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I usually start sobbing the minute any one says can we have a word? or Mrs C do you have a few minutes!!! If they are then telling me something nice i continue crying!!!! Not much hope eh???!!

That must be so worrying for you <'> Could you take him out of school for a day and have a day doing something that he likes just the two of you. Maybe he could then relax and elaborate on his anxieties a bit. Maybe try using some social stories to get the discussion going. he may then feel that you are taking his concerns very seriously (although i'm sure you are) The sleep thing... my boy could never get to sleep before 10/11pm and it would take a lot of fidgeting and messing about. now he has melatonin and sleeps 20mins after taking it. he is much better for the sleep

WOW YES!!! We have had an OT for the last 2 months and she is fantastic. She has a totally unique perception of my son and sees what a lot of others cant. She can see if my sons behaviour is linked to sensory issues and offers really practical advice to combat it. She also has a fab tool box to help him with his motor skills or seat positioning etc. One of my favourite little ideas that she has given me is putting my sons shoes on a piece of paper so that he can find them in the morning and so that they dont just blend into the carpet. Simple but very useful!I really would not want to be with out her.

Claire your son sounds so like mine!! I have made a big wall chart with a moveable today on it. As my boy has auditory processing difficulties i have pictures that i stick on for each event that is coming that month. At breakfast time we discuss what is coming up in the week and then we work out how many sleeps until the event. He has no idea of time or days of the week in relation to him so we always talk in terms of how many sleeps. It prevents too many suprises and gives him time to adjust if the week is going to different to the norm. Each day he can check it if he needs reassurance. I suppose its a visual time table for home Hope that makes sense!!

special children are given to special people! Thats what i was told and it keeps me smiling when times are hard. <'>

I found out by moving my son how important the schools attitude towards asd or any other difficulty is. If you go and look at other schools not necesarily with the intention of moving him and just ask what they would be able to do and what they would do differently especially at play times i think you would be suprised. Schools have to be proactive in meeting the needs of our kids and that is not just in the class room. My boys first school only had dinner ladies outside at play times and they did nothing but mind the kids, maybe hold the hand of the sweet little girl! His new school have a teacher or a TA aswell,outside organising games if the children need input. They also have lots of equiptment avaliable for the kids to use. This is great for my boy as he can play happily by himself on a bike with out appearing different. We have never had reports at his new school of him Degnoming the playground!!( harry potter!)

Thanks all! I think that the coping at school is probably the underlining cause of his behaviours. I posted the other week for tips regarding his violent behaviour at home after school and again the recurrent theme was him doing well at school and keeping a lid on it. The psychologist is going in next week to see if she can see any areas of stress that we can alleviate but i'm not hopeful. the ot went in last week and said that he is really happy and even has a best friend at the moment! I dont know......!!!!! Thanks again.

More advice needed I'm afraid!!!! Does any one have experiance of their childs behaviour worsening in some areas and almost regressing. My boy is 6 (asd, learning diff, spd). He is coping well at school but at home his behaviors are becoming more autistic then we have ever noticed before. He has also started to be really problematic with his food he says that food gives him tummy ache and so will only eat shreddies or sandwiches or a chocolate bar. He is almost uncomfortable at the sight of a hot meal. If that makes sense to anyone please send me some advice!!!!!! To give it more clarity (just read it back & not clear!) Heis speech is more muddled, he has started to make jerky movements, his eyes flicker a lot and blink lots, his understanding is getting worse, he is avoiding busy places and luckily telling me he doesn't like shopping etc (not that i go with him often). His loathing of his 4yr old brother is at explosion point. He is becoming fussy about clothes light smells. The list is endless. I do wonder if all these things have always been there and i havent noticed or if they are coming out now or if he is getting worse.

My son is 6 and has asd. He used to sit in the playground or reenact his play station games by himself. His school at the time just watched and did nothing to encourage any socialisation. If anything they just looked at him as if he was too wierd to bother with! We moved him to another school who see play time as very important and they spent weeks going out with him and encouraging class games. Eventually the class started to play out together and almost physically take him and mind him. Now he is comfortable being himself with his peers and they are comfortable with who he is. He knows that he can join in if he wants to and that the others help him. The school is very autistic friendly! Your sons school really should be watching him and playing alongside him and the other children. I have read through a lot of your posts and you really are having a tough time! I have found this forum fantastic for help and support. I have just pushed and pushed for everything that I think that i need for my boy. If people dont do things that i feel my boy needs then i make a nusiance of myself until they get bored of listening to me!! Take care <'>

