Rachelp2

Hi everyone, It's something that I've been dreading as I havn't had apply for 3 years, but as Dan's turning 16 soon they have kindly!! sent me all the forms out to fill in. (couldn't be more of a bad time, my hubby left last week & am starting divorce proceedings and have a 2 year old to also cope with!) Is it very likely that Dan will be entitled to DLA at this stage does anyone know? His needs have changed, he can clean himself up & doen't need as much help BUT he still cannot make a sandwich or any kind of meal, he won't catch a bus as he doesn't feel comfortable unless he's with friends, he still doesn't sleep well at night & I have to keep going in his room to make him turn his t.v off and sleeeeep!!! The list goes on but don't want to go to all the effort of the forms if he won't be entitled anymore. This will come as a massive loss to us as his DLA helps out with his Hobbies, taxi's for him etc, I also get carer's allowance for him which we will also miss. Money isn't the be all and end all but it will change his life if he isn't awarded it any longer. Hope someone's got a little advice for me on this matter as I am lost now he's coming to the age of leaving school & going to colleage, but i'll save that for another time!! Thanks in advance, much love xxx

Well my 13yr old goes back on Wednesday, I'm really not looking forward to it as I know he'll be sooooo stressed out, he's been bliss all holiday's without the pressure of school. The back in the routine thing should be o.k when he has done his 1st week and i'm sure he'll be happy to see friends (especially the girls!) as he hasn't seen many since he's been on school hols but by hell i'm not looking forward to the next 3 day's before, last week he was in tears as he was worrying about going back and told me that things are changing in school and doesn't know who his T.A's are even I wish he'd have told me all this before he broke up then i could have got some answers from school to put his mind at rest.......... school should understand that he NEEDS to know these things, don't they realize the problems they cause Anyway, Good luck & best wishes to all, it only seems a couple of years ago when he first started school, i wouldn't turn the clocks back mind you!

Thankyou Enid, I'm 28 weeks pregnant and it's still not sinking in, although I have terrible depression and off all medication till after baby, what's also not helping just now is that Dan's 6 weeks school hols are over a week today and having a hard time of him worrying and crying about going back to dreaded school.......... When he's down so am I, why can't things run smooth just for a little while (Sorry only meant to say thanks and ended up having a moan

Hi Lisa, Good post Thanks Don't worry seems ya not the only one with a 13 yr old who bathes himself! My son was 13 in March, last year I decided instead of me washing him (he's man sized btw!) i would sit on the loo and talk him through step by step the instructions with me watching, so this is now what happens, i do go into the bathroom now to double check he's washed his bits! and then i wash his hair for him as he hasn't mastered this yet! He's an only child but shock and surprize i'm due a baby in November (not planned and i'm 40 next year!) So i'm trying to get my act together and prepare myself for all extra work

Just bumping up as I too would find them useful if anyone has any Thanks in advance xx

Hi all, has this happened to any of your statemented children, if so what can I do about it (our rights)??? My son's T.A is livid as she now cannot spend the time she used to with my son as she has also been given another statemented child so my son shares her! The problem being that when the classrooms get noisy and disruptive his T.A used to take him out and work with him in a quiet room, he is very placid & quiet and get's stressed when the other kid's are not doing as they are told and can't cope with noise. Now because his T.A is doing the job of 2 she is unable to help my son as she has the responsibility of the other boy. This has only happened afew weeks ago since there's a new head of SEN (I think cost cutting!) but it's beginning to take it's toll on my son, he's not managing, he's very stressed and worn out, as well as a bullying thing that's gone on in the playground this week. I have an appointment with the head of SEN at school on Monday, but not sure what to actually say, I have learnt over the years that I am a quietly determined mum (LOL) and it's best not to go in with all gun's blazing!! But on the other hand I want (naturally) for things to run smoothly, my son is in year 8 (2nd yr of secondary school) and can't be doing with things going downhill. He has a band 2 statement so i'm sure he's entitled to have the care & attention he was getting before this new monster i mean lady stepped in!!! what do you think?? Thanks in advance, Rach

Hi All, Well it felt like christmas this morning when my post came.... I actually cried! I'm so grateful & pleased....... I have been awarded for Dan.... A computer from DELL, including printer, moniter etc all he needs, which will be making it's way here very soon then.... They are paying 380.00 into my account within 5 day's for day's out/holiday although not gonna have holiday now as decided...... I'm buying Dan a new shed and having it carpeted and alarmed for him to put all his obsessions in (Wre

Hi All, Well it felt like christmas this morning when my post came.... I actually cried! I'm so grateful & pleased....... I have been awarded for Dan.... A computer from DELL, including printer, moniter etc all he needs, which will be making it's way here very soon then.... They are paying 380.00 into my account within 5 day's for day's out/holiday although not gonna have holiday now as decided...... I'm buying Dan a new shed and having it carpeted and alarmed for him to put all his obsessions in (Wre

