paulathomson

hi, like yourself we are an army family and we were in paderborn germany until 2006. we requested a posting back because there wasnt the facilites out there to help our son. again the medical centre said there was nothing wrong with ds. the sppech and language provision was non- existent even though i was told before going out there that they could cater for my ds needs. the speech and language therapist was on maternity and there was no replacement for 10months.. by which time the waiting list was huge and my son wasnt a priority. i fully understand your frustrations. can i ask.. does your childs school see any difficulties? or nursery? when i was out there the way i got help was to get in touch with the army welfare service and explain to them exactly what is happening.. this should get the ball rolling into getting further help. how long do you have left of your posting? i hope you get some help.

ALL behaviour is 'learned'. we dont enter this world with knowledge on how to behave.. we learn it. a teacher knows this..why is which we send our children to school.. to learn.. not just educational things but also social skills and how to behave appropriately.. i would point out to teacher that if your child behaves more unappropriately at school than at home that would indicate that the difficulties he faces are mainly at school and the learned behaviour is being sourced from school... plus..if they are treating unappropriately then he will learn that too..i think that all teachers should be sent on a parenting course as part of their pgce or training... so that they can deal wtih children the best way.. that is not for children with ASD but all children.. my childs teacher has spoken to the children in her class unappropriately on many occassions.. i was sent on a parenting course and discovered that the way in which some teachers deal with our child undermines the whole process of learning a child to behave/respond correctly..

im not an expert on AS only recently being told my ds has it. since he was 4 he has stuttered and stammered. the correct term i believe is dysfluency. i think it is quite common with AS.. although not strictly a part of AS i think. i find that i stammer when i m nervous or excited and the same goes for my son. when he first began speaking it was very prominent in all of his speech but now it is only apparent when nervous/excited because he is grappling with finding the right word to use and keeps repeating the same word until he 'finds' the rest of the sentence..if this makes sense.. it was my ds's stammer that was the stepping stone to getting him dx'd. i fought and fought to make his school see that he had a stammer when they couldnt hear it.. but finally i got him a s&l referral and he had 2 assessments which showed that he had severe expressive/receptive language delay..that was the turning point for us and he began assessments for ASD..

this is exactly what i think..children do not know what is best for them and that is why its the parents responsibility to look after them appropriately...i think that not getting the help a child so desperately needs could be seen as neglect under the childrens act.. if i remember rightly... so to capture 'meltdowns' on video in order to get the help for the child is ok...most parents will do what has to be done to look after their children... my child takes methylphenidate..he is not old enough to make a decision for himself as to whether it is good for his body or not...and if he didnt want to take his medication.. as he finds it so difficult.. that also could be seen to impinge on his human rights...however CAMHS dont ask the child if they want to take it.. they ask the parent... we did film my ds in his 'glory' and one time i told him i was filming him and one time i didnt... the intended use was for camhs but lickily i had a good paed and didnt need it... but i would have done anything i could to get them to see and therefore help him.

yes n-lite light therapy can cost about �450 for a 3months treatment inclusive of the glycolic acid face cleansers.. which are about �70 a bottle. it does vary from person to person on how quickly your skin will clear.. but if you look on the net for n-lite websites ( eden clinic is one of them) you can see for yourself the dramatic effect after just 1 treatment and after 3 treatments. i do understand how you must feel.. my own acne is made worse because i cant stop picking at my face..i cant cover it up .. its there on show for everyone to see.. also dermabrasion is cheaper and quick and can help the skin to clear up as it works by deep cleaning the bottom layers of the dermis.. but im not sure that it gets rid of acne completely.

cross off east berkshire.. particularly bracknell forest...

hi callum, my son is 9 and we are in the military.. so we move around alot. my son is so used to moving around and moving schools that i think he likes it now (as long as everything else in his life remains the same). he always asks when our next move is and says he cant wait to see what his new school looks like and meet new friends. the nice thing about moving is that you do make new friends aswell as keeping the friends you leave behind.

hi callum, i am 32 yr old woman with acne... had for 7 years. the roaccutane clears up acne but can have harsh side effects. it can even make people irritable and aggressive. i have been offered this but will not have it because of the damage it can do to the body. make sure you consider all the options before accepting this as treament. besides dermatologists dont like to prescribe this...if you do have this drug.. it will take a few weeks to see an improvement. this treatment can take as long as 4-6 months..to clear completely. have you considered looking at light therapy- n-lite treatment.? sadly not available on nhs, but is only 3 separate treatments i understand that acne can damage your self esteem and make you target of bullying. i have been through all that. i hope you get sorted....

