robert7111a

Well it seems I am writing the next post so will not contradict you A-S warrior. But I'm afraid I cannot speak for the next poster he he ...

I felt a sense of relief after realising I had AS. Maybe not "severe" but I exhibit several hallmarks of the condition. It was like I found the lost piece of a large jigsaw after many years. That last piece finally made me "see" and understand the whole picture. I am now so happy and feel more confident in the sense that I am able to better identify children in my clinic who might have AS and relate to them more appropriately. I like to think the parents of these children (many of whom I've seen many times) feel reassaured that at least somebody "understands". Welcome to the club!

Go with your gut instincts with regard to what's best for your child. Research and get balanced views before trusting the professionals. There are good and bad ones out there. Do not rush into things just because somebody says "this is right for your child". You know your child better than anybody else

I suppose it depends on whether you have the "ability" and to deal with your difficulties and how determined you are to accept and combat these difficulties. I accept that for some, dealing with AS is extremely difficult whilst for others, difficulties might be less severe and easier to cope with. Depends whether the man who assessed you was really interested in your issues or just wanted to fob you off to make you feel better

Hi Beth Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Sounds like he's a complete bigot. Are you scared to let go? Fortunately not all of us men are pigs, many of us do have feelings - this guy clearly does not. Get rid and make a new life for yourself.

Thanks Tanya, I'll look it up x

ok thanks

Thank you darkshine

Depends who you work with and what line of work you're in. I get on well with most of my work colleagues but wouldn't really want to see all of them socially out of work. What would happen if you had a bust-up in a pub or somewhere knowing you have to work with that person the following day? I don't have any friends out of work but given the choice would prefer to keep work friends and non-work friends separate.

Wow, the blue touch paper is well and truly ablaze... Unfortunately I cannot see how AS can be a gift. But I'm also of the opinion that people with AS don't have to see it as a disability. Unfortunately most people who know nothing about AS are very negative towards such people simply because they don't understand (or wish to understand). A-S warrier, I applaud you taking the stance and encouraging us to empower our "gift" and do something about it. But for many, it's really not that simple. As has been pointed out, it's really dehabilitating and embarrassing for some people. Fortunately I have managed to "self-help" by reading books on the subject, books on body language etc but there is really no tutor to teach social skills for people my age. I have thought about a life coach but it would need to be someone with AS and there are none to my knowledge in London (but I'm happy to be corrected!). For many, the requisite skills that NT people take for granted need to be taught. Perhaps this is the way forward? Having the requisite social skills would instill a lot of confidence. But if this was possible for me, I wouldn't "change". I would still want to be the same person and do what I do. But others have heavier crosses to bear and must decide for themselves what to do Yes I agree meeting with like-minded AS people might help but we are all individuals and there might be some people who would prefer to communicate through a forum instead (like this one). Some AS people really like solice. One simply cannot generalise. People need to look at themselves individually and take what steps they find comfortable in order to help themselves. Lets face it, nobody is going to do this for them. Obsessiveness and attention to detail is often a plus - especially in the workplace as employers see you are meticulus and careful in your work. But as somebody else pointed out, having OCD doesn't mean that person has AS. And this is an AS forum. I feel generally very confident in my work and don't let my AS get in the way. I have the confidence to know what I'm talking about to my patients (well I should do by now after 20 years...!). To me, this is a plus. Anyway I'm in danger of rambling on here so I'll stop now

Hi everyone, Thanks for replies, I have been warmed and touched by them all. Tanya, what is Aconite and what exactly does it do? Does it really work or are you just dependent on it and feel pacified when you take it? Darkshine, the delegates were about 10 - 15 years younger than me, a different generation, all had masters degrees in the same subject and mostly girls who were able to give smalltalk naturally. The few men that were there were quiet. I don't have the social skills to start conversations and felt fearful about butting in because if they were interested in me, I would have been invited to join the social group Yes I denfinately went into panic mode and something I did not mention was that I got chest pain as well (which somebody here reminded me). But it was out of the question to leave the room. That (IMO) would have really drawn attention to me. And letting the lecturer know I have AS was not an option as there were many lecturers throughout the day and I didn't want to draw attention to myself by going up to them at the start and telling them I have AS. This also didn't seem appropriate either - i.e. either time or place. I was on another course last week with people more my age and level. Again, most were girls. But I felt very different this time after the experiences of the last one and I didn't feel out of my depth. This time I managed to contribute. I have to confess, much of my survival was down to your helpful advice. But we weren't in small groups this time. Individuals asked questions and the lecturer just threw out questions for anyone to answer. I didn't feel I was around "superintelligent" people unlike the last lot who all had masters degrees. These people were more on my wavelength. So once again, thanks to everyone...

