Crying my eyes out

[BusyLizzie100]

The tears literally just keep appearing and running down my face, even as I type!

 

Had horrible, horrible, horrible experience in the GP's waiting room, of all places. Just taking DS2 to check his 'tummy ache' that he's had for weeks (being tested for coeliac disease...) and had the other two with me - it was the only time I could arrange an appt that meant not dragging him out of school AGAIN. We had to wait over half an hour, with the boys going slightly nuts and particularly DS3 going absolutely wild - no doubts that he has ADHD now.

 

We had the whole waiting room to ourselves but because they were being pretty noisy (interacting with each other! Hurrah!) I was trying to keep a lid on things, when this old biddy from the waiting room next door came in and did the 'can't you control your children' thing. I was actually really struggling at that point, so gave as good as I got... thanked her for her insight into autism... things escalated... she said I was the one with the problem, the kids seemed fine... I said their problem is people like you... you don't know me, she said... well, you don't know my kids, but seeing as you're such an expert on autism, come and join us in the doctor's surgery and see how you can help us... other bloke in the waiting room actually stood up for me and said he had two boys, which can get pretty noisy, so no wonder three are hard to handle.... I've got four, says old biddy... well, congratulations, says I...

 

By now doors are opening and we're attracting a fair bit of attention... stand-up row by this point... doctors materialise to calm it down while I'm sobbing my heart out... I turn round to face the doc who's known us all for years, saying we get absolutely no support, nothing; no one helps us with anything and we have to put up and deal with everything ourselves... by this time I'm a quivering, sobbing wreck and doc ushers me into room with kids obviously v upset too... can't talk for the sobbing... DS2 has to explain his tummy ache himself (did quite well, bless him!)

 

Doc made an appt to see me alone another time, obviously having the three of them climbing the walls in her surgery wasn't conducive to finding out what's going on... meanwhile DS3 is climbing up and down on examination bed, jumping off it, bashing all the lights, throwing all the toys and equipment... can I get a referral for him, while I'm here???!!!!

 

Managed to herd the kids home, sobbing all the way, don't know how I managed to drive home. As I left the surgery the bloke from the waiting room held the door open for us and asked if I was OK - bless him - No! I managed to squawk.

 

Oh, I feel so horrid! I just can't stop crying. I thought anti-depressants and counselling was supposed to help all this!!!! I just want to lock the door and never see the world again.

 

And the worst thing? I've only got one glass of wine in the house - not enough!!

 

Lizzie That's me, exactly!

[marshmallow]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

[Bagpuss]

Lizzie, that is an awful thing to experience There is always someone who feels the need to pass on their pearls of wisdom isn't there, to help us improve our parenting skills Hope the appt with GP by yourself is helpful, and take care <'> <'>

[rach04]

<'> >< <'> >< <'> ><

[Flora]

oh Lizzie <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

What a trully gruelling experience.... I have had a similar experience a few years back...

 

Take some calming breaths and make a nice cuppa. Sounds terrible, but in a way it's 'good' that your GP has witnessed at first hand how hard things are.

 

Flora <'>

[smiley]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Sounds like a truly sh*tty day ......... <'> <'>

[jlp]

I feel like crying on your behalf.

 

What a witch! Honestly! Where did she come from - was she a patient or staff?

 

Just when you feel that you're doing ok someone like that comes along and upsets the apple cart.

 

I haven't got any advice (I bet you're thinking of loads of cutting comments now!) but lots of sympathy and empathy.

[lynda4]

Aaaaaw Lizzie <'> what a horribe thing to happen, you poor kid. Cry your eyes out girl and you'll feel better for it, you need that release now and again. I know it always does me good after a build up of tension, though you don't think it at the time. Reading your post I felt I was right there experiencing it with you, been there done that, sort of thing and its nearly always little old ladies! Put it down to aging brains, they can't remember what their own kids were like, let alone understand anything 'new'. What I can say though, on a positive note is that you really stuck up for yourself, good for you! I'd have just been a blubbering wreck and wished afterwards that I'd said something back. Also, it often does the professionals good to see life as it really is for us. It can give them a jolt to realise how hard the kids are and what kind of state it puts you in too. I reckon you'll probably get some sort of action, like a referral much quicker after today.

