I lost the plot with R today

[JenRose]

R came round this morning with xdh.

she had stayed at his last night, i had all the holiday clothes on the table as id washed them (im going away in 2 weeks with kids any my family) and she saw a short sleeved jacket that she wanted to wear.

of course i couldnt let her wear it cos its freezing.

so cue a massive meltdown-the lot kicking,screaming,pulling her hair,rolling over the floor.

xdh was for letting her wear it and i said no no way that teaches her this behaviour is acceptable.

this carried on for about 10 mins and then mike started making screeching noises cos he couldnt stand rosie,s screaming.

so xdh took her in her bedroom and let her wear a long sleeved summer cardigan.

she was ok and he was taking her out the door when she spotted the short sleeved jacket and so started meltdowning again.

id had enough.

i screamed fkg spoilt b**ch at her

 

i feel awful i really do.

 

her behaviour is terrible has been for a long time now and this morning i got the referral for camhs but there is a waiting list of several months before they will see her and in the meantime she,s back at nursery on monday and she knows and i think this could be part of it.

 

i cant believe i spoke to her like that.

i got a telling off from mike.

[llisa32]

Hi <'> Don't feel bad - you lost yr rag, we all do, and you said something not nice - we all do <'> honest <'>

 

 

Get a quiet moment with her later today and just say 'mummy got a bit cross earlier and used naughty words, and she didn't mean to.

 

If she doesn't know or recall what you said, but then asks 'what did you say?' just make a silly word up - if she does remember just say grown ups' sometimes use that saying when they are cross and you didn't mean to say naughty things.

 

Chances are she won't either recall or be bothered - it'll just be you <'> mummy's guilt huh? - theres nothing else like it!

 

Don't be hard on yourself, you've had a lot going on lately - enjoy a cuddle with girly later <'>

[brooke]

<'> <'> im sorry Jenrose sometimes we all lose the plot! Sometimes i dont know why my Dh puts up with me as he gets the brunt of my anger. I think lisa's advice is good just sit down with her when she comes in and give her a hug <'>

Take care

[allie]

<'> <'> <'>

Honest we've all been there and done the same thing, at the end of the day we are human and we get to our limit too.

Don't beat yourself up about it, great advice from previous posts.

Take care x

[elun1]

<'> <'> You're only human - it really does happen to all of us from time to time. I think it's really good advice to sit down with her later and say you're sorry but everone gets cross sometimes, just like she feels cross. Have a cuddle and move on <'>

Elun xxx

[pearl]

<'>

What everyone else says.

I've done it too.

[Bard]

Jenrose, I used to stand in my garden in tears, usually in the dark thinking

"I'VE GOT DEGREES IN HOW TO MANAGE CHILDREN...HOW CAN I BE SO CR*P WITH MY OWN?"

And that was with my NT daughter. They forgive us. It lets them know that not only are we human and imperfect, but that when they make mistakes, we will forgive them.

<'>

[Clare63]

<'> <'> <'>

 

Been there too Hun.

 

Clare x x x

[dooday24]

dont beat yrself up i hav been there too and feel bl00min awful afterwards but we r only human

love donnaxxxxx

[coolblue]

The times I've done this! Saying sorry afterwards is definitely the way to go. It usually results in my kids saying sorry too. I think it gives them the opportunity to reflect on what happened. But make it clear you are apologising for your out of order behaviour, not for refusing to let her wear the jacket!

[rainbow queen]

many many times go through this........ <'> >< <'> ><

 

i am trying my best not to get drawn into the argument...............its very hard when you are feeling low/tired.

the guilt u feel after is horrible and then it turns into a negative cycle.............

 

you know its no good deep down but sometimes u cant take no more stress.

 

best thing is to avoid the bait ....into the argument

tell your child your going to ignore them now till they have calmed down

remove yourself away from the situation

or place your child somewhere else -while they calm down

 

though its hard to remember all the above while its escalating.

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Ive done it too when its one kick of too many when im down and tired when i cant take no more i scream or worse if there can be worse....i feel so so bad afterwards specialy has my son just ignores me any way sometimes you just have to let the lid on the pressure pot blow else youd go nutts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited.Language too strong for Forum.Karen.

Edited January 7, 2008 by Karen A

[hev]

ive had the guilty feelings too many times to mention,especially after a rubbish day and we have rowed and i look at him when hes asleep

 

i know its a rotten feeling but we are only human arent we <'> <'> they know we love em

[LizC]

<'> <'> <'> Hi don't beat yourself up, it happens to us all at some point!! It was only the other day I called matthew something on similar lines to what you said. I really hate it when I loose the plot! you are certanly not alone.

[Paula]

This forum is utterley pathetic at times with its moderators editing youre posings all the time or worse still deleting them.............

 

Any one would think id used the dreaded c word when all id done was use a swear word with one letter at the front then some aterixes and then the last letter ...............

 

The support has been good over the past 18 months or so but quiete honestly i thought i was delaing with adults and not an extension of the nanny state..............

 

 

Goodby

 

 

Now karen come on delete or edit

[oxgirl]

I didn't see the word you used, Paula, but I think the mods are quite right to edit out offensive language. I'd hate to see people's posts littered with expletives, it can come across as aggressive and not very pleasant and makes some people, myself included, feel quite uncomfortable. No offence intended to you.

 

~ Mel ~

[Paula]

All id said was that once after a particular trying day with my son id shouted the b word at him cept id put the first two letters then some asterexix then the last word to show the original poster that we all loose our rag were all human and it gets to us and we regret it....................I guess some people even when discussing the so called relaities of bringing up an autisitc child even amongst other parents still feal they must sugar coat the pill before giveing the details i for one feel i dont want to do this any more if i cant tell it how it actually is warts and all in all the graphic and yes unpleasent details language asterixed or not then whats the point the true picture isnt being portrayed..........

 

Im not offended by language it adds a reality to a description it brings a truth.............

 

Some dont want to know the truth only a month ago a whole post of mine was dleeted by a moderator coz id jokingly said id stove me sons head in if he blocked the toilet againe.............it was simply a turn of phrase we use in yorkshire and didnt mean i was a child murdere some people are far too sensative and need to get real.............