It's offical we have lost control

[Cariad]

Well we are being refered to the intensive team, T is tearing the family apart. It's now affecting his sisters and they think it's normal to tear lumps out of each other, and the middle child is getting out of control and is very within herself. We had to fill out questionares about our mental state and I think I ticked them all, I even have a constant headache and eye twitch!

 

I feel helpless, I've lost control and I'm so worn out. I'm tired of the abuse T gives us and being covered in bruises, I haven't even got the energy to do anything for myself. To make it worse T got up for school weed on the floor and his trousers are too small and he hates his �36 shoes!!

 

Anyone else in the same boat?

 

Has anyone else had the intensive team in?

[Diane]

Hi Cariad,

 

I am not in the same boat as you. Not sure what I can say to make you feel any better.

I think all I can do is send <'> >< <'>

 

Diane

[darky]

I had an intensive team in and they were fabulous. The assessed us over about 2 weeks with lots of visits at different times of the day, at school and with sessional worker. Then they devised a program of work and discussed everything they were going to do. They did circle of trust, danger awareness, anger management, and emotional literacy. Then we were refered to a sensory specialist OT for advice on sensory processing.

 

It was a great service and we got some good advice, and in addition they gave us a personlised booklet for the children explaining what they had done, with pictures and suggestions for management so we could keep it up.

 

The only downside was they had to leave!! As problems keep cropping up, we just end up with lists of new problems to tackle. Now the consultant wants us to go on early bird plus program which should help some more.

 

There is no shame in asking for help. In fact it makes you a much better parent for accepting the help. It will make you stronger. Have one of these <'>

[Cat]

Carid you have not lost control you have reached crisis point and that is because the system has failed 'you'. It should never get to this point but sadly all too often it does. I really hope that you get the help that you need now <'>

 

Cat

[pookie170]

Not in the same boat, but have one of these on me anyway <'>

 

Cat's right, and I echo her sentiments- hope things improve for you guys asap.

 

Take care,

Esther x

[Enid]

At xmas when he was taken away 3 times by the police as he was so out of control and literally trying to kill us, we had a crisis team, by the time they had finished the assessment, 3 months, we were deemed no longer to need help as he was calm, we have now got a CAHMS social worker, after many months, we are getting 1 day a week support. Would you consider residential for your boy, to give you all a break? x Enid

[bid]

We had a intervention package from the specialist diagnostic centre that dx'd my DS when he was 8 and we were at absolute crisis point.

 

A psychologist did home visits to help us establish an intensive behavioural therapy programme and he was started on ritalin.

 

It was a real turning point for us as a family...I hope it really helps all of you too <'>

 

Bid

[harmony]

Just to say, thinking of you. It is such a hard job you are doing, but you are doing it!!! well done.

lots of huggs

 

Harmony xx <'>

[wasuup]

Yes loads of hugs <'> >< <'> >< <'> ><

[Kathryn]

Hope the intervention helps Cariad, just sending you <'> <'>

 

K x

[bikemad]

<'>

[soraya]

Oh Cariad sending lots of <'> <'> I really do know what you are going through, Nick used to pee on his floor all the time, in the end we had to take the carpet up and put a laminate floor down, he did this for 2 years and could not tell us why he did it. He also got really violent and abusive, we were refered to the intensive team, and he was admitted to an assesment unit at hospital, he had to stay during the week, but he came home at weekends. It was good as he finally got a statement through it and medication. We used to feel so low and usless as parents but we got through it and have now turned a corner as Nick hasent been violent for ages. Hang on in there it will get better l promise <'> <'> I am sure that puberty has a lot to do with this as so many people post about their 12-13year olds getting worse.