reuby2

aw thanks everyone It just seems to grate on my nerves and me and hubby never have any time to ourselves and when we do want to do anything we have this tremendous struggle....i feel shattered!!!!! We can't go out at night because he will not stay with anyone else so me and hubby end up getting frazzled at each other !!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't like to feel as if i am forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do but like jayjay says when he actually does whatever, he most of the time enjoys it.

Hi, We are having a lot of problems trying to get "J" to get out of the house or want to do anything...I mean anything.It is a constant battle at the weekends and we have a kind of deal going where we go out one day and stay in the next.Still it is really hard and my hubby and me feel really controlled ,not free to do as we want to. He has just gone to take the dogs with his dad, when we had his dog he promised to take it out at the weekends but he doesn't want to. He has just had a major meltdown because we have made him go.We think he needs some fresh air and exercise but he just wants to run round the house.They were off school yesterday and he spent most of the day watching the t.v, he didn't want to play with his toys or me and it was a bit impossible.When he is awake he wants us to play his games (imaginary roleplay) and we do but he wants our attention all the time and gets a bit nasty if he doesn't get it. Hubby and me feel shattered.WE have been making him go to beavers but since his dx we have been a bit less forceful as we didn't know whether it was worth him getting so het up.Once he is there he has a great time and the same when we go out, it just seems to be the initial power struggle. If we gave in to him he would never go out or do anything so we don't know what to do.Does anyone have any advice please.....PLEASE!!!!

Hi Julie, I know just how you are feeling right now, I have an inherent need to defend my son ,I think it's because I don't just want everyone to Sum him up or think they know him because they know the label.If any of that makes sense give yourself a choccie biscuit!! I thought at first that hearing everything that was said about my son and reading it in writing (first report, I've not received the final one in writing yet) took something away from him or somehow was summing up his whole life. However I have spend the last 5 or 6 weeks educating myself and I have found it especially Helpful to read what adults with autism and aspergers have to say (as well as everyone else on this site,it goes with out saying..."i'm not worthy,i'm not worthy ) I have now come to the conclusion that Life is life,unique,our life may be a bit different or we may have to work harder and yet we still get to see our children laugh (at what they think is funny) and smile and that makes it all worthwhile.My son is still my son and Nothing has changed. I think the best thing is them having support in school. Forgive me for wittering on.I feel really positive about things now (i didn't at first because i didn't understand and we still haven't been given any leaflets or info by the proffessionals) but this site is great!!!!!! "WE LOVE KRISM,WE LOVE KRISM"

my son is using a alarm at night at the moment.During summer he had one that went under the sheet and made a very loud noise and within a few weeks he was starting to get dry in fact he went to 4 weeks in a row dry and we thought he had cracked it so we stopped using it, gave it back to the nurse and then everything went back to square one so nurse gave us the new kind which is a personal buzzing alarm and for the last 2 weeks we have tried that but for us it is useless, he just doesn't wake up so she is getting us the other kind again.We also had a problem whereby if he woke up he couldn't get back to sleep before using the alarm but now it seems to have helped in that respect as when we have had to get him up now he goes straight back to bed.I think it aims to try to train the body to be aware of what is happening and eventually to wake them up before they get wet.I would definitly give it a go as they hate it happening to them(getting wet) Fi x

My hubby says he's going to cancel the internet........Just let him try Snarl,snarl

mmmmmmmnnnnn Tatters I try not to eat things with wings (or rather with their wings still on !) as they get stuck in myyyy teeeeeeeeeeeth, so i think you're safe!!! Bump, Bang, Kapowee,Bish, Boff, Bash....... ...Kersplosh....................(tripped in the pool) ............ ....................... OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH where am I?..........................................Who am I?........ Why is there a huge paddling pool in here? who is that winged one in the corner? Who am I....Who am I...does anyone know my name?????????? Oh well, i'll just lounge in the pool for a while...something about frogs.... Maybe i'm a frog????? ...............splash splash. Gribmeow, gribimewo, ribeow....No it's no good I don't sound like a frog at all Maybe I'll book in to see the reech therapist !!!!!

yep it sure is. My hubby keeps telling me off as i keep sneaking off to check the new posts!!!!! In fact he has just made a cuppa and said "here you are trouble, if you can tear yourself away"

THANKS Malika,Kirtsie,halleys comet and everyone else who has replied. It's amazing how connecting with another human being makes you feel much stronger.I am so glad I found this site !!!!!!!!!!

MMMMmmmm...........................streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch......... ......................................... Is anyone there? Gosh I was dreaming about hens....eggs...and chick,chick.............. chicko time!!!!! Meeoow I think i'll just have another little ...........just a little ..... mmeeowzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ..........................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Isn't he blind?

oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh if you've got chocolate i'm moving near you.

I might just force you to eat some Quorn!!!!!!

PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I'll just settle down to wait till the party starts later, Wake me up before you go ,go!!!!!

Knock Knock who's there Me Me who mEooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow Can I come in? Prettty purrlease? I have my own cat suit.......lycra All I need is a warm place to stay near the fire?? with some milk and cookies. It's cold outside the batcave.

