KATHY BLAIR

We have had this problem too - I put a request in now in writing explaining the importance of knowing. This year I wrote to them after Easter - just to give them enough time. They told us about 3 weeks before the end of term, but still we didn't meet the teacher until 3 days before the end of term - it's goingto be a male teacher - still she will have her classroom assistant. I make a "pen picture" for her -with her photo on and loads of up to date information about her - it is kept in a file in the classroom along with her statement. Our statement is very lengthy and detailed at our request - so there is loads of information. If anyone ever wants to see the pen picture pm me and I will forward you a copy.

Thanks marshmallow

Rachael has 1 to 1 a lot of the time at lunchtime - she is 7. We didn't get this allocated specifically in her statement, as I believe this is hard to get, but the head master agreed to push for thehours so that her classroom assistant could do it. Rachael was very unhappy at lunchtime in theplayground - she couldn't stand the noise, couldn't find anyone in the crowd and didn't know how to join in the play. By the end of her second year in school I was having to bring her home at lunchtime and then take her back after because the school couldn't provide supervision to allow her not to go to the playground. Her occupational therapy report also stated that she was at danger of taking risks in play and this gave us leverage from a health and safety point of view. At the beginnig of last year then, she had the option of not going out at lunchtime at all or else having 1 to 1 in the playground. She knew she had the option of not going out if she wanted, but she never took that option. She also knew exactly who to go to when she was in the playground. She knew she was there to help her, but she supervised from a distance and only interevened when necessary. By the time she finished school at the end of June she only had the help if she really needed it, but it can be put in or left out. It really has benefited Rachael she is so much more confident and has developed one really good friend. I think it really does depend however on the classroom assistant and how good they are also.

We don't get a lot of help from family or friends either - I find that only other parents with ASD children know what it's like. We still get - they play you up; you have them spoilt;I wouldn't let her do that and all the rest. Mum took my 2 out after school for an ice cream as we had to go meet next years teacher (at our request may I add). She had them for an hour and said it was terrible ( well AS daughter was terrible). They don't normally see her on school days as we usually have to come straight home and "chill". I said mum that is what it is like evryday for me. My 4 year old just constantly reacts to Rachael's sometimes unreasonable behaviour - everyone thinks she is naughty, but she is constantly under pressure by Rachael. Today we had to go for new carpet (school is already finished here in N.I.). my husbahd is off this week (but that quite ofetn adds to the problems). We were trying to pick carpet, while she was tearing full speed around the carpet shop - trying to climb on rolls, wanting her shoes and socks off to feel the carpet and so on. I had to go to one more shop when we came out - and she totally freaked out Right now I feel like crying my eyes out - what will my mother say "they get away wtih too much"

Try not to worry too much - the number of times Rachael has been ill and I did ot know! Last year she scarlet fever - she vomited in school and was sent home, it was only when the infection in her throat smelt so bad that I realised she also had a sore throat and she still wasn't complaining of pain!! Anyway sometimes when infections become chronic, like your sons ear, children no longer experience pain - and they don't have sid. I have become very quick now at picking up the signs that something is wrong. Our practicenurse is very good and knows Rachael well and will always see her just in case. This year she has had 3 chest infections diagnosed like this. It may not be that he is not feeling the pain - but sometimes they don't know what is normal and what is not and therefore don't report it.

I think in every situation you have to pick your arguments and decide what is the most important objective of what you are trying to achieve in forcing an issue. The most important thing to me here, is that the respite worker is there to relieve the pressure from you and his primary roleis to relieve that pressure. Today he added to it. I am not sure why it was so important that he insisted your son carried the items. What was he trying to teach your son by insisting that he did this. Could he not have compromised, by each carrying an extra item? Perhaps you should talk this over with your son and respite worker. Do you know what the respite worker is going to be doing with your son before each time he comes? Perhaps it would be a good idea to plan in advance what is going to happen. Agree with everyone what is going to be taken, who is going to look after it, where they are going, what they will be doing while they are, how long it will last and how he needs to behave when he is there ............and so on. Give the respite worker information about your sons condition and how you manage the behaviours successfully. Tel him how you expect things to be managed and if there are problems about an aspect of behaviour get him to tell you about it away from your son, so that you can figure out how to address it without your son becoming negative. What age is your son? Perhaps he and the respite worker could keep a journal ot the timethy spend together where they write down the things they enjoyed and positive behaviourscan be noted to try and make the relationship more positive. I take it the respite worker is not employed ina behaviour management capacity - solely for respite? It is not necessarily their role to modify behaviours, and while they can expect reasonable behaviour, I think they should be taking their guidance from you.

