CarolineJ

We're flying to Orlando next week and will be visiting all of the parks. Does anybody have any hints or tips?

Bim was 7 when we got his AS diagnosis. We talked to him and his sisters about it straight away. Bim doesn't understand what it is, but he is accepting of it. He loves to read Asperger adventure stories, especially the Kathy Hoopman books. It's only now that he's gone up to middle school that he's really seeing the huge differences between himself and his peers and he's not coping very well at all.

Bim's in the Alnwick middle school system. His headteacher is really good, but CAMHS are not. I've pulled Behavioural Support Services back in to see if they can help in any way. I'm really cross with our local CAMHS actually. They're really letting us down.

I know nothing of CAF and School Action or School Action Plus. This is the first time anyone other than us have taken initiative, even though we've been requesting support before. Bim (Liam) has just started middle school and this new school is much more proactive than his first school, so we're tentatively hopeful for Bim. I have to head out now, so I'll look at those links you've provided later this evening. Many thanks for your reply! Caroline

Lily was born bang on time. Bim (AS) was born 3 weeks early and had the cord around his neck. Ruby (on another planet) was 2 weeks early. Blue was a week late.

My son's head teacher has just called a multi agency meeting this week. We don't have an appointment yet and I don't know how soon I should expect it to take. In fact, I know nothing about it. Bim is 9 and this is a first for us. He has an official diagnosis of AS and has just started middle school this term - we still have the three tier system up here in Northumberland. What should we expect from this meeting. Of course both DH and I will attend. Bim has nothing at all in place, other than termly visits from a Communication Support Specialist and a useless CAMHS unit. Bim thrives academically, it's everything else that he struggles with. Should he have a statement in place?

I read the series and have also read The Host, by the same author. I've lent the books out so often - mostly to the teenage girls in my street, but I'll keep hold of the books for when my oldest wants to read them. She's 10 now, so not far off.

Ruby and Lily want blue too, but it's scuppering my plans of putting different colours in the rooms as our youngest daughter is called Blue and I quite fancied a blue on her walls too! lol

We're moving house in the next couple of weeks. Finally! We're been battling with the defence housing department since March and have justthis week been allocated a new MQ. I'm looking for advice particularly from any adults with AS. We always decorate the bedrooms straight away and this time I want to find a nice calming colour for Bim's room. He's suggested Blue stripes! lol

Sorry to bump up an older thread! I'd love to add friends from here to my facebook page. My name there is Caroline and the surname is like Huggins, but with a J instead of a H.

Bim has no inkling of empathy. He's a lovely boy, but just doesn't have all of his emotions in the right place. We'll take him as he is though I'm sorry your little one has been ill. Pneumonia is awful and it used to take Ruby weeks to months to get over it fully. It's not nice at all.

Bim's only had his diagnosis this year, so we're still finding our feet. As for location and camps, this place is perfect! But then you already know that Good luck. I hope you get a good posting. Where are you now?

Buchan's enough to get anyone to PVR! We were there from 1999-2001. Ouch. Thanks for your support. I'll let you know how we get on.

I know exactly who you are talking about! Older boy and younger girl right? His kids went to the same school as mine! I can't for the life of me remember his name though. Is it the Spanish girl he's marrying? So you were a scopie? Small world! We may have crossed paths in the past As for house stuff, we are entitled to a 4 bed and have been offered 2 over the other side of the village, but really need to push for one on this side as we have worked so hard to give Bim the confidence where he is and if something small can avoid anxiety for him and consequential stress on the rest of the family, then it's our jobs as his advocates to try to do this. It's a big shame we don't own the house we are in as we love it so much. We'd stay here if we could extend onto it.

We're at Boulmer. We're in an awkward position. When Darren was posted here in 2003, there was a situation with MQs that meant we got allocated a 3 bed officer's MQ as there were no 3 bed airman's houses available and though we were coming from a 4 bed, they wouldn't give us a 4 bed up here. We had 3 children then. So fast forward to now - 5 years later. Darren's been posted to the SFC, which is also at Boulmer, so though we don't need to move out of area, we now have 6 people in a 3 bed and it's not working. We applied for a 4 bed, on the same end of the village, to keep the disruption as small as possible for Bim. He knows the geography of this patch. He's also allowed out to play and knows which tree and fences he can go as far as. He's also got some good friends here. The adults here know him too. Here's DEs problem: "We cannot offer you a quarter in that area as it is above your entitlement. You could try putting together a welfare case, but your chances are slim." We've been "in that area" for 5 years! So anyway, I've got SSAFA involved and we're also waiting on letters of support from Bim's CPN and consultant, so for now, we're stuck. *sigh*

There's an article on page 52 of this month's Prima magazine, about a young boy who has a support dog. He's the first person with autism in the UK to have a dog supporting him.

