witsend

Hi Mel - the remote Scottish island thing made me smile it is what I have said so often! I didn't realise other people were busy fantasising about it too! Do you think that means if we took ourselves off it actually wouldn't be remote at all but densly populated with worn out society weary 'ASD' families? Sounds like you've been through the education mill too - do you think we should start a school on the island or just give it up as bad job? Luv Witsend.

Hi thanks for the replies. First it was me not the LEA who pushed for a special school as at that time I thought it was the right thing to do, however it was all a last minute thing arising from comments some educationalists (head teacher, Ed Psych) had made and I think I panicked a bit and was not given much clear info about our options early enough. At the last review meeting when trying to decide the best school for my son to go to nearly evry professional in there had a differing opinion none of it was helpful . I still think a special school may well be the best option for my son but sadly there are none appropriate in our area. The special school he goes to now is an hours taxi drive each way as it is. Unfortunately I have found out some things about the school which are very worrying, that in itself is all a long story but they are serious concerns and these coupled with how miserable my son is there have made me reach the descision that he can't remain there. Belive me I have already reflected long and hard on the situation, and it seems mainstream with support is the only option available now (eithe that or home ed ) Simon I have nothing against special schools but this one are just not doing what they are supposed to and worse than that they are covering it up. Just thought I'd give a bit of background as I know most of us are fighting to get our kids into special ed not out of it and I must sound like a crazy person Cheers - Luv Witsend.

Hi Kathryn - nice to hear from you and thanks for that, Luv Witsend.

Hi again - posted the other day about 'changing schools' issue, bit of an update here hot off the press and a question. Got in from work today to find LEA chap had left an ansaphone message, saying he had spoken to the school and the best thing would be for us to have a meeting soon - all well and good - but then he went on to say they are in the process of issuing a proposed statement following the last review meeting we had and that this statement of course says sons needs best met in a special school. Obviously now I'm wanting him to go to mainstream so am a bit worried about the implications. Chap said in his message that we need to look at it (the statement) and see if it needs 'tweaking'! So now am sat here wondering what that means. Do you think he means they will alter it to fit in with us wanting him to go to mainstream or is he saying becaue the statement is as it is they are going to argue to keep him where he is? What do you think? Also as it is a proposed statement am I correct in remembering I will get chance to query it/disagree with it before it becomes fully fledged if you know what I mean? Luv Witsend.

You are not guilty of snippiness! Luv Witsend.

Well LEA guy rang back, took me by surprise caught me off guard at 5.30! Said could have review ? early next year but said may be awkward to change schools so early on and he will have to talk to ed psych involved! This worries me 'cos frankly from the last meeting we had with him he was less than supportive! Also obviously has to talk to school again although I know he has to I think school will strongly advise against son moving. Just sat here thinking here we go again really. Still on the positive side he said encouraging things about the mainstream school I'm proposing. Anyway said he'll contact me next week - so watch this space I guess. Luv Witsend.

Fabulous! Like winning the lottery? Luv Witsend.

Hi, don't know if it's getting easier, guess it will vary according to area. But can say that I had to fight long and hard to get eldest sons statement, from him practically starting school until he finally got it around the age of 9!! Yet my yougest son who has just started school and has some difficulties (attention deficit type I think) has immediately had involvement from Senco team and statementing has already been at least mentioned by them first! Have to say I'm a bit astounded but pleased, seems in this area at least things may be changing. Have to smile when I remember my eldest sons headmaster (who was dreadful) telling me very pompously there was no point even asking for a statement because they would be phased out within the next few months - that was about 6 years ago!! Luv Witsend.

Again sorry don't have much advice, but feel for you <'> I think lots of us have been at this point and it is so hard to cope with it all. Like Oxgirl said do you think there is some reason for your son being so stressed right now? It is difficult to think straight when you're caught in the middle of it all, would school or family have any idea why he might be so stressed at the mo? Is there any way you can get some respite away from him, even for a short time? (That sounds a bit awful, it's not meant to) but sometimes to begin breaking the cycle you need time out from it, am sure you thought of that already though and if it were poss you'd of done it right? Sorry not being much help, really do hope things can get better for you soon. Luv Witsend.

