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Jlo Dont be scared I have only perhaps in the last month realised I have as. .I think my father has it too.But we are still the us, still the same people we were before we realised.My thoughts are with you

Little nemo I admire you immensely for your willpower and putting your kids first.Life as a parent or even if you are not a parent is hard but harder still if you have as.Thats the great think about this website it is so supportive.Thumbs up to you. Alphazebra- well done for having the courage to think first before having kids.Maybe if my dad had done the same things would have been so different for my brother and I.Mind you my dad was unaware and still is that he has aspergers. Good job both of you.Be proud of who you are!

Sorry forgot to add Julian are you as yourself?If so how do you find parenting?

Yes I believe this to be true4.Sadly it seems alcoholism is very common in adults with aspergers.Do you think this is because it is a way of over coming their social difficulties.?They can be someone different when they are drunk.Having said that I have mild aspergers and don't even drink.Apparantly my father suspected as was the shyesy anti social person you coule ever imagine when he was young.Then he found pubs, drinking, women although by then he was all ready married to my mum and had me.He was violent towards my mum so she upped and left and I think he carried on in the same pattern for years!Sad really

I believe my father to have as he doesnt know and he is a useless father.He is just not interested unless someone is doing something that he is obsessesed with.He finds it impossible to keep in contact and is in his own world thinking of himself before anyone else.He is also an alcoholic.I have aspergers too but only very mildly.I have two children and am nothing like that.I am a good mum and I would do anything for my kids they come first.

I personally was unaware I even had aspergers until recently.So for me my aspergers was so mild that I didnt need intervention really.But I realise not everyone is so lucky.I too think I pass for normal unless you get to know me fairly we ll.

I think it probably depends on the level of your as and what type of job you can do or are doing as to if you work or not.I have very mild aspergers.I work and look after my two young children with very few probs.

sorry I have to agree with what's all redy been said.Of course she needs some help but is she going to get it even with a diagnosis.Doubtful me thinks.Best of luck

Does anyone know anyone with as that has an obsession with people rather than things.Also I find that someone with as is only interested in people if that person is feeding the obsession in some way, unless you are one of their obsessions.Once the obsession passes as some do then usually the person with aspergers isnt interested in you any more as you can no longer feed that obsession as it were.I agree there is a difference between interest and obsession that occupies every waking moment and is talked about constantly over and over.I dont think people with as can pick up the difference between the two.They say 'well whats wrong with having an interest'Nothing apart from when it becomes an obsession.I feel people can get hurt because of obsessions if suddenly when the obsession passes they are no longer interested and you unknowingly have been feeding that obsession.Sorry to waffle on but its just things I've noticed.

Tally Thanks for your interesing posting.I too have aspergers but very mildly.So much of what you say is like me.I am quite happy to chat to people at work or at my daughters school etc, in fact I like it but when I come home I need my own time.I dont get lonely really perhaps very ocasionally.My husband is usually very supportive too.I have only just realised I had aspergers so its a bit of a new thing.I also have ocd which i have known about for ages..I believe my father has apergers too but in contrast to your Dad was not able to build relationships with anyone I havent seen him since I was three years old.He is an alcoholic I think because of the aspergers.It is interesting yousay you dont want children.I have two children and am happy I chose to have them.My father on the other hand should never of had children.He has noconcept of how to be a father, because of his aspergers.He cant seem to keep in contact with anyone, he is very controlling and his own need and obsessions appear to come first.

Hi I think I may be able to help on this one.My father is an alcoholic.I have no contact with him but have been told this.Many years ago when he was with my mother he had many problems socially.She just thought he was very shy.He never really went out.He didnt like anyone to come to the house, he hated christmas wouldnt go to any parties etc.He is apparently very controlling, has been known to stalk people and has obsessive interests eg trains etc.I also have been told he has problems with emotions.However once he started drinking he started to be able to overcome his social problems and frequent the pubs picking up women!!This would probably be harmless if he didnt happen to have a wife and baby daughter(me !) waiting at home.Its obvious to me that in fact what he was suffering from is aspergers and also ocd.I think the drink was his way of getting through his problems.He didnt know what was wrong with him.He is in his sixties.In his day aspergers wasnt even heard of.But there was two children who suffered badly in all this.I have to ask myself sometimes should people with fairly bad aspergers have children who they have little interest in because they are too busy doing what they want to do, obsessions etc?