this is a very double edged saw as already pointed out. from my own experience none of my 3 children had single jabs.. they all had the standard jabs/boosters and two of them are perfectly fine. mmr /booster is at age 3 me thinks if i can remember.. my 2nd child presented difficulties since birth so i dont think that his mmr/boosters had any causal relationship on his present difficulties.. if ive explained myself right..

yes the senco teacher took minutes and when i get a copy i will be keeping a very close eye on how and when they are implementing the proposals. i have got parents evening tomorrow too so might mention the instructions bit to teacher then.

well i went to the big meeting that was set up today and it was generally a positive outcome. another review meeting with all the same people will take place in dec. i wouldnt have done it though without this forum.. you have all been brilliant and also the pinned items have informed me greatly of things i would never have known..and not likely to have been told by school. my ds has not got an iep..which is being modified after todays meeting and the headteacher is looking into sensory issues he has- lights and noise. i am making him a stress ball which he can pick at till his heart is content..it will be his fave materials...fur... which might help to soothe him if he gets anxious too. the school have allowed this. they are helping him with salt, writing and dealing with social issues. he has 1-2-1 social skills and will be soon beginning with story boarding and social stories to help in this are and also his anxieties too. one of the mian things i wanted to raise i totally forgot until i get home and i really wanted it on his iep now. he has difficulty following instructions sometimes which is disputed by different teachers..i wanted to ask if they can break instructions down into smaller chunks.. i think im best not upsetting the applecart at the moment and maybe would be better if i wait until dec. meeting...even though i really wanted it now.. still thanks to everyone who has offered me advice.. paula.x

you have requested the files for your own use.. they have to give YOU access to these school records.. as it was yourself who asked for them. i think the rules for freedom of inof act is slightly different in that days they have to give you files may be longer than if you quoted you wanted the files under the data protection act. check this?? i would send them a polite email stating that you have rquested these files and they have 40 working days to give you access... not to redirect them.. im not sure if you can hurry them along for a specific date.. i think if they want to be awkward.. they probably can.. but that doesnt mean they dont have to comply with the law. i wouldnt count the days through the school hols.. i would count the working days before and after and if it is more than 40 days then i would mention politley that their time is up....

i thought i read somehwere that is has gone up to �95 per week you can earn...not certain so dont take as gospel...

yes i completely understand about stressing about xmas... im stressing too. i have already panicked about whether i have enough money for the kids presents etc etc i have another son who is 11 and lives with his dad. his dad is a bully and tries to get money out of me left right and centre. i pay my csa to him and send my son anything he needs. his dad has no other children but i have two others (not his). so he cant comprehend that i have to spread my money between 3 children, not just one like him. he has said that my prioity should be my older son. i only work part time and i pay for my son to fly to see us in school hols on top of other expenses. anyway.. to cut long story short.. i sent him money for a passport renewal 4 months ago.. and dad hasnt got it.. so i cannot fly my son to see us at xmas. i cant drive and also cannot do an 8 hour trip to get him by train because i have my ds who is asd and it is unfair to make him spend that amount of time on train, also unfair for my youngest child.. basically.. my older childs dad called me some nasty names and things on the phone 2 weeks ago and said that if i dont get him by train then i cant have my son at xmas... yesterday he sent me email asking for �120 towards a trip to france. i refused... at first..then he used blackmail.. said im being unfair to my son..you get the drift..i cant really afford to pay this money out but today i have had to ''find'' it otherwise he will use it against me. so xmas isnt a nice thought this year... without my son.. with little money.. and the prospect of his dad refusing me access in the future, know ing full well that i cant afford to go to court either.. happy xmas to me....

yes i think that js mum is right. my sister has never had to work and never will. she has learning disabilities and gets many benefits. she got mencap to help her fill out her dla and other forms. she doesnt have AS or any other medical reason for not working. in fact my sister could work in a factory or something and is probably more 'normal' than me.. she does everything i do and more but is just not very good at academic things. i think it is a matter of getting the right people to fill out the forms. mencap are brilliant. i know lots of people too who claim to be depressed and get incapacity benefit and dla.. have done for years.. and yet they are out with the rest of them at weekends in the clubs etc..they just know the right people to fill out the forms.. the right wording and know how to work the system. in your case.. i think that the gp is the first port of call. then mp, mencap and anyone else who can support your case.

