loupin

Hello Can anyone offer any advice on where I can get some input. My son is 13, totally gorgeous and looks like anyother teenage boy, complete with superdry tops and smelling like a boots counter! The problem is that he can hold a conversation and the vast majority of people just consider him aloof and maybe a bit rude or strange when he is neither. He has semmantic pragmatic disorder, asd and a learning difficulty. He is so vulnerable because his disabilities arent obvious. Dont get me wrong I am glad that they arent obvious, but equally people lack patience and understanding of his needs and he gets labelled as lazy, rude, inattentive etc etc. He is working academically at about age 6/7 years and his reasoning skills are about the same yet he wants to be treated like a teenager and have all of the responsibilities associated with his age. He can be inappropriate and say and do things that make us cringe, he is disorganised, clumsy and chaotic and spends a good chunk of his life hating me as I set rules and boundaries. He goes to a great school but I think even they struggle with his attitude to learning (doesnt see the point)! at weekends all he wants to do is lie in bed and is abusive to me when I make him get up, he hates the food i offer and only wants takeaway (i of course dont give in). Its just a sad depressing nightmare and there is no specialist support. there is plenty for classically disabled children but the complex nature of my son seems to make us slip between all services. When he was small and had more stereotypical behaviours, ie screaming, head banging, faddy eating, poor sleep, rigidity etc there were so many resources and things we could do, but now if I got out pictures and charts the inner teenager would be mortified. I just do not know what to do!!! any suggestions greatly appreciated!! x

Hi I havent been on for ages so Hi again!! We are off to disney world in Florida! Cant wait! Does anyone have any advice? Within our group we have 2 little boys wth ASD?ADHD etc etc!! thanks xx

I will think of you tomorrow, i hope it all goes smoothley. <'> <'> <'>

Thankyou! Its a mad way of life isn't it!! We luckily have melatonin at night which does work eventually!! Well tonight is so far nice and calm so i think i may collapse with glass of wine and prepare for Monday!! Emma xx

Thank you all so much! I am wiping my eyes as i write this, i had forgotten what its like to talk (so to speak) with people who know what you are talking about. W is at my mums for the weekend to give us all a rest which is wonderful but i'm sure you understand what i mean if i say i am torn emotionally because it doesnt feel right to need a break from your son and i miss him. I have just completed the connors questionaire for our community paed, but i will do some research into bipolar. Huge huggs <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

Hi my son is 8 and has a diagnosis of ASD semmantic pragmmatic and a moderate learning difficulty but we are now wondering if he has ADHD. he is changing before my eyes, before he was very aggressive and violent especially towards me but now he is manic and totally uncontrollable. He is going off at 100 miles per hour, he is into everything, he is rude and verbally aggressive and he doesn't listen to anything i say. I am so desperate for some help but i have no idea where to start. Last night we had 2 hours of just ridiculous challenging manic behaviour at grannys house so i took my 3 boys home and left the little two with a neighbour convincing W that a walk would be good. We live on a hill and he ran!! he almost could not stop his legs it was terrifying to see his lack of control. It feels awful that i cant be on my own with my sons but it is starting to get that way If anyone has experianced similar problems and has any ideas please please get in touch as i am at a loss and starting to feel awful!! thanks

Hi Its very confusing! My sons speech and Lang results put him on the 1st percentile for all of the headings that you have listed, he is 8. He has semmantic Pragmatic disorder. You must get the SALT to make her findings a lot clearer and fully explain what those figures mean to your son and his ability to process language. Don't get down by the numbers, if I took my sons results on face value I would never stop crying! Good luck <'>

Hi I have 3 sons and I am forever looking at them and analysing the 2 that are NT. My eldest son has AS/SPD. My other two often display some similar behaviours that make my heart skip. I put a lot of their behaviours down to learnt behaviour as their role model is a child with issues, but some days I think oh god!! and I make an appointment to see someone about it and then I cancel for fear of what they may say. You should go for the appointment and then you have a clear picture of what if any problems there are. Remember the relief when youre other child was diagnosed, it was for us, it was like having the jigsaw completed. Be braver than me and go for it!! Best wishes x

Hello I havent been on for ages!!! so sorry for going straight in with a question! But I think that my son may have ADD. He has ASD and SPD and a moderate learning difficulty. His behaviour is quite erratic his concentration is 1-2 minutes unless it is the chosen film of the month and when he goes high he is flying!!! I have become more concerned as the high periods are becoming more frequent and harder to control, its as if he cant hear me, this then rebounds on to my younger sons who luckily I can calm down if i intervene quick enough! Its like a silly spell but 10x worse. He is still aggressive having almighty out bursts but the high spells are taking over from that. I initially thought oh well at least hes happy and they are playing together but now its not fun! my 3yr old normally ends up getting hurt and then aggression comes as we intervene. Any suggestions would be greatly recieved!! I could ring the psych teams but to be honest I get further doing the research myself!