Mum22boys, I have posted earlier but what you are writing about your son could have been my younger daughter at that age, and with her it was not omly me who could see it. It could be his age, it could be autism - the only definite way to tell is to have someone see him. What I do know is, having recently attended a self esteem course, that these ritualistic and repetitve behaviours can also be as a result of anxiety. I am not saying that he is anxious, but I think we underestimate how difficult living with a sibling with an ASD can be. Especially for younger children in a family - as you cannot explain their siblings behaviours yet. They don't have the same role model that children of a similar position in another family often have. I know that my little one has had to listen to loads of tantrums, be bossed aorund a lot - even down to being told what to say. I find myself having to monitor the situation closely and make allowances in her behaviour for the pressure she is sometimes put under by her sister with Aspergers. All of us have autistic traits - or at least I hope I am not the only mother who has them . You know even if he does have asd, he will still be your little boy and nothing will change that. I know it is very hard not to worry, but only time will tell. Try focusing hard on his positive behaviours - see where the balance lies. Could he be anxious, without even realising it? There are many reasons why children behave in certain ways and sometimes it is just because they do!

This class moves forward as a class - the class only changes is if someone leaves or someone new comes. Therefore there is little movement or chance to move up and down the grading system - the same children generally all get the same grades. It is the same as reading - they are grouped for reading and the groups more or less the same the whole way through school. This is how Rachael fell so badly behind in reading.strted out at the top of the hihgest reading group. Although she had all the individual components for reading at the level she was at, she couldn't read as quickly as the others in the group (Her interest level has always been way in excess of her ability level) - probably due to sensory distractors, confidence and so on; and also a change in routine, as theteacher let a student have the reading group. They moved her back because she was slowing the group down and then back again. She lost all motivation as she saw the books as baby books and completely lost interest. I always argued that if she was technically capable of reading in the highest group and that this was a more suitable interest level for her, she should have had assistance to stay in that group. Because she was not statemented at the time they could not do it and did not see the reasoning behind motivation, performance and interest. This was when she was only half way through her first year at school and it has only been in the past 6 months that her reading has begun to improve. She was stuck in a reading group that was assessed as being suitable and none of thechildren get to move out of this group. How fair a system is it, that even though a child has greatly improved, it will never be reflected in its grades as the system is not set up to let that happen! In fairness to the teacher, she is following the school protocol, and has to. She doesn't agree with itbut as thisis her first post prbably does not feel she can challenge it.

I have spoken to the teacher this morning quite casually about this. She said that in P3 she is only allowed to give the top 4 or 5 chikdren an A grade and the bottom 5 a C grade. This means that the majority get B - This is in prpearation for primary 4 (i am in N.Ireland and we have P1, 2,3,4,5,6,7 - I am not sure how that corresponds). She says she doesn't agree with this as this a huge array of ability within the average grade. She has reassured me that Rachael's maths is as I had thought - way above average, but there are a few other children who are also at this level and she fell just short of the grade in that category. Had she been able to she would have givenher an A grade! She got A grades in science which I know is really good and I would not have expeted them in English anyway. At least i feel reassured that the praise she has been getting is appropriate and she is not falling behind. I can also explain the grading system to her and she will know then that grades do not always depend on your performance but can beinfluenced by other factors. Not sure about the method of assessment - will mention this to the headmaster when i next meet with him. He just loves to see me coming, you know!!??!!

