100% attention

[lisa35]

our almost 13 yr old demands our attention, and it feels like allllll the time. ,mum look at this, mum watch this, he has no idea that we re not interested in what ever his latest obsession is, and its exhausting!! Does any one have any ideas how we reduce/ this, i KNOW HE LL NEVER STOP! Cant even go for a pee without um, where are you!!!!

Also even if we re in bed , he s calling for u hug, etc, its not bad for him- school hols- so can stay up late-but we re still both working! s xxxxAny tips?

[Enid]

I sooo know what you mean, mine is nearly 13 and the same! I try to ignore as much as i can, but that only works when I am calm and have had enough sleep, so not very often, he walks the dog with the neighbour every night, thats where he is now, so I try to regroup! just sympathy really, no advice. <'> <'> Enid

[JsMum]

yes oh I know what you mean

 

all day today with J too, look, watch, listen, if I dont respond its a nip, or a nudge or a pull on my arm until its discharged, its untrue.

 

I had to discuss attention and how he cant except 100 percent attention all the time, its exhausting, if I dont respond he gets aggressive and stern, and what was actually a nice time together has now turned into a fall out all because I was not looking, listening and taking in every word he says, I find it difficult to look and listen at a person, but he insists I look at him, I cant gaze out the window or if I do trail off into a merry daydream I get nudge that disturbs my peaceful mind, its really hard work, J has difficulties expressing his conversations too and so it takes soo long from him to get to the point and so it takes double the time, im patient as anything and give him loads of attention but its never ever enough, there like a sponge.

 

Im absaloutly exhausted today, mainly because of what you posted here, wanting 100 percent, all the Time.

 

JsMum

[lisa35]

Js mum, we separated at birth me thinks! so may things the same

its hard at times, no head speace, feel like even my thoughts not my own!

he cant understand why I dont want to watch his flight simulator on the pc allllll day! even when we say say shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....he says..............yes but.......just look!!!!!!!

xxxx

[jo jones]

we have this with blaine constantly omg is it gonna get worse????? i hope not he is only 6 god help us?????we have this with roller coaster simulator and a train one aswell,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i have let him go on the other pc upstairs cos he is doin my head in,,,he is calling me constantly arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,few more weeks yet peeps,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[bikemad]

O gawd this is what has driven me to distraction so far these hols.....demanding my attention constantly n if he dont get it he moans nags whines n whinges etc etc till he does.

[jo jones]

ditto

[allsetuk]

OMG ! ME TOO mines only 6 going on 30.....he is exactly like this i feel like i live with a teenager !! i have to listen to everything he says 100 % of the time, alot of it he repeats and i just cant look enthusiastic which makes matters worse,

[baileyj]

Mines the same, he's 7, its guns, war, soilders, shooting over and over again, models of guns, names of soilders. At 7.30 in the morning i wake up to him standing by my head saying "morning Mom, I'm corporal blahdeblah, and this gun is an AK47 with a magazine", and it goes on and on until bedtime. Doesn't matter what you say. I just answer, with "oh yes", or the required thing. Its exhausting.

 

Now yr telling me its going to carry on into teens, omg!

[lynyona]

Kieran still does it now and he s 22 but he isnt has persistant as he used to be, but he will subject us to his non stop xbox360 playing everyday and we have a nightly game of bomberman and if im on the computer he keeps coming through saying bomberman and he ll walk off and 5 mins later he ll say bomber man im not strong willed i surrender quietly lol.weve just realised something his gaming now dh likes football the same as kieran and hes got every football game out and he very rarely plays the football games unless dh is at home my eldest only picked up on that last week he s at work today and we havent had a peep out of fifa 60 million.

[bikemad]

Mines the same, he's 7, its guns, war, soilders, shooting over and over again, models of guns, names of soilders. At 7.30 in the morning i wake up to him standing by my head saying "morning Mom, I'm corporal blahdeblah, and this gun is an AK47 with a magazine", and it goes on and on until bedtime. Doesn't matter what you say. I just answer, with "oh yes", or the required thing. Its exhausting.

 

Now yr telling me its going to carry on into teens, omg!

 

Lol that sounds like me...I get to the point were I just say yes, no , o dear etc...ive got it wrong on times mind cos ive not heard right.

[pompomx2]

our almost 13 yr old demands our attention, and it feels like allllll the time. ,mum look at this, mum watch this, he has no idea that we re not interested in what ever his latest obsession is, and its exhausting!! Does any one have any ideas how we reduce/ this, i KNOW HE LL NEVER STOP! Cant even go for a pee without um, where are you!!!!

Also even if we re in bed , he s calling for u hug, etc, its not bad for him- school hols- so can stay up late-but we re still both working! s xxxxAny tips?

CONSTANT CONSTANT CONSTANT...Mummy look at me,no mummy watch this. With the two of them it's like a game of tennis ,as soon as one has finished ,if they can wait that long!,it's over to the other one. We're only in week 1 of summer hols and my brain is mush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. The competion for my attention is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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ooooooooooooo draining Good luck

[jo jones]

same ere i'm afraid

[stressedmumto2]

Same here too, my boyfriend suggetsed the other day that I get some sunglasses so that I can pretend I am looking even when i'm not as both my two keep on for full attention, inclusding me giving full eye contact when I am watching something they are doing.

[KateBall]

Same here too, my boyfriend suggetsed the other day that I get some sunglasses so that I can pretend I am looking even when i'm not as both my two keep on for full attention, inclusding me giving full eye contact when I am watching something they are doing.