Hi All, Well it felt like christmas this morning when my post came.... I actually cried! I'm so grateful & pleased....... I have been awarded for Dan.... A computer from DELL, including printer, moniter etc all he needs, which will be making it's way here very soon then.... They are paying 380.00 into my account within 5 day's for day's out/holiday although not gonna have holiday now as decided...... I'm buying Dan a new shed and having it carpeted and alarmed for him to put all his obsessions in (Wrestling Figures it's his life!) which he'll love, I havn't told him yet about the computer.... once his stuff is out of his bedroom into the new shed, i'm going to redo his bedroom and he'll have his own computer in there.... it's like a dream come true, not just for me but Dan will love it. Thanks to you everyone here for putting me into contact, as I've said he's 12 now and been on DLA since the age of 5 but just never asked for anything before now, it's meant such a lot to us and I genuinely appreciate it. I know if I ever won the lottery, i'd certainly give to The Family Fund, they are amazing. Best Wishes, Rach xx A Happy Mum to a Happy Son!

Hi, Many thanks for your replies... I now don't think i'll get child tax credits as i'm on the old style Income Support! I thought it seemed too good to be true, they are sending out the forms to me now before I realised this Never mind I felt better off for a few hours anyway

Hello, Because I am on Income Support I didn't think i'd be entitled to this, I thought it was like Family Allowance! but just rung up to ask out of curiosity and it seems I should have been getting this but never have! Does anyone know how it works? How much it is a month for 1 child? Wouldn't you think someone would tell us about this or is it just me who didn't know Then again it's nothing to do with Income Support or DLA so why would they tell me? If I'm entitled then I'll be pleased all the same, every little helps lol! Sorry it's a bit off topic or mentioned anywhere else on here but tried to do a search but found nothing. Thanks in advance if you want to enlighten me .

Hi all, Many thanks for this.....my application is all filled in now and ready to send off in the morning, fingers crossed as a little treat for Dan will be nice! I've never claimed from them before but should be entitled as Dan is now 12 and been diagnosed since he was 5! We get DLA high Rate Personal Care and Low Rate Mobility and have sent my award letters so just lets hope he'll be entitled. I've put down a computer as we share this one and then day's out if we can manage to get him to go anywhere! He's a typical homebird but is becoming a little more sociable now at last! Been a good help reading others idea's and don't feel too much like i'm begging, I've spent too long being proud so fingers crossed and hopefully not too much of a long wait to hear! Havn't mentioned it to Dan incase it doesn't come off! Best Wishes, Love Rach x .

Hi Claire, Been reading all your posts and they could be my own! My Dan's back tomorrow after the break, it's nice to have them off school but hell on when they go back! My Dan's also age 12 and in yr 7 mainstream secondary, the gap is widening also.... He's got a full time (band 2) SEN, he has 2 T.A's that are brill which have helped a lot as well as him starting Risperdone (half dose) The other week a lad said to him "Dan, how come Miss comes into lessons with you all the time?" a question I knew was bound to be asked but was very surprized when Dan said casually... it's because I have Asperger's! It is heartbreaking watching our kid's grow up and struggle along seeming unhappy, I over the years have wanted to have his pain so he can be happy (sob sob) I've gotta say, things are getting better though. Incidentally my X Hubby is very firm with Dan, it doesn't help the situation and he doesn't realize that Dan resents him but at times I must confess if he doesn't tow the line i'll ring his Dad, so it does have it's plus points. This hasn't helped Claire but just wanted to let you know that I Truely understand where your coming from and to be honest, your bound to be stressed out as your not only trying to keep your son happy but your DH too! (Not an easy task!) Sending huge hug's Claire, Rach x

Hi, Many Congrats to you Hope all goes well and you enjoy your new job. Well done mate, Best Wishes Rach x

Hi, Chriss, I couldn't agree with you more. I felt annoyed while watching just how this programme has been made to look to others. There will be so many people already judging this woman and her family and in my opinion by showing this programme, it'll only make their problems worse. Surely, there must be a medical problem why her son is so hungry all the time - it must be difficult all the same but I don't think taking him to care (hope it doesn't happen) would help him psychologically. Only last week I watched a programme on annorexia, about kids going into a boarding house to make them eat, now this, this week. It seems we can't be fat, we can't be thin, we must all be normal, whayever normal is!!! I do understand that this boy and his family need help but it's not going to be easy either for her or her son. I can hear people now judging her, laying in bed with a fag on I genuinely feel sorry for her and hope they get some useful help. As I alway's say, understanding from others goes along way. CBT would be VERY useful. I cringed watching and wish I hadn't watched it now coz I probably won't be able to get if off my mind now. This sounds selfish of me but I take on everyone's problems as if they are my own and instantly want to help them. Sorry for the rant..... Best Wishes, Rach