I just want to make it clear that we at no time have geared motivation towards achievement, this is part and parcel of her condition and something we have tried very hard to steer her away from. In saying that I don't want the teacher to think that "getting by" is enough for a child with asoergers, I haven't expressed myself very well. What I am tryin to say is that the teacher may think that Rachael, as a child with Aspergers is doing well, because she has aspergers! She may not be looking beyond the Aspergers - I want to be sure that she has not been praising and so on because that is all she expects from a statemented child, with Aspergers. Rachael's statement has never been because of any "learning difficulty", but because of the difficulties arising as a result of the impact of her Aspergers on her ability to learn. I should have said earlier that this is her teachers first post since qualifying and that it is her 3rd teacher this year. Whether a "B" is a good grade or not, it has fallen below the grades that she normally achieves. Once Rachael's motivation ahs gone, it is difficultto get it back on track. Lastyear she was achieving A grades, but the teacher was scoring her 2 for effort (effort is graded 1,2,3). This year she has scored 1 all roundfor effort but has achieved lower grades. I am just concerned that the teacher keeps telling her how fantastically she is doing, quote: "your number work was just amazing today" "your maths was excellent" "your number work was fantastic again!" "you are so great at mental maths!" "fantastic number work clever clogs!" This hasled us and Rachael to believe she is doing fantastically at maths - like she always has. Everyone has always commented on her mathematical ability. All I want is to have been getting realistic feed back throughout the year on her work - not being told how fantastic she is and then receivign a grade which in her school = average. If the teacher had looked back on previous performances, she would have noticed that her performance was down on last year. If tehre is a porblem we should know. This may seem like a huge fuss over nothing, but I know my daughter and the effect these things have on her. I don't even know if these grades are on test scores or general performance through out the year. She siad in the report her test scores were high! She also stold me she scored in the top ten in the class in maths and english ( there are29 in her class). It is not the grade she has received - it is the fact that perhaps ove zealous praise has been given to this little girl and now she feels really disappointed. I must reiterate that I have consistently praised her for her report and told her that ehr grades do not matter! I would be very foolish to do otherwise. However it does not stop me from being concerned! What I should add is that over praise which is unrealistic can be just as dangerous as not enough!

We don't pressure Rachael in anyway and are extremely relaxed about school and achievement! Though I suppose there is a balance and we are left wondering have we tipped it too much the other way! She expects to achieve - but is not motivated to do the work. Our take has always been to not press her to do extra work at home and we havebeen reassured all year that she is more than getting by without being put under pressure at home. I suppose that is why she and we are disappointed that her grades have dropped off. We do not want the teacher to think that getting by is enough because she has Asperger's or that she is doing well enough for a child with AS. In the long run that will lead to self esteem issues. For her to feel that she is not fulfilling her potenial has and will do harm - that is my concern. I feel that because of the mixed messages I havebeen receiving all year I don't know what is realistic, and i feel itis not fair that she has been told how super she is all year, but that is not reflected in the grade she has got. She has seen some of the children from her class today and asked them how they did. We do everything we can do take pressure off her and spend untold time on teliing about all the ways other than academically that sheis loved - she puts the pressure on herself and at 7 does not even understand that she does this, never mind how to not do it.

My oldest daughter Rachael- aged 7 has Aspergers and was diagnosed aged 4. When my little one was 3 I used to really worry about her - the playgroup had some concerns also. I spoke to Rachael's paed and she agreed that there were some unusual behaviours. She saw her for a Griffiths test and everything turned out okay. She said she could understand my concerns and it was impossible to know whether she had picked up some of the behaviours or whether she would have had them anyway. She was able though to show me areas where she was definitely not exhibitng signs of ASD - communicating and socialising. The concerns I had were mainly routines, accepting change and so on, which as part of normal development 3 year olds have problems with. She had sensory problems and to be honest still does - so do I! There are times too when I would still swear there was something even know I know there is not. The other day, at a friends house, she got some strawberries, she sniffed them and pointed to the one she wanted, but would not touch them and was talking in a very strange voice. I have to accept that this is the way she is - either because of her sister or not. She is 4 now. I know she has not got ASD - but she may have sensory processing difficulties. Time will tell! If you are worried get some help - either way you will know then.

This is the schools form af grading. I have to say that i don't reaaly agree with grading children in attainment at this age. I have read some canadian report cards and have found them to be much more informative. I have really rewarded her for her brilliant results! She responds to reward very well and she has put in so much effort this year - we took a special trip to ToysRUs to reenforce this! It has just left her feeling a little confused - I am meeting thisyear and next years teacher together on Wednesday and may discuss a different, less "attainment" based assessment for her in the furture, which is more individualised!

Rachael, because of her Aspergers, has the opinion, if she is not the best at everything she tries then she has failed. We have had huge problems with this in the past - mainly surrounding reading. It gets to the stage that if she cannot do it 100% she will not do it. The achievemnet is the motivation and reward for doing it - if she is not going to achieve 100%, there is no motivation. We have been to CAMHs and so on and this has been picked up in ed psych reports and so on. Anxiety levels around school are very high Because she sees the visual representation of the A,B,C thing, wherein A is perfection that is what she wants. She knows that she is as smart, if not smarter as the other kids, but finds it hard to accept that she does not perform as well. She has a significant discrepancy between her preformance and verbal IQ. We try to gear as much as we can to allowing experience success. It is hard as a parent to see a child of her age bieng so hard on herself - and it makes you react to every situation. I know we should try to get her accept that she cannot always be top, but at the same time the teacher has been telling her how fantastic she is all year and also in the report - but the grade, which she sees as the yardstick for her acheivement don't reflect this.