 

Hang on in there, you had a difficult sitiuation and stood your ground, standing up for your kids and yourself. Though I'm sure it didn't feel like it at the time, it shows you have some fight left in you and its a lot more positive than just collapsing in tears and giving up. I wouldn't recommend you do this on a regular basis, but you're allowed a blow-out every now and again, you're only human.

 

Hope your ds2's tummy ache gets better soon

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

ooooh silly old moo

how dare she!!!!

huge <'> for u tho

xxx

[bid]

Oh, hun <'>

 

Bidx

[Bambi]

Awww hun i really do feel it for ya, ur post has brought a tear to my eye <'> >< <'> >< <'>

 

Try to relax this evening (i know!) and please do try to get some more wine i think u need it! <'> ><

 

Take care.

 

Bambi x

[Kathryn]

Lizzie,

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Horrible situation, I hope the weekend is better and you manage to get some wine in tomorrow. You can't reason with people like that but well done for standing your ground. She may think twice about telling a random stranger off next time!

 

K x

[barefoot wend]

Lizzie

 

You were in a horrid situation and reacted accordingly.

 

Whenever I feel like this I repeat the mantra that it will all mean nothing next week - time works.

 

Keep your chin up - we're all with you.

 

Barefoot

[witsend]

Oh Lizzie I totally empathise with you I've had similar (but not as bad) experiance in the past in DR's waiting rooms, thinking back I just think at least the GP actually sees it how it is for us but I know that's not much comfort. I hate waiting anywhere with the kids and now avoid it at all costs wherever possible. i had a very horrible stressfull time with yougest son today too at his eye appointment I was in tears by the time I got to the car and I know if anyone nosy parker had intervened on the way I would have flipped totally!

Hang in there tomorrow will be better .

And why does no one run a deliver to your door wine service for stessed out parents who cant leave the house once kids are in bed??

Take care Luv Witsend.

[pearl]

<'> Lizzie <'>

heres some more wine for you.

[loulou]

<'> <'>

 

Poor you. I'm not surprised your boys started playing up, half an hour is way too long to expect them to wait . I've had similar experiences in waiting rooms too and i feel like an emotional wreck afterwards. It usually seems better by the next day though <'> .

 

Good for you for standing up to that old bag, hopefully she tripped over on her way home .

 

Hope you are feeling a bit better now, do you have any chocolate to go with that wine? Maybe a soak in the bath too?

 

Sending lots of <'> <'> ,

 

Loulou xx

[pim]

Hi,

 

Poor you. I've been in a very similar situation with my 3 at the dotors. (sorry one of my letters, after B on the keyboard is not working).

DS got stressed after a 20 min wait. I had to restrain him. This made him ten times worse. I had to as he was throwing toys and hitting out. Eldest DD was getting upset and almost in tears to see DS like that and wondering if it was her fault. Youngest DD was a handful, trying to run off. Every-one in the waiting room saw Ds in a meltdown. I dragged him to the front desk to try and bring our appointment forward. On the way he hit an old lady, who gave us a filthy stare. I don't blame her. The reeptionist trying to talk to our dotor was unable to hear above DS shouts. Our appointment was bought forward and by then DS was his usual self as if nothing had happened. But I was almost in tears and all the awful stares I got saying why don't you manage your kids better. It was so stressful that I vowed never to go to the dotors with my 3 on my own ever again.

 

I refuse to go out with my 3 on my own unless it's to a friends or family house. Fortunately so far I haven't had to. But I know exatly how you must have felt.

