The day it all fell apart

[Mumble]

How to support an autistic student, by A. D. Witch

 

Firstly, prepare the room - make it even messier than it was, give the student a place to sit where they will continually smash their elbow on the table, and arrange to have the heating/air-conditioning both on making a horrendous noise.

 

Next, start the meeting late.

 

Then spend 15 minutes going through all the piles of ###### in the room being unable to find the forms which you "had last week"

 

 

Once this initial preparation is done, litter your conversation with choice phrases from the following:

 

"of course you're an individual, but everyone else .... and no one else ..."

 

"you're the only one who seems to have these problems"

 

"well all other autistic students have support from their families" (can't get the emphasis right, but imagine it said in an accusational, why are you bothering me way)

 

"You're the only person who needs this support so we don't have anything"

 

"I can't do anything" (well, yes, I'd worked that one out you lazy good for nothing witch)

 

"I don't have any teeth" - erm???

 

"I'm caught between a rock and a hard place" - erm, huh??

 

 

Make sure that you repeat several times that everyone else has been fine and no one else has had these problems. Talk about finances (and re-repeat phrases). Ensure that at no time is the student in any doubt about what a burden they are, both human and financial and really make them feel that their only option is to jump off Waterloo Bridge. Ensure that whilst the student has streams of tears running down their face you do no more than to put a box of tissues within easy reach and continue with the torrent of burden/difficult/no one else...

 

Then, when the student is finding it difficult to take much more in (and anyway you've got the message in clearly and repeatedly), is mid-meltdown and completely unable to cope, kick them out the door because you have another meeting to get to. Make sure when doing this that you remember your building is not their's and you have just kicked an autistic student in meltdown out onto the busy streets of London.

 

As a final flourish, don't send any of the emails "by four o'clock" that you said you would send.

 

Yes, I've had enough. And yes, I took it out on other students, so now have even less people who will talk to me.

[pearl]

Oh Mumble <'> <'> <'>

[llisa32]

God I hate that stupid lazy ignorant witch of a DW you have ended up with!!

 

I know you'll be feeling really upset right now but please don't let this woman bring your confidence down - she is totally and utterly incapable of doing her job and to be honest I think if you got any of the discrimination groups involved you'd have a very good case.

 

I know you've said before that if you create a fuss about your treatment then you'll feel like 'you'll be causing trouble at uni' - but the people that are sposed to be supporting you - ie - 'her'... at the moment are doing a totally abysmal job and I am utterly appalled at her treatment of you - both today and in the past.

 

I really do think it's time you let someone else get involved on your behalf, and I'm equally sure this will not result in you 'getting into trouble' - I'm hoping some others will come along on this thread and agree with this point so that we can convince you <'>

 

Please please remember you have done nothing wrong - at all!!, you are being treated appallingly, and it's completely wrong. I feel this woman who is supposed to be providing support actually takes advantage of your AS and uses it to her advantage to lessen her workload - I don't generally think the worst of people but in her case I think it's justified.

 

I hope you're okay - I'll pm u in a sec <'> <'>

[ScienceGeek]

Hey Mumble,

 

I think from what you have said before and what happened today that she doesn't seem capable or interested in actually helping you. There is no way she should be able to treat you that way and maybe a complaint to someone above would be appropriate. Just because the other autistic students didn't need the help doesn't meant that she should use it as an excuse to deny help being put in place or at least trying.

 

Treat yourself well this evening. Then prepare yourself for a fight, you don't have to put up with shoddy treatment like that. <'>

 

SG

[Clare63]

Mumble ~ <'> <'> <'>

 

You certainly are not being treated very fairly and the way she has handled the meeting was totally appalling, how dare she !!!

 

Clare x x x

[mumble_rocks]

Mumble!!

 

What a rubbish day!! Sounds like my lectures on a break and have come to haunt you!

 

Just because other AS students arent needing help (as in they are not asking for it) doesnt mean that they wouldnt benifit. The difference is you are aware what you need support wise to do well at Uni and maybe the other with AS dont have the confidence to turn around and ask for support. (does that make any sense at all??)

[Kathryn]

Mumble

 

<'> <'>

 

You knew it was going to be difficult, didn't you.

 

Official complaint time, definitely!

 

K x

[Mumble]

What does having no teeth mean? I assume this is a metaphor but it's not in my new dictionary. She does have teeth. They're wonky and yellow and make her even uglier.

[ScienceGeek]

What does having no teeth mean? I assume this is a metaphor but it's not in my new dictionary. She does have teeth. They're wonky and yellow and make her even uglier.

 

I have no idea Anyone?

[Kathryn]

Well either she has no teeth because you punched them out

 

or...the likelier metaphorical meaning, because she has no power to do anything.

 

K x

[Mumble]

or...the likelier metaphorical meaning, because she has no power to do anything.

Or that she can't be bothered to do anything? It doesn't make sense for her to say she has no power. She's disability support, this is the disability office. If she doesn't have any power, what's the point of her job?

 

I think her use of metaphor really underlies the fact she doesn't have a clue about ASDs.

[Kathryn]

Or that she can't be bothered to do anything? It doesn't make sense for her to say she has no power. She's disability support, this is the disability office. If she doesn't have any power, what's the point of her job?

 

Good question. And you're probably right about her attitude: she can't be bothered, or feels inadequate.