Not surprised you're feeling down. <'> . Luv Witsend.

Thanks all of you for the advice, you have boosted my confidence which i needed . I have rung the mainstream school today couldn't speak to the SENCO but can do so on Thurs, but the person I spoke to told me they do have places at the school in yr 7 and they also have other kids with probs similar to mine . Also the recent ofsted report for this school is favuorable for the SENCO provision. Rang the LEA next but obviously the guy I need to speak to not there was supposed to ring me back but obviously he hasn't! Just feel so much better though now I've started the ball rolling. Luv Witsend.

Thanks loulou, as far as I know the next review meeting is due in the summer - no one has told me otherwise. Son has been at this school 2 months now, so am hoping we can get a review before Christmas under the circumstances. I live in hope anyway! Luv Witsend.

Hi Jill, all I can say is my son never had major problems at primary school either and he gets DLA, I don't think it is dependant on school advice only, Good Luck - Luv Witsend.

Hi Kazz, don't know if the mainstream will accept him but would imagine they will if they have a place . It was us not LEA who argued for a special school in the first place so I'm hoping they will agree to it, but obviously nothing has really changed for my son from an academic viewpoint so I can see a big inquisition ahead on that score. Surely they can't insist my son stays at a school where he is miserable and where he is not learning can they? I'm so fed up with it all just feel like keeping him at home where he is safe, and if he can't change schools soon than I'm afraid that is whats going to happen. Anyway guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens tomorrow. Luv Witsend.

Hi - posted a couple of weeks or so ago about my son hating his new (special) high school, never got much chance to post again until now, things have been pretty dreadful! To cut a pretty long story short I have decided to that this school is not right for my son. Though recent communications with the staff at the school and a chat with a fellow parent whoise child attends the school I have basically found out some stuff which really concerns me about the school and this coupled with how genuinely unhappy my son is have helped me make my mind up that I need to get him out of there fast. So tomorrow I will have to ring LEA. Wonder if anyone can advise me hear? Do we have to have e review meeting before I take my son out of the school, I'm just concerned as to how long they may take to set this up. Also do you think the LEA are going to be really awkward about it all after I made a massive fuss to get son into this school in the first place, or do you think they'll be OK with it 'cos it means they don't have to pay the special school fees anymore? (cynical I know ) My son is desperate to attend mainstream high school and after much angst and consideration I want him to be given the chance to do this, I know the school he is at now are going to say this isn't a good idea (well what they have said so far is that it would be a disaster!) but I have good reason to beleive they have their own agenda here. Trouble is are the LEA more likely to listen to their views rather than mine? I know none of you have a crystal ball here, but would appreciate your thoughts on this situation before as I prepare for batlle (yet again). Thanks - Luv Witsend.

Hi just wanted to say a quick thanks for the replies - can't stay have to go and bath little one, but hopefully will get to post again later. Luv Witsend.

