Kazzen161

I agree - this is serious bullying and needs to be reported to the school. The other girls need to be told in no uncertain terms that this behaviour is not acceptable (for their own benefit). Children need clear boundaries, and if they are not told off now, they may well escalate their bullying. (and why do they have deodorant cans at school? I didn't think they were allowed. Spraying it in her face is dangerous). I told my children to make a lot of noise if someone harrasses them (eg: shouting "stop that" loudly), so the staff will hear. One of my son's was able to think of clever retorts.

Is he getting 1:1? The school should be providing that, as it could prevent these incidents. If H&S is their first priority, then they need to provide full time 1:1. They may argue they do not have enough money, but that is not your problem - they need to sort that out with the LA. Even if he has meds, it is not going to stop incidents - that involves a long process of teaching the child to walk away/calm down, etc. Have they asked for advice from the EP/Behaviour outreach, etc? They should treat him as though he has AS, as a lot of the incidents could probably be prevented by looking at the triggers and making adjustments. Get the school nurse/doctor or your Health Visitor (they are often useful to mediate in these situations - they are not just for babies) to call the specialist to chase them.

mld stands for moderate learning difficulties. Julie, one way of judging is to ask what the children achieve when they leave school - any GCSE/NVQs? Where do they move on to? What levels do their children achieve at KS1/KS2/KS3? When I looked at a mld school, my (Yr 5) son was already working at a higher level than their Yr 11 children.

Independent schools do not have to take a child - have you asked them if they would take your child? Have you asked them if they have any spaces in his year? It would be a waste trying to convince the LA that your child should go there if they won't/can't take your child. I think it is a bad idea to name a school without visiting it first - you cannot tell what a school is really like or if it would be right for your particular child until you visit.

If the school is independent, your LA have to write to the school only - it is independent of the LA it is in. Your LA have no power over the school, so they cannot force them to take a child. Acadamies tend to be like a mainstream school (but bigger and newer!). Placements at some independent schools have to be approved by the Secretary of State (eg: if they are new and have not yet proved they are providing a good education), but that bit usually comes after that school have offered a place. The school should be able to tell you, or try their web-site. I presume you have already visited the school? And that your child has a Statement? Has the placement been discussed at his annual review? You would have to show that the mainstream school could not meet the needs of your child as per his Statement, and that your chosen school could - based on what you know about the schools and how well your child has done up to now. It is not about what school is better/best for him - it is entirely about what school can meet his needs. If the mainstream can meet his needs, and the independent just offers more, then it is hard to argue. The scene should have already been set for a request to an independent school at the annual reviews, etc.

Our schools/LA have an internal "post" system, as I imagine yours would. Thus any correspondence should be at a school/LA the next day. Personally I can't see the point in the LA sending schools his old Statement, as it is not an accurate reflection of his needs and therefore they cannot make a proper decidision. I also cannot see why on earth it has taken so long to get the amended Statement checked. They say that one of your preferred schools is full - my guess is they hope if they drag things out, so will the other one be.

If the school are not providing the help as per his Statement, it might be difficult to get a change of placement. The first thing the LA will do is ask why the school are not providing all the hours (unless the school are very good at covering it up). It might be worth looking at number 7 on: http://www.ipsea.org.uk/sevenfixes.htm

I agree with Kathryn, work on the fact that they said they would amend the statement w/c 10th August. Even giving them two weeks to re-write it and get it checked by their bosses, you should have had it at the end of August. They will either send the draft, admit they haven't done it yet or say they are re-assessing instead. At least you will know what they are doing. Do not leave it a week. Call them LA officer every day, until you get an answer. They may have taken your request to approach the school as an implied agreement to an amendment, rather than an amendment, because generally you would only send them paperwork that accurately reflects the child's needs (otherwise they cannot make an accurate decision). Have you rung the school you want and asked them if they have been approached by the LA? You also need to check they still have a place for him.

You need to think carefully what you will say at the review. It is disgusting that they are not implementing his statement and there are ways to deal with that if you wanted - or you could say "even with 10 hours of help he is still getting excluded/making no progress/etc" and therefore we feel his needs should be reassessed. The LA are likely to offer to increase his hours before considering a different placement, unless his behaviour is very challenging. I would be wary of telling the LA that you will be asking for an AS/ASD specialist school at this stage, as they are then sure to refuse to: review his needs/amend his statement/consider such a placement.

If it was done in March, then it is due for renewal soon. In the two schools I know of, they come up with an IEP written by their previous teacher (in June/July) and it is reviewed in October, February and June. It may be that they written a new one and not given you a copy. Why not make an appointment to see the SENCO and get to the bottom of it. If he has not met the targets set 6 months ago, then something is wrong, as targets are supposed to be SMART (realistic and achievable).

Other points to consider: Round here a statement for HFA would bring in extra money for a school, one for AS would not. Social services are more likely to give help for HFA than AS too.

It sounds like the school are keen to help, which is great. As you say you may never find out why he lost it that day - could be that other things happened earlier in the day, and that was just the last straw. I know the children at my school have all been a bit wild this week - when it is windy they are always worse too.

My youngest son is totally like this. He says he doesn't want/need any help, but he does (though only minimal). The only thing you need to consider re: the laptop, is that generally to use a laptop in exams it has to have been their usual way of working for more than two years, so if he stops using it, there may be implications. I would guess other children leave lessons too (eg: for music lessons), so will the other pupils know where he is going? Perhaps you could discuss these different things with him and try to reach some compromises (stopping some, continuing some, adjusting others).