 

pim

[elun1]

<'> <'> <'> Poor u what a horrible day - what a horrible ignorant woman. Some people can be so cruel. Only the other day I was out with my 2, ds2 aged 6 was in major buggy and an old man told me 'Mind you don't scratch the cars with that thing' Cheeky g*t. Mind you on the same day 2 teenagers independent of each other helped me on and off train with buggy. You definitely need more wine tho. Take care

Love Elun xxx

[caren]

<'> <'> <'>

[lynyona]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

 

 

lynn

[BusyLizzie100]

Thanks all for your lovely replies. Feeling a bit calmer and a bit better now, although still a little bit .

 

to be honest I feel a bit zonked out by the whole thing - I don't know where all my tears came from. i suppose I was a bit like a volcano of tears - once I started erupting I couldn't stop! And yes, I can think of all sorts of wise and cutting things that I could have said at the time, but too late now. I'm just glad I didn't swear my head off, which shows I was quite in control in that respect. It was just the tears that did me in!

 

anyway I had my glass of wine - could have done with a brandy, really! and I'm off to bed now. Well, off to join the boys in my bed by the sounds of things; I think they need lots of reassurance too after my outburst.

 

thanks all for being there. Night night. xx

[Bagpuss]

Hope you manage to get a good nights sleep Lizzie...take care <'> <'> <'>

[Bullet]

<'> <'> <'> BusyLizzie <'> <'> <'> .

[lilibet]

big (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))), I hate it when that happens.

My f-i-l was here last weekend with his new woman who refused to believe that there was anything wrong with Angus, he'll catch up apparently. I politely informed f-i-l to educate the woman, but we'll see.

bw

Elizabeth

[Tally]

Lizzie, what a horrible person that was in the waiting room! I'm not surprised you cried.

 

But I think you did really good, standing up for your children like that. You should be really proud.

[tsmom]

<'> <'> <'> hope you are feeling better

silly old cow,for all her yrs on this earth clearly no-one taught her to keep her nose out of other people business.

[stressedmumto2]

<'> Hope you are feeling a bit better now and well done to you for sticking up for yourself and your children, 30mins is far too long for children like our's to wait. I've had many similar experiences when having to wait and I have to say the doctors surgery is probably the worst because many people have this idea you need to be quiet in a gp surgery which for us already makes us anxious, our children quiet, lol

 

I wont tell you about my experiences but occasionally when I look back I do laugh about them, although at the time I would be like you were, crying my eyes out.

 

In my surgery now I always ask for a slot when it is going to be quiet and my gp is really good about helping sort this out. I think after many bad times they have realised it's better idea all around to get me in and out as quickly as possible.

 

Take care, things like this make us stronger, we don't realise it at the time but they definatly do <'>

[oxgirl]

How are you feeling today, BusyLizzie? <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[BusyLizzie100]

Thanks again for all your replies. <'> You're all lovely.

 

I finally stopped sobbing some time on Saturday. My lovely DS1 has suggested that next time time something like this happens, I say: "I don't mean to be offensive in any way, but could you please just shut up!" I like it- although I might substitute 'go away' for shut up.

 

And yes, I am the one with the cards to hand out to ignorant people explaining autism, but something must have just clicked in me that day. It was all so much more than just that one woman! I think I had a mini breakdown, to be honest; I've never, ever cried like that before in my life.

 

Any way, life goes on as they say. Thanks again for being there, folks - and I'm not an alky, honest, I just really needed something to calm me down on Friday night! although I do love the idea of a home delivery service for parents who can't get out to the offy becaues of the kids...

 

Lizzie x <'>

[lynda4]

Aaaaw glad you're feeling better Lizzie, I'm sure all that crying did you good as well. I always feel better after a good cry, it releases all the built up tension, wears you out but in the long run you feel better for it.

[hev]

glad you feeling better today,i dont often cry but when i do its like a waterfall i cry for ages,feel drained after but then i feel better,other peoples comments can get to me a lot and afterwards i always think of what i should have said and get annoyed with myself for not saying it!!

 

anyway lovey you got us lot on here <'> <'>