annie Report post Posted February 9, 2005 We had a follow-up meeting to make sure Alex stays in school, the outcome......Alex never wants to go back there Alex received a one hour detention last Thursday for talking with his friend, as usual only Alex was kept behind. Alex said that his head of year was trying to start and arguement with him about it (we complained to the LEA about her son, Alex's old LSA) Alex told her he didn't want to have an argument with her and to suspend him and walked off. Alex didn't hear anymore about it, apart from the detention was written in his link-book and no-one would give him the link-book ?!?!?!? Yesterday, finally he came home with the link-book, written in it is a detention for Monday (2 days ago) !!!!!! The meeting...........I bought the detention subject up, head of year says she had told him it was for Monday. Alex said she didn't, I said Alex was stressing about it so I don't believe he did knew it was Monday, and that Alex has never not turned up at a detention. I also said that just because she's told him something it doesn't mean he's processed it. The head of year has also requested that he be suspended for asking for one and for arguing with her. In the same conversation she has told him that he has no social skills and is rude! (Remember that bit). Head of year, SENCO, ASD teacher all said at the meeting that Alex has great social skills. I'm confused now The rest of the meeting consisted of how much the school were doing to help Alex and how little he was doing himself. Alex has done all that he was asked to do from the last meeting. Because Alex is banned from going outside at breaktime, at the last meeting he was told he has to earn them. Well, 6 weeks of excellent behaviour and he still hasn't had a break and today they told him he still isn't allowed out. He says he feels like a prisoner. Alex is also suffering from depression, so the outcome was that the LEA said the school are doing everything and Alex needs to see a phycologist/councellor, even though I had explained that he has seen 3 and they've all said that the school aren't giving him the right support and Alex has had problems fitting into mainstream school from day one because nobody has ever been able to understand him. Alex is so fed up now, doesn't want to go back. He felt that the whole meeting was a 'let's have a go at Alex' session. There were no positives. Even the LEA lady said that she'd spoken to me 'lots' of times last year. Which was in fact twice. I told her that everytime I'd called to speak to her she was either out or on holiday. I write down all my calls etc so I really don't know who she was thinking of but it certainly wasn't me. She also only started the job in September. Is it any wonder that we have no faith in the education system? The ones at our meeting were obviously doctors who sideline as teachers. Their diagnosis : Very mild Asperger's including social skills that are great except when his head of year is in a bad mood. Paranoia and Depression. That is what they actually said Sorry for not making much sense, I'm feeling very disheartened at the moment. I keep telling Alex that everything will be fine, but even he knows it's not going to be. Annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jericho Report post Posted February 9, 2005 Alex has had no break-time for 6 weeks???? How on earth do they justify THAT?????? Isn't it strange how a diagnosis can change to fit the school's needs? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted February 9, 2005 We have a parent in our local group who has a 6 year old who is also denied playtime. Where do they get these 'people' can't say the word I really would like to from? Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 9, 2005 Jericho Beats me In that 6 weeks he has also been on only his 2nd school trip ever (he's 15 now). It was representing the school at the launch of the 6 nations rugby thing in London, and his behaviour I was told was excellent. Is it any wonder he's depressed? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted February 9, 2005 Hi Annie - One thing that sticks out in your post is the 'earning' of breaktimes... Unless things have changed dramatically since I was last at school, breaktimes are not a privilege. You get kept in at breaktimes as a punishement/disciplinary measure - not let out for 'good behaviour'... Even prisons work to this principle, let alone schools! I'm not sure that loss of breaktime as an ongoing disciplinary measure should be used in any circumstances, but if it is it should include rigidly defined and mutually agreed expectations and objectives - not be dependent on the whim/goodwill of the staff. It's hard to comment on some of the other stuff you raise, 'cos they're not situations you can 'generalise', but on this point I think you can quite reasonably expect them to provide clear indications of what they expect from Alex, which you can then debate to find support strategies to help him achieve them. To put the onus on him, without clear guidelines, is absolute insanity. Best BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted February 9, 2005 Annie, I'm too angry to post exactly how I feel about the school detaining your boy in this way, so I'll cut to the chase. Check out the link below, scroll 1/3 of the way down the page until you come to point 9 - What rights does the school have to discipline my child? http://www.clsdirect.org.uk/legalhelp/leaf...ction=9〈=en Your post mentions that Alex has a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome - he has certain rights in school!!!! I think the CLS has a helpline telephone number - phone the CLS to see if it can advise you. You could also phone The Disability Rights Commission tel: 08457 622 633, ACE 0808 8005793 and IPSEA 0800 0184016. