Hectorshouse

Very good Simon.

... oh one thing for sure ... we ARE OPEN MINDED ... are you?

Hi Lindap and welcome, but I'm not sure about your comments though, these are in themselves a broad and sweeping generalisation. AS is not VERY VERY mild, and this kind of comment is very unecessary, next you'll be telling us that we are over reacting, or our children are just being truculent or manipulative, or worse still its due to poor parenting. I have AS, and no I don't know everything about it, I know how it affects me. My son has AS and a range of comorbids to go with it, and trust me there is nothing 'mild' about my son! Also, there is no competition here about whether your child is high or low functioning, for every parent the spectrum is different and we all live with it in different ways. I have friends and who have children at the other end of the spectrum with no speach etc ... and I know how hard life is for them, just a word or maybe even a touch would make their day, year or even lifetime. No it does not compare I agree, but we all live with autism in all the various guises it presents itself. And whilst you are entitled to your present your observations, please remember that some parents on here might find your comments rather distressing, there is nothing 'mild' about what our children have to go through, and no they won't grow out of it or get over it. HH

Excellent idea Simon ..and we're here to help you through when you have an answer to that. Nvapid camhs = child and adult mental health service. HHxx

ceecee .... awwww nativity plays ... seems like eons ago now. A the NT one (but dubious as he's 15) never liked dressing up for things like this, T however .... always has and still does, usually ends up like some kind of odd looking fairy, or princess ... a little bit camp my little boy, and actually likes it when cousins (the female ones) come around or we visit them and they dress him up, I've had some very bizarre visions of him before now .. but hey he liked it and was happy, he still likes to put on my nail varnish given half a chance, and I have the most gorgeous pictures of him as an angel when he was at toddler group .... awwww gone all goey at the memories. HHxx

I loved that ... what I fab saying and so apt. Paula you are very definitely not alone, looks like you stumbled into the best place here at Krism. I know what you mean, its not like its something you can really talk about with other mums they just look at you as if your mad or daft ... but a day in our world is totally different. Carole you have just given me hope as well, T is still wearing the same pj's to bed he's had since he was 7 will not wear anything else and boy they must be so uncomfortable now, and as for the shoe thing, I have finally managed to ditch his sandals from 3 years ago ... his toes were literally hanging out and he will insist on wearing them WITH socks (no sense of style for my little angel) that all his socks had holes in the toes, and yes I have found him bed with them on ... Oh our lives are truly barking .... isn't it fab! HHxx

Hi Jools I was just re-reading this thread and noticed in your last post that G was on school action+ but not getting any support .... something is very definitely not right here, at school action+ he should be getting quite a bit of support ... The COP details school action+ in the primary phase 5:54 to 5:61, it might be worth referring to this and making sure that the school are complying. Definitely start the process yourself towards stat assessment, because if the school wait till they have all the reports you will still only be at the first stage, this seems like a delaying tactic to me. It must be difficult for you because you work in the school, but you can always play devils advocate here, they cannot give you grief about doing it either and if they do you can contact your union. HHxx

I've had people say this to me as well, for a lot of our AS children this kind of problem doesn't seem to bother them, T would and still does come home from school smelling rather interesting (I have pity for the other 5 boys in the Taxi, they're ASD as well so it must impact on their sensory issues) and then have to head him in the direction of the shower. I still at times have to get in there and do the wiping and T has only just become more compitent, he never used to mind going infact he would be in there for some considerable time, taking numerous books to look at and toys to play with, its just the other side of it. OK and on a rather embarressing note, when I was younger I never really had any bladder control, and it didn't really bother me, HH going very red now ... awful memories of child hood coming back. I have had IBS pretty much all my life as well, and this caused some very embaressing moments when I was at school ... I wish there was something I could offer that was really constructive. The only thing I can suggest is perhaps using social stories and a reward scheme (although reward schemes don't always work with our children) but making it a really positive issue and ignoring all the other bits. I used to get cross sometimes with T and this just made him more reliant on me to do it (awful parent that I am .. but it does get a bit frustrating) ... ok rambling now ... HHxx

Llaverty ... what a lovely family you have. HHxx

LKS cannot believe what I read ... you are absolutely right to be offended by what was written, this extremely unproffesional, I came across similar things in T's file when I got copies of his records, it just goes to show the hypocrisy (sp?) and double standards that exist in many of our schools. And some people think that us parents are wrong to be cynical about schools/LEA's/professionals etc .. I think not, the result is I never fully trust anyone now wtih regard to T's education and make sure I have everything in black and white, copied and filed. You have done the right thing, and a complaint is definitely the right thing to do here. HHxx

Tez have been there as well, its not quite so easy in public toilets though, thats if I can T into one, and he wouldn't dream of going in the ladies either cos he's a boy!! When T's at home often he has a shower directly after he has had a pooh, that seemed to help a bit, but you can't take a shower everywhere with you either ... bless our children, life is never dull is it HHxx

