Stella63

Hi Good for you!! Follow your instincts. We went through all the NHS facilities with AJ and they completely failed him. Decided to go private last year and have now found out what we should have found out years ago - and at 15 I have to say it is almost too late because he he has had years of being told he is 'just a naughty boy' when infact he is Aspergers and ADHD- he is only just holding it together at school, has offended and is under the youth justice service (who offer a fantastic parent support service scheme). Once you have the reports they have to listen and react positively to them, so go for it!!! Stella xx

Hi Nedgly I don't know what the legal requirements are but we are in the same boat with AJ and History. He was school refusing for much of year 10 and I don't feel he can realistically catch up with this subject and feel that it is putting him under unnecessary pressure. The core subjects are the most important and I think the school would actually rather not enter him than he fail it and muck up their statistics but I haven't actually broached the subject yet. Hopefully someone will know the ruling about this but I do sympathise. Stella xx

Well thats just reminded me, he does buy me flowers every week (shame on me for forgetting that!!) - not too sure about the salsa dancing though!!!

mmm.... my hubby is also hopeless at DIY so that wouldn't work. In fact I have yet to discover his true talents (after 20+ years together!) Actually, he is very good at buying and selling old tins and collecting vast amounts of junk - that must count for something!!!!??? Stella x

My dh is totally useless with anything technological. We have just come back from a school concert where OJ sang a solo and a duet which were fantastic!! I borrowed a camcorder from my dad because it was really simple to use - record button on or off - he stuffed up and failed to record anything because he thought the red 'rec' button meant it was NOT recording!!! AAAAGGGHHHH!!!! I should have known better. On our first date, over 20 years ago, he said 'I have recorded a film, would you like to come back and watch it?' I really wanted to see that particular film and when I got there he had recorded something else by mistake. What do you do? I know I should have video'd it myself but I cry when OJ sings and it would have wobbled all the way through!! Better luck next time heh! Stella x

Hi Panagiotis, My husband is Greek Cypriot and his name is Panos, a derivation of your name I think! He is however not a genius or even a multi millionnaire shipping magnate!!! Oh well!! Stella x

Hi Nicola I live in Woking, not too far from you! Stella x

Hi Kateball, I have been working at a state boarding school for 8 yrs as an LSA and the environment on the whole is fantastic for AS pupils. Both my kids go there (as day pupils) but we have several AS pupils who are either weekly or full boarders and once they are familiar with the routines and the structure, they really blossom. I have to say the AS kids tend not to be bullied because they have such open personalities and although they may not bond in the same way as NT kids they are liked and respected. I agree that it is of paramount importance to have a good relationship with the house parents and the SENCO who should all communicate with you on a regular basis. It may be worthwhile now to do a parent tour (however they operate their procedures), talking to the SENCO and the possible house parents and giving as much information about your child as possible to see whether they feel it is the right environment for him. Feel free to pm me if you want any more info. Stella x

Hi OJ had a pretty amazing transition considering he missed most of yr 5 and 6 because of anxieties with school and children etc. I was convinced he wouldn't make it but he copes better with the rigidity of time tables etc than he ever did at primary. He spent a whole day there in the summer term but after halfterm so they could get all the SAts out of the way. His TA went with him and he was given a time table and basically spent the day with a yr7 class that also had two AS boys. He took his camera, took lots of pics of buildings and members of staff. We then downloaded the autism toolkit - go to www.autismtoolkit.com and he spent time with his TA filling this in - it is brilliant!!! Hope that helps! Stella x

OJ got Mariokart for his birthday and its great fun (when he allows me to play - and I think he only does that because he knows he'll always beat me!!!) A few years ago I was the queen of Crash Team Racing in our house but now the kids have overtaken me and make fun of my obviously degenerating brain cells and aging reflexes!!! OJ taught me how to play Tanks yesterday but I had to hide behind a wall and he would then use my tank if his got blown up - I give up!! Stella x

hi gothschild. Welcome to the forum. I have 2 boys, 15 and 12. My youngest loves singing and is really into music and would love the opportunity to have pen pals but I haven't found any as yet. He also has Tourettes and is desperate to meet others who go through the same pain as he does with his tics. Maybe someone else here will suggest something. Stella x

Went to Royal Albert Hall last night and what a blinding concert!!! Although I'm far too young to remember them first time round I do have an older hubby who introduced me to their music. Lots of blues and jazz and funk - I'm still on a high!! Plus it was the first time in 4 years that I have been able to leave OJ with a babysitter!! I feel for the first time in ages that I maybe could have a bit of a life!!! Stella xx

Hi hev, I don't really know what to say to you other than you have my full sympathy and understanding. Although my AJ is still in mainstream (just!) every day is a nightmare for me - I don't know what is going to happen next. He has just been charged with 'affray' and is up at the Youth Court on wednesday. We are ****ing bricks and he shows absolutely no emotion about it (doesn't do them!). what do you do? You love them because they are yours but they push you to the absolute limits and then some. Must go and drink some vodka!! Stella xxx

Snorkels really help to stay under!!! Or if you have a huge set of lungs and can hold your breath for a very long time!!!