Thanks every one and Thanks Malika, I took the time to understand what you have printed and it kind of explains things better.Talk about conflicting emotions, right now I am feeling angry at society for making my son different (i know it's not society that is to blame but they will treat him as having a " disorder" ) as i say i am feeling angry (in case you didn't guess) I don't want my son to suffer through school etc because he acts differently, walks around the playground on his own and doesn't like the children coming up to him.I want them to do something so that he doesn't have to spend dinnertime on the playground.I asked Camhs and also his teacher who is the SENCO (she is great) about getting a statement ,which i have read about on here, but they both discouraged me from doing that and they didn't bring it to my attention in the first place. They have said that the next step is to get the Autism Outreach Team to come into school and help with strategies etc. The school he is at now are very good however next september he will start a new school so I don't know how well they will help. Will a statement help? The teacher said that it is just a piece of paper and not to worry about it , at Camhs they said it would be very difficult to get one. I know it's stupid but i just keep thinking if he would only talk to the kids or act differently he would be a lot happier, school is torture to him he hates it. Why don't school have activities at dinnertime anyway for those kids who don't enjoy having nothing to do????????????? Another point is that "j" had a bad reaction to his first MMR and I haven't let him have his second but i swear that after that he was never the same, always ill etc. Oh well you could never prove it anyway. Thanks for letting me rave, I am a nice person usually ,quite mild really but at the moment i feel opinionated !!!!!!

Do you know after reading more about this I am coming to the conclusion that it is society as a whole that needs to change it's own rigidness!!!!! Why should our children be treated as "disabled" just because they do things or see things in a different way?? I have a friend who is dyslexic and when he went to school they thought he was just "thick" yet he is one of the most clever people practically that i know.Anything needs fixing, plumbing, heating, plastering,electrics you name it, he can do it well.Years ago people only recognized intelligence in terms of english and maths however it is now recognized that there are different types of intelligence and ways in which the brain works.It's a bit like because someone is a minority whether it be because of race ,class,language etc it is a problem but it's not really a problem it's just that people around them have to learn a new way of talking to them, perhaps a new language or doing things in a different way.As an example I am a vegetarian and If you tried to make me eat meat because everyone else was and insisted that i had to i would display lots of undesirable behaviour (i Promise). It's the same with some of our kids..certain things are uncomfortable for them or frightening to them...whearas perhaps a lot of other kids wouldn't be bothered....but who says the majority are right just because it doesn't bother them?????? I know that if i speak to my son and explain clearly what i want him to do, he does it.However Dad doesn't speak clearly and does things differently than us so it results in frustration and shouting, hitting etc. Please ignore me if i have said anything offensive but different isn't a bad thing.A lot of the problems that my son has already and will face are due to other people..their problem...their teasing etc.It's them that need educating. I know I did but it has only taken weeks for me to come to this conclusion. In this day and age of supposed tolerance and educating about different religions etc, everyone should be taught that not everyone thinks or processes things in the same way but...SO WHAT???? DOES IT MATTER???????? Okay rant over........... Clearing my head and feelings.......... Deep breath.........................................

My son has just received a diagnosis of hfa, however he has an active imagination and I am questioning whether the dx is right.How can one proffessional think one thing concerning a dx of autism and another have a different view?It makes you wonder who is right?????

I feel much better today thanks to you all but I am now questioning whether they have got it right! I have been reading some more about autism and when they say how lots of autistic children don't play with toys or have an imagination.Well "J" has a great imagination role playing and so on. I am now concerned that I may have given the wrong impression or answered their question wrong etc.I suppose the thing that made me so unsure is my mums attitude which is that there is nothing wrong with him, he is a bit quirky and that i have got him labelled.She thinks that the proffesionals are busybodies who make problems,don't know what they are talking about etc. and that i have caused this problem by telling them all this.Whearas a lot of people on this forum seem to have had to fight to get a diagnosis etc this has been really quick and out of the blue to us."j" has a speech problem but only with pronunciation, his understanding and comprehension is above average.So he has no problem communicating ,the problem is that his speech makes it more difficult for people to understand him, if that makes sense. Yes he is bossy and likes to tell us how to play and what to be in the game etc and gets angry if we don't do what he wants but we do put our foot down now about that which results in him getting more angry but in the end he will find a compromise. I can see what they mean by saying that he is putting all his effort into just coping at school (he is quiet there) . AAAAAAAAAArGGGG I don't know what to think.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Forgive any spelling mistakes please as i aren't feeling like checking it !!!!!!!

I always fancied being a cat, Black lycra cat suit etc. In my dreams!!!!!!!!!

You are all so special and if it hadn't been for all you lot I would have gone under 3 weeks ago.Just being able to talk to you and read about your experiences has made me feel much more positive for the future. Thanks ,Thanks, Thanks. I feel much better after that huge bottle of bacardi!!

Well they have said that my son is HFA.I don't know what else to say.I was okay then i wasn't ,then I am.Speak to you all soon. Fi xx

I used to work at a supermarket near to where robbie lived about 12 years ago and he came in to buy some ciggies,I heard everyone getting excited and saying robbie williams is here,although I was 21 at the time the only williams I knew was robin williams (Mork!!) so when he came to be served he made some crackpot remark and I gave him the dirty look from hell as if to say "Just who the hell do you think you are !!" Next time he came in to be served i had found out who he was and was shaking like a leaf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am just soooooooooooooooooooooo shallow!!

This is excellent news, I'm so happy for you.Usually it takes a few weeks to help anyway so this is great. <'>

............................................................................... (skulking in the corner)

Hiya, so sorry to hear about how you have been treated and I feel downright angry that any child would be treated that way .I have only just found out that my son has autistic features but even before that i believed that every child should be treated with dignity and understanding.I can totally understand how your son felt about this and I am not suprised that he would be swearing etc because of the total frustration and his feeling of powerlessness in that situation.I would be down at that school in a flash ,the attitude of the teachers is appaling.If they want to be treated with respect then they must give respect.Just to let you know i'll be thinking of you !!!! Fi xx <'> <'> <'>