My son has quite severe SPLD. It has an amazing crossover with ASD and apparently it is quite hard to distinguish between the two. My son has had very good speech therapy and he has progressed very well. They best descibed it to me by saying, when he hears a word or name he takes it in to his brain and files it. The problem is that he files it in the wrong section, so when he then needs to access that word again he can't easily find it and requires prompts to remind him where it is filed. If he cant find the word then he often uses chunks from a video to fill it! I hope that it makes sense! If you wish to contact me I can probably get you some more info. Just remember it can be helped a good speech therapist is the key!

Oh my god!!!! I would be in the car right now! How dare she!! Don't stand for that! Thank goodness your boy can articulate to you what is going on!! I'm furious on your behalf..... Good luck x

Hi I have had similar panics with regards to my younger sons. I have 3 boys 7yrs(ASD) 4yrs & 3yrs both NT. At times I have been at my wits end thinking that they are exhibiting autistic behaviors. I think that they probably did show odd behaviour but then their role model was an elder brother with ASD. As they have mixed more with other kids then they have started to play like other kids. My youngest was probably the worst, he tries to behave in the same aggressive way that his brother does and also is very unreasonable. I put him into nursery twice a week and it has helped a lot. If you are at all worried speak to your health visitor, mine put my mind at rest and did take my concerns seriously and we worked through them. I did find that I had started to look at what is normal behaviour for a toddler and read into it, even NT 3yr olds are odd at times!!! I hope that helps a little Loupin x

Hi all I haven't posted for a while as for a while I have been living in a buble where my sons asd hasn't been my main focus! I have been really busy on other projects and he has been better but of course then came the end of term and then the B****y hols. We are in the 2nd week and for the first time ever week 2 has been as bad if not worse than week 1!! He is hyper and has become downright dangerous. He is finding danger everywhere. My poor middley son is a nervous wreck, shaking and crying constantly about anything. My son is biting hitting throwing and blowing inappropriately in our faces. It took 45mins even with his melatonin to convince him to go to bed. we are all exhausted! I feel like a human punch bag! I think its probably my own fault as I didn't do enough preparation for the hols as i was so busy but it was nice for a while to be busy being normal and not being busy with a million appointments! My husband and i are now fighting because our son found the garden shears and cut every branch of our gorgeous honey suckle bush at the bottom!!! I said he cant blame our son as he should never have left the tool shed open but in reality i know we arent able to be perfect all of the time. Well moan over... if any one has any good ideas for resuming order in my home please pass them on....! Oh yes just to add to it we have had 3 weeks of nits!!!!! He hates his head being touched so you can imagine the battle there, his head was crawling!!! Have used Lyclear and derbac in 7 day cycles and i think we have gotten rid of the damn things.... you dont think it could be the lotion that has sent him over the edge......or the constant touching of his head?

what are exit passes and how do you get them? that would make trips out better

I am late to this post..sorry havent been on for a while...do you have a local child and adolescent psyc inpatient facility near you? I couldn't work out if you took your boy into a general paed ward or psych? We aren't far from Birmingham where they have an excelent inpatient unit in the main childrens hospital. There is also an excellent child psychiatrist in the priory here who helped us a lot. Obviously you are really sick of social services have you got a sure start team near you i may be wrong but they might be able to send home start round to help you and support you. i really feel for you its so heartbreaking to see our lovely babes suffer like this <'> <'>

we had a similar issue last year and we sort of bypassed my sons dislike/fear of dogs and bought puppy.It was the best thing that we ever did, his fear of dogs is now totally gone!! It is really tricky balancing the needs of all the kids, i have 3 sons and i really feel for my little 2 as they are often on the recieving end of tantrums etc.

have another glass of wine and agree with yourself to pack erratically in the morning!! I would rather get up really early and load up the car as I am always too stressed at night have fab holiday just remember whatever you forget you can always get in tesco!!!

