Elanor

Bid and Baddad - I don't disagree with either of your arguments about consequences and responsibility. However, I wanted to make 2 points really - firstly that the aggressive behaviour might be linked to stress and anxiety, and those root causes should be understood and addressed as well. Punishing a behaviour and understanding it are not mutually exclusive. Secondly, an ASD child experiencing an extreme meltdown or rage (see Myers/Southwick 'Asperger Syndrome and Difficult Moments' which was a breakthrough read for me) is not rational, is not in control and as a consequence, isn't responsible for what he does. He might not even be aware of what he has done, and in the aftermath can be incredibly vulnerable. This isn't in the same league as a tantrum and it shouldn't be treated in the same way. As for Time Out - particularly the version whereby a child's period of exclusion increases with the extent of his defiance - l think it might not work because its confrontational, works only if the child will back down and go into Time Out in the first place, and can just escalate the situation and even provoke meltdown. Elanor

Hi Viper I really do empathise with your situation - my son's aggression really started to get out of control at 7. I think this is an age when many children with ASD have increased behavioural problems. Bid has given you tremendous advice and I endorse every word of it - but I also think it's well worth emphasising the causes. The aggression can be a response to stress - and 7 is an age when children are increasingly exposed to demands at school from teachers and from their peer group. My son became more aware of the differences between himself and other children, and found that he could not confrom to the demands of schooling and the exposure to 'real life' as easily as other children. These pressures built up, and he simply didn't have a way to express his difficulties or to cope with them. Of course he needed to learn and understand boundaries, but it always helped to understand why he behaved so badly, and that sometimes punishment was not appropriate. If he lost control, was this because he was doing something naughty, or because he was overwhelmed with feelings he didn't have the means to control or deal with? If it was the second, then why would I punish him, and what did it do to him when he was punished? BTW I really don't recommend 'time out' for a child with ASD (neither does my son's psychiatrist) - it can be like a red rag to a bull. Over the years we've learned to focus our efforts on reducing the situations where he feels stress, anticipating danger points, and controlling his life and experiences to enable him gradually to learn how to control himself. Like you, he had a safe space which he wouldn't use. Slowly he has learned how to remove himself to his safe space, and to regain control (not wothout a lot of damage to the said safe space!). It's taken 5 years and greater maturity (and medication as well), and a lot of sacrifice (from the whole family - spontanaeity was probably the first sacrifice, my husband's career the second) - but we really are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. He's a lovely smart and loving teenager now, he still has his problems, but we live with them and things are so much better. Every child's different, and I wouldn't presume to compare my situation to yours. I hope you're able to get some help from CAHMS. Elanor

My son was diagnosed by a child psychiatrist (twice - he saw one at CAMHS and a private one). It didn't take long to get the diagnosis, even though he has 'mild' Aspergers. I think you're better off going this route - but if you don't get a diagnosis that you think is right, and if you don't think the psychiatrist has spent enough time investigating, then don't stop there. Demand another opinion - if you can find one, try to get a referral to a local specialist in ASD (try NAS or any local groups in your area, or ask your GP to make enquiries to find a psychiatrist with an interest in ASD). I hope you get the help you need. Elanor

Runescape was very big in my house - but they've moved onto World of Warcraft. The skills and friendships they gained were amazing - but my younger NT (10) boy got badly scammed twice on Runescape - and gave it up after that, as he was very upset.

This was a study on adults with intellectual disability. I have read debate that the study shows that anti-psycotic medication has been inappropriately prescribed when what was needed was behavioural interventions - and that the interesting improved results where placebos were used resulted simply from the individuals receiving a degree of attention which didn't usually get. I'm not sure it casts much light on the usefulness of risperidone in treating aggression or anxiety in children with Asperger's Syndrome - this study didn't in fact look at this group of people.

Hi My son is on 0.5mg per day - one dose in the morning. I believe that the drug metabolises quickly - it doesn't have a cumulative effect. I suggest you discuss the dosage with the professional who subscribed it, it's quite normal to experiment with doses and timings until you settle on something that is effective for your child. Elanor

Does anyone know a specialist in ASD in children, operating in the Rotherham area? A friend desperately needs some help, having been fobbed off a couple of years ago, and is now trying to get a referral. Please don't name anyone in your responses, so as not to break forum rules - could anyone who can help PM me please? Many thanks Elanor

Mine goes to Scouts - it's fantastic, particularly as the leader has a boy with AS and several other AS kids from our local group go there too. It's a really successful and large local group - they do lots of camping, encourage independence and have a clear discipline and ethos of helping each other. Main attraction for my son, is that they make fires all the time! Elanor

Hi Hope things are settling down for you. I came across this recently on Risperidone - now approved in America by the FDA for the treatment of 'irritability' in children with AS http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=53709 Elanor

