jlp

Just seen this thread, G is going with school to see the Horrible Histories

True - I was thinking more of the statementing process not the schools in our area. And you know my new found opinion on the statements actual worth! I'd still rather have one than not however and removing them altogether is very worrying. In my experience if it's not in a legally binding document then your chances of getting whatever you need are even less.

I haven't had a bad experience with Gateshead - but there's a SEN review going on up here atm so expecting all to change here also.

I used to work at Prudhoe Hospital briefly many, many years ago but I think it was only adults then and it's all changed a lot since those days. I hope you get something positive from the assessments. 6 weeks is a good time to really get to know your dd so hopefully they will get to know her well and be able to provide detailed reports to say exactly what she needs.

Both of mine are salt mad - I have to remember to hide the salt cellar and the oxo cubes! We only use salt for chips but they'd have it on everything if they could.

I got snapped at last week because my son is not handing in his various things in his bag - it's Y3 and he should be learning to be more independant (I queried whether the teacher had read a note). I cried with frustration in the car on the way home.

Well he rumbled on all night, exploding at the slightest thing and it took twice the usual melatonin dose to get him to sleep - lots of tears because he simply couldn't get over. I think no more parties for him unless it's a soft play one (still hair raising but he copes much better with those) I'm left feeling vaguely depressed but it's not G's fault, I knew he was unlikely to cope but he hasn't been to a non-soft play party for years and I thought things would improve (if there'd been space to run and space to get away from the music then it wouldn't have been so bad). Nevermind, onward and upward - I'm seeing my Gp tomorrow for some results and am probably going to ask for some medication to help with anxiety. Even people who do know about G and are nice think I'm a nervous wreck and I am of course.. but there's reason to be!

I took ds#1 to a party today - I usually decline party invites unless it's a softplay type one - but he was desperate to go. It was noisy with loud music and crowded and he ran rampage - touched things he shouldn't, went where he shouldn't, he even found the TV remote and turned the football off and the cartoon network on (cringe) it was a snooker hall so he was obsessed with rolling the balls and they weren't allowed (which was fine but a nightmare with regard to watching ds) If other people spoke to him to tell him to stop doing something he blew and shouted and screamed at them (mostly I was following him around but sometimes wasn't able to get to him quick enough). There's a lot of people thinking he's a nasty little brat tonight. In short it was absolute hell. I guessed it would be hard but you have to have another try now and again don't you?

It is but it's done commonly I find. I find (or found, luckily we haven't had this for a while) it's a fine line between being sent home for discipline reasons and being sent home because the child is no longer in a fit state to be in school. Of course this does absolutely reward the behaviour. We found we had to make home very, very dull when G was sent home. No PC, no TV and he did school work - of course he still preferred being home and bored to being at school!

Hiya L has just stopped doing this (hopefully). I was very worried thinking it was a sign of asd / or that he's very emotionally upset but our Health Visitor referred us to the GP who prescribed lactulose to see if he was possibly constipated and amazingly it seems to have really helped the problem. I was very reluctant to give him it thinking it was more a behavioural problem than a medical one but it has helped. It might be worth seeing the GP and making sure there's nothing medical going on? You have every sympathy though as I had 6 months of cleaning up poo (I know other people have it for years and i don't know how they cope) and we moved house and there were my new carpets and wall paper (amazingly poo does come off some brands of white wall paper!) covered in poo!

To be honest our statement has only been in effect since September and as far as I can see there's nothing that is supposed to be happening actually happening! We haven't even got the visual timetable according to ds (he didn't volunteer this I have to try and ask subtly) so I doubt there's much in place for writing. I've waited a few weeks to let them get sorted but am thinking that something will need to be said soon. Of course there could be many wonderful plans in store but I'm unaware of them and in need of reassurance. He does have full time 1 to 1 now and apparently told her to stop nagging him so it would appear he's being kept focussed that way, he did a lovely bit of work last week. Great to hear your son is starting to write at his new school - I really am beginning to think that speciallist schools for children with AS are the ideal option. We're in Y3 now and I feel that we start from scratch explaining basic things every September and sounding like I'm nitpicking constantly and to be honest I'm beginning to give up.