Hi Jomica, My son is in his 1st year at secondary school year 7 (mainstream) I didn't think for one minite he'd settle and cope & was so uptight about even looking at schools for him it was a nightmare. I looked round about 8 schools, I chose to visit during school hours as it's best to go and see how things run. I asked how many A.S chilren inparticular (if any) they already have in their school and how they seem to manage. I asked what training in ASD's the teachers aides have had (if any!). I asked about break/lunch times - as my son can't cope out in the playground too well. I asked how many Teachers Aides would be allocated to my son for his 27 hours per week (statement) Most of all, I went with my heart and feelings of the school and staff. I wasn't bothered about academically as such because that didn't bother me as much as his happiness. I made my desicion and thankfully it's been just perfect He has 2 different aides, they are very aware of his problems and can tell already when things might get too much for him and they treat him so well, they genuinely care about him and although I didn't think he'd cope in "Big" school he's doing well. I knew when I questioned the special needs heads of these schools, who knew what, the school I chose seemed to know authors of books i'd read (my personal favourite then i know they at least understand A.S) and they didn't seem to have to do everything by the book...e.g. he goes into the special needs room at break and lunch times with a friend, he is not made to do things he has problems with, he hasn't done P.E yet since he started in September although he likes Drama!!! Just ask as many questions as you like, if they are patient and don't rush you, you can sum them up quite well, although i must admit that some things different schools said sounded too good to be true but the school I chose for Dan was the best both for him & me. Good Luck, it's not as daunting as I thought and I dragged my heels even going to look at schools, i'd given up before i'd even started!!! Hope you find what your looking for. Love & Best Wishes, Rach x

<'> My 11 year old is so particular with stuff and yet his bedroom is an absolute disgrace/bombsite too!! I went up to start on it yesterday, didn't know where to start so managed 10 mins in their and left it I can't keep putting it off so will maybe do it next week when he's back at school. His tidying up means, mucky socks & undies slung behind his computer desk, coathangers everywhere, wrestling figures by the 100 here there and everywhere, then.... the dreaded c.d's, dvd's & ps, xbox, gameboy games/discs not in their boxes This is the biggest thing in our house that has to change but never does....he say's he tries but he just can't help it!!! I don't mind as it is his space but when I do set about to clean it.....i wanna run away. Doesn't help me having ADD, (without the hyperactivity) as I get bored real quick and alway's leave stuff before it's done......never mind we'll get there in the end I guess. So yes, I appreciate you saying about the Bomb disposal send them here when they've done at yours

I would reccomend this book to everyone! The stories are short essay's but each one really get's the point across and are a brilliant read. Would be good to also lend to Grandparents and other family members who are needing to be a bit more educated! I got this book to add to my collection as a gift and what a great, appreciated gift this was...Thanks mum!!!

Hi, Well that really is frustrating..... so what's supposed to happen now? Have you already seen a psychiatrist before this psychologist? (sorry to ask I am not up todate with your posts) I spent years being sent here, there and everywhere and finally I got a diagnosis (adult ADD) but ended up paying lots of money as I had had enough and went private. The NHS were so unhelpful & all they did was made me ill with all the stress, frustration and wasted energy! (My website tells the story if you want to neb!) I'm sorry I can only sympathise with you, have you got any appointments coming up with anyone else? Kind Regards, Best Wishes, Rach

Hi Hev, That's great new's for you. Is it a befriender or something? Dan has someone every now and again when he wants to go, he's a volunteer but gets paid petrol money (barnardo's I think) He takes Dan to a trampolining session, I give him 5.00 for Dan's trampoline session though but Dan enjoy's going. For you Hev it's a bit of a break, for Steve, it'll be a chance for him to go out and feel that bit special as he has someone for him! Dan used to get mad as I'd chat to his befriender during Dan's time, he'd say "Hey mum do you mind please - this is my time!" Good Luck to you both, Best Wishes Rach x

Yes my other half say's I pick up on thing's all the time and as much as he hates it.... I'm usually right I wonder if Ian has ever been dx'd or looked into Touettes? (Soory to all you who aren't struck on BB!) I'm really hoping that he comes a close 2nd to Jermaine in the final as I think they are both really decent, genuine kind hearted blokes, along with Shilpa - the others can thrash their losing places out I hope! Never mind it's all nearly over now!!!!

Hi Debbie, Wow, I read your book and am so proud of you and so pleased you got it published - It was a pleasant read although it had me in tears in places! You are such a strong, delightful person and hope you carry on achieving in all you set out to do - Thanks for the read and well done - Hope Lulu sell lots more copy's Debbie, Best Wishes Rach xxx

Hi not sure about Dirk but agree socially he feels awkward. Just another question if i may....... Noticed H (Ian) has facial tic's and a clearing of the throat...poss tourettes? I watch live feed and since I first noticed a few weeks ago it stands out sooo much.

Hi, I'm an adult with ADD and take Ritalin, I have heard so many people complain that Adderal helps some of their ADD traits but have lost their creativity. Could your doc maybe suggest a different medication for you to try. My son Dan has Aperger's and takes a small dose of Risperdol and he's coming on in leaps and bounds - Maybe worth having a chat with your Doc Best Wishes Rach

Oh that's brilliant - so glad you tried it and it worked better Glad I was of some help - hope you catch up soon with your own rest - it certainly takes it out of us in time! I was in the same boat as you I hadn't established my own sleep pattern over the years because of all this with Dan - I used to be up and out of bed 11-12 times per night sent me loopy!!! Melatonin was and still is a god send