Hi Have a look here for other threads on this topic http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...ebster+stratton I've done the course, and think its an excellent general parenting course, but it has nothing specific in it for children with AS. Some of the techniques - especially time out - are, i think, harmful to children with AS. If you need help in managing a child with AS, then Webster Stratton misses the point by being too general, and focusing on the parent (or at best, the family) as being at fault. Elanor

Hi I'm so pleased that you're getting some respite, and that your son's behaviour is calming down. I'm sure he's much happier - and this could give you a tremendous window to make things better in the longer-term. Elanor

If your doctor recommends risperidone, then I'd suggest you give it a trial. It has a short-term effect in the body - which means that it can have an almost immediate impact on behaviour, but can be withdrawn (under proper medical guidance) very quickly. This makes it quite suitable for a trial (unlike something like Prozac, which can take 3 weeks to have any effect). Risperidone is the only medication tested on children with AS and found to have a substantial benefit on aggression over a lengthy period. Of course nothing works for everyone, but it should be worth a try. My son did suffer weight gain, but the gain stopped after a few months, and now that adolescence is setting in, and he's getting taller, he isn't noticeably heavier than other kids his age. Interaction with sertraline is something you'll have to take professional advice on. You might perhaps find that you don't need both, as risperidone also affects mood and anxiety. You describe a home-life that no-one should have to tolerate, and that is doing your son and your family no good at all. I'm sure that doing nothing is not an option. Medication isn't the only answer, but it can be part of a solution - particularly as it can give you the opportunity of a calm period during which all the good parenting techniques have a chance of having an impact. Take care. Elanor

Thanks everyone - I guess I'll be busy now trying to follow up all your ideas. The BBC website is great, and I'm going to try some of your suggestions to find a tutor locally. Thanks Elanor

Nellie I'll miss you - thanks for everything you've done for us all. Elanor

Thanks everyone, it really helps to read your ideas. Canopus - I really want to help my son reach his potential, and the schooling he's getting won't achieve this. It's not really about his special needs - I just think he could be learning more and enjoying learning. I'll certainly have a look in the papers - maybe the Times Ed as well. D's Mum - you're right about the G&T - and I will challenge them, because I like being awkward, but not because I think it'll get us anywhere. I'll use that link. Elanor

Thanks J's Mum We've been through the SN education loop for years - and I know we don't have a chance at a statement (we have an IEP, but the truth is that it's nothing but lip service), or of being referred to a specialist school. We're looking at scholarships - although there's only a handful of local private schools, and few have any scholarships. I really do take your point about how abysmal state education is - I guess I'm just being pragmatic about it - trying to make the best of bad job, and I can afford to pay for some private tuition (even though it is ridiculous that I shoudl have to). The school's SENCO knows us well, and I don't really have a complaint with him - we have persuaded them to provide decent pastoral care, but the school is basically 'bog standard'. I asked about extra tuition or gifted/talented programmes (he is clever enough) - after 3 months the school got back to us to say that their gifted talented prgramme is only for kids who're good at music and drama At heart, the school can't provide a good academic standard - just a basic one, and I'm sorry, but that isn't good enough. My son has got good brains, and I want him to make the best of these - God knows he has enough AS-related other problems with socialisation and stress, we want him to make the best of the skills he's got. Trouble is, I don't know where to find extra help - let alone persuade him to do it! Elanor

My son, nearly 13 and AS, goes to a very average state school in South Yorkshire. There isn't a better school for him to go to - in my area only 2 of the state schools are above national average achievement. He's getting a poor education - its more crowd-control than teaching. He doesn't like disruption, and he's very bright - so he's either bored or distracted in class. The teachers don't really care - because he's getting good grades, but he could do so much better. I can't afford private school - so what can I do to improve his education? How do I find private tutors, or small private weekend classes (ICT and maths), or really good software? I've been looking on the itnernet, but it's really hit and miss. Any good ideas? Elanor

I'm so very sorry Simon - I hope you and your family can take some time to grieve, and that you take care of yourselves. Elanor

Hi Adderal is a treatment for ADHD, and risperidone/risperdal is a treatment (not cure) for anxiety and aggression in AS. I'm not sure that either are suitable for treating OCD. I'd recommend you to speak with your GP about the OCD, and he might be able to suggest something herbal - he might suggest an antidepressant, to help with anxiety. Given your heart condition, you clearly have to be really careful about anything that you take. However, if your GP is ok with it, you could consider St John's Wort, which is a herbal treatment for depression/anxiety. It's very mild and I use it from time to time when I'm feeling a bit too low - it does work for mild depression, and I didn't notice any side-effects. But once again, please be cautious in taking anything at all when you have heart problems. Elanor