I have a seven year old daughter with Asperger Syndrome, who has been assessed as having high IQ. She has been lacknig in self confidence which has really improved this year. Part of the reason for this was because an achievement book was implemented in school to note her achievements. All year hae teacher has been commenting to her on how "exceelent" her numeracy skills are and this has always been an area where she has excelled. The class she is in is a very competitive class for such a young age and a big hype was gathering around the school reports. The children are graded for attainment, but I don't know whether this is best on tests or generally. In previous years she has always had As for maths and science and art. We got her report - the grades are A=above average; B=average;C=below average. The report was mostly Bs and I could see her little face drop - she got A in science only. She has always had A in maths and her teacher has been telling her allyear how super she is and she is so disappointed. To be honest, so am I, although not showing her this. I have spent the morning crying - in her comment the teacher wrote: "Rachael can recall number facts quite quickly within 20, and is excellent at answering number family questions verbally.I am really pleased with her progress in maths, she has a good understanding of all thetopics we have covered, and her test scores were high. Rachale is able to complete problem solving activites quite independnetly. She has a wonderfully logical thought process which is an asset to her!" But she awarded her B= average. All Rachael sees is the B -I have tried to reassure her by reading this to her and telling her how well she has done. But I know she is really disappointed. I am wondering if I should speak to the teacher, and tell her what has happened. She is young and inexperienced and I don't want to upset her, but I don't want Rachael's confidence to take a knock. I know I should be happy she is doing so well, but you know what these children are like and how hard they can be on themselves. We don't push her and have taken a laid back approach with school. But i feel so disappointed for her. To top it all, I know they are all going to be talking about what they got. The little boy up the street from us called me over and told me got 8 As and asked hpw Rachael did (they are in thes ame class). More than anything I am confused about her progress - they are telling me how wonderfully she has done and yet her grades are down on last year. What do I do?

Won't they all get a shock though when they realise it is probably just as prevalent in girls - but not being picked up in the same way! Animal genetics have shown that when you try to breed for certain traits, you don't actually eradicate the "problems" - you effectively introduce more. It is frightening when you think about it like that. My beautiful 7 yr old daughter has AS and of course I would rather she did not have it - but if I had the choice of having her as she is - bright, witty, loyal, determined - or having a different Rachael, I would choose the way she is. I feel priveleged to have come to understand this beautiful creature and the unusual way her mind works. Sure there are times I feel like running away, but there are times when she spontaneously does something she hasn't done before it's wonderful. Through all the struggling with diagnosis and school (she was diagnosed aged 4) - all i could ever see was the AS. These past few months for the first time, I am beginning to see her! Sure she is different - but she is an individual with rights - some time people lose sight of this don't they!

What age is your son? It can be such a struggle to get things sorted out iwth the school and sometimes it feels like itis endless. I suffered from post natal depression with both my girls. The youngest will be 5 in September. Rachael who is 7 has AS and was diagnosed when she was 4. I know its hard - because of the stress with your son, you never get time to get your head around your own feelings and you spend so much time worrying about other peoples, that you don't even know what you do feel! Take each day at a time and try to prioritise what you need to sort out (not easy when you feel like you can't even think straight! ). You are doing your best for your family and that is all you can do. The summer holidays are coming and that will give your son a much needed break from school. Give yourself some time as a family - time when you don't think about school at all. Go out and do loads of fun things, that make you laugh. Then when it is time to think about returning to school you will feel renewed (in theory anyway ). I know that my little girl picked up a lot on the tension between me and the school, even though I thought I was being discreet. Try and stay positive, you will get there in the end - because mothers always do

Having read through the thread through Lauren 's thread, I wanted to offer some thoughts of my own. I spent 18 months fighting with special education for my daughter's statement, and like you my sole motivation was to secure the help she needs now to enable her to achieve whatever she wants in the future. I listened to "so-called" professionals who had met her on isolated occasions, in a structured one to one environment telling me what she didn't need I knew my daughter and I was her best advocate. This time last year Rachael didn't want go to school, she would not stay in for lunch and if something unusual was happening (like a substitute teacher), she only attended part of the time. She believed she was stupid because she could not keep up in class in spite of an IQ>120.Special education would not even consider this in their provision because none of the professionals had felt it important enough to include in their evidence (note the sarcasm). I like you fought on and in the end secured what we felt was an appropriate level of assistance. I now have a daughter who remains anxious about school at times - but who mostly likes to go. She has made one good friend, her independence in school is increasing daily. She had real difficulties with reading and with help and support is now reading independently, she knows her strengths - maths and science and is starting to become really confident in her. T Now some may say that this fight took up 18 months of my life and continues to a certain degree. But to move away from how children with all asds are seen we must do this. My whole motivation was what would happen later in life. What better future could I have given her, than to empower her to become competent, cofident and independent at 7 years of age instead of worrying about what the future holds. We make the future for these children and the earlier we give them the skills to cope the better. there are days when you will feel that your time is wasted. When I look back even just a year I can tell you it was not. I believe that with all my heart

