Sooze2

Good luck. Hopefully they will keep their word and phone on Monday. Lets hope some much deserved help is coming your way soon. <'> <'>

Long post warning Its just so hard for the little man at the moment. The month before the summer holidays start are terrible for him and us what with sports day practice and getting ready to move up a year at school he just can't cope and is a very anxious, angry boy. This means we all have to suffer. I told his teacher yesterday that I will need to collect him early (3pm) on Tuesday for the consultants appointment and she said thats fine in fact you can get him just after lunch if you want because he isn't coping with the running races and had a meltdown about not winning during practice. She said he really doesn't want to do it and it would probably be kinder if we took him out of it altogether. Poor little lad. I could have cried for him. Everything we did last night sent him off the scales. I bought them a bubble wand each, the girls had pink he had green. He was very happy for a spilt second then suddenly went totally mental trying to break it and grabbing the pink ones saying he wanted pink, he only likes pink. He kept treatening to hurt the dog and kill her, he caused total mahem all evening. Once the girls were in bed he asked DH to show him how to play the guitar and got very very upset saying he was doing it all wrong - he wasn't and his little face was so full of hurt and anguish. Its breaking my heart. The other day he ripped up a certificate he got from school which he had worked hard to get. After school today the school sell ice lollies, I didn't have any money with me to get them so he went mad even though I said we had plenty at home. He was yelling at one of my daughters at the top of his voice going on and on about the lollies. She was shouting "stop it stop it" I had to pull him away in the end because he was getting scarely. The other parents pretended they weren't looking and did that sudden looking away thing when I looked up. These people were really freindly once, if it was my freind that this was happening to I would ask them if they were ok, they just look away and exchange looks with each other. Does anyone else get this. Is your child more anxious and angry when all the changes at the end of the school year are looming? Sorry for the rant but I had to get it off my chest. I feel so helpless and just want to take it all away.

Gulp.......... On Tuesday the 8th July we are seeing the consultant, they said it would take at least 4 months to come through 2 months ago so I am amazed! I feel this is a sign that they will diagnose as I know the CHAMs lady is behind us all the way and the consultant works in the same building as her. This may be good or bad but it is also sports day that day and the appiontment is after school. There is no way I am re-scheduling the appointment so they will either see DS at his best or worst depending on how sports day goes !!! I'm scared they will say there's nothing wrong with him and I have just messed up his head from being so rubbish. I keep getting very angry and shouty, I am sure I am reacting to the pressure of it all but I am just so angry at the moment at everything. I know that if they diagnose him I will be releived that I was right from the start from when he was a baby. I also know I will be very angry at all the people who poo pooed me including freinds and family and the doctors who in the end told me they don't deal with mental health and to stop asking about it. I'll have to try and let that go out of my head though. God, sorry I'm rambling but I am a bit of a mess at the moment it seems.

Oh my god, that's awful isn't it!!! <'> <'> Anyway I think a group <'> is in order here. I thought I was alone in this and that I was just doing it all wrong!! DH isn't interested so I'm alone at home and drive myself mad with it all. Thanks so much for replying, youhave really made a difference to how I feel about myself. <'>

I don't beleive it. Will you phone them in the morning and chase it up? You could say you are both still really shaken up by the incident and you are now worried sick about what may happen next time, you havn't slept since and are a nervous wreck etc. How dare they not phone you! Have you phoned CHAMs? Personally I would be on the phone demanding a meeting ASAP. ALthough you have probably been through this before and know the drill which I haven't. I just feel angry on your behalf.

Crusty

DH has a problem with needles, he passes out every time he has to have blood taken or for any injection. Mind you he almost passed out when looking around the maternity part of the hospital when I was expecting DS! He shows at lot of signs of Aspergers but it could be coincidence. Don't know the best way to cope with it, maybe a relaxation techique or Calms tablets.