You could call it 'autistic traits' - but I agree that you really need something more specific - this sitting on the fence attitude about diagnoses is often because you haven't got far enough up the feeding chain. Is there an autism specialist child psychiatrist in your region? The NAS might help locate someone, and you could ask for a second opinion on diagnosis. I really understand the feelings of tiredness (I'm feeling engulfed by it right now, after a morning of trying to find lost items and treading on eggshells) but things really do get better. Your son might behave young for his age, but he will continue to develop - more slowly than normal, but development nonetheless, and you won't always feel like this. Hope you have a better day today. Elanor

Hi Jinny, and welcome to the forum. Autistic Spectrum Disorder is an umbrella term that describes a very wide range of autistic conditions, and is rather vague as a specific diagnosis. Asperger's fits firmly within ASD, but Aspergers describes a specific range of behaviours shared by these children. I think it is a much more useful diagnosis, and my instinct is that you should always use this as your description of your son's problems. My son had a private diagnosis first, which an NHS specialist was happy to confirm. I wonder whether the NHS specialist you saw was aware of the private opinion - if so, he'd probably confirm it, as doctors really don't like to disagree with each other in public. It might be worth going back to the NHS and clearly asking for a (written) view as to whether they agree he has Aspergers. I suspect the school might react more positively to this, and I certainly found it more useful for claiming benefits - Asperger's essentially explains where your child is on the autistic spectrum, which ASD doesn't. Elanor

Whilst I feel I should be generous and agree with Mossgrove on this one, I'm afraid I'm actually with Kathryn. Ruth Kelly is not any other private person - she is someone who took decisions that impacted on the eduction that all our kids experience. I'd like to know why the local state schools cannot deal with her child's dyslexia - and whether Ruth Kelly had responsibility for it. Elanor

Hi Sorry you had a rotten Christmas. It's no fun being back at work (hence the reason I'm writing this instead of tackling my intrays) - January is depressing, and I have to say that my experience is that you do get more sensitive and more bad tempered as you get older - if I had any sense I'd just give into it, but actually I do my very best to hide my sensitivity and bad temper, which just makes it worse! Stick with it - everyone feels bad on a Monday after Christmas, even if they were lucky enough to have a good Christmas. Get some mid-morning chocolate - I know I will. Hope things pick up today. Elanor

Hi Sadly my experience was nothing like Shamu's - 20 week wait to start the process of diagnosis at a time when we were in absolute crisis. We saw a child psychiatrist privately (on our health insurance - one appointment paid for at �200) - luckily for us it only took one appointment to get the diagnosis (so much for school and GPs who thought there was nothing wrong that a bit of discipline couldn't cure). We then took this diagnosis (which was irrefutable given the reputation of the specialist concerned) and went back to CAMHS and used it to get a much earlier appointment, when the diagnosis was confirmed by the NHS (4 years later and we're still seeing the same excellent NHS child psychiatrist). Also, I can't say that we received much in the way of help - ie the diagnosis was confirmed, we see the specialist every 6 months, and for the rest, we're pretty much on our own. From this forum, it does seem that things are geting better in terms of available support, and hopefully you'll be able to key into this - but you'll need to go through the NHS route for that. So, I'd suggest that if you're faced with intolerable delays, then by all means seek a private diagnosis whilst at the same time going through the NHS route - you can do both at once! Meanwhile, I suggest that you treat your son as if you already had a diagnosis of Aspergers - and really this means that you have to give him far more attention than other children, treat him as a much younger child, reduce your expectations, plan things carefully and set out routines, avoid spontanaeity, and try to think about how difficult he finds things that other kids find easy, and how helpless, confused and stressed he might be. It's a long hard process, and you need to learn about Aspergers - Tony Attwood's books are a great place to start. Best of luck Elanor

Hi I hope you have a useful meeting on Monday. You should be prepared for the GP saying that he can't prescribe some medications, in which case you'll have to push for a referral to someone who can - although that shouldn't stop him giving you advice. At the same time, GPs will have very little experience of prescribing something like risperidone to autistic children, and might be quite ignorant about it. For information on side-effects of risperidone (brand name risperdal) try this: http://www.nmhct.nhs.uk/Pharmacy/risperidone.htm However, none of the information readily available on side-effects is really specific enough to children with autism taking very low doses of the drug. All the information you get is based on adults with psychotic disorders taking realtively high doses. Risperidone can be useful for children with AS, but this is an incidental benefit of the drug and not one that is very well understood. With risperidone in particular, you need to talk to someone who is very knowlegeable about it's use in autism, and that's usually a child psychiatrist. You will also need to learn about regular checks (my son has 6 monthly blood tests). Other drugs that can help include anti-depressants to treat stress and anxiety (which in turn of course can lead to agression). A lot of the anti-ds have been ruled out for children, but I believe that fluoxetine (Prozac) is still available, this might help: http://www.nmhct.nhs.uk/pharmacy/depr2.htm Best of luck Elanor