Yes, thank you, I did read her post. Just because NickyB said she was happy with what the school did/are doing, doesn't mean that the school are in fact doing everything right. She did say somewhere that it was because he wanted to be first in, and I just asked why he could not be allowed in first (there was an implication that he had to stay out like everyone else). You and I have discussed before that my assumptions are not always the same as yours - that does not mean I should not put them forward for consideration. It is for NickyB to decide if they have any value in her particular child's case, as she knows her child (and the school) best. She is perfectly entitled to ignore any of my suggestions - I would not be offended. I was concerned that the teacher said he was excluded, when only the Head or her deputy (generally the deputy head) can exclude. It may be that the teacher is the deputy, but if the exclusion is not done correctly it will be invalid and shows that the school are not clear on the procedures. This then makes one wonder if they are clear on when they can use restraint. I have been in similar (and worse) situations before with children (as a LSA), and have managed never to use restraint. It does sound as if the school are keen to help, which is great. Nicky, another thing they could work on is finding a safe place where your child could go if he is angry/upset. Then they can teach him to go there when he is getting upset/angry. Once he is there he can be left to calm down, with someone watching discretely. That way he is safe and so are others. He could have a box of things to do to calm himself down. He will need lots of help to begin with to recognise that he is getting angry/upset, and to remind him to go to the safe place before he gets to meltdown stage. A child I worked with last year, often used to end up in his "safe" place (he had one inside and one outside), but by the end of the year he didn't need them anymore. I would recommend the book "Aspergers Syndrome and Difficult Moments: practical solutions for tantrums, rage and meltdowns" by B Smith Myles and J Southwick.

From what I recall only the Headteacher or her deputy can exclude, and you should then have it confirmed in writing asap (usually the same day) Is it a formal exclusion or just a "take him home for the afternoon"? Why can't he come in first if he needs to (eg: given him a "job" that means he goes in before everyone else)? Was it not possible to move other people/children away, rather then restrain him? Restraint should only be a very last resort.

Round here they always offfer parenting courses first -it is a cheap option. When you have done it and nothing changes (as the strategies don't work with your child), then they might start to listen more.

I'm not sure how much help the travel trainers give, but I think I would be concentrating on the last part of the journey for now. You could either park a few streets away and walk with him, or arrange to meet the trainers there. Until he is able to cross the roads safely, he will not be able to do the journey anyway. He needs to learn what to look out for (eg: crowds of youths), where it is safest to cross, what to do is he is worried (eg: go into a shop if he thinks someone is following him), etc. This will be good for him anyway, so he can cross other roads safely, and it won't be so scary or time-consuming as doing the whole journey. When he is happy with the roads, you could drop him at the tube station, and he could do the last bit of the trip. That was how my son was taught to use public transport. If you buy him a mobile - buy him a cheap one that no-one will want to steal (my boys took a cheap one to school, and had a more expensive one for other times), and teach him to keep it hidden away in his pocket or rucksack.

I agree with Bid - research and find the school that is right for your child, then prepare your case to back that up. I had to prove 20+ schools could not meet my child's needs before the LA (reluctantly) agreed to send him to the school I had already identified as right for him (and even that one was not "perfect").

The first thing that came to mind is that it is addressed to "Dear Parents". Unless it is a majority of Year 7 that have damaged their books, then I would be expecting a personally addressed letter (Dear Mrs X). This gives the impression that they are asking a lot of Year 7s to pay, which in turn implies that the damage was not more than "average". I would want to see the book (what's the betting they can't show you his particular one?), and to know how many of Year 7 have been asked to pay.

I have always said T has never been his real age - he always acts either 5 years older or 5 years younger! He has always been very mature in his language - you could have a decent conversation with him even when he was young. He was always a bit different to other children, but I thought that was just him being him. I think it is even harder with twins, as you have a constant comparator. It is a lot easier to treat them as an individual when you don't have a constant reminder of what all other children are doing. I remember I used to expect my lighter Twin to catch up in weight with his heavier Twin brother. I never even considered comparing their weights with that of their older brother at a similar age - I just had it in my head that the Twins ought to be the same weight - lol! I used to insist on buying my eldest son at least one toy for Xmas - even though he would never play with it (preferring a broken radio to take apart or some cables to pretend to connect together). When he was older he asked me why I bothered to buy him a toy, as I knew he would only give it to his brothers!

At it's worst, this approach could just end up rewarding the children for annoying your son (eg: they are more noisy - he gets more upset - they get rewarded for ignoring him). I can't see any purpose/justification for giving house points for ignoring him. The children in the class I am a TA in, are used to ignoring one child (even if he is under their table) - a quiet reminder to them is all that is needed. They see it as helping him to calm down.

I agree that a visual timetable would be useful to reduce her anxiety (which in turn should reduce her need for her obsession). If she is reluctant to use one, just put one up on the wall where she can see it, and make a show of consulting it yourself regularly, and she will probably end up looking at it anyway! You could ask if she wants to remove the picture from the timetable, once that task has been done, as it can be quite therapeutic. Giving her choices between pre-selected things is a good way to make her think she is in control, when really you are. You could have pictures of 5 things to be done that week (eg: cooking, swimming, a walk, etc) and she could choose which one she wants to do each day. My instinct would be to let her have a set amount of time on the PC each day, and then let her earn a token for extra PC time by doing her school work. You then do not need to feel you are depriving her - it is her choice.

My son wore pull ups at night til he was 7, then one night he was dry and has never wet the bed since.

That sounds a good possibility. I was in no way criticizing how you handled it - just "brainstorming" ideas/possibilities. We are all learning - and we never stop learning - just when we think we've got it sussed, it all changes again!

My son spoke like a grown up from an early age - no wow-wows or moo-cows - just dogs and cows. He aslo used long words (eg: filtration).