Stupid people who don't care or understant even though the damn well should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Yeah but it's you who has to look after him etc <'>

In a commune with no schools apart from the school of life - MAN

<'> <'> Poor him and poor you, you know my boy never admitted he had ear ache untill he either started falling over a lot or was sick. I would send him the school and he'd cope all day in silence and then be up all night screaming in pain! Its not nice is it. He ended up with grommits in and adenoids out (for drooling constantly snoring etc) which did work. Good luck for tomorrow.

<'> <'> It must be a great relief. Sorry to hear abour your husband's reaction before and since, he sounds as supportive as mine! Have some more hugs <'> <'>

That sounds like a great idea Bard. I think they should get homework that THEY can do rather than the parents to be honest, surely it should be based on the things they have beeing doing at school just to see if theyve understood the lessons and to reinforce it! Rather than my year 3 boy getting year 4 homework and me having to do it all for him like this weeks maths (oops I mean numeracy - lucky DS didn't hear that!) especialy. If he had been doing this work at school he would have known what to do surely!!!! But that is silly of me really, its not his teachers fault its him isn't it - I seriousely mean that becasue she is really nice and understanding. I wrote the teacher a note a few months ago saying that homework was becoming such a stressful issue for me that I wouldn't be doing it with him anymore and suggested they start a homework club at school! She took it in good humor which is how it was meant but half of me meant it and hoped they would start that club! I think its important that the child feels they are doing well and should get work according to ability, the teachers should have home/school books to report the real stuff like how the child is ACTUALLY doing IMO. BUT DS is very very bright but can't record those thoughts to make it show which is where everyone, teacher, child, parent is frustrated I wish you taught at our school Bard. Sorry, an essay again!

PMSL - you said it better than me!! Hugs <'>

Oh no poor little guy, I hope you can get Furby mended I feel terrible now though, not long ago I had to tell DS that Furby wasn't real because when the batteries ran out he thought is was dead, I didn't have any batteries to put in and he was very very upset. I thought he knew it wasn't real! He hasn't used it since he realised it was battery opperated!!!

Ive just done writing homework with one of my twins who's 5 and in reception. She wrote 4 lines telling the teacher where she goes for a walk in the woods. It took about 5 minutes. She then drew a picture of the woods and river. I helped her spell a lot of the words and used both phonics and letter names but she was great, no fussing, no tantrums.................. which brings me to my point. DS is 8 - 9 in October. He takes at least 10 minutes usually a lot more to think of a sentence which usually has 3 - 4 words. I then have to make a sentence up for him because he refuses to extend them to use more words. I then have to spell every word using phonics because he refuses to recognise letter names. I have to remind him to use finger spaces, capital letters and full stops every time! This can take a very long time with intervals of tanrums, crying, falling off the chair, dropping the pencil, breaking the pencil me leaving the room to go outside for a fag so I don't ring his neck.................... are you getting the picture yet.. Editing to say that this is just the first sentence, he has to do 8 - with spellings! He is said to be very bright, I thought it would happend but didn't realise how quickly my daughters are catching up with him. I don't and haven't done much work with them up until recently because I always thought it was my fault he reacted like he did. Feel very guilty I have done this. How come his teachers have always said he hasn't got a problem up untill this school year!!!! I feel quite sad...................

I went on them when my twins were 5 months because I had no help and they had all sorts of feeding probs due to reflux and milk intolerance which meant that DS had no attention and was going wild. I was on them for under a year but they made me feel very weird, like a zombie, I just couldn't care less about anything and was becoming a very shouty person which I had never been before. They also gave me megga panic attacks. That was 4 years ago and I feel that something in me changed since I'd been on them and I am still very very shouty which I hate so much. I think I should probably be on them again but the side effects, weight gain and the hideous withdrwal symptoms that I suffered really put me off. I'm not sure if I needed them because of the twins or because DS was going wild or both.