Sorry, I meant to get back to this before. My husband is in the RAF. bjkmummy, have you ever had any difficulties with the RAF/DHE/DE anybody tied to the RAF, regarding your son/s? We having housing problems at the moment and have had to bring in SSAFA and CAMHS *sigh*

We've got the communication support team coming into school on the 9th of next month. They want to meet DH and I first. Bim's CPN at CAMHS requested the assessment and school were very reluctant to accept them as they felt the paperwork was a pain, Bim doesn't need them and they wouldn't come out anyway. Well Bim's teacher is surprised they are coming now! So, DH wants to voice his concerns over Bim's communication with his peers. He's very exaggerated and in their face. It's as though he tries way too hard. I want to see if Bim can get some help with his handwriting. When I mentioned the handwriting concerns to Bim's teacher, she replied "Have you seen mine? hahaha" Does anyone have any advice for this meeting? The lady will be in school for the whole of the morning.

Yes! We noticed it last week too. It sounds like she's got one of those removable brace plates at the roof of her mouth. Very off-putting.

I've just started Deliver Me From Evil by Alloma Gilbert. It's her account of many years of abuse that she received at the hands of her foster mother.

In both situations, my son was not behaving badly. He was distressed and anxious. To be blunt, he was sat sobbing on the floor at the end/corner of an aisle in Sainsbury's when an old "dear" said to him "Will you just be quiet and get out of the way!" as she tried to shove her trolley past him. She then turned to me and said "In my day we did as we were told and respected our elders." My husband was further along the aisle and loudly replied "In my day we have respect for everybody..." until I gave him the *just leave it* glare. Admittedly, we were trying the leave Bim a minute and see if he comes along of his own accord and weren't actually attending to him that second, but even so, the bat had no right to be so rude. In the second situation, we were in a casualty waiting area and Bim was really upset. Not so much about the wound to his mouth, but that bacteria in his blood may rot the Ipswich Town football shirt he had on. Again, and older person chimed in. She said "Do you mind? Some people here don't feel well." That time I was doing my best to console Bim, but obviously wasn't doing a good enough job. Yes, I'll admit to using his condition as a weapon those two times, but I felt so defenceless and was stressed myself, I did the first thing I could think of to diffuse a possible situation. The second lady actually apologised. I apologised for my tone and it led to a very nice conversation. Neither of the situations warranted outside interference, so I felt justified in my reactions at the time. My son is not abuse, nor rude, though I understand he may come across as rude at times when he doesn't quite have the language or understanding needed. In those situations, I step in and explain the proper course of action to him. It's as much a learning experience for us as it is for him.

Twice now, I've handed out AS leaflets (the ones from NAS) and said "Thank you for your concern. If you have a read through this and still decide you want to help parent my child, I'd like next Thursday off." I thought my head was going to explode when I did it, but my god, I felt good after!

Getting a kitten was the best thing we ever did for Bim. The realtionship those two have is something you can't recreate. They're inseperable! I have to show some pictures! http://media0.dropshots.com/photos/20735/20030728/191505.jpg http://media1.dropshots.com/photos/20735/20030920/194239.jpg http://media5.dropshots.com/photos/20735/20031125/171521.jpg Those are all from 2003. Alfie's been a great addition to our house. He even taught our older cat how to be a kitten again!

How do I do it? I don't know! lol Sometimes I wonder why I do it. Practically, we live on routines, persistency, consistency, visual cues, rewards and lots of planning if there's going to be any change in routine. Also, I've had to learn to let go of some of my hang ups and not expect so much of myself. Parenting is such a barrage of guilt. Liam thrives when he knows what's expected of him. He's a slave to his wall charts! I've often said he'd be so much better off if he was an only child, but thinking about it, having to "conform" to larger family rules and expectations may have been a good thing for him. He knows where he stands. Trouble is, he cannot get the attention he desires all.of.the.time. and this is difficult for him, and me, so we have to learn techniques to help him to *swear word* - wait. One big thing I always had, was not to pander to fussy eaters. We've had so many battles with Liam over this and since his diagnosis, we realised why. We do get round it though, so that's good. Self service from a selection of foods (tacos, jacket potatoes and toppings, fajitas etc) makes life a lot easier. At other times, we convince Liam to at least try something (he's often had it many times in the past and enjoyed it, but has forgotten, or is just stressed about it for some reason) once. We never serve any food (on the plate) that we know the children don't like, so feel confident to stick to the pudding rule. We've learnt to not change the rules about things, so all of the children feel secure in knowing where their boundaries are and we don't have constant negotiations! I'm sleep training my 9 month old at the moment. Blue had been poorly for a while and her sleeping had totally gone to pot. She was going from one boob to the other all night! I set myself rules on Monday and have stuck to them since, so I know it's only a matter of time before Blue's fixed! *yawn* Whose idea was it to have 4 children?

Great advice JsMum.