at the moment, but she has made me promise not to tell anyone except her teachers, so when her arms look really bad, it's on with the long sleeves and out with the antibiotics! Harmony x

Just to say, thinking of you. It is such a hard job you are doing, but you are doing it!!! well done. lots of huggs Harmony xx <'>

Thanks so much for all your support. Friends came back from hols, and were fine about the Guinnea pig. Sadly though the little thing had to be put down, as it had stopped eating, and drinking, and was going downhill fast. DD so upset, but as with most things she bounces back quickly (unlike the GP) Will not pet sit again! ever! ever! Harmony x

I think I must have a totally bizarre child!! she scored 6a and 6b in everything at end of yr 6 . Yet had been the bottom of the class all year, with special needs help. one 2 one time etc etc. Now at end yr 7 she has done it again. Disaster for whole year!! falling behind, then exams come and gets A's in virtually everything. The teachers can't explain it neither can she. Yet her AS needs are such that she needs help constantly as can't organise her life, her writing is unreadable ( uses lap top at school) she can't even remember her own address. there was no cheating going on, and we gave her a few tests at home under exam conditions, again really high marks. Our AS kids are bright cookies, they all have differing needs, and what ever grades they get at school, are not accurate reflections of what is really going on inside. Her school is still surporting her as a special needs child, as she has so many issues. It will be interesting to see if this odd exam thing continues as she gets older. Harmony x

Not having a good day!!!! We are looking after someones guinnea pigs while they are on Hols, DD age 12 AS and ADHD, adores animals and insisted taking responsibility for them. They have a outdoor run in the day, and a hutch at night. I can see both from kitchen window. Her job was to feed them day and night, and take them out of hutch and in to run in the morning, and put them to bed at night. She has been doing really well. only had to remind her twice. They are very sweet, and we have got quite fond of them. DISASTER this am, DD rushes in to say somthing was wrong, one of the guinnea pigs seemed paralized from waist down, couldn't move it's legs... very distressing for all.... Took it to vet. He has just phoned to say he has xrayed Guinnea, and found lots of spinal bruising. He said it looks like it's been squeezed too hard! I was absoloutly horrified! The vet is going to keep it in, and see if it regains mobility, in any case he said he couldn't let us have it back (He must think we are animal beaters!!!) and would prefer to wait and discuss matters with the owners who are back in aday or two! I can't belive what DD has done, she has admitted she could have hugged it a bit too much! she does hug us, and everyone else a bit hard. I don't think she realised her own strength. We have cats, and if she is all over them, they will claw and hiss a bit, but this!!!! What in God's name are the owners going to say. They don't know DD has AS, even if they did it is no excuse, I should never have let her handle them unsupervised. I thought we knew her well enough, obviously not. The poor little Guinnea pig! Have any of your kids ever done anything like this? will I ever be able to trust her with animals again!! feeling rubbish Harmony x