My son used extremely violent language at 4 - along the lines of I'm going to stab you / cut off your fingers / chop you up and put you in the bin. A particularly mortifying one I read in a report was when a visiting senco asked if he was putting 'cakes' in the 'oven' and he replied no he was putting them all in a boiler to die. It was suspected - I felt - that he was repeating things he was hearing at home or on TV which he certainly was not. He simply was very bright and very good at thinking up threats to hurt people, it was almost an automatic response to any attention (good, bad or indifferent) from people. He also ran away frequently and I have so many memories of chasing him while having abandoned the buggy and ds#2. I did train him sort of to hold the buggy no matter what and that did help eventually unless there was a really big upset - problem was that then I couldn't get him to let go if I wanted to get in a doorway or around a shop (We didn't know he had AS until a month before his 5th birthday) I've no magic solutions but lots of sympathy! We did come through it and while G is still difficult to be out with, he doesn't run away anymore and I can trust him a lot more near roads (still not 100% but much improved!) He's 7, almost 8 now and not the same child he was at 4. Now it's my NT 4 year old who runs away and has no sense of danger!

Ooh you've just reminded me of G - he's had a fair few injections etc needing cream on the back of the hand and the injection was never the problem, the cream was! I'd forgotten all about that.

I have another social Aspie here - he has friends and likes (some!) people. I always thought that while you can get children with asd who are social - it's more how appropriate those social skills are. Eg a child who runs and hug strangers is social but that isn't appropriate. Does that make sense - I'm finding it hard to say what I mean.

My son is asked to go every year for a flu jab (I'd thought it was because he has mild asthma) but I've never took him as vaccinations scare me a bit. He had his baby ones and mmr but I'm loathe to risk any more. He's quite healthy and doesn't catch much or I'd reconsider.

Just seen it is a new school friend sorry!

How lovely We have children here for tea sometimes but G has never been to anyone elses house without me (he's not been asked but to be honest I wouldn't dare let him go - although it may be possible now he's a little bit older depending on where and with who) Hope they have great fun Is this a new school friend?

We all need to vent somewhere

I would try and get 'one to one support' specified on his statement if possible. Techncally even if they are trying to get Ryan as independant as possible then the support worker could be doing other things which help your son such as making visual supports / reward charts / social stories if she's not actually sitting with him. I would be annoyed if my sons support wasn't used for my son. My son has full time 1 to 1 and I dare say they do help the other children at times - they aren't going to actually ignore them but I would expect that their priority is the child they are paid to support.

I can see that people are within their rights to invite on child and not another in a class and I suppose you can't really say anything - however there's no way I would invite one twin but not another from the same class. There could be the possibility that the parent of the twins has to bring the other twin to watch children in their class have a party and not join in themselves which feels cruel to me and I wouldn't do it. To my way of thinking it would be different if they are in different classes, particularly if they are siblings in different years as this is the norm and even the children seem to understand this but to invite one twin but not another when they are in the same class does seem a bit mean to me.

We had similar with my son's statement - it was very vague and nothing was specified at all. I rang IPSEA and they asked me to send it and all the reports to them (a copy) and mentioned some points. I also went through all the reports with a fine toothcomb, identified all needs and ensured they were all on. Then changed all the 'access to' and 'opportunities to...' and specified hours etc (as I didn't have a clue I just wrote what I felt was reasonable) If it helps get you started on what sort of things to change I can let you see the notes to G's statement where I have what they wrote in black and what I wanted added in red. After doing all of this I went to a meeting (not with the LEA) and was told that I was asking for too much, that all statements are vague, made to feel that I was taking from other children etc - I got myself so upset over this but when I actually went to the LEA meeting they were really nice, I gave them a copy of the notes and they went through it and agreed to everything - with some improvements! Not sure why they didn't write a proper statement in the first place but I regret getting so upset beforehand as the people telling me what I couldn't have weren't the people who had any say in the matter. Chin up, it's hard work but you will get it sorted - there are legal requirements that they have to do I think they try it on in the hope that people will settle for what they've given them and sadly I bet many do who haven't access to all the knowledge and websites that we do. I pretty much rewrote our statement but it was worth it.

