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AspieMe

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Everything posted by AspieMe

  1. Not for CRB's (and enhanced security checks for that matter). They are exempt from the rehabilitation of criminals act. I had a police caution at 13 (I know this isn't the same as a "serious crime"), and despite the fact it is unlikely to turn up, I'd rather put it on the form and have an embarrassing 2 min conversation about something silly I did over 20 years ago than have a conversation with my manager about why I am being given 5 minutes to clear my desk and being escorted off the premises. We all do silly things when we are young and quite often it is enough to say we were children and have grown up a lot since then.
  2. so, as it's 3 years old, I'm intrigued to find out what your daughter decided to do. Did she take the time out? Did she go down OT route or did she do the Japanese? I'm dying to know!!!
  3. It has long been a bone of contention with many that a mickey mouse degree is valued as highly as a law/medicine/science degree. I never had time in my course to party as I was too busy completing assignments and lab reports, whilst the media students were having a ball with their 2 hours a week attendance! In my opinion degrees should be scrapped unless there is shown to be a genuine need for those degrees in industry. Thats exactly what I thought, after being told for far too many years that we have a shortage of scientists in this country. Upon completing my degree, I had to relocate from the North to the South of england as there appears to be nothing but call centres in Yorkshire and all the science jobs are in the South or at the Universities As well as anyone who genuinely wants to earn their own way in the world, the Polish/Czech/Romanian/Hungarian workers who have a well deserved reputation as being hard workers who are willing to work their fingers to the bone for peanuts (a work ethic that, sadly, too many in this country have forgotten).
  4. I'm sorry, but I really feel I have to disagree. University is most definitely job related and about gaining the skills necessary for your chosen career. I didn't study for 4 years doing a physics degree to improve my maturity and make me a more rounded individual nor did I ever expect that. Anyway, back to the original post, I think what she's arguing about is spot on. Why should companies be able to take people on for a probationary period and not pay then an honest days pay? What poundland are doing is effectively slave labour. I've seen companies do this for years and get away with it, any decent employer would employ you on a fixed term contract (even as short as 2 weeks! so you could still get your JSA once it was over) and pay you the minimum wage during this period.
  5. I'm not too bad with visitors at the door, we have an initiative where cold callers aren't allowed in the area, they still try it on though (under the guise of charity, etc.) so most callers are either delivering something or friends and family who I actually want to see. What I really panic about though is the phone. Seeing as most calls are usually for my partner I don't even pick it up if she's in the house and I don't recognise the number. I've always felt this way, but just have to grit my teeth and answer it, at least knowing its part of AS helps me to come to terms with my behaviour. What I really can't do is write cards. I don't know why, but I just can't bring myself to fill out a birthday card, my partner thinks I'm weird and if she really wants me to fill out a card she has to dictate it to me (which bizarrely I am happy to do). Christmas used to be hell for me until I saw someone else use the tactic of giving money to a charity instead and just emailing everyone and telling them thats why they weren't getting a card this year. Its what I've started doing and in my mind far better as I'd much rather a deserving cause get my £10-£15 rather than the supermarket.
  6. I'm not sure if this is an ASD thing. A visit to the Railway Museum in York any day of the week will illustrate that point. I think Thomas is just a small child thing (and in some cases a Dad thing as well) for all the different reasons illustrated. I personally enjoyed doing all the Thomas stuff but aren't upset to have moved on, I do miss the steam train rides though. What's odd with my son, is when they started animating the faces my Son instantly lost interest. I must say, the old non-CGI series were much better IMO. We were gutted as we had hundreds of £'s worth of Thomas toys.
  7. I think the bit about the money suggests to me that you are poor with money. Many NTs don't need to plan to this level of detail to manage their money, I'm just as obsessive and when I don't plan I will lose control of my finances very quickly. Ask yourself what would happen if you didn't obsessively manage your money, would you get along just fine or would you wind up regularly overspending. I felt many of the feelings you have right now after my diagnosis, but after reading in detail about Asperger's Syndrome it dawned on me that I'm actually a lot worse than I think I am and I now see why there was no real question about the doctor's decision. I found it helps to be critical of yourself when looking at the diagnosis, you may not be aware at just how hard you work at things until you break them down. The bit about socialising and small talk, yes, many of us can do it, but it takes a lot of effort to keep it up, perhaps this is why on many occasions you "can't be bothered".
  8. Thanks for that. Some interesting food for thought.
  9. AspieMe

