BethK

Thank you Suze, that's reassuring to know. He is pretty canny for his age, I've always said the non-speach doesn't stop him from getting/doing what he wants He is clever, in that he can work things out at the drop of the hat and you can't fool him but looking at him, everything else, he is still like an 18month old. Nursery has helped him along pretty well, so hoping a specialist school can do more, so that he can lead as normal as a life that he can x

yeah IKWYM, I'm glad it's happening, I've been fighting my son's corner for a solid 14-15 months and now I sort of can relax. He needs to right care and treatment, I just don't want him to be speechless for life

Taking his age into considering and the spiteful things kids can say, he most likely doesn't want to accept it because of that simple fact. Is he, low, medium or high on the scale? Could you ask for help from social services? Speak to a behavioural nurse or ask if there is a way to introduce him to someone else on the scale, who is classed at the same level as him? Might be worth a try, if he can meet someone around the same age as him or a slightly older teen.

Does your son go to any educational setting? Has it gone to panel? Or is the application still sitting with the LEA/relevent person? I think the not knowing is stressful, sitting around and waiting. Although, my son's application went through start of Jan and has been accepted (awaiting for his nursery to write a requested report before going further). Wokingham borough council are very good with their processes, it also seems that we have a high amount of ASD kids/adults in our area. I spoke to social services the other day and they said that families actually move to this borough, basically because the assistance is very good. Fingers crossed and good luck xx

looks like you have some good strategies in place x Have you thought of the possibility of getting him a trampoline for the garden? ASD kids, especially younger, seem to like to 'bounce', stress reliever to some

I'm sorry if this has been answered but I'm lacking caffine and not concentrating Firstly, I am sorry to hear that your son is having a bad experience in school, Senior school at that age isn't easy for a kid without ASD, let alone a kid with ASD! Does his school have an attached SEN officer/tutor? Also, what his 'friends' (i use the term losely) are getting him to do, is actually classed as bullying, so that needs to be nipped in the butt very quickly. How severe are his learning disabilities? If a SEN officer is refusing to statement him, you know you can start the process off by yourself, might be worth giving the NAS a call for further advice on this route. Do you have an ASSIST team in your area? If so, please do give them a call too for advice, never know, they maybe able to help you. By your post, he seems to understand his actions AFTER they have occured but not before? His school HAS a duty of care and if they know your son has some sort of learning disability and that he is unable to conceive the concept of what people tell him, they DO need to keep an eye on him. I would personally make a formal complaint to the school board if this is a common thing that happens i.e. they aren't keeping an eye on him. I do not have experience with teenage kids, as my son is very young compared to yours but the violent outbursts, I do understand how it feels to be at the end of them. Keep fighting his and your corner, please don't give up! Are there are ASD organisations/charities in your area, that could help with advice?

Thank you x I'm excited as I really thought they would dismiss it. But at 3 and a half and not speaking and his other issues, I was hoping it wouldn't be tossed out due to his age. Fingers crossed it goes through without a hitch, as I really could do with him going to a specialized school in september!

I received a letter today, saying that my son's application for statementing has gone through and a full assesment is taking place. I was a little confused about it, so called the relevant number, they explained that the people at the panel have accepted the application but they want a full written report from his nursery before going further. Gotta be something,right?

ohhh now that sounds interesting! Congrats and good luck x

Good luck and I hope it turns out for the better xx

How about home schooling? My brother had a bad episode of M.E when he was 14 and lasted till he was 17. In his last year, the government supplied him with a home-school tutor. He managed to sit his English and mathes GSCE's, could this be an option? Citalopram is widely used for people with anxiety issues, not sure about crossing it with other meds, as I do not have experience with that. I would have thought they would use a mood stabiliser, rather than an anti-d, like they would with Bi-polar, has a better effect than anti-d's. Could you speak to a GP about that?

Last year, I was placed on Citalopram, started on 20mgs, went up to 60mgs. I just wasn't handling my son's condition too well, I stopped sleeping (when I say 'stopped', I was getting 2hrs a night). I was tearful a fair part of the day, when my son kicked off, I would end up locking myself in the bathroom and crying. My skin was pasty, my appetite wasn't there and I was thinking that my son would be better off without me, a lot of the time. Citalopram helped me, first by regulating my sleep, which in turn helped me clear my head out and I was then able to take my son under a wing and deal with him in a more appropriate manner. I had actually gone into a full melt down by the time I had been seen by the dr, I was like a living zombie, it was a horrible time. I had my prescription up'd to 60 on a gradual scale and by that point, I felt fully functional (although, these tablets make you feel pretty crappy when you start off on them or have the amount put up/down or stopped). After 5 months, I felt that I did not need them anymore and the dr took me off Citalopram, bad 2 weeks though, felt sick, dizzy and headaches but as they cleared my system, I felt somewhat human again. I don't see this as a weakness, we've all be pushed to breaking point at sometime or another, gaining help helps you x

Glad you have a diagnosis! Don't be afraid to 'speak up' with the specialists invovled. Especially if you feel something is not working, stick to your guns x

I thought this might be of interest to the forum, it's a pull out from the independant from the other day (PDF version); http://projects.mediaplanet.com/uk/epilepsy_5_7369/autism_small.pdf

Just a thought, would it be possible to talk to a manager of a near by residential school or sheltered housing association for disabilities etc? Just to get a picture of what/how they would deal with a situation? Might be worth a try, see if they can give any friendly advice?

you're not a bad mummy xxhugsxx By the sounds of it, she handled the police situation rather well, be proud of her for that xx