Hi suze Your morning sounds like it starts like mine!! My boy will say GO out Go away You stupid idiot, all triggered by Good morning Lovely!! Like you I often wonder if i should say dont be so rude and get firm but then every ones day starts really badly as the anger escalates. So like you i go out take another sip of my tea... look at my 4 year old who dresses himself and is a little ray of sunshine and think ok its not my fault ... i got that one right so i cant be to use less a mum.....and go back in offering drinks and cuddles or the world on a plate if he will get up and let me dress him! No one else can critisize how we parents do it with our precious ones because they will never know what our life is like. You sound like a good mum to me and the fact that you are thinking about your stratedgies for dealing with your son shows how much you care. <'> <'> Dont you all just love people who go mmmmm he wouldnt do that if he were mine.....mmmm well and then give you that look!!!!!

My boy picks up a phrase and uses it over and over again. Usually someting he has heard on a film or some one has said to him. The speech therapist picked it up very early on as he uses the phrase instead of his own language. Luckily his change every couple of weeks. The best one to date was a spell from Harry Potter!! Good luck

thats a really positive step for you! beware youre emotions now! i was really relieved when my son was diagnosed aged 5 then a bit more relieved as they added to the lists!! i read and read until i could think no more, then denied it all and thought the professionals new nothing, then i cried and cried for days and went into why me and what did i do wrong and please not my boy and then i accepted everything again and became obssessed and i think i am now nearly stable but tinkering around the obssessed mark!!!! this site is fab i wish i had found it sooner good luck.xxxx

thanks again every one! i have been trying to teach him to use colours to describe how he is feeling.red if cross he decided and yellow when feeling better. he has picked it up really quickly! he stayed with my parents last night and spent the whole night telling them RED every time they spoke!!! i'm going to get some more books as recommended! thanks xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <'>

Thank you so much for the replies. I will definately look into the punch bag idea. When the weather was better i did send him out on to the trampoline after school which did help. My son is 6. I did try using colours to describe how he was feeling last night, because of his communication problems he doesn't express himself very well verbally and cant take in my responses when he starts to get stressed. I am sure the problems are stemming from the stress of holding it together at school all day. They are a wonderfully supportive school and the team that care for him seem ok to continue on as he is coping during the day, but i know that once the christmas silly season starts he will get worse. I would like to wrap him up and run up a snowy mountain and just wait christmas out in the peace!!( he loves the snow!) going to do some more reading now!! Thanks xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <'> Have just read some of the links thank you. My son is at action plus and they are evidence collecting ready to apply for the statement in 6 months. In the mean time they feel school have enough provision i n place to support his needs. They also dont think that he will qualify for the extra hours now. Raeding the link made such sense as he really does pretend well. A lot of people are amazed that he has difficulties. I am due to see the psychologist soon I think i may insist that she go into school and observe him as she does believe me when i say he isn't coping. <'>

Paris.....(plaster of )

Morning all! I cant sleep as i'm so worried and upset! My son (ASD Semmantic Pragmatic& Learning difficulty) Is becoming increasingly aggressive towards me and his brother(4). Usually trigged by nothing huge and always after school. Last nights was over tomato in his bolognaise. It resulted in a smashed money box his bed board being thrown accross the room, my kitchen door being kicked. all in all about 20 mins of screaming rage. After that i convinced!him to have a lavender bath, nice music etc and it all calmed down, mean while had to call my mother for backup to have little ones. What is awful is that he then becomes his usual gorgeous self with no remorse and no real recollection of the incident. My other half wants to punnish the behavior by threatening to take something away but i dont as he has no control of himself and i know that if something triggers a tantrum then he becomes less likely than ever to remember a threat let alone be influenced by it. He is also becoming more autistic if thats possible? Last night after the bath he was flapping his arms and hopping/spinning around the kitchen, like his body was totally in control of him. He couldnt sit still. He has gone back to only eating certain foods doesnt want any one to look at him or talk to him other than me or his dad. he is doing well at school and keeps a lid on everything all day so i am very grateful for that but i want to have some time with my boys that isnt like a wrestling match, shutting my little ones in another room so they dont get hurt. Thank you for reading my ramble i actually feel better writing it down!! Time to get every one ready for school! Thanks. xxxxxxxxxx

After several fruitless phone calls they have advised me to write to the tax office detailed on my last p60 and ask for a review of the last 6 years tax. The form that is on the web site is no longer in existence. Well I'm off to write my letter now!!!! Thank you for the tip!