After my big moan the actual birthday on Sunday went ok. I did get upset on sunday morning when he came into our bed, he saw the pressies & balloons and said who are they for mum? I said who do you think they are for? He thought that they may be for his cousin but he had no idea! He had forgotten that it was his birthday! We gave him lots of prompts and he then remembered. He loved his nintendo. He went out for a walk with his dad and the dogs and we just let the day continue like any other sunday. he was quite agitated all day and we had a few minor melt downs but we got through it!!! Did any one watch recovery last night? I felt that there were quite a few similarities to my sons behaviour, like the remembering sequences to do things, retrieving words, frustrations etc. Obviously my boy doesn't do a lot of the things that the character did but I just was quite suprised by it. I am so glad to have you guys to off load to Thank you xxxxxxxxxxx

<'> <'> Oh gosh poor you. you really have got your hands full! I have 3 boys 7, 4 & 3 and i'm also in Worcestershire!! My eldest has Asd. Can you get his parents to have a word with him, I imagine that you have already tried!! Or could you get a sitter and go out for supper and try and explain how you feel? I find that we talk better away from the house and the kids. I too have a husband who will lie in at weekends and watch me run round like an idiot, he has fazes where he wakes up and helps and sees how tired I get! My favourite option is a bucket of cold water!!! I've just read your other post god you have a lot more than a lazy partner to deal with! Do you have any family or friends that you could stay with and maybe shock him a bit? Good luck and take care . x

Hi all I just needed to off load before I try to get some sleep!! Its my eldest boys 7th birthday tomorrow. (ASD SPD and mod'learning dis) he had a group of friends to go bowling with today which went really well. He loved it and we were so proud of him. But he has struggled with the rest of the day, I think the build up to his party really worried him although he isn't aware of why he is worried. His behaviour to his little brother has been shocking. He bit him on the face near his eye and I mean bit him!! I felt so awful for my middley son who is 4 1/2. what on earth can you say to make that better? He has hit out at his other brother (2 1/2) and at me and even tried bitting me. he has had his ps2 taken for 2 days for bitting but to no real effect. After a serious melt down at bedtime he fell asleep and looked just like an angel, and now I feel terrible. I can't stop thinking about the night he was born and how we felt and how tiny and perfect he was and here we are 7yrs on restraining a hysterical boy,giving sleep medication, a boy who wont dress himself hates life hates his brother and just doesnt understand the world at all. What happened!!!!! I feel like screaming!! I adore him as much as I did the moment I first held him in my arms but i'm tinged with a sadness that I wish would go away. Well that feels a bit better! I hope he enjoys tomorrow. I've planned a day of calm and no suprises, hes even told me what card he wants and what pressies to get. Sometimes I hate autism but other times i love the traits that make him unique and special.

hi welcome to the forum, its a great place to be especially on a down day!! I'm also in the midlands. I think that Barnardos offer respite carers. They have an office in Droitwich(nr Worcester) where they coordinate their respite work from. It may not be the right kind of help that you are looking for but they may be a ble to point you in the right direction to other useful agencies. I'm frustrated for you that your psychiatrist is missing the point and still sending your son appointments instead of coming out!!! is your Gp any help, could they not speak to the psychiatrist and explain the situation? Good luck <'>

Could you perhaps pay for the single vaccines and omit the measles one? When my sons went for the preschool mmr they only revaccinate one of the trio as the other two are unnecessary. I dont think the mmr caused my sons autism ( he had the 1st ) but we decieded that it was a lot of chemicals to give in one go and that the single option seemed better and kinder to their developing bodies/brains. Its a difficult decision to make I'm glad that my 3 boys are nearly at the end of that stage! Talk to your dr and talk to a dr who offers single vaccines and see what they suggest. We are in the midlands, I can let you have the details of the Dr we use. Believe it or not he is very non biased re vaccinations. His surgery are great for advice and will talk over the phone.

my son rewinds his favourite bits all the time and pauses certain bits to show every one, of course presumming that we are all permanentley interested and can stop what we are doing!!!! It drives his brothers mad!

Welcome to the forum claire it really is fab, cant think of anything useful to say tonight as my brain is pickled from half term and wine therapy!!!! will be sensible tomorrow i hope!!!!!

I think you should smile first of all as this is perfectley normal behaviour for a lad that age!!! Have a chat and then put more security on his laptop!!! I have 3 sons and i dread this day coming!!!! their father assures me that all boys do it so we have to keep an eye on what they are doing but give them the space to "normally" develop!( don't very often get the opportunity to use the word NORMAL)!!!!!!!! Good luck