chriss

Does he like football? I read a Luke Jackson book where he talks about football and how being a fan can help people with ASD bond with others. My son (8) is a Liverpool fan and even though he is incapable of sitting down long enough to watch more than 5 minutes of any match he gets a lot out of it. We live on Merseyside, so lots of his peers are LFC supporters and it gives him a sense of belonging, and as he gets older it will give him a topic of conversation with other men that, hopefully, won't bore them silly. As Luke says "when is an obsession not an obsession?" "when it's football!" By the way I always tell my son when Liverpool have won, so he can bask in reflective glory, but if I can get away without telling them they have lost I keep mum so he isn't downcast.

You can argue that anybody who commits murder has a personality disorder. I find this kind of case devastating and I doubt very much if the expert witnesses in this case have delved very far into the history of these offenders.

That is pure genius!

I got a shock when I read this thread as it put me in mind of my ex, who is my son's father. When we went to pubs or clubs he was forever going back to the bar saying his glass was dirty and there were some places he wouldn't set foot in as he said they were unhygenic. When I cooked for him he would examine the cutlery and crockery. I used to get very hurt by this. He has also offended my family and freinds by doing it in their homes too. He doesn't have a diagnosis and is unlikely to get one as he thinks there is nothing wrong with his behaviour. He also doesn't think there is anything wrong with our AS/OCD son ! The only thing I can suggest is cognitive behavioural therapy, i.e. trying to swap the negative thoughts he has with more positive ones. For example, explain how the dish washer works to get things super clean or by emphasising that eating healthily is more important than anything else in keeping himself well and it is very,very rare that anyone gets ill from cutlery. Is he learning some of this behaviour from anyone else? My ex has told our son not to touch handles in toilets with his bare hands as they are covered in germs. Sometimes there is no way round this so it has created major problems for us. I have told my son that daddy isn't always right about germs...

I found a piece online about identical twins. One was left-handed and the whirl of the hair on her crown went in one direction, her twin was right handed and the whirl went in the opposite direction. Wierd! Apparently, the way your hair falls on it's crown can be connected to whether you are left or right handed. Some times (but not always ) children with double crowns can be ambidextrous and the hair in each of their crowns goes in opposite directions. I also found an old wives tales page which says double crowns are said to be the sign of a traveller or prosperity or a long life. Amazing what you can find online isn't it?!

I definitely understand how "stoppage" works. For me having a baby that seemed to be awake 24/7 was a highly effective form of contraception!

I found the double-crown thing interesting. So I googled "double crown" hair neurological. And there is a link between double crowns and ASDs and ADHD!

You could try a gyropen. They are about 3 pounds in WHSmiths. I think they are the sloped pens mentioned above. My son is having some success with his mostly because you can see what you are actually putting on the page more clearly than you can with an ordinary pen or pencil.

Clare63 my son has a double crown and long thick eye lashes too!

He writes with his right hand but uses both hands for anything else including colouring. When we play games like tennis he swaps his racket from hand to hand and plays equally well (or should I say badly!) with either.

Thanks for your replies . I think it might be the case that if I got an IEP at my son's school it wouldn't really be worth the paper it is written on as they don't really recognise the problem. It might be worth contacting the Ed Psych if only to ask for suggestions of how I can help him deal with things by talking them through at home, and possibly to see if they can spur the school into helping him too.

Thanks for your reply Di. I know what you mean about break times. I think about him all the time whilst he as school and dread what he is going to say when he comes home. I can't work because to put him in after school or breakfast club would destroy him as he has enough to cope with as things are. I have got nowhere with the Ed Psych in the past. He spent 2 minutes observing him in class and said "are you sure he has Asperger's?". Luckily that fool has retired now so it might be worth seeing his replacement. But it is just like banging your head against a wall. The school doesn't want to admit he is having problems because then they would have to help him - at the moment it easier for them to turn a blind eye. Do you think the social skills bit on his IEP makes a difference?

Hi Suzie-Girl, Good to see you on here! I'm a single mum too and it can be so hard and so lonely. I have a 7 year old with As and I love him to bits.

Can I just ask parents of children in mainstream education if their children have IEP's which mention social skills? My son is struggling with this and despite being in a class of 37 he is very lonely. Can I ask them to give him an IEP which includes help with sociaisation and if so will it make any difference to anything? He is doing well academically but his self-esteem is disappearing fast. Has anyone got any ideas as to what I can suggest to the school to help him fit in better? At the moment I feel as if the fact that he has Asperger's is ignored.