Bit late to this thread as well, and a bit scared from an earlier post so kept away. Glad its back on topic now. I have always worked in way or another, never been able to be a complete stay at home mom, it drove me mad initially after A was born and having PND didn't help, work helped me have an escape. After T was born my late husband and I ran our own business for 5 years and did very very well, after he died however I went bankrupt and homeless and unemployed it was a BIG turning point. After that came T's DX, and even bigger turning point. In 2000 I went back to college as a mature (allegedly) student to do the A Levels I never got around to doing when I was younger, after 3 years of studying I had 3 very good A Levels (pat on back for the old git herself) and a diploma in Fine Art. I went on to University to study for a BA in English and Media studies but had to give up after a year because of all the problems T was having in school. Throughout this I have worked on and off as a barmaid, chambermaid, shop assistant and now back to barmaiding. Its not a career and I miss having the goal of studying, but I do enjoy what I do, it gets me out of the house and I get paid to socialise and the tax credits are a god send. Saying all of this though, there still isn't enough of me to go around, T's needs are obviously always there, A has his problems and the long suffering partner often feels neglected. I used to have quite a wide circle of friends but not anymore, I have just had to sit back and only do what I feel able to do, and unfortunately I can't make everyone happy all of the time, sometimes I do feel as if I forget about me, but this is often the case with us parents, we always seem to put ourselves last. HHxx

Hi Paula and welcome aboard. I have a son that is 12 with AS, we've never had a toilet paper fear, but T has always had extremely bad personal hygiene and needs help with this particlar aspect of his life ... lucky old mum me, always get the best jobs Tricky one this and it seems you have done a lot to try and work out the reasons behind his phobia, all of which I would've suggested as well. For T it is just a lack of awareness to his hygiene, but for your son it be many things and that may have turned it into a trigger zone, it could be the texture, smell, all sorts. Sorry not been much help here, but I'm sure someone will be along with better advice than me. HHxx

... keep trying to ignore this thread ... 37 degrees .... wish I was there, central heating not working properly here, freezing outside, everyone sitting under blankets in the living room ... the only one who doesn't seem to notice the cold is T, thanks to that good old AS thermostat. ... HH shuffling off to refill my hot water bottle.

Fi I don't know about this one .. have you got a Social Worker? they might be able to help, perhaps a chat with your GP might be able to throw some light on things available as well. You are quite right to be concerned about this, A had a terrible time being T's big brov for years, he got bullied because of him and went into a period of denial about his brov's disability and found his behaviours extremely hard to come to terms with. A is now a fantastic big brov, I couldn't do many of things I do now (work especially) if it wasn't for A, T absolutely hero worships A now, and A has always been a very tolerant boy is now even more so, and has soo much empathy for T and children like him, which is a very big thing for a 15 year old boy. HHxx

<'> <'> <'> <'> Mel it is definitely your ex's loss, although I know that doesn't help you with getting you a break. I'm pretty sure that being a parent didn't include exceptions or conditions to taking responsibility for our off-spring. Definitely get some help for you, you really need clarification of DX to help you access services that could help, and also then you wave these directly under ex's nose and hand him a copy of Tony Attwoods book. Ignorance breeds abuse, your son is very lucky to have you, its such a shame that you ex can't see beyond what must be irritating and annoying to what actually is his son. Love of our children NT or otherwise isn't conditional. Also a big to Lisa's Hubbie ... good to have you on board as well. HHxx

Neda we went through this as well T was only dx'd when he was 9 - 10, before that it was all my fault etc ... The Every Child Matters mantra of the moment, bangs on about early intervention, the DfES COP goes on about it as well, I think the EP needs reminding of this. The fact that the nursery are considering deferring his entry into school because of they can obviously see is SEN then this really needs to be brought home to the LEA and to a Peaditrician or Child Psychiatrist. Putting him back a year and just waiting and see what will happen isn't good enough. You both deserve more than this. HHxx

I applied in October and gave them a call on Monday to see what was happening, and was told that it may take up to 6 months for an initial claim Oh Well .... HHxx

Smileymad .. go get 'em girl. The awkward squad we might be, but we know what we're doing. Still makes you want to wring their necks though doesn't it ... I hope that the teaching staff have a change of attitude very very quickly. HHxx

Neda I'm sorry your finding it tough, it looks like your EP is a bit of a wet fish here. I think you need to sit down with nursery and go through exactly what they think he needs, ask them exactly what they have had from EP and get copies. Also ask nursery for copies of anything that they have written down about your son, this EP doesn't sound that interested, I would be tempted to go to your GP raise your concerns with him and insist on a referral to a Peaditrician (sp?) & CAMHS ... Without being toooo cynical here, the EP works for the LEA, if he identifies ASD then that would mean a significant increase in the amount of ��� that would have to be allocated. Unfortunately the EP has an agenda, and it is not always the same as yours the parent. HHxx

Lauren <'> <'> I hope your feeling better today, you did tremendously well yesterday don't be hard on yourself. We're here to support you HHxx

On my blog there is a story by T about Frank the Flying Rabbit ... HHxx

Phas ... well done as ever eloquent and absolutely right, this is not a thread about a debate on LEA's etc ... this is a thread about Jaden and the support he has been offered. The purpose of this forum is to support and inform, so Jadensmum, we are here to help you if you want it, don't feel intimidated by the process or the professionals. HHxx Good Luck.

OK I'm intrigued .... ASD or ASC .... let us know Z HHxx

Clear as crystal Phas I was reading this thread and about to post the same thing as Phas when I read about the other child with CP ... Jadensmum, it quite simply isn't anything to do with you and was a breach of confidentiality by the Inclusion Support. I would go ahead with the statementing process yourself, early intervention is meant to be the way forward according to the COP and 'Every Child Matters', you don't have to ask the SENCO to do this you can start this process yourself, if you wait for the SENCO you might end up waiting a long time. No county likes statementing it will cost them money! slt - thanks for reminding us that the world isn't perfect ... we all know there are budget limitations that is exactly what we fight so hard about, the needs of the child are what is meant to be considered not the needs of the LEA's budgets. The fact that the inclusion officer had to 'bid' for the support of SEN children says it all! HHxx