does your child like soup? i know that son lived on soup.. so it was easy to blend up things and mix in with the soup as the taste is diguised. i found that the ''thought'' of eating certain things just put him off.. so less he knew the better. as long as the soup wasnt green then i could get away with many veggies in it. also i added lentils which have alot of protein in them..have a bland taste so not easy to detect. my boy is a carb-oholic and loves pasta. but he will now eat with sauce on it. in the sauce i blend up boiled courgette (but have to peel otherwise green skin gives it away) and ''red'' veggies.

i think that cravings for salty, citrus and spicy things are probably explained as a sensory thing. if taste is under sensitive then the salt will give taste buds a huge hit or stimulation because i think i read that the tongue is divided into regions.. one area being mainly receptive to salt another more receptive to sweet tastes and another area for sour and acidic tastes. when a taste is somewhere in the middle of these i think the all the taste buds are working together. sorry about the explanation.. im rubbish at explaining things...

would it be helpful to downlaod a copy of the cerebra guide? this is what i used for dla.. i have never claimed it before and found the forms scary to say the least... the link is on here somehwere.

i have already phoned school regarding refund and receptionist said thati couldnt have refund as i requested copies of all my sons school file and that was what she did.. and it wsnt her job to sort through it.. she said there ws more than one file with a copy of each doc in each file.. the words that come to mind are incompetent, inefficient and wotless. doh!!! i am soooo tired of fighting the school.. they said last week that my other child was lying about a badge and she is timid and would not tell lies..pulled school up but i have no proof...i am worn out with it all. just had two weeks off work.. been signed off due to anxiety... all down to this school business. if i go into the meeting guns blazing about all these things i worry it will detract from the main issue and that is getting him the help he needs and a statement.. which they will undoubtedly refuse to do... that will take any ounce of energy i have left to fight for that.. also i plan to say as little as possible.. because i will lose it..not helpful. the army lady will do most of the talking as she has over 10years experience fighting for children who have been excluded from school due to adhd/asd etc. she said she is going to hit them with the legal terms of the sen code of practice etc and what things that they should be doing for him etc.. she told me to bring all the files i collected today with me and she is going to hit them head on about where the files are and what the infant school have said.. i have difficulty expressing myself and especially when im wound up..so probably better that she talks for me..

possibly speech and language delay might the first signs of something else underlying but only time will really tell. or it maybe not... my own ds at 3 was unable to speak totally and at four began to speak. even at this age he wasnt given any dx of speech/lang only that he had difficulties. had i known then what i know now i wouldve pushed for a proper assessment and i would definitely have tried for dla.. its only now at 9 he been dx with asd and speech and language delay..you are on the right track... the thing with dla is you can only try..

pirates of the carribean3 soundtrack by hans zimmer and fave tune at mo is chevaliers de sangreal from da vinci code soundtrack.. again hans zimmer fabtastico

rest

been into the infant school where my ds attended previous to him going across to the junior school.it is a part of the same school but split into infants and juniors. i spoke to the headteacher who assured me that all of ds's files were sent across to the junior school..these would include all school reports from previous years any information about SA plus and his speech and language reports.. i have made a record of this.. its either the infant are lying or the juniors.. and experience would tell me the latter.. my other child aslo had her file handed in to the infants on the same day as my ds. she is now in the class (year 3 juniors) that my ds was in last year.. same teacher too ... i wonder if her file is incomplete too.. should i request her school records and that way if hers are complete then they i can prove that the files were handed in...? i personally think that the school have made bigggg errors for last 12months and now trying to cover their tracks by using the old 'we dont have any information about this'' scenario..

thanks for that.. dont know if the meeting will bring about any changes for ds. can live in hope but from eperience i would err on the side of ''probaly not''. last week i went to meeting with teacher ,senco and lady from dysfluency centre. on the report in school file it says that i agreed that my ds is bright and need no sen support!....i said no such thing.. the army lady is going to ask for an independant person to take minutes of the meeting so that they dont twist what is said..i alsready asked about a dictaphone but they will refuse for meeting to take place.

they also use connors scale to see whether child has attention deficit without the hyperactvity bit.. my ds was referred to CAMHS for adhd but has turned out that he has AS and ADD. we had to fill out lots of connors checklists and so did the teacher..but she only actually managed to get one done..she forgot the rest.. and now we have to do it all over again.. the checklists on medication and off medication...school