Hiya, I thought I would say hello. I'm new too but seem to be addicted to this place already. What started to get school to listen to me was to write a diary of everything he got upto that was causing upset and worry. I have also read that some people video their children having meltdowns and being challenging etc but mine always used to catch me doing that but you may have more success. I was lucky in a way in that when mine started year 3 the poo really hit the fan and the teachers saw a different side of him in terms of challenging behaviour at school and once he had shown his true colours he hasn't really stopped! He used to able hold it all together really well but once someone has seen him flip a few times he doesn't bother to cover it up with that person anymore. He now acts like himself in most situations because he can't seem to hold it in so much but it does mean that it's not all directed at me anymore! Does your son tell you of situation that happened at school that he found hard, like in the playground, not understanding questions then getting told off for not doing the work etc. If he does write that in your diary too because the teacher may not be aware that he is not coping because he isn't telling her or asking for help - my ds never asks for help and rarely talks to the teacher or even looks at her! Mine used to get told off for constantly fidgeting and getting out of his chair, interupting, not listening, distracting others etc etc. I wasn't told about this until he reached year 3 and he was always upset about it because he didn't know why he was being told off because he wasn't aware of what he was doing most of the time. Ive also heard that Martian in the Playground is a very good book to explain what an AS child goes through at school. Not sure of that makes sence really, its late and I do waffle.

<'> <'> <'> So sorry you are going through this, what a worry for you. I hope you hear from SS soon so they can give you some support. I hope you DS is ok too.

Editing to say - blimey this is long - sorry! I think it depends on the dog, there are some dog breeds that I don't like and am naturally warey of and will never own and some people can't understand why. My old licky, jumpy uppie, manic Jack Rustle would have given DS a nervous breakdown for sure but like I said earlier Lurchers are notourious for being lazy layed back dogs but very fast and entertaining when off the lead. The effect our recent 4 year old addition has had on our Aspergers son's life has been very dramatic to say the least! His fear of dogs was actually dissabling for him and us because we are outdoorsy people (is that a word?). We are very luckily that we found the right dog for us and him and he is now taking up the challenge of saying hello to dogs that we meet if he feels like it and that we deem to be calm enough to reinforce the fact that dogs are ok. It makes him feel great and very brave that he has done it too, just the fact that he doesn't run as fast a possible away everytime is a bonus so touching a dog is megga A puppy wouldn't have been suitable here because it would have had the opposite effect on DS because they are very unpredictable. We have been lucky, but we don't allow her to jump up or annoy the kids and we won't let them annoy her either, it works both ways and they need to learn this about all animals at some point in their lives. If they were to annoy her, push her around or hurt her they would be told off whether they have AS or not. At the end of the day there are 5 people living in my house and there is no way one person is going to controll every aspect of it. There are times when he has simply objected (violently or with tantums) to something for days only because that thing is taken attention away from him and he hates it if he isn't the center of our universe. Sometimes majority has to rule I'm affraid! But thats how it is in my house, youve made the right decision for your family no one can tell you what is best for you apart from you. But it's great for me to hear how others deal with their lives so I can pick up tips and stratagies - I need all the help I can get. I don't know why I wrote more really but I just felt the need. I know my son isn't as badly affected as some and perhaps thats why he has coped. Who knows.

PMSL same here He has always been like it, the blighter even refused to come out at birth because someone told him to do it, had to be induced at 42 weeks and ended in a ceasaian! He has seriousley been arguing since he started to talk and like you say he takes everything literally so you have to expalin what you mean about 15 times. DH insists on using figures of speech constantly and lots of sarcasm and the more I explain that he is making things worse the more he does it He argues with his teachers and causes himself huge problems at school which he thinks are totally unjust. I am dreading the teenage years when he is supposed to be like it!

How did did you get them to join in the first place, mine went twice and there was no way he was going back - ever !

Try and get an early night and make the most of having the bed to yourself. You can even have a lie in! If DH phones again pretend youre in bed so you don't have to think about it

DS will argue over anything, has to have the last word and won't take no for an answer. He literally argues about everything, I can't say anything at all without it turning into a discussion/debate and it's very very wearing. I can't even talk to DH without him interupting and arguing about what I'm saying! I just wondered if this is just normal behavoiur or whether it's worse with AS children.

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Youve come to the right place, its so friendly and just knowing there are others going through the same thing and you won't be judged is sometimes enough. Welcome.