 

But her comments and her other metaphor "I'm caught between a rock and a hard place" (= faced with two equally bad choices) are giving the message she would like you to believe, i.e. that it isn't her fault that she can't help you, because the system, rather than her own shortcomings, prevents her from doing her job effectively.

 

I think her use of metaphor really underlies the fact she doesn't have a clue about ASDs.

 

I agree.

 

K x

[Deedee]

Oh Mumble thats a truly awful attitude that woman has...I hope you are ok and realise none of this is your fault.

 

I cannot understand why if she has so much, *ahem I use the term loosely* experience (!!) of supporting adults on the spectrum, that she simply hasn't grasped the concept that Autism IS a vast spectrum with all people affected by it in differing ways.Therefore they need differing levels/ways of support!

 

I'm soooo damn cross on your behalf!!

[Bagpuss]

I'm lost for words, having just read your confidentiality thread on top of this one too.

 

You deserve better!

[Corcaigh]

Mumble, I can't believe she is a disability support officer. I'm dumbfounded *shocked face*

 

Move down here to UCC... I would love to have you as a student <'>

 

Martina

[brooke]

really sorry mumble its just unbeliveable

[Mumble]

I think her use of metaphor really underlies the fact she doesn't have a clue about ASDs.

 

I agree.

 

I remembered another she used (there were lots). She said that I was "spitting hairs". Having looked this up, she must have said/meant "splitting hairs" which means being pedantic. How dare she say that of me? :angry:

[Frangipani]

Mumble,

 

Oooooh......... aaaarrrgggghhhhh!

 

Can I have her phone number and name pm I will gladly call her from 'Aussie' and advise her she just placed herself in the hands of the Discrimination Board. Mumble don't take this nonsense hun, I've been there with my son . Don't give up, don't get mad - seek justice so this never happens again. She is clearly 'slacking' on the job - if she is de-motivating you instead of encouraging you 'complain'! Let me do it, seriously iykwim. You have a case. Kathryn may have the phone number for Disability Discrimination. But you don't need me as I know you can do it.

 

Most important - keep going..... you're almost there!! Yes it hurts, but get up and keep walking..... you may say I am sick of hearing that and say to that inner voice -'NO!- You keep going and I will meet you there! Come on Mumble...... Breathe in - breathe out! <'> <'> Now - keep going this blur and cloud will vanish. What to do will come to you!. Soon this will be in the past - life and the journey is like this. Just relax, swim, walk, watch your diet nurture you - soon you will be past this and you'll think - wow I did it..... I got through...... so just keep going -you are doing great. I believe you can do it <'> <'> So does Lee

 

Fran <'>

Edited February 20, 2008 by Frangipani

[Kinda]

Hi Mumble

 

I think its important that you view its them that have the problem and not you, they are meant to support you and provide facilitities.

 

It would seem to me that she doesn't understand the issues relating to AS and so there is an element of education you will need to give her.

 

I think you should also make an official complaint to head of course, Dean of University.

 

Believe me from my experience most students don't complain because they fear they will be seen as trouble makers but when life becomes unbearable is there really any alternative. When we complained (that is my son and myself) I think we got more from my intervention than just my son and so I would suggest getting someone to support you at the meetings.

 

They are failing you not you failing them. Try and hang in there and get some support if you can. PM me if you need help.

[Mumble]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

I'm laughing because it's suddenly got more ridiculous and it's all I can do to stop myself from crying

 

Said witch has drafted an email to be sent to other students for my 'support'. Thankfully it's only a draft and after I've seen my supervisor this afternoon, it will be a draft to be filed in the bin in the corner.

 

It's hilarious - she completely shows how much she doesn't understand what AS is - I can't let it go out because it passes on mis-information. Let's just say that in a fairly short email she's managed to include all the stereotypes we constantly complain about on here - that it affects males (I've read it several times - I'm worried now, I know I don't wear dresses and perfume but does she think I'm a male????), that AS was identified recently (erm, check your history on Hans Asperger there, please), that we're academically gifted (), that we have a language disorder and a communication disorder. Oh yeah, and that ASDs affect 1 in 300.

 

I'm just going to reply to her and tell her erm, no!!!

 

Believe me from my experience most students don't complain because they fear they will be seen as trouble makers but when life becomes unbearable is there really any alternative.

Well this is exactly the problem I'm having. And I have to say that academically, my university is brilliant. I love it there, I can't fault it and the academics in my department are wonderful and really supportive of me. It is at the level of student support, particularly disability support, that everything falls down.

[bid]

I know I've said it before, but I really think you should contact the Equality and Human Rights Commission (this has replaced the Disability Rights Commission).

 

They are great, and will support you all the way to court if they think you have a case. They will also draft letters, etc, for you.

 

http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/en/Pages/default.aspx

 

Good luck...just give them a call and explain your situation.

 

Bid <'>

Edited February 20, 2008 by bid

[Kinda]

Hi Mumble

 

Hang in there your peers and the academics should be able to differentiate your academic life from your complaints regarding your other issues. Obviously at a higher level in the university the 2 sides come together.

 

We got better treatment after complaining than before and my son advised me that most students wouldn't complain due to fear of discrimination against them.

 

My argument would be that you are being discriminated against due to having special needs (as well as the confidentiality issues) and this worked for us. My understanding is by law the University can not discriminate against you so this is a good argument.

 

Take care but don't let it interfer long term with your studying. My son is now talking of doing a Phd but I have reached my highest level of incompetance concerning academia and so have retired with my last Open University course.