chriss

Hi Dollie, Vallergans is an anti-histamine I think. It made my son sleepy but he did'nt always go to sleep. He would be tired but still lying awake. It is a bit like red wine. If you have too much but can sleep it off you will feel ok the next day but if you don't sleep enough you will feel rough the next day. We tried it over a few nights and once or twice it was successful and we got a good nights sleep (it has a longer effect than melatonin) but even then he wasn't really happy the next day. Other nights he still struggled to get to sleep despite feeling shattered and he was awful the next day. Like a bear with a sore head rampaging round the house. He looked rough too with black rings under his eyes and the only way to cope with him was to allow him to have an afternoon nap - which made everything worse for the next night. I would say never say never. If you get a prescription for it try just giving him a tiny bit at first - less than the stated dose to see what it's effects are as it might be the answer for you.

I tried vallergans for my son, who like yours is a 7 year old with aspergers, but I really wouldn't recommend it as it made him sleepy but left him "hungover" the next day.

I'm sure I have read somewhere before that Jackie was horrified at some peoples response to her after this documentary as she was seen as a "supermum" who made it look easy. She has said herself that her life is a lot harder than the impression given in this documentary

It is out in paperback in April, I think, at 6 or 7 pounds a copy.

makers

Are hormones an issue Hev?

Congratulations to you all! Jesse is a great name. He will be a great gift for Kai.

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time. What do the school suggest you do next?

His book is a really good book about Aspergers and autism quite aside from the savant thing! He is a very clever and articulate man and gives a good account of how it felt to grow up autistic.

sponge

chairs

I m not surprised you feel stressed. The lack of sleep alone would get anyone down! Is there a Surestart in your area? My friend got a Surestart volunteer who was a retired nurse and they visited once a week for a couple of hours. It isn't much but if you could just have a break once in a while it will make all the difference - as I know from experience. I hope things get easier for you soon. <'>

Hi Luigi, I was taught CBT by a psychologist to help me deal with my sons behaviour. It helped me cope when he kicked off in public as I learnt to not worry so much about what strangers thought and it taught me not to take what he said or did so personally. It's all about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, so for example, if he kicked off in public I just reminded myself that the people who were staring didn't matter and hopefully I would never see them again anyway. When he was younger he was a 24 hour a day nightmare so it helped a lot to finally look on the brightside. The more positive I became the calmer I was and that helped my son becomer calmer too, as he was picking up on my anxiety. I am not sure how CBT would help you but I can see that it might help your wife deal with the way you are. My son's father (my ex) sounds very similar to you and I can sympathsize with your wife. For years I bit my tongue whilst my ex gave me his opinion and usually it was very critical and argumentative and to be honest I look back now and realise he bullied me. Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but that was my experience of living with someone who "said it like it is ", "was just saying what everyone else thought" and " liked to be honest" (his sayings). He constantly raised his voice at me too. If your wife has lived with you long enough to have a 12 year old daughter then she must care for you, but you owe it too her to have more consideration for her feelings. When my relationship broke up I had no self-esteem left as my ex belittled me so much and spoke of how he was just being honest and not mincing his words. He would say something that might be true such as "you are putting on weight" but a nice man might say it kindly, by hinting perhaps, whereas he would aggressively say "have you seen the state of yourself lately? you're a mess". He thought of himself as no nonsense too but to be frank a lot of his opinions were actually nonsense and if he thought about things a bit more he wouldn't say them. I am sorry this isn't a particularly helpful post but I think if you want to make your wife happy you are going to have to train yourself to be nicer to her. And it will be hard work. If you are annoyed about something perhaps you could write it down for her as it might be less confrontational. You probably could benefit from some kind of counselling and CBt might help as I know it is used to help people break other bad habits so why not the way you interact with people? Good luck Luigi

I've had to restrain my son in the past too and it is an awful feeling but he was a danger to himself and others. I was always surprised how quickly he calmed down as I held him. A psychologist later told me this was because he was kicking off because everything felt so out of his control and frightening to hiim, so when I took control of the situation by holding him tight and close he suddenly felt much safer. So in a way you taking charge of your son by restraining him might not be as negative for him as you think.

Lol Last time I took my son swimming I got changed in the same cubicle as him. I nearly stayed there all night as he shouted " you look like a Japanese wrestler" in an (as ever) very loud voice as I got changed. Truth hurts

Hi Zaman, My son had a victorian day last term. I was glad he is a boy as it meant just white shirt, school trousers tucked into socks and grandads cap. I seem to remember the girls all had mop hats - but christ knows where they got them. They also had long skirts, shawls and dark coloured tights. Sorry this isn't very helpful but if I find out where you can get one of those miss moffat style mop hats I'll let you know.

field

Emilyit was so interesting to read your point of view. When my son wakes up at daft times I make him try to go back to sleep and it really doesn't do him any good. (stops me from being a grump all day though!) When he was younger I saw his poor sleeping very much as purely my problem, as I was sleep deprived and he always seemed fine. As he gets older it is horrible to watch him struggling to wind down at night. Now he actually wants to get to sleep at a reasonable hour he quite simply can't.

scout

What struck me was that many of their lives looked so tedious Even talented and gifted kids are allowed to be silly and have fun. It will be interesting to see how things work out for them.

Dinghi (is that how you spell it?)

Thank you Tigna.

It might be that as the nights get lighter they will stay awake longer as they can play outside. I hope so for your sake as I know how hard it can be from experience. I know it isn't as easy as keeping them awake longer as they can be a nightmare when they are tired. I only have one child and you have my full respect for coping with two!

Thanks for the responses. <'> Mark have your tics changed much in intensity over the years?I am interested to know if things get easier in adulthood (and worse in puberty!) My son does have OCD too which is another sure sign I guess. I have been to the Doctors before regarding these tics but of course he repressed them, but I think I'll write to his Paediatrician. Thanks again everyone.

Hi, My 7 year old son has a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome. He also tics a lot. This started when he was 3 with rapid eye blinking for about 4 months. Since then he has constantly had at least one tic. We've had sniffing, coughing, throat clearing, grunting and teeth grinding at various times. When he is very upset he rolls his eyes and can pull some very odd expressions. When he was younger this didn't bother him but now his classmates are starting to notice and say things (not nastily as yet). I want to know if this is full blown Tourettes or just tics and if it is is it worth seeking a diagnosis? I think teachers might be more protective of him at school if he had a diagnosis. Also I used to think these tics would lessen as he aged but now I've read that they get worse with puberty! Does anyone have any advice?