    Confused

    I think sometimes it can be like an echo chamber on this forum. I for one have been busy for the last few weeks, but to be honest there wasn't really much I could say so (keeping to type) I just chose to stay quiet. You'll find if you post a specific question you'll get lots of replies and various opinions so feel free to ask if there is something you are unsure of. From reading your posts, you are obviously a very bright person who appears to function quite well. I was surprised by my own recent realisation of my own diagnosis, but looking back on life it answers a lot of questions about the difficulties I have experienced in life. Even though I don't consider myself to be dramatically affected, it is when life gets complicated that I now realise that often it is ASD that holds me back. Personally I started reading all I could on AS. There is lots of literature out there, personally I found Tony Attwood's book a great help as it spelt out exactly what AS is and how it manifests. It helped me to realise just how many aspects of my life are affected by this. Next on my list are some of the biographies that are out there, of which there are may (there's a post on here somewhere listing bio's out there). In addition, have you tried the NAS? (www.autism.org.uk) there's lots of information there that may help. Good luck in your search for information, and feel free to ask questions.
  10. I think we all go through these patches in life to one degree or another, I feel that currently my own work life is like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I just have to keep telling myself that my problems will get resolved one way or another and I will come out the other side of it stronger and wiser. Personally, I try to focus on the good things that I have in all aspects of my life (family, friends, health, etc.) and I'm looking to build on what strengths I do have at work as these are the things that count to me, not the small petty day to day issues that seem to constantly dog my life at the moment. I hope you resolve whatever is troubling you and wish you well.
  11. This may be totally unrelated, but I have had tremors for a few years, progressively getting worse, last year I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid (tremors are a symptom). Since receiving treatment (propranolol and carbimazole) these tremors have completely disappeared. Apparently thyroid disfunction can go unnoticed for years in many people, the only reason I found out was due to going to my GP with stress and anxiety (how many would put this down to the AS?) and having a blood test as a result which screened for thyroid function.
  12. Considering I feel that I manage fairly well, should I make a claim for DLA? I read lots of places that people say you should claim, but just how bad do you have to be before you can seriously consider yourself eligible? Looking over the supplementary info document from the NAS I only do a few of the things Forgetting to turn the oven off don't shave often enough (maybe once or twice a week, but nobody ever reminds me, but I get the feeling this is because they don't really care whether or not I shave) definitely many of the talking and listening stuff I avoid people (if I can help it) find it hard to start and maintain conversations don't know what to talk about I forget things such as sets of instructions (unless I write them down) [*]lots of unopened post, but usually bills (which are all paid by DD so I technically don't need to open them) Is this enough to make a serious claim? every time I talk to my partner about it she just laughs and thinks I'm being daft (she works in elderly mental health, so her experience of DLA is people who are very badly incapacitated due to dementia and need 24/7 care). I would be claiming for myself, not a dependant and TBH I feel that I've managed alright so far, but obviously if I have a right to something I would like to have it. I'm 37 and only just recently received my diagnosis, if I've managed all this time (albeit with issues along the way) do I need help? and TBH I don't feel I need to pay for someone to care for me, but maybe would benefit from being able to work less by having the extra cash.
  13. AspieMe