My daughter is 7 and has AS. She used to complain of pains in her knees a lot and has been seen by ot and physio and podiatry. She has very low muscle tone and her joints are hyperextensible (double jointed). What is often happening with her is that during activities such as jumping and bouncing, she is over stretching her joints and therefore causing pain. She is now being referred to a geneticist, as her muscle tone and hyperextensibility are deemed to be excessive even for a child with AS. They want to eliminate an underlying cause. Keep a record of when the pain happens - activities, time of day and so on. Your child needs to be referred to a gait assessment clinic.This needs to be looked at aside from his asd. He could have an underlying condition which is nothing to with autism. Were he presenting with painful knees and feet and did not have asd, they would probably send him to see someone. He could have shortening of the tendons at the back of his heel or something because of his gait. If he can tell you exactly where the pain is in his feet and legs, get him to - I know this can be hard - Rachael very often can't locate the pain exactly. Don't give up - your child has the right not to have painful feet and legs - especially if it is restricting his activity. If your paed won't refer you (and to be honest I don't think he can refuse to - walking in a straight line has nothing to do with pain) then take it further. Hopefully you won't have to do that!

I think you have every right to feel enraged. Your childs case is supposed to be taken on ots own merits and they are way put ofline making statements like this - especially in writing. So much for seeing a cild as an individual. I am only new to this forum. Would you mind if I ask what this letter was about?

We spent 2 years tip- toeing round the school, trying to be nice and not upset anyone, while we alone tried to sort out a statemnet for our daughter. When they got it they did not like it - it was too detailed and identified too many special needs, that they believed our daughter did not have to start with. They were then saying they could not cope with her needs - just because it said it on paper, when she had them all along They told us, despite the fact that we had remained poilte when we had every reason not to, that we had left all the staff who were involved with us feeling despondent; that nothing was ever good enough for us. But that was the whole point they were doing nothing - and it wasn't good enough for us You know I think they just didn't like the fact that parents are capable of achieving something for their kids. The head master made such a fuss that even the special education department told him to stop whingeing and get on with putting the things in place for Rachael that he should have done long ago! I have yet to find anyone who has not had to spend time fighting for things that should come by right to these children

I hope I have got this right - but your little girl has Aspergers? My little girl also has Aspergers she is seven now and was diagnosed when she was 4 (at the end of her preschool year). We were fairly certain that she had it though before she was diagnosed. If you take a look around the children in your daughter's nursery, you will find that many of the children in her age group are struggling to make friends. When Rachael was at this stage I would have had many of the same concerns as you have, but you may be surprised how things will change. Playing, for many children at this age is a self-centred activity and the true benefits of enjoying the play experience together haven't set in yet. School will be much different to nursery in many ways and you may be surprised how she makes the transition. Play will become a lot more structured in school and there will not be so much free time to have to think about what to play. They are actually in the playground for relatively short periods of time and some schools are very good at structuring this time also. She will "enjoy " the structure in school as this will be less stressful for her. Will she have a statement going into school? We did not have a statement at that stage, but Rachael's teacher initially limited the amount of time she spent unsupervised in the playground. Her classroom assistant now gives one to one supervision in a discrete way and is there to step in if there are any difficulties. We also gave her small toys which she could hold in her hand, or a little colouring book and pencils that she took into the playground. We found that this also had benefits because some of the other children would have taken an interest in what she had and this acted as a motivator for play. You may or may not agree with this, but if there was a "playground craze" like aliens or scoubies and so on we encouraged her interest in it as it gave her something in common with the other children. Talk to her loads about friends; read her books about what friends are and how you can share with them, how you play nicely with them and keep reenforcing them - showing her examples of whne she has done this. Have a child form nursery for a short structured play session, where you help them to choose what to play and how to play nicely. What you have got to remember is that her tolerance of playing one to one may be quite low at first - build it up. Recognise that there are times, maybe at lunchtime, where she needs some down time alone, and that is fine. Try not to show any anxiety around this to her (as I did and probably made things worse). We had terrible problems with Rachael initially, but a calm and positive attitude wil help resolve this. Until Christmas this year, Rachael did not want to stay in over lunch. She now has the option of not going out at lunchtime with her friends (which she never takes), she has supervision ina discrete way. She walks to the end of the street now with her friends after school to meet me - last year we wouldn't even have imagined this. There are still problems in understanding friendships and so on, as one of my posts shows. But on looking back to the nursery, with the right help and support she has come such a long, long way! Yes there is still a long way to go, but sometimes reflection helps you to see how far along the road you have come already. There is a firend out there for all of our children - she just hasn't found hers yet