Yes you definately should worry about jabs.I hace learnt this from bitter experience.My daughter had her first mmr at 14 months no probs whatsoever.She carried on developing completely normally.Her social skills were fine she was described by another parent as the life and soul of the party.She interracted beautifully loads of friends chatty and bubbly.In other words a completely normal little girl.When she was four she had her mmr booster.Within a week she was beginning to loose her speech, she seemingly couldnt hear me she couldnt understand me.She began spinning, walking on her toes, grinding her teeth and sleeping for about four hours a night .This was a little girl who had gone through the night at 12 weeks and I had never had a disturbed night since!She had no desire to interact would hide under the table in wardrobes, in the playschool dressing up box etc.I am sure you all know what I am describing here.Thats right within a month my daughter had become severely autistic.Imagine how I felt.I blamed myself.I felt as though I had lost my daughter, people were crossing the street to avoid us.The upshot was gt ormand street diagnosed late onset autism with the cause being the mmr vaccination.They said the link couldnt be proved!!!Yeah right not much it couldnt.They told me she would never recover.I was one of the lucky ones within six months she had recovered, unfortunately I never will.The flashbacks the panic attacks the worry over my son who seems fine etc etc.She is now 8 and a half and is at school and doing well and you would never ever know.PLease think carefully.

Just wanted to say that some people with aspergers dont want to get married have friends etc they are quite happy on their own..However I have mild aspergers love my own company but will talk to all and sundry at the school etc.I am happily married with two children.I do get lonely sometimes although not often but I do miss people.It all depends on the individual.I didnt have loads of friends at school but I had some but when I come home I just wanted to do my own thing.Hope this makes sense.At the end of the day as long as your child is happy.

I can understand this.I have mild aspergers myself but I also have ocd.Part of the way that my ocd affects me is everything must be perfect and nothing must get damaged lost or broken.Not just my stuff but my childrens too.I can feel very stressed if something isnt perfect.I bet you are thinking shes odd!!!

Smileymab I second so much what you said.

From my experience people with aspergers tend to lean and rely on one person causing the asperger traits to lessen when being with that person.

What concerns me most is the way the things they do because of their condition makes it very hard to form relationships with people.Also the way society continually misunderstands them because of peoples ignorance of the condition.

Zemanski - just wanted to add people with as havebig issues with his time being their own and woe betide you if you happen to phone when they are enjoying their time on their own.I would go so far as to say their time on their own is one of the most important things in the world to them.they never gets bored or lonely or miss having company, but I guess thats aspergers for you.Nice to hear that you have the same sort of thing with your son.

I have aspergers .I have absolutely no short term memory problems but can remember every detail of things that happened when I was three.I have been told many times I have a fantastic memory, rather handy when you have two kids or when your packing for four people to go on holiday.I never forget anything.This might sound ideal but not when there is some things you dont want to remeber.I guess its my aspergers that makes my memory like it is .Having said that I cant remeber every make of car or date every film or car number plates but you cant have it all!

I'm confused, not sure if this is typical of aspergers an appalling short term memory.. What I cant understand anything that happened years ago people with as can remember every detail down to the colour of the curtains carpet etc!!!It's very frustrating. also able to remember useless info numbers etc.Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hope one of you guys can help.Does anyone know if people with aspergers have trouble with time..I wonder if they are so caught up in themselves and their interests that time passes them by.What does every one else think?

I am just expanding on something valiant skylark was saying. People with as dont like it if people have expectations of him.I am presuming that is because they rarely live up to those expectations because of aspergers.Therefore if you praise them you are showing emotion which they hateand secondly you are expecting them to succeed again which they might not,Therefore you have expectations of them.

I wonder if this is to do with people showing emotions.As a rule people with aspergers cannot cope when people show emotion especially if is directed to them.Just a thought.

Hi It sounds like aspergers to me too but also some of it is a bit like ocd.Aspergers and ocd often go together.I have both but luckily fairly mildly.I have to say if your friend has siblings on the autistic spectrum then she is likely to have a good idea of what she is talking about..Unfortunately until the 90s aspergers was relatively unknown.It was just thought that people were wierd or odd.Your not wierd or odd you are just you br proud of who you are and if you are happy being you then that is all that matters.I know its hard to come to terms with.I have only recently realised I have aspergers.Mine is very mild but it still drives me mad sometimes and other people!!Take care.There's lots of support here for you.

Little jem Have tried unsuccesfully to pm you in reply to your pm to me but for some reason it wouldnt go through!!!Dont know what I was doing wrong!Anyway apologies for the delay in replying have been on my hols.I am afraid I cant tell you who or what to do in order to get a diagnosis as I have never had to go down that route myself.My aspergers is very mild I am sure there are people here who can help.What I do know though is how draining aspergers can be and living with someone with aspergers must be even hardr.My sympathies are with you please keep us updated.