    Hi

    So you are saying the NHS consultant who you were referred to by your NHS GP wanted you to give him £160 to put his name to a piece of paper? The whole point of the NHS is "free" health care for all. Talk to your GP about the fact they wanted money off you as it sounds like you were being taken advantage of (unless you specifically discussed with your GP being seen as a private patient). I got mine for free, if the consultant had discussed any fees I would have considered reporting him to whoever the relevant authorities are. When the consultant finished my assessment he asked if I wanted a copy of the GP's letter sending home. I said yes and have that as my proof. Not only is it enough, it also gives lots of information about my diagnosis and what rights and recommendations he had. TBH I prefer to be certain, I am much happier at the prospect that if I need to rely on an official diagnosis (tribunals, etc.) then it's one hoop that I don't need to jump through and with it comes certain rights and expectations which are enshrined in law by various acts (providing that you notify your employers, etc). I know that even with the law, people still experience discrimination (I'm not that naive) but at least you have somewhere to go if you ever find yourself suffering as a result of your Aspergers.
  14. I can tell you that parents in my school have had problems with non-white teachers in the past (including myself, being half-Chinese). If I were to tell them I had Aspergers as well as being a foreigner (I was born in the UK btw) I would think many might just explode trying to comprehend it. There are many bigots out there, many of whom have children upon which they impress their bigoted views and opinions. No amount of education is going to get rid of this since we only see the kids for a few hours a week, whereas their parents have them two-thirds of their lives to feed them their hatred and intolerance. (I'll put my soap box away now)
  15. I think it's normal to doubt yourself. I've only recently been diagnosed and although I was certain enough to go to my GP and get a referral, a couple of weeks before my appointment I felt the same and began questioning whether I have Aspergers. Even after my diagnosis I had a bit of doubt until I started reading up on Aspergers at which point I became conviced that I definitely do have Asperger's Syndrome. I wouldn't worry if you dont have all the symptoms, i consider myself to be fairly good at eye contact, but in most formal/work situations I tend to look over people's shoulders rather than at them, it is still uncomfortable for me, but has never been picked up by anyone other than the psychologist who noticed it straight away. Good luck with your appointment, from my own point of view it has been a bit of a roller coaster ride, but in the end I feel better for it. I hope that whatever the outcome that you are happy with the results.
  16. The advice I read was to go armed. I went through the list of Aspergers traits listed on the various websites and thought of examples from my life for evey one. I then wrote them all down and took this along to the GP. This was literally a list of bullet points with my take on it and a general bit about where these apply to me. After going through the exhaustive list of traits and examples the GP was pretty much on my side and agreed it was most likely. Remember, the more evidence you have to support your opinion the better.
  17. I know there's no end of posts regarding teaching pupils with aspergers but I am really struggling to find any actual teachers with Aspergers. It would be really useful to get views from other teachers who have Aspergers as I have recently been diagnosed and would like their viewpoints on how their diagnosis affects their role in school and how the news of their condition has been taken by other staff in their dept and SLT. I've looked on the TES forums and the only feedback seems to be from normal people who have Aspie workmates and their opinions of how they suffer.
  18. Hi simon, Just like you I'm 37 and have spent my whole life just feeling "different". I never really thought anything about it though until earlier this year. I guess when something has always been a certain way (ie me!) I just accepted that this was the way the world was. The only clues to my recent diagnosis was when we did a few training sessions at work about aspergers. When they described a person with aspergers as an introduction I felt like they were describing me, this is what got me thinking and eventually led me to my GP to get a diagnosis. It's early days yet (only been 2 weeks since my official diagnosis) and at the moment I'm still trying to process what it all means and the implications for the future. I am a teacher and at the moment in summer holidays, the real interesting bit starts when school starts in September and I face the whole dilemma of disclosure in the workplace. Of course there's also been a lot of analysing events throughout my life and its amazing how many of the events in my life can be put down to asperger's. At last now I know what the reasons were and looking forward can look at developing strategies I can use to help "keep me out of trouble" in future. As for coping, from the psychologists point of view I have just managed like many in our situation and just bumbled-along, got-by and as I said earlier, just accepted my shortcomings as just being me. I think very early on in life I adopted the attitude of if you don't like me then that's fine. I have always been a bit of a loner and I guess lucky in that at times had a great group of friends who were happy to accept me for who I was. I have been reading Tony Atwood's book "the complete guide to Aspergers Syndrome" and have found it very insightful, it's too early to say how useful it is, but most reviews I see are positive. What has been revealing is when going through the stage of doubting I have Aspergers or thinking I don't have it that bad, almost every page so far describes some aspect of my personality and has reinforced the diagnosis. I wish you good luck with the referral, it can take some time to come through as the adult services are few and far between from what I can tell. I wasn't sure what to expect, but mine took the form of a 2 hour interview, at the end of which the psychologist told me, he knew within the first 10 mins that I had Aspergers, and that he just spent the remainder of the 2 hours making sure he wasn't mistaken.
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