During my son's session with his SEN tutor at home, today, he decided that now was the time to have a bad mood and combine his head banging into it! So I put my hand, palm down on the table and im the way of his forehead (which btw hurts!). Anything and everything he could have thrown at my, within those 2hrs, was lobbed my way In a way, I am very glad that his SEN tutor is witnessing this. Being the only person to spend 24/7 with my son, I am always subjected to his moods, whether they be good or bad. Yesterday, I attended a local coffee morning for mothers with ASD kids, it's nice to be able to get the chance to attend a session like this but I am always iffy about 'speaking up'. Alot of the mums don't experiencing any form of violence/aggression with their ASD kids and I have seen first hand, mothers congrgate and accuse another mother of it 'being her fault her child is aggressive'. When, the matter of fact is, that this aggressive streak is a frustration outlet fullstop and with a lot of ASD kids/people on the scale who experience these outburst, it can not be avoided. As parents, we can only hope to be able to soften the blow, when it hits. I was halfway through my last year of BSc in Psychology, when my son was diagnosed, so it was an extremely tough time all round. I was very close to deferring that whole year but managed to plough on with a fabulous outcome. I wanted (still do) to become a social worker for disadvantaged children and was lucky enough to get a summer placement in my local SS's but due to a current pregnancy, I decided it was best to hold off until my current son was in full time education, before I took on a demanding role. I spent a long time thinking 'what have i done wrong as a mother' but in real life, I had done nothing wrong at all. I just wanted to pass this littel rambling on to other parents. Our support network, if not with professionals but with eachother is greatly appreciated and I am glad I have found a forum such as this x

Hi and welcome to the forum x

How can it be the next 'big thing', no offense but it's been on the books for a good 15-20 years. OCD was unrecognised for an extremely long length of time, yet it effected a majority of people. It would be worth checking out options, if anything, they can be ruled out. Is there any hope for him to redirect his frustrations, other than taking it out on people? For instance, giving him his 'own area', maybe a section of a garden, with a boxing bag or one of those swing tennis ball games? I find it's all about a redirection or for those more psychologically inclined, 'transfering'. I did a stint last summer with my local social services for 6 weeks, brilliant insight! There was this teenage boy, he didn't have ADHD or alike but he was mentally and physically abused from the age of 6yrs old to 11yrs old and his temper would fly off the hook without any warnings. His mum was indispair over it, seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. BUT after chatting with him (me that is), I thought about 'what if he had is own space' and talked to his social worker. 2 weeks later, he had a punch bag in their shed and his temper was transfered. He no longer was beating those close to him, when he felt like he was going to explode, he went out into the shed for an hr or so. I saw him the other month down a local gym, he's joined their boxing classes and has had a lot of potential recognised in him, for a future in training. It may not help but if you could brainstorm some ideas, you might find a gem that could possibly work xx

You really do need an Educational Psychologist to step in, not the school or SEN, cus lets face it, they've not been seen to do any favours as of yet. I can rant and rave about lack of help but tbh Wokingham Borough council (where I am) are fabulous and compared to what I have read about other boroughs, seem to be on the ball. Now, i will say this and most probably get told 'they will refuse to get invovled' but the LDT team should be helping out (violence and this type of behaviour does come under a learning difficulty). That's where a behavioural nurse would be requested to step in and book your in for a home visit. You may well have to keep going at them for this though. I am aware that a lot of parents on this forum deal with the CAMH, this is not something I have experience with, as the chain falls from the Hospital down to the individual professionals but they will all communicate with eachother. I have spoken to the lass who is assigned to my son from our LDT team, I asked as he gets older, if his violence increases and becomes much more of a danger, who deals with it and she has informed me that they will organise or give support by supplying me with the relevant details of the person/department, if they are unable to help. I asked her if this was a likely case all over the UK and she assured me it should well be but a lot of boroughs like to 'pass the buck', so it seems. There is a difference between his violent behaviour from his condition to what is classed as learnt. I would assume that you, as his parent would know this? I am only asking, as it can be a step towards helping you to dealing with this issue. Can I ask, has he been classed as having PDA (pathological demand avoidance syndrome)? (still comes under the ASD spectrum) If not but either way, I would try and get an appointment with the relevant hospital department ASAP, for further assistance. Avoid direct confrontation, as much as you can, it's safe to say you won't win, esp with his size. Try to remove as much distractions in the home as possible i.e. radio and tv not being on at the same time, if there is a lot of outside noise, keep all windows/doors closed, basically, reaching the needs of his sensory issues if that makes sense? But he defo needs medical envolvement that is a lot higher than his school and SEN. good luck and I hope this wasn't too much of a ramble xx

you can't wack him back, violence never solves violence. Does he have a behavioural nurse, who keeps in regular contact or visits your son? If not, could you ask your local social services for one to come and access your son. It defo needs to be looked into. By the off chance, do you 'control' (i use this term losely), what he watches on TV? Just wondering if he's picked any of the 'movements' up from there?

hugs xx Do you have homestart involved at all? If not, might be worth contacting them, gives you a couple of hours respite in the home each week and someone to talk too; My link I left my son's father, when he was 3 months old, too much abuse going on and I refused to bring a child up in that environment. It was very hard, esp when I went through the troubles and issues with my son. Being diagnosed was a relief and I hope your son is able to get his diagnosis asap xx

He's currently using his bed as a trampoline, sometimes i wonder if he'd fall right through that ceiling

Problem you'll hit with something like this, is that the spectrum is vastly different from one end to the other. So an MRI won't 'determine' wat we want to know. So far, the only real way to determine is by a behavioral assessment. It's like that US 'breakthrough' with the mice, a human brain is way more complex, so in theory, if they were to develope a link with a drug (that would have to be taken for a full lifetime, if we're honest), it won't be anything that would take effect for a good 20 odd years.

yeah, my son does the tiptoe walk, all the time!