Hi - as some of you prob know, I spent an agonising time during this summer trying to find the right high school for my son (11yrs old AS). That's all a bit of a long storyI won't go back over now, but basically at eleventh hour I found what I thought was a suitable special school for my son and then had to battle like hell witrh the LEA to get him in there. I was so pleased when they agreed to send him, I was walking on air for a while! I did anticipate the usual 'settling in' adjusting to the change type problems and sure enough I got them! But the thing is my son is still vehemently insisting he hates this school! He never stops going on about how awful it is and it's really wearing me down now. He says the other kids are horrible to him, they all shout and swear and constantly disrupt lessons, the work is too easy etc etc.... I did go in to the school for a chat and his teacher who is lovely reassured me that my son is doing very well, that he is well liked and that he seems to be far from miserable when he is actually at school. Now I know that obviously that other kids at the school have their own 'problems' but what worries me is that this schools OFSTED report did highlight bad behaviour and poor management of it as a problem bt as the report is quite old and to be honest for lack of any alternative I hoped that it woldn,t be so bad in reality. Plus I don't know if my son is exaggerating things in the hope I'll take him out of this school. The other thing of course is that whilst my so is quick to point out everyone elses bad behaviour at this school at the mainstream school he was at previously he remained oblivious to his own! But his behviour isn't the shouting swearing kind like he says the other kids is, so maybe he doesn't fit in there? I don't know wnymore am really confused and down about it, I can see the day coming when he just refuses to go. I have told him that he has to stick it out until his next review (summer next year) and then we will consider transffering him to mainstream, he say this is really really what he wants. Actually dread the thought of telling LEA I've got it wrong after having to battle them to get him in in the first place and don't honestly know if he could cope in mainstream. Can't keep changing schools forever!! Dread him going back to school tomorrow 'cos don't know what he'll be like when he gets in, in between moans he has had meltdowns saying that he wants to die he hates it so much and to top it all he noiw refuses to go to CAMHS thought ot be honest I don't think that ever made too much differance. Do you think I should take what he's saying with a pinch of salt or do you think he is genuinely unhappy? Maybe I'm over reacting because he has only been at this school a since September, but at the moment I don't see it getting any better. Any advice appreciated, Thanks. Luv Witsend.

Hev - <'> - hope it gets a bit better soon. Love Witsend.

Hi - just wanted to say in my experiance the paeds opinion/report can make all the differance. At the various school/LEA meeting we've been to over the years I've always got the impression that the paed kind of overrules everyone else, if you have them saying the right things then you're on to a winner! Good Luck Luv Witsend.

Hi claire - and welcome Luv Witsend.

Hi and thanks for the replies - went to parents evening tonight and asked about the homework, the teacher said all the kids in her class get that much. She recommends they spend about an hour on homework then if they want to do more if there's more to do fine if not then that's also fine. So that's that sorted, always a relief when it works out that simply eh? Luv Witsend.

Hi - my son started high school this sept. It is an independant special school and there are allsorts of things I will prob need to post about to do with this, but for now just wanted to run this by you, before I go to parents evening tommorow night and say my piece! Thing is he gets loads of homework, well I think it's loads. It's usually 20 spellings, 3 chapters of reading (goosebumps books), 3 sheets of maths (each with 20 questions), and a couple of pages of writing (literacy)! It is a total nightmare sort of low key misery punctuated with volatile outbursts for over an hour every night! I can't give younger son any time due to doing the homeworjk with older son, there's no way he could or would tackle it alone! And despite my best efforts I end up getting really fed up frustrated and angry with sons lack of effort which of course is counter productive and makes the whole thing take longer anyway. My son said he'd asked for more homework to proove he's not stupid!! But I'm not sure if this is true. Because the school is miles away and he travels there by taxi I don't get to see the teacher daily, but it is parents evening tomorrow and I just wanted to see if anyone else thinks this is a lot or wether it is normal homework amount for an 11 yr old? Thanks Witsend.

Aah, thanks guys it's good to be back! Going to read some posts and catch up on all your news now. Luv Witsend.

Hi everyone, been so long since I've been on the site don't knoiw if anyone will know who I am anymore! Have had a mega busy time, with new partner moving in with us and then not had a computer for ages. Am now up and running with new PC and broadband. Have really missed this site for all the advice and hearing about what is happening in all your lives. My 11 year old AS son has finally started at a special high school now, if anyone remembers the ordeal we went through before summer deciding the best school. Getting him into this school was a massive battle and now he's there guess what...he hates it! Will no doubt be posting more abou this one now I'm back online. Hope others are having a better time with schools (though I'm guessing I'm not alone here with the problems!) Anyway look forward to joining in the forum more again now Luv Witsend.

Hi Hev, have come to this really late, been having 'time out'. Just want to say hope your OK, I know everyone is worried bout you, let us know. Luv Witsend.