Help with potty training a boy

[V1971]

My son just turned 4 and I am trying to potty train him. We are skipping the potty and going straight to the toilet. He will stand about 2 feet from the toilet and go 'pssss' but won't do anything because he is afraid of the hole in the toilet. 5 mins later he will pee on the floor and cry.

 

Mom of boys, what worked for you? Help!

[llisa32]

Hiya, mine wouldn't stand at all so sitting the only option at first (and still pref 3. years later!)

 

You can buy a childs seat to put on top of the loo so they don't have such a big gap to think they are going to fall into.

 

(Mothercare or somewhere like that might stock them)

 

I would also recomend using a big potty if only for a week or 2...it looks far less threatening, and will at least get him used to not using nappies.

 

Good luck!

 

Oh...and small rewards for everytime he used potty or loo! (sticker etc)

[V1971]

We do have the small ring attached to the seat, he won't sit on it just like he won't sit on the potty.

 

I guess I have to be persistant and hopefully one day it will happen. I just wish he was potty trained before he starts school in Sept.

 

Thanks anyway.

[Kathrynh]

My 5 year old is still in nappies but will now wee on the toilet. We missed out the potty. What has worked with him is pure bribery. He does not really like sitting on the toilet but he will now do a wee when asked but only if I hold a piece of chocolate in front of him and give it him when he has performed. He is non-verbal and has not yet worked out a way of telling me when he needs to go plus I dont think he minds a wet nappy so the problem is not completely solved yet but at least it is a very welcome start.

[forbsay]

Hi

 

My little boy was still in nappies when he went to school. I used to speak to him about how the food went into his mouth, into his tummy and this is why he needed to go to the toilet. He likes to know how things work. I also made up a song...........

 

I don't know if this will work or not. Sainsburys at the moment have got balls that you put into the toilet and then the boys have to aim to hit it when they go to the toilet - not sure if this is any help to you.

 

I notice that you say he is scared of the hole..............maybe you could get him just to stand at the toilet, say his pppppssssssss noise and then flush the toilet. He might realise that nothing is going to happen to him with regards to the hole (don't know if this makes sense or not)

 

If he responds to pictures - you could maybe make up a reward chart?

 

Forbsay

[V1971]

I notice that you say he is scared of the hole..............maybe you could get him just to stand at the toilet, say his pppppssssssss noise and then flush the toilet. He might realise that nothing is going to happen to him with regards to the hole

 

That's what we're doing and hopefully he'll pee in it one day, I just wish he could stand right by it rather than a couple of feet away! Thanks for the heads up about the balls, that sounds something he might like!

 

Thanks everyone!

[oxgirl]

Would his dad demonstrate for him what he's supposed to do, or has he got an older brother who he could copy? My lad never stood to wee, he always sat and I'm not sure if he still does actually, he's 13 now! Think he got in the habit of sitting because it was what he saw me doing and thought that was what you were meant to do.

 

~ Mel ~

[jlp]

We have those balls!

 

A friend of dp's visited the other day and went to the loo. He came out and said he'd found one of the kids balls in the toilet so fished it out for us! Ugh!

[Bard]

It's a long, long time ago. I've nearly forgotten.

Which in itself should be of some comfort to you "This too shall pass..."

We had a ball in the toilet with a smiley face painted on it.

We also went through a phase of weeing but not flushing until he was not in the room.

And, gross but effective, blue dye/cleaner in the loo. So if you did a really big wee, the colour changed to green

Well, he thought it was funny!

[V1971]

Bard, I would try anything, even the blue cleaner LOL. Yes, his Dad showed him a few times but he is working long hours all the time so that doesn't help. It sounds like I am doing the right thing, I just need to be patient. I only started potty training last week. I hate it.

[elun1]

Hi

O is 6 and he can wee in the toilet. We too skipped the weeing in the potty as he was too tall and the few times he did it, it ended up on the floor which somewhat understandably ended in a tantrum. He watched me on the toilet and like Mel says I think he thought that's how it's done so he still sits down. He's since watched his older brother and a couple of times has tried standing up but bottled out at the last minute and sat down again!

Getting him to understand that wees went in the toilet was, to be honest a long hard slog. (sorry to be pessimistic but it was) He got the idea by watching us, also using a visual timetable and tons of exaggerated praise for any sucesses. The many accidents he had I just said 'oh dear, wees go in the toilet' but didn't show any major sadness (even when feeling like screaming)

Sadly poos are a different story. He WILL NOT do it in the toilet even though he has wonderful control and can wait for hours til you're not looking and does it in pants. He is very scared of doing it in toilet and screams with terror if it's even suggested. I have no idea what to do as I think I've tried everything I've read about but it seems like a real phobia. Sadly he doesn't have the language to describe his fear exactly but we live in hope

Good luck!!

Elun xx

[Eva]

Hi V1971,

 

have you tried using a toilet-training video? I used one with my son and it was quite effective, (except at that time he learnt all the lines by heart and went around quoting from it).

 

I hated toilet training too - it can take over your life!

 

I'm sure your son will get there soon,

 

cheers,

Eva

[JsMum]

I think that it could be the actual fear of his wee going down the loo that is the problem, anxiety will produce the accident at the end because the first thing the body does when we are nervous is actually empty the bladder, ready for the flight or fight action.

 

A cognitive behaviour approach may be an idea, so he can look at why it he is affraid, and maybe some drawings so he can describe what it feels like when he is near a tiolet.

 

has the toilet got any thing child friendly added to it, in Little Angels there was a little girl who was allowed to dress up her tiolet and it she also got a sticker chart too with a visual poster to prompt her to go to the toilet.

 

There is some fab assessories for bathrooms now and kid friendly toilet seating, padding, boy gaurds, the favoirate place J likes to wee is a urinal, I sure do wish you could have these at home as well.

 

Is there any boys, men family/friends that could show him, talk to him about going t the toilet.

 

Books on the body also help especially the DK books that look at bladder/ urine ect.....

 

J started potty training at 2 and we had pottychairs in every room he didnt like wet nappies next to his skin so this made it a lot quicker to train him and when he went into pants and they became wet he hated the feeling, so again he would rush to the potty, hence the potty in every room and he got a 2p everytime he went.

 

J didnt progress to the toilet very easily and it took a long time for him to feel able to let go of that presious wee.

 

 

There is a lot of great potty designs out there now too.

 

JsMum

[dooday24]

reece used to wee in corners of the room.

but we just perservered did try training pants but he just thought they were nappies

he ended using a potty in the front room is nearly 7 and still uses his potty in his room at night wen hes awake even though hes right next door to the toilet

good luck

love donna sorry not much helpxxxxxxxxx

[V1971]

Thanks everyone for your input. {HUGS}