 

Oh now thats a good idea I might try. Same problem here too. And even if someone else tries to take the strain by answering his questions my ds will still insist that I answer it as well. And if I don't answer or it doesn't sound like I'm interested by the tone of my voice - he'll say - "you don't love me do you". So its very difficult to give a sort of automatic answer without really listening cos I might get it wrong or I met get the level of interest in my voice wrong.

[bikemad]

Ive got that with my ds Kate-if my reply dont 'sound right' then il have 20 questions on wether I love him, wether I care what he wants to say etc etc.

[pookie170]

Had the same thing happen with Cal today...thought a quick blast of The Grim Adventures would hold his attention for 10 minutes and give my jangling nerves(and eardrums!!!) a wee rest, but noooo...... miladdo had other ideas.

 

'MUM, look at this!!'

*Mum pretends not to hear...although how that could be at this volume, she doesn't know...*

'Hey Mum, did you see it, did you?'

*Oops, I'm afraid I missed it, never mind, you just...*

'Mum, look, I'll rewind it for you, okay?'

*Oh, yes, I s.....*

'Look Mum, it's funny , isn't it?'

*Why, ye...*

'Did you see where the little man tried to get them with his sword? Did you? And then he went, ooh, I'm gonna get you, it was funny wasn't it, eh Mum, it was funny, eh? Can I rewind that bit again, look there it is backward, hoo hoo hoo, look Mu, look, see....'

On and on, ad infinitum, arrgh, arrgh,arrgh!!! Ooh, I even tried getting peace for 2 minutes by going to make tea, and he came running through, held open the door so I could see the telly and continued his persistent monologue on what I could see was happening!!!!!!

 

To add to the triumphant Cal-tinnitus in my poor lugs, wee Lijey then joined in, frustrated as heck...'Be quiet Cal, I can't hear!!! Muuuuum, make him stop, I can't hear!!'

And Cal never stopped once, over it all!!

 

Oooo...........arrgh.

[Zosmum]

Al this sounds ooooohhhhh ssoooooooo familiar lol

 

All day every day yadda yadda yadda yadda you know the stuff

[bikemad]

Had the same thing happen with Cal today...thought a quick blast of The Grim Adventures would hold his attention for 10 minutes and give my jangling nerves(and eardrums!!!) a wee rest, but noooo...... miladdo had other ideas.

 

'MUM, look at this!!'

*Mum pretends not to hear...although how that could be at this volume, she doesn't know...*

'Hey Mum, did you see it, did you?'

*Oops, I'm afraid I missed it, never mind, you just...*

'Mum, look, I'll rewind it for you, okay?'

*Oh, yes, I s.....*

'Look Mum, it's funny , isn't it?'

*Why, ye...*

'Did you see where the little man tried to get them with his sword? Did you? And then he went, ooh, I'm gonna get you, it was funny wasn't it, eh Mum, it was funny, eh? Can I rewind that bit again, look there it is backward, hoo hoo hoo, look Mu, look, see....'

On and on, ad infinitum, arrgh, arrgh,arrgh!!! Ooh, I even tried getting peace for 2 minutes by going to make tea, and he came running through, held open the door so I could see the telly and continued his persistent monologue on what I could see was happening!!!!!!

 

To add to the triumphant Cal-tinnitus in my poor lugs, wee Lijey then joined in, frustrated as heck...'Be quiet Cal, I can't hear!!! Muuuuum, make him stop, I can't hear!!'

And Cal never stopped once, over it all!!

 

Oooo...........arrgh.

 

O gawd that sounds like ds-it drives me round the bend bigtime. I cant wait for the hols to end tbh-my nerves are at breaking point!!!

[allsetuk]

Persistance is the word , constant monologue over this years obsession, last summer it was ben 10 , now its phineus and ferb. And he is constantly telling me over and over and over and over , did you see , come see, come look , its so funny, ohh you missed it, why didnt you watch, you dont love me, you want me to leave, come now I said NOW, what are you doing, you didnt do as i say, why cant i be the boss of you. This is the favourite saying this year. Why cant i be the boss of you. if i dont sound interested he gets madder and madder with me

[av16]

We've got the same problem. Just back from Corfu (same place for the last 4 hols - he likes it & knows it well now). Constant attention required on the beach - play football at 42 degrees/volleyball/swim - never just sit and read. He also says the same thing over and over again - last year the Simpsons, this year some old 70's film that he has learnt lots of the script - he just kept saying it over and over again - all day. Tried to restrict it but then he reverted to the Simpsons and the other favourite football.

Have to say though that he was the best he's ever been on holiday but I guess that's because not much has changed since last year. He's 11 now so first holiday since he's been with us without constant screaming

We'll have to work on the constant attention bit now for next year.

[bikemad]

Persistance is the word , constant monologue over this years obsession, last summer it was ben 10 , now its phineus and ferb. And he is constantly telling me over and over and over and over , did you see , come see, come look , its so funny, ohh you missed it, why didnt you watch, you dont love me, you want me to leave, come now I said NOW, what are you doing, you didnt do as i say, why cant i be the boss of you. This is the favourite saying this year. Why cant i be the boss of you. if i dont sound interested he gets madder and madder with me

 

O my god...I thought id never find someone else whos kid said that-ds says it all the time 'Why cant I be the boss of you'!!!!!!!! And the last few weeks he has gone of what was his obsession(WWEWrestling) and has decided on his new one.....he is a gangsta!!!!!! Were he got it from ive yet to find out but he pulls his trousers down round his bumb n kinda does that stupid walk they do n when he talks it is americanized and he does that wierd thing gangsta do with their hands...drives me mad!!!