Hi Moby75 Well my daughter finds it difficult to give/receive kisses or hugs to/from anyone yet I love to/give kisses and hugs but find sometimes I do it inappropriately to others. I'm sure you're a good mum and you have to believe that. You can only do the best for your children, give them direction and unconditional love. Do you have a supportive husband/partner?

A-S Warrier. Awesome photographer...?! Thanks but where did you hear that?

Hi Aeolienne I certainly don't have supreme intelligence either. In fact I have very poor reading comprehension Until I was 33, I suffered acute loneliness and thought I would remain a batchelor forever. So chin up girl - never give up hope

Hello Bryce I have bad news I'm afraid. Although I totally understand your point, the neurones in your brain cannot regenerate or change so there isn't a "cure" coming anytime soon. I only found out I had AS after many, many years which has completed the lifelong unsolved mystery of my life. To this end, I have decided to embrace the condition and use it to my advantage (such as in my clinical practice). Had it not been for meeting my wife (who has brought me positivity in my life), I would probably have been dead as I tried to commit parasuicide twice years ago due to clinical depression (loss of a girlfriend mainly) and acute loneliness. Had I'd known I had AS then, I may have perceived things differently

Hi and welcome. I'm fairly new to this forum too and already finding it extremely helpful

Hi Moby Yes I am a parent with AS but don't know how you would define "difficult" in this context. I don't have all the traits of AS but do have some of the most classic ones. Years of acute loneliness meant I thought I would never find a wife and settle down - clearly somebody loves me! I recently told my daughter that I have AS and I think she has some of the same difficulties that I have. She is more of a "mummy's girl" than a "daddy's girl" but then I suppose I'm not at home much due to working all hours

Can you not work - even voluntarily or take up a cheap hobby?

The right side of the brain is your creative/imaginative side but having AS has nothing to do with what side of the brain malfunctions. I'm not a neurologist. But yes epilepsy can happen with any form of brain abnormality. Anyway I think we're risking going off-topic here

I suppose I get the "book bug" from my Dad. Reading is his hobby (fiction) and you ask him anything about classic authors and their books (i.e. Hardy, Dickens, Woolf, Dostoevsy etc...etc) he will smile and tell you everything you need to know. My mother is the same (she was an English teacher for 25 years). You wouldn't think with such literate parents, I would have poor reading comprehension for fiction. It just doesn't mean anything to me, yet non fiction does.

Clearly I have misunderstood the term meltdown, but as Chris54 points out, it has different meanings to different people. Certainly if one is put into a situation out of their comfort zone, they are going to react in some form or other.

Ahh...the slammers...brings back fond memories...)

Well I'm a sad git. I used to love trains a lot and have a hoard of models relating to my "spotting days" era. My wife understands these will go when I die (which hopefully, is years away yet...) I also hoard books relating to my many and diverse interests and work. These are "me". Many of my models/books were very expensiveto buy (especially textbooks) which I keep for reference and therefore I am not going to get rid of them lightly. I am very possessive and don't lend out books because I worry about what state they might come back in. Nearly all my books are in mint condition and I am obsessive in keeping them that way.

Just look at Tally's gorgeous picture and say "Meow"! Then get over it. You know you can do it.

Hi Trekster I'm definately a hoarder. I buy books, model trains etc and my late mother-in-law scolded me for having too much stuff. I guess my love of possessions took place as a result of having no friends and social life. Perhaps this is a form of OCD (?) - i.e I convince myself that I "need" something in order to buy it instead of just wanting it. My wife teases me as I literally have two of everything (if not more)