What a terrible programme! I wish i had watched the royle family!! As a parent with my boy in mainstream i now feel paranoid that my boy will never be asked to tea again by other parents as they will expect him to have 2 heads and be clinicaly insane!! We need a really good informative programme about the spectrum of autism, not media hype and scare mongering. Its a really tragic story whatever the issues are. Shame on ITV!! That really finished off my bad day yesterday!!

Does any one know if the diet calms aggressive behavior? I am struggling to cope with my boys temper tantrums and am now ready to try anything! Really bad evening!! So desperate!! Emma

if youre gp refuses to refer you to whomever you choose on the nhs then if you can, ask for a private referral to this paed , pay for the first appointment and then ask her/him to put you on their nhs list fo follow up appointments. It speeds things up and often wrongly gives you more freedom of choice. For first appointments we have always paid about 100 pounds. The paed who is seeing youre other daughter will tell you if she does private clinincs and then her secreatry can request a referral from youre gp. That keeps you out of messy conversations!! It worked for us so i hope it may be of use to you! Good luck

What about getting a childs all about me book and talking about bottoms and looking at pictures. Try and demystify the bottom! try to make it very clear that we all have them they are for poohing and thats it ....very boring really. Let him keep the book and look at it if hes feeling curious again. Rather than saying what we musn't do try letting him overdose on the fascination but by using books. He may eventually get bored? I dont know if it will help but might be worth a go. My boy has obsessions like harry potter or herbie and we try to let them run there course but bottoms is a different ball game!!!! See if it will run its course but through a book. <'>

What an outrageous speech therapist!! That is the kind of rubbish we put up with from people who dont know any better!! My boy is 6 and is asd, semmantic pragmmatic & has a learning dis. He makes eye contact but doesn't understand or process what he sees. He is very affectionate to me and goes rigid if any one else hugs him, he tells me he loves me a lot! He is very verbal although his words are very jumbled and he"goes around the houses" to tell you something simple. He also repeats films and uses them to replace his own language. He also has poor auditory processing skills and word retrival. He broke my heart yesterday when he couldn't name the dish washer a pan and a cupboard. We are very lucky in that we have a fabulous speech therapist who has brought him on in the last 6mnths beyond recognition. If i were you i would ask to be referred to an experianced speech therapist who specialises in children with asd and stamp youre feet until you get one!! Our children are so precious that there is no time for people to learn on the job with them. Difficult and harsh i know as people have to learn but our children need confident professionals who know exactly what they are doing and with whom they are dealing. If this speech therapist "has A go" and gets it wrong it is valuable time wasted and not her who has to sort it out! Sorry for the rant but i can see with my boy the benefit of good speech therapy

Hi I'm new to this site but have made a couple of posts already this week! I can't believe how useful this site has become to me in such a short space of time! I have 3 gorgeous boys 6,4 & 2. My eldest boy has ASD, Semmantic Pragmmatic disorder & a learning difficulty. He is wonderful and tries so hard to fit into this odd world of ours. He was diagnosed privately at 5yrs and since then our local CASBAT team have confirmed the diagnosis and added a bit more! My middle boy had a heart condition which was corrected this year he is very sweet and fairly patient with his brothers ever changing moods, and no3 is cute! It was watching my other 2 sons develop that made me really wake up to no1 sons problems. I stay at home now as i couldnt juggle work and the boys. No1 couldn't cope in child care and no2 was too physically unstable. I have been married for 6yrs and the boys dad is very supportive and thankfully understands my stress levels at the end of the day(although does still moan about his empty sock drawer!!). He takes over some evenings which gives me the space to get to the gym and recharge! Im so glad ive found this site as i now know that there are more mums out there going through the same stuff and that what i experiance is real and not all in my head. Thanks for reading my ramble!

thank you for that i am now busy reading!! the clinic name was on the web site that i believe is attached to ian jordan but i am just going to recheck that now. thank you

Hi There is great book by usbourne. it is from the usbourne experiances range and called going to hospital if i remember correctely it is about a boy having his tonsils or addenoids out. I dont know how old your son is but mine is 6 and enjoyed the pictures and the conversations that followed about them. My boy has limited understanding of most things especially verbaly so the pics helped. i made it sound like an adventure and that he was getting to spend time with just me and how lovely was that!! ( he is one of 3). The other thing to be cautious of is that the pre med can sometimes make them become quite disturbed and a bit of a handful when they start to come around. Be prepared, my boy went loopey for 1/2 hr and then fell asleep for the rest of the day! Good luck I hope you both get on well <'>