Hi Born in Birmingham, moved to Billingshurst, West Sussex when I was 6 and progressed (if thats the right word!!?) to Woking, Surrey. But have lots of family in Plympton, Devon and going there on Thursday with OJ for a few days of rest and relaxation!!! Can't wait!! Stella xx

Hi Janet, I'm halfway through my post grad cert in Aspergers via Sheffield Hallam University. I had 3 days of lectures (which they run in different locations in the Uk) have written a 6000 word essay which I am waiting to be marked. I then have to do another 6000 word essay which is work related, so using the info I have learned and applying to my work situation - not too sure how this part works yet but will find out shortly. pm me if you want more info. Stella xx

Hi Clare Happy Birthday to Connor (for yesterday). It's a huge one the first teenage birthday - more for you than for him!!! Speak soon Stella xx (sorry, went a bit overboard with the 'other people'!!!!)

Hi Well, what Harmony said! my first record was Puppy Love by Donny Osmond - I adored him when I was 11!!!! But I also seem to remember at that time we bought those awful Top of the Pops albums which weren't sung by the true artist - they were dire but we still bought them!!!! Stella xx

Hi I like my bath really REALLY hot and deep and lots of bubbles so I can get completely under for about 10 minutes then the water begins to feel cold and uasually there is no more hot water so I get out!! Having said that I probably only have about 2 baths a year (too many bedtime rituals to go through with OJ) - however I do shower every day incase anyone thought I was a smelly, unclean person!!! Stella xx

Hi, Got to share this as doesn't happen very often in our house!! OJ discovered he could sing and since starting secondary school in september has had 3 solos in school concerts, auditioned for I'd Do Anything and took his Grade 1 singing exam in February....... He not only passed, he got a distinction!!!! I am just so proud of him - he has no understanding of the distinction thing, just said ' Does that mean I passed?' Look out Andrew Lloyd Webber, you may have passed him up for Oliver but your paths will cross (he can sing the whole of Phantom of the Opera off by heart!!) A very happy and proud Stella xx

Hi Well, after keeping up with the forum!!!! Have to do the spider solitaire at least once a day. Bit of reading ( and now I've just finished my 6000 word essay on Aspergers I don't feel guilty about reading anymore!!). Bit of gardening. Bit of cross stitch. Bit of playing the piano (again, no guilt anymore) Bit of singing ( school senior singers choir - good for the soul) Looking at the above, it appears I do a lot of bits of things and nothing full on - oh well, it keeps me happy!!! Stella xx

Hi Janey, Not come across this either as a parent or member of staff. Be interested to follow the thread if anyone has more info. Stella xx

Hi BusyLizzie, I really sympathise as this is similar to what happened with OJ. I had been going in to school for several years saying there was something not right, could it be ASD but told, no, he's fine, he has friends, he is fine academically. In Yr5 he had a complete breakdown, mainly to do with friendship issues: 'how can he be my friend if one day he is nasty to me and the next day he is nice' etc etc. He couldn't cope with being at school, being around other children, in effect a huge meltdown with all his senses overloading. The school then realised there was a mega problem and after a multi professional meeting everyone was agreed to go for the statement. I was amazed that we got it so quickly, bearing in mind he is above average academically but it all came down to refusing to be at school or being there full time. He wouldn't have got the statement if he was remaining at school the whole time. I'm not suggesting that that is the answer but if your child is beginning to display severe anxiety over being at school then this could escalate as it did with OJ. Also you have to look at the school and whether they feel it is worthwhile pursuing a statement as he only has a year left and then it is not their problem. As far as you're concerned it makes more sense to get things in place before he goes to secondary school and I would fight the battle. Keep a diary of things that happen on a daily basis at school, use CAHMS if you have a decent one, they can help fight your corner. Sorry, that was a bit waffley IYWIM!!! Feel free to pm me. Stella xx

<'> <'> Isn't that just the best feeling!!! Stella xx

Hi, What vivid memories this thread has brought back to me about OJ when he was little!!! He was exactly the same and had one beaker that was so disgusting with all the teeth marks but he wouldn't use anything else! I am racking my brains to remember how we finally got rid of it but I just can't remember at the moment!! Old age has well and truly set in! I know it was something to be with being somewhere different, maybe a holiday and saying we had forgotten it. Will post if it comes back to me. Stella xx