I find it hard to say for certain whether Wakefields research was conclusive or not. I remember at the time of having Rachael's mmr thinking though, if she gets older and has autism I will never know for certain if the mmr has done it or not. The decision to vaccinate though was not in doubt, because to me the risks of these diseases was too great a chance to take. So here I am, and Rachael has autism. Do I think that or have anydoubts that MMR may have been the cause? Absolutely not. Despite my misgivings at the time and thinking that I may blame MMR if she had - I have never considered it at all. Rachael had autism long before she had MMR, I know that. I am more worried about the antenatal care I received when I was vomiting severely at 5 weeks pregnant, admitted to hospital from 7-15 weeks, continued to have vomiting throuhgout the pregnancy and no one considered the effect this was having on my baby! That she was allowed to go to 40 weeks + 14 days before delivering and that she was delivered by emergency caesarean after prolonged 1st stage labour. In my support group there is a mother whose baby was delivered in similar circumstances the day after Rachael in the same hospital (we remember each other from being on the same postnatal ward)and she too has autism, although much more severely than Rachael! I suppose what I am saying is that there are many,many potential causes for autism out there and no single cause has been identified. Is there something in our children that is being triggered by these external factors? I haveno doubt from the evidence I have heard, that some children may be affected by MMR. But would they have been affected if they had caught these actual viruses, would they have been affected to some degree anyway? There are still too many unknowns around autism - this condition is increasing in the child and adult population steadily, and it is time the whole outlook on autistic spectrum disorders changed - end of story!

My 7 year old daughter Rachael has Aspergers and is really keen to be friends with the other kids - but does not know how to do it very well (sound familiar to anyone). Well generally in school she manages not too badly - now!. She has supervision in the playground one to one so if any difficulties arise there is someone there to step in. The little girl next door has just turned 8 and is unbelievably cruel to Rachael at times. It's driving me to distraction. Rachael is very bright and knows from what she has learnt that Katie is not treating her right. Rachael would do anything to be with this child and yet she will tell her to go away, she will walk and leave her and tell her she can't come. Today after playing in our garden, having drinks and sweets and the usual - which she never gets at home. She announced that she was leaving and in a really nasty way said Rachael could not come with her - she said she might come back!Rachael decided to wait for her at the gate until she came- but I brought her back. I was really cross because the other childs parents and grandparents, who were sitting in their garden and must haveheard, didn't even intervene. Poor Rachael then got up on the trampoline watching over and they just ignored her. I had to bring her in and explain as best I could, after throwing a few choice comments rather loudly their way. The worst of it is their own son is on the waiting list to be assessed for autism - a fact that mum is in total denial about. No matter how many times I talk to Rachael about trying to stay away when she is being nasty, she goes back for more. I know Rachael can sometimes be a little overbearing. I had sort of dropped hints that maybe the mum could talk to the child about Rachael's condition - but I don't think she would have the sense or ability to do this. Sorry for the length of this rant - I am just so upset!

I don't know whether it is the same in England (assuming that is where you are) as in Northern Ireland(where I am), but I think the school would be better writing a letter in support of your request than putting in their own. This could confuse things - If they continue to proceed on the basis of the school's request for statutory assessment there is no right to appeal if they turn the school down - whereas there is if they turn you down. Also then you would have twait six months before you can reapply. Perhaps you could get the school to support you instead of submitting their own - it may end up messy otherwise! Rachael was also been a different community paediatrician, but her own paediatrician did make a submission also. Any health or education professionals he is involved with will be asked to make a submission. It is nightmare process -ours took 18 months from start to finish. Stick to yur guns though - at the outset we were told we would be unlikely to get a statement by our education psychologist as there were children more needy than Rachael. We got it in the end though - 15 hours classroom assisitant and the statement almost word for word as we wanted it!