Thanks you two. I'm feeling slightly better this morning as I had a word with one of ds' friends Mums and her son came home with a black eye yesterday so she's gone in to see the deputy head (also senco) - it seems it's the Y4 boys in the adjoining classroom. I think my problem is I never know whether I'm over-reacting or nit picking because you get so used to having words all the time sometimes I wonder if I need to hang back (but then I worry!). Playtimes surprisingly have never been a problem for G, it's usually the classroom side of things. However we had huge problems where we used to live with children picking on him if he as much as rode his bike in the street and one of these children is one of the Y4 boys - it was a nightmare and I'm not prepared for it to start at school as he's always had friends and enjoyed playtime. So at least somethings been said and it's not from me for a change! Maybe it's more of a case of the Y4s being terratorial (sp?) with the new children in 'their' yard, rather than an obvious bullying G because he's different.

Ds is in Y3 and started this year with a statement for the first time. Apart from the full time 1-2-1 support, as far as I can establish none of the other stuff is happening - visual timetables, social skills, training for staff etc. I did pluck up the courage to ask for a home school diary which I write in but no-one ever replies or even reads I suspect. After a good relationship with his teacher last year (before she was off sick for a term) where there was loads of good stuff going on and excellent communication (unstatemented at that point) I'm feeling a lack of communication this year. All seems to be ok but it's hard to go from hearing lots which was excellent as we could discuss things at home to hearing very little. Ds doesn't tell me anything much about school either, it just doesn't interest him to talk about! He did mention yesterday however that some older boys are pushing him and calling him names every playtime (it's his first year in the junior yard) and when he goes to a staff member he gets told off as the boys then tell on him (I'm guessing ds retaliates - actually I'm guessing that ds now targets them in 'revenge' attacks as he needs to feel 'justice' if that makes sense) It's hard to tell exactly what is happening whether it's turned into a mutual 'we don't like you' game or if they are targetting him. Ds says he tells them again and again to leave him alone but they don't (and I can see why as he gives a fantastic reaction - ignoring people is something he's never been able to manage, particularly if he feels wronged). I've been in to see the teacher for a very quick word this morning and she said she'd try and find out who the boys were but ds said, when I asked, that no-one has spoken to him about it. Today he said one of them had done something (not sure what) so he had kicked the boy - I don't think any staff were aware of this. Ds seems quite happy with the world still (maybe this rivalary is adding an excitement to his playtime) and not partiularly worried or upset. Dp says to leave it and has told ds that if anyone hurts him to hit them back since going to the staff hasn't had any effect and I'm still worrying about whether to mention it again and look overprotective or that I think my child in an angel (and ds is usually well able to stick up for himself and not remotely angelic) or leave it until something happens and people do want to take notice. They also apparently do the same to ds' friends but my feeling is that ds is the main target purely because of how he will react (I'm guessing shouting, retaliation, creeping around after them) Sorry for the waffle - this time last year I was absolutely over the moon with school and all they were doing but it's the lack of communication and not knowing what is happening that's upsetting me. I asked 4 times at the end of last term, once in writing about his summer review and never got an answer yet (or a review) and most of the things used to support him (reward schemes, his 'area' etc) were withdrawn without notice or us being informed when his regular teacher went off sick.

I know what you mean - my son isn't an angel and will possibly lie but very rarely and so badly that he could be tripped up with one or two searching questions so if he says something I can establish the truth quite quickly and I believe him. Even when little if he did something naughty and I asked what had happened / who had done something he'd tell me! Sometimes the facts or reality of what happened can get confused (he might think someone hit him on purpose when in reality they bumped into him accidently) but if he says something was said I know that that is what was said. Now my little one can weave a web of total fantasy and when he says something it's almost impossible to determine the truth and I'm not used to this at all - we have to take what he says with a pinch of salt!

So happy to hear that all is going so well