:lol:

Mumble do they have "Nightline" or any other student counselling service at your Uni? I ask because when I was at Uni The Nightline was co-ordinated by my best friend and they didn't offer just counselling but a lot of practical help for students too. They were all really nice people and there is the advantage that you can speak to then over the phone and they will treat the matter confidentially. They may be able to help with this situation.

Hi Mumble Maybe you should just go back to your tutor and say you can't sort it out and can she help you? It is a part of her job after all to ensure that you are coping with University life. If she has read a few books she should at least understand how anxious things can make an Asperger's student even if she is poor at understanding you in person. Hope this matter is resolved for you soon.

Hi again Elly It is www.tourettefriends.org.uk I just had a look and searched for "hair" and quite a few things came up so I hope you find some useful info on there. From my understanding what he is doing is more compulsion than tic so it may be easier to change the behaviour (say to hair stroking rather than twiddling?) than it would be if it were a tic. Good Luck!

My son has Asperger's and he tics a lot too. A lot of "Aspies" do. Like you I wonder if he fits the criteria for a Tourettes diagnosis. He has OCD too and that is closely related to tics. My son has not had a tic that involves hair twiddling but he has had a wide range of other tics. They never last too long - a few months usually but they all, without exception, get worse if you tell him to stop doing it. There are some good Tourettes forums around if no-one on here can help you with the hair twiddling. Tourettesfriends is one but I am not sure of the site address. Some good books are "Passing For Normal" by Amy Wilensky and "Life Interrupted" by James McConnell. Both authors have had tics and compulsions throughout their lives and are good at explaining why they had to obey the compulsion to tic. Like your son they really couldn't help it! It must be really upsetting for you to see him making his hair come out like this so I hope you find the help and advice you need.

Hi, Contact a family are great and they may have some ideas to help you. Also do you have an autism link nurse or Autism Inniatives in your area. Has your Health Visitor helped at all? If not get them to write letters to back up your claim. Most CABs are good so is it worth visiting one further afield or asking your local branch to refer you to a specialist rather than a volunteer. My son is the perfect pupil in school but it all comes out at home. I put this in his DLA form and they must have accepted it as we got middle rate care and low rate mobility. He has had reports from a Speech therapist and Occupational therapist which helps though. The more evidence you can get to back up your claim the better.

What is on the floor outside your room? If it's grass them in this weather it will get very dry soon and throwing lit cigs on it could be a fire risk? Is there a student council for the halls you are in? Perhaps there is someone on it you might be able to approach for help? Failing that mention it to the gardener or cleaners. Somebody has to pick those butts up so you won't be the only person annoyed by them. Good luck with it. I think if the person doing this had any real idea of how unpleasant it is for you they would stop. Unfortunately so many smokers feel victimised these days.

tickles

I know what you mean Lynda. The diagnosis was a very mixed blessing for me. On one hand it was devastating that he had a lifelong disability, but there was a small amount of comfort in the fact that he was the same child he always was and it wasn't down to my parenting skills. When I read that autistic children can have severe sleep problems I nearly cried because for all his life I had been sleep deprived and had been given some very bad advice about what I was doing wrong. Noone told me that sleep difficulties can be related to neurological problems - I was told it was my fault. And even though I knew this wasn't true it hammered my self-esteem. I have had the "he looks normal to me" comment from all sides too. Even from family who would know better if they actually offered to babysit or have him over night. But to be honest I am glad he looks normal. I'm glad that when he is behaving himself we can blend in and pretend we are "normal".

Hi BonnyScotland, Do you mind if I ask if your childrens medical problem makes any difference to Housing Benefit if you claim it? I am having problems in that my rent goes up �20 quid a month each year but my HB hardly changes. I can only afford to stay here because of my son's DLA (when we moved in before he was diagnosed it was a much lower rent). I know I should move but in my town all houses are expensive and it would have to be a flat but there is no way my son could cope without a garden to go wild in. Plus he gets upset if we get a new piece of furniture so he would be devastated if we moved. I am on the housing list but it is a choice based system in this area and all houses in this town go to people who qualify as homeless or vulnerable but AS doesn't count towards this. Before I had my son I was saving for my own house but now I can't even work at all so I feel as if I am destined for a life of high rent Have you got a social worker who can fight your corner with the medical points?

Baddad I thought that bean question was great!