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 9, 2005 (edited) Hi Baddad Just to put you in the picture a little. Alex USED to have violent outbursts which was the reason that he was stopped from having breaktimes (understandably), this was started ages ago. In the meantime, Alex was statemented and was allocated a full-time LSA. The LSA would go out to break with Alex everything was fine. Then he tried to break up an argument when an older boy was having a go at his friend, no violence, but because he was there he was told he had lost his breaks. Alex sees himself as the school policeman. Even though he tries to stop arguments, the fact that he has even been in the vicinity has put him in trouble. He cannot understand that it should be school staff that should be stopping trouble not him. He is so rigid with rules. Because Alex used to lash out, the school are saying that he is still putting other pupils at risk. I can understand what they are saying to a degree but, Alex was told how he can earn his breaks ie by behaving, not getting in trouble, which he has done and the school are still not even considering letting him out. He even said at today's meeting, "Everybody's labelled me, and no matter what I do that wont change". That was when they said he was paranoid. On top of all of this, his statement says that Alex has very poor social skills and low self-esteem. It recommends social skills training and praise, of which he has received neither. Alex tried to kill himself last year because things were getting too bad for him. As he said at the time "Mum, I can't cope at school, the only time anybody (staff) talks to me, it's to have a go at me". In my other 'education - long rant' and 'back to school - good or bad' there's more which will give a bit more insight. Basically, he's had a really tough time but, still managed to do what the school have asked of him and got nowhere. Today's meeting in a nutshell just said they want him out and that's that. Annie Edited February 9, 2005 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
asereht Report post Posted February 10, 2005 Annie I am so angry at the way your son is being treated that there is steam coming from my ears My 14 yr old son as I said before is fairly well supported in the school he is in now although there is the odd thing I worry about. When he was in primary school they treated him exactly the way your son is being treated now. He had that treatment from age 8-12 and he still talks about it sometimes and has no happy memories of the school at all. What is happening with your son brings it all back to me and I could just cry for him. I hope things get better for him soon neither of you deserve this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 10, 2005 I've just had a call from a school nurse from a local primary school. She said that the school had contacted her to see if she could look into why Alex doesn't want to attend school and when he does, he falls asleep in class. She said she was asked how Alex could attend school more often. Boy, did I put her in the picture. In the end she said that she really doesn't know what she could do. So it's been left that as we have an appointment with Alex's paediatrition next week, I should fill her in on the latest events and tell the school nurse afterwards what she has said. I explained to her that Alex's paediatrition had given her recommendations many times and that the school have done nothing, so once again we will be going round in circles. I feel that all this talk is to bide the LEA and school's time until Alex leaves the education system. Lots of talking and no doing as usual. Annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 10, 2005 Just had a call from school, Alex has walked out and disappeared. He told his LSA he wont listen to the school staff because none of them will listen to him. Gotta go and find him. I'll update later. Annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 10, 2005 Annie <'> Neither you or your son have to put up with this situation Have you considered investigating a specialist school for AS/HFA?? Probably would be residential unless you live nearby. It is really worth fighting for this. If you want to PM me I can give you some names just for starters... Bidx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted February 10, 2005 Annie This is very worrying indeed. I hope you find him soon. One again we have a situation where a situation is being made far, far worse that it needs to be because the people responsible simply do not understand what is going on. It doesn't seem to me as if inclusion in a mainstream school is the right thing for your child, especially in a school that doen't seem to understand the issues. Please let us know how you get on. Simon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted February 10, 2005 Annie I really can't believe this....I'm completely horrified at how your son is being treated.....Does he go to Guantanamo School? They obviously have know idea of the huge stress and anxiety your child faces every moment he is at school. As for having to earn breaktimes by good behaviour........it's so not going to happen. My son has never, ever got his head around reward and punishment incentives like other children do...it is totally meaningless. I can't believe the school can't see this. I hope you find your son safe and well we'll all be thinking of you Barefoot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 10, 2005 (edited) School just called. Alex came back into school on his own and went off to his Princes Trust lesson. He also has music later today. These are the only two subject that he enjoys, which was the only reason he wanted to go into school today anyway. On the phone Alex's LSA pointed out that Alex cannot pick and choose what lessons he does and does not go to. Once again, I agree. But these two subjects are as I pointed out the only subjects that Alex has understanding teachers in. I am expecting another suspension or may even be a permanant exclusion after today. Probably the best thing that can happen (sad to say). Parent Partnership are trying to get work experience for Alex as is has been made quite clear that he not be allowed to go to another school as the one he is at has supposedly trained staff. trained in what I don't know. Annie Edited February 10, 2005 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted February 10, 2005 (edited) Hi Annie, You say that it has been made clear that your son will not be allowed to go to another school But if this school is not meeting the provision in his Statement, which it seems to me it can't possibly be doing, then as I understand things you have a right to ask for a different placement to be considered. If you decide to do this, I would advise doing your research first so that you can show your LEA some schools that will fulfill the provision in his Statement and offer him the right kind of support. It seems to me that this placement is just not working, and you have every right to a suitable placement for your son. Don't believe the LEA when they say this or that isn't possible...if you fight you will be surprised at what they will 'miraculously' suddenly find it possible to do. Good luck, Bid Edited February 10, 2005 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted February 10, 2005 (edited) I think the LEA are exceeding their powers here. If the placement is not meeting his neeeds then they need to provide a placement at a school that does. Is it worth calling for an early review of his statement so that the placement can be reviewed? Get some good advice and be prepared to threaten them with a tribunal! Simon Edited February 10, 2005 by mossgrove Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 10, 2005 (edited) Hi Simon, We have a review of Alex's statement next month where I will be going in armed up to the eyeballs. At the end of the day it appears to be all about money as usual. Plus the lady in the LEA is pretty new to her job. Alex's statement at the moment is so wooly you could knit a jumper with it, so that is the first thing that needs to be sorted out, plus obviously the placement. This is what it says:- Educational provision to meet needs and objective. A. Alex requires a broad and balanced curriculum including the National Curriculum approprately modified and differentiated to take into account his special educational needs. B. Alex equires a high level of supervision, which can ensure intervention by adults propr to any outbreak of violence with peers. C. Alex requires a carefully targeted proramme of social skills and self esteem building constructed jointly with Alex to ensure motivation and commitment. D. Alex requires a systematic, consistent and predictable approach to sanctions for rule breaking behaviour. Care should be taken to minimise the possibility that any response to undesirable behaviours are not inadvertently rewarding. E. Alex requires frequent, specific positive feedback in a manner that is acceptable to him. The effect of such feedback is always likely to be greater when provided as immediately as possible, and ideally, by an adult for whom Alex has a particular regard to. F. Alex's parents require frequent, specific, positive feedback. G. Alex should have access to word processing facilities whenever he and his teachers feel this might prove helpful. What ACTUALLY happens. A. Nothing, if he can't cope he removes himself from lessons as he was told to do. Update on this one. Alex walked out of school today because he asked if he could leave the class as he was stressed and was told no!!! B. Alex isn't violence now. His LSA time has been cut down to half, but still not allowed out to break. C. Yeah right. His self esteem has been broken. D. Suspended at ever opportunity. E. Positive feedback, what does that mean? F. Ditto G. This was asked for months ago, we was given a letter yesterday at the meeting about how we would have to pay for it if it was damaged. Annie Edited February 10, 2005 by annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted February 10, 2005 We are in the process of asking for an ealry review of statement for out eldest(7, aspergers) with a view to asking for special school provision. So it is new territory for us too. One thing the LEA said off the record which is food for thought is that if we go to the LEA saying that the provisions in the staement are not being met, then we may find action after the staement concerntrates on beefing up the provision in his current setting, whichh may or may not be what you want. If what we want is alternative provision, we need to phrase it such a way as to imply that despite loads of hard work by school and the professionals involved it is now clear that our son has needs that are over and above what can be provided in the mainstream environment. It follows that not all we would write would be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth (see my other posts), but it is something to discuss with people in your area who are "In the know" Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dylansplace Report post Posted February 10, 2005 He even said at today's meeting, "Everybody's labelled me, and no matter what I do that wont change". Alex tried to kill himself last year because things were getting too bad for him. Hi Annie, my heart really goes uot to you & your son.. The first quote, is amost word for word what my daughter expressed at a recent simialar meeting. The second quote is the one that worries me most. It sounds as though your sons self esteem is really at an all time low. I don't have answers as I am outside the uk system, but I do know how you must be feeling. So sorry <'> Hope things inprove very soon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 11, 2005 Thank you for your support. I am eternally grateful <'> <'> I had a call from Alex yesterday from school to say would I pick him up as music was cancelled. It was supposed to be only him and the teacher anyway, but I knew it was never going to happen. I've kept Alex home today as he is so stressed still and there's no way I can let him go in only for the same thing to happen that happened yesterday. I've booked an appointment with our GP for Tuesday (he's not in until then), and I've also left a message for his paed. to call me to save time explaining everything to her next Thursday. I'm sure the school think that I keep Alex off school for the fun of it...I don't. I've spent most of my life on the phone, attending meetings Dr. appointments trying to help my son, like a lot of us on here do. Annie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted February 11, 2005 Annie <'> Difficult to know what to say. Take care, stay strong and good luck. Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 11, 2005 Nellie <'> Even just being able to post here helps. We